Dewey Lambdin - Sea of Grey

And damn his father, but he wrote about as superciliously as he looked, with passages of sympathy interspersed with others bearing the tone of "I told you so!" or even sour amusement, as if writing one of his old cronies from the Hellfire Club or his first regiment about the peccadilloes of a total stranger, over which they could both crow!

"Sophie continues rather wan," Lewrie read, "though she has taken up of late with the company of Richard Oakes, one of Harry Embleton's fellow roisterers-one with some sense, at bottom, at the very least- who is a Captain of Cavalry in the local Yeomanry militia, and shapes well as a soldier. Pity he's a first son, not down for a set of colours like his brother Roger. He will, however, inherit substantial acreage, and may be thought a prize catch in these parts (dull as they may be). You are aware, though, that somewhere along the line, to Caroline's great Furor, you evidently gave permission for Sophie and your own First Officer, Lt. Anthony Langlie (a worthy unknown to me) to correspond. The Arrival of a letter from Jamaica is become a momentous Event in your household."

"And when the Devil did I do that?" Lewrie muttered to himself, vowing that he and young Langlie were due a heart-to-heart meeting, soonest! A rather loud one, he expected.

"Caroline, of course, dismissed the very idea at once, damning all Sailors as highly suspect, which vocal and insistent disapproval has, given Sophie's contrary Nature, made her the more eager to correspond. Just recall how your earlier disapproval of Harry Embleton almost drove her to elope with him to Gretna Green!"

And damn his father some more, but he'd found it so amusing that he simply had to relate how "… once Services were done two Sundays past, inspired perhaps by Rev. Goodacre's sermon on the forgiveness of Sins, your little Charlotte accosted all and sundry in the church yard with the pronouncement that 'My daddy's a sinner, and a filthy beast!' in her usual loud and piercing voice, extolling the congregation for their prayers. Embarassing, of course, but quite droll, you must admit. 'Out of the mouths of babes,' as it were, hey?"

Droll, hell! Lewrie thought, squirming anew in long-distance embarassment; and Caroline not so quick to shush her, either!

That was followed by a long plaint as to how he was being "cut" or snubbed by the local gentry, forced to spend more time on his farm- alone! -or being positively driven to flee up to London, where his new town house was shaping main-well, and plans for a gentlemens' hфtel and lodging club were coming together quite nicely, thankee very much, and the London Season was lively and provided him much distracting Solace and diverting Amusement, in their time of Troubles!

As to those Troubles, "… but your brother-in-law Governour is hellish exercised, nigh to choleric Frenzy, by your Faithlessness, and swears that he saw it coming years before, but could not dissuade you, or his Dear Sister, from your Folly. He now goes about swearing that, had he the Occasion to confront you visage contre visage as the French say, he would quite gleefully do you in for the Shame you have brought upon the Chiswick Name, the gentlemanly constricts of a Duel bedamned."

Lewrie had himself a skeptical snort over that threat; Governour was approaching twenty stone in weight, and getting out of bed lately was enough to turn his 'visage' choleric! Damn swords or pistols; if it came to that he'd challenge him to a foot race and see who keeled over first!

Back during the Revolution, when Governour was as lean and sinewed as a young panther, it would have been a different proposition, but good living and prosperity had taken its toll.

On that score, his father had further written "… when last I took my mid-day meal at the Red Swan Inn, the churl actually dared to banter me, your carcass not being immediately available. I quickly informed Mr. Chiswick that, should he desire an early Death, I was more than willing to oblige him. Did he desire Pistols at twenty paces, I would await his Seconds, though it was no affair of mine, and that his use of my Presence as an excuse for his disgraceful and boastful Behaviour would not be tolerated even by a gentleman of only the slightest acquaintance with you. I further informed him that I found all his Ranting to be due to your Absence, and not a thing he would do in your Vicinity. Then, following that slur, did he wish Aggrievance, I told him that I would meet him that Instant on the side lawn with a small-sword. Alan, the weather has been most cooperative this spring, and you should see how Verdant the countryside is become. The side yard, your lawn, and my new-sodded ones, have come up something wondrous to behold, do you care to know.

"He made a great Show of Apoplexy, but side-wise demurred, not refusing exactly, and stated that his Argument was with you, not your poor old Father. At which shilly-shally I brusquely informed him of the consequences of his rash Intemperance, assuring him that once you were returned to England, you would be more than willing to confront him in any manner he wished, and to temper his utterances with the sure certain, and fatal, Risk to his self in Mind…"

And set me up for a killin ' duel, Lewrie gloomed; thankee very damn much, you old braggart! You never did me any favours, did ya?

Sir Hugo further carped that he now took his. custom to the Olde Ploughman Inn, and that, sterling beer notwithstanding, he had never been so bored in his life, nor entered such a seedy establishment than that, comparable to a tumbledown Irish shebeen or Hindoo arrack-dive! Poor him, being forced to rub elbows with the common folk!

It seemed that Caroline, in a raging snit, had determined that all plans for Hugh to take colours as an Army officer, or even see the slightest glimpse of sea water all his born days, much less go in his father's (disreputable!) footsteps as a Midshipman in the Royal Navy, were quite well "scotched," too. Sewallis and Hugh, she had written him, would board away this fall, at a school which stressed Christian and Classical preparation for the civilian, country gentry life, if not a career in the clergy; which decision Sir Hugo had deemed a mortal-pity in his letter, decrying the waste, of Hugh at least, who was so suited for a military or naval career.

Caroline had portrayed the school differently, of course, and spitefully implied that it was the least expensive she could discover that still held the acceptable ton for Hugh and Sewallis's entry into Society; that they could no longer count upon "their oft-absent, and indifferent Father" in his "meanness" to fund a better schooling.

Their new school was small, she'd written, but not too far away, in Guildford, and was run by a renowned and respected High Church rector and his equally virtuous wife, well recommended by the Reverend Good-acre.

"… at least your Sons will grow up in proper Fear of the Lord, under a strict Christian tutelage that imparts modest and humble Moral Behaviour, even if you were deprived of such, sir. Sewallis and Hugh, I vow, will never emulate you!"

And, to his greater sorrow, Caroline no longer thought that any purpose would be served by any correspondence from him, nor would they be allowed the distraction of writing back. His sons had greeted that edict with much wailing and weeping, she had confessed, but "… the least said, soonest mended,' and 'out of sight, out of mind.' I know that boys shed their Grief after a Season, unlike girls. After a time, the rigours of Education, the distractions of games and healthy sports would engross their interests, making your memory an eminence gris, one best left unseen and un-thought of. Hence, sir, sooner or later quite justly Forgotten, as all Ogres merit!"

Damn, but that felt so unfair! Right, so he'd strayed; rather like a rutting bull run from his pasture, admittedly, but… to turn his children against him, actively encourage their hatred, break their hearts and send them weeping and snuffling, just for spite and revenge, well… that was simply too much! Lewrie shook his head in sorrowful wonder that his sweet and gentle wife, who made such a "do" about the works of Christian charity and forgiveness, would go so far as to seem a Medea, who would slay her children to get her own back against that bootless Jason!

Poor little tykes, was his first thought; Wonder what this will cost me, was his second.

In comparison, the thick packet of letters from Theoni Connor, one for every week he'd been gone, were a drink oн cool water, ambrosia of the Olympian gods, rather than the gall and dirt that Caroline had offered up. Oh, they were so chatty, so informative about her doings, how her firstborn Michael was sprouting, and how much joy their son Alan James Connor provided her, now that he was toddling and beginning to babble almost comprehensible words! Scandals in Society (in which theirs didn't signify, thankee Jesus!), political rumours from supper parties among the powerful, notice of naval actions farther afield from his own bailiwick…

And firm, devoted, fond, and teasing Love!

Most especially, the non -judgmental kind of Love. To her lights he was still a Paragon, a Hero, her own True Blue Heart of Oak, one who could do no wrong, and "… though we may never dare show our Affection in Public, yet every night I clutch my pillows, proud to be your Amour, dear Alan, and sometimes find it hard to eschew a ringing Declaration of the fact of Us to one and all, and bedamned to their disapproval."

You just keep up that eschewing, old girl! Lewrie thought, with a groan or two for the consequences, squirming some more in his chair, groping at his crutch in remembered fever, and thinking that he should write her back, instanter, to warn her about that anonymous scribbler so eager to ruin his life. Sooner or later he could find a target for his bile closer to home, and heap calumny on her, as well.

But it was so hot and still, and he was so very tired and worn down to a nubbin by his cares, that any task involving anything more of him than slouching and brooding felt quite beyond him at the moment.

Faintly, he heard groans from up forrud and below on the mess-deck. There came a retching noise, a weak "Oh God, save me!" from one of the sick or dying, he knew not which, as one of the fevers caused a sailor to void his stomach.

There was nothing he could do to help them, he now realised in grim sorrow. Durant's citron-tar fumes would avail, or not, and only

God would decide-it was beyond him. All he could do was bide his time 'til the next death, the next drear funeral, the next grief.

He closed his eyes, lolled back his head, and tried to nap, to find at least a little mindless, temporary escape in unaware sleep.

N ow it was fourteen hands dead and buried.

Proteus still lay immobile from her best bower and stern kedge anchors, moored seemingly forever in a Slough of Despond, days after the ships of the line had departed to "summer" on the North American Station at Halifax; taking with them hundreds upon hundreds of whole, fit, and healthy sailors, their crews made up to full capacity or even beyond-sailors Lewrie would have happily killed for, just for some of them, the merest pittance of re-enforcement.