Radclyffe - Oath of Honor

felt like a first-timer. All hormones and insanity and hungry for more of

everything. She’d kept praying Wes would lean back into the cab and

kiss her good night. Yeah, right. Nuts. “Anyhow, that’s kind of what

this is about. This woman I’m not really involved with—not that way,

I mean.”

“I think I almost understand. You need to think about some

things.”

“Yeah—I’m sorry.”

“I know. Me too—but it’s okay. Really.” Louise pointed a wooden

spatula at the vegetables piled on the cutting board. “So—will you

stay?”“Yeah. I’m starved. And thanks.”

Louise put the utensils down, motioned Evyn closer, and kissed

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Evyn’s cheek. “You’re welcome. I like friends with benefits, but friends

without benefits is okay too.”

“That’s good to know. Thanks.” Evyn wasn’t sure what she’d just

done or why, but it felt right. It felt almost as good as the night she’d

spent with Wes, which felt more than right. And she had no idea what

to do about that.

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chapter twenty-five

You need plants,” Doris Masters said, standing with her hands

on her hips in the center of the small galley kitchen, surveying

the adjacent living area. She pointed to the bay windows overlooking

Nineteenth Street. “That window seat gets enough sunlight. A planter

or two right there—”

“Mom,” Wes said, “I kill plants.” Behind her, Denny snickered

and mumbled something about understatement.

Giving the impersonal apartment a 360-degree glance, Doris said,

“A cat would be good.”

“You have to feed cats,” Wes said.

Her mother pointed a finger at her. “That’s why your plants die.”

“Better plants than a cat,” Wes muttered. Her mother smiled, but

Wes could tell by the glint in her ocean-green eyes she wasn’t finished.

Looking a decade younger than her age, with the same green eyes and

brown hair shot through with burnished gold, she could have been

Wes’s older sister—and was sometimes mistaken for one of the sibs

when they were all out together. Wes hadn’t known Denny and her

mother were coming, but when they had shown up a few minutes after

the delivery truck brought her belongings from Maryland, she’d been

glad for more than the help. Their bright, sure love helped chase away

the shadows that plagued her. She’d slept poorly since the night she’d

spent with Evyn. The hotel bed was big and empty and cold, and every

morning she awoke lonely. She went through the days, splitting her

time between exercises with PPD and clinic duties, with an empty ache

inside. Evyn was friendly but reserved, and Wes didn’t think it was an

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accident they hadn’t been alone together since their return from Kitty

Hawk. Evyn was avoiding her.

“Wesley,” her mother said, “this isn’t a temporary billet. You’re

going to live here for the next few years, and it shouldn’t look like a

hotel room.”

Denny finally cut in and saved her. “Mama, give her a break. She

didn’t invite us down here to help, after all, and—”

“Mother’s prerogative.” Doris perched on the wooden arm of the

tan canvas sofa. “We’ll miss you at Christmas.”

Wes sat next to her mother and took her hand. “I know, I’m sorry.

I’d be there if I could.”

“We’ll miss you,” her mother repeated, “and we’re so very proud

of you. Your other sisters wanted to be sure you knew that.”

“I know. I love you. All of you.”

Denny flopped down beside her and bumped her knee against

Wes’s. “So—on the personal front—”

Wes groaned. “Come on, Denny. Don’t start.”

Doris stroked the back of Wes’s head and feathered the locks along

the back of her neck, as if she were still ten. “There’s more to life than

work, Wesley.”

“And there’s lots of life ahead, Mom. I’m fine. Just really busy

right now.”

“Yeah,” Denny said softly, “but are you happy?”

Wes hadn’t expected the question and hesitated before she

answered. Getting the third degree from her family about her personal

life wasn’t unusual, but after she shrugged off their good-natured

queries with some standard answer, the conversation usually moved on.

This time, the questions felt different, or maybe she was the one who

was different. She didn’t have a pat response, and the old explanations

rang false, even to her. “I don’t know. I’ve never given it much thought.

My work makes me happy—”

“Satisfaction isn’t happiness,” Doris said.

“No, maybe not,” Wes said, “but it’s always been enough.”

“Things change, you know,” Denny said. “Don’t miss the chance

for more than satisfaction if it comes along.”

“Okay, enough. Message received.” Wes squeezed Denny’s hand,

kissed her mother’s cheek, and stood. “You’ve got a two-hour drive and

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I’ve got a ton of things to do.” At her mother’s frown she added quickly,

“And I promised Emory I’d go out with her and Dana tonight. So I do

have a social life, you know.”

“Are you taking a date?” Denny asked, an eager glint in her eyes.

Wes instantly thought of Evyn. Like every time she thought of

her, the memory of Evyn pressed close in the night flooded through her.

Pleasure warred with pain, and she schooled her face to remain neutral.

“No.”“Huh. What aren’t you telling us?” Denny narrowed her eyes.

“Nothing. I’m just getting together with some friends.”

“Let her be, Denny,” Doris said.

Her mother studied Wes with that laser-beam look that made Wes

think her mother could see inside her head. Considering all she could

see was Evyn naked—moving under her, rising above her, crying out as

she came—she slammed the mental door as quickly as she could. Some

things her mother definitely did not need to know.

“She’ll tell us when she’s ready.” Doris rose and gathered her

things. “She always does.” She kissed Wes on the cheek. “You’ve

always done more than you were asked, and you’ve always been asked

a great deal. They couldn’t have chosen anyone better. We love you.”

“Thanks,” Wes said, her throat tight as she hugged her mother and

sister good-bye. “I love you all too. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

She had a couple of hours before she was due to meet Emory and

Dana at the Black Fox. She would have canceled, but she knew Emory

would hound her for her reasons. And what could she say? She was

beat after a lousy night’s sleep when she couldn’t stop thinking about

a woman who disordered her orderly world—a woman she’d be much

better off not thinking about at all? No. She’d go out with her best

friend and her lover and do her damnedest to put her night with Evyn

in the past.

She headed to the House. Work might not be everything, but it was

everything she’d always had. Work had always defined her—her goals,

her sense of self, her pleasure, and often her pain. There was comfort in

the familiar, and as her family drove out of the city and the loneliness

seeped back and lay heavy in her throat, she needed a little comfort.

v

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The door opened behind Evyn and she didn’t bother to turn around,

saying to Gary, “You’re early.”

“For what?” Wes said.

Evyn jerked and twisted in her seat. She hadn’t expected to see

her—they didn’t have anything scheduled. Just the night before, she’d

submitted her report to Tom. The long and short of her assessment was

that Wes was not just qualified, she was an excellent choice to head the

WHMU from an operational standpoint. She worked well with a team,

didn’t buck the chain of command, and knew when to take charge when

medical issues demanded. She didn’t have an excuse to spend extra

time with Wes any longer. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

Wes, in dark trousers and a pale blue shirt open at the throat, stood

just inside the door, looking better than Evyn remembered, and she’d

been remembering a lot. The instant her eyes had opened that morning,

like most every morning, she’d thought of Wes. Wondered what Wes’s

day would be like, if she’d moved yet—if she needed help. If she’d

call. And in her next breath, she’d remembered how she’d lain in the

dark torturing herself—rekindling the fire Wes’s hands had ignited in

her belly, savoring the slow buildup while replaying the sound of Wes’s

murmurs in her ear, her low moans, the quick gasp as she orgasmed.

She’d fallen asleep on the crest of her own orgasm with the memory

of Wes’s mouth moving over her skin, so knowing and so sure. She’d

awakened ready for another and would have indulged again if her cell

phone hadn’t vibrated with a message from base advising her she was

needed to fill in because POTUS had decided to go OTR. At the sight

of Wes, the low-level arousal that she had lived with all day, every day,

leaped to life. She worked on sounding casual. “Did you get moved?”

“Just this morning.” Wes headed for the coffeepot, poured a cup,

and gestured with it toward Evyn. “Refill?”

“I’m good.”

Wes put the pot back and gathered herself. She hadn’t expected

to see Evyn, and the surge of pleasure at finding her there took her by

surprise. “I thought you were off today.”

Evyn shook her head with a wry grin. “POTUS decided to go

Christmas shopping.”

Wes rested against the counter and sipped her coffee.

“Something tells me that isn’t your most favorite thing.”

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“Unscheduled trips are about our least favorite. No advance

planning, lots of civilians, way too much exposure.” Evyn laughed.

“We like things to be orderly, controlled, planned out.”

“Sounds a lot like my life,” Wes said.

“Well, you know what happens when all that goes out the window,”

Evyn said softly.

Wes set her coffee aside. Evyn’s eyes were so dark, so deep, Wes

couldn’t look away. The pull on her body to move closer, to touch, was

nearly irresistible, and she gripped the counter to keep herself in place.

“Dangerous.”

“And scary.”

Wes had been scared plenty in her life—scared of what would

happen to her family when her father died, scared of what would happen

if she didn’t get a scholarship, scared of who might pay if she failed to

do her job in the classroom or the field. She’d countered that fear by

working harder and longer until she was absolutely certain the outcome

was in her control. She didn’t leave room for failure. “Sometimes being

scared forces us to be stronger—better.”

“Oh, no question. Nothing like a challenge to make us dig deep,

find out what we’ve really got.”

“And who we really are?” Until recently, Wes had known who she