Radclyffe - Honor Under Siege

being sensitive to every nuance of expression and movement. It seems

Ive spent my life watching, but never living.

Diane took Valeries hand and drew it to her breast. “Im alive and Im

very real. So is my love for you.

“Why? Valerie murmured, cradling Dianes breast and brushing her lips

over the nipple. “I cant imagine this is what you want.

“This? You mean being with

you?

“Everything that being with me means. Valerie sighed and rested her

cheek between Dianes breasts, stil softly caressing her nipple.

“Your phone cal . That was the person you report to,

right?

“Yes.

“Youre going to meet with

him.

“Yes.

“You lied to him, about not trusting someone here. Cam, I

guess.

“Yes, I lied to him, Valerie said, holding

very stil .

“Did he believe

you?

“I dont know. Probably not. One of the basic rules of our training is not

to trust what people say, or sometimes even what they do, until theyve

proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that theyre trustworthy.

“The two of you have known each other for a long time. Doesnt that

count?

Valerie gently kissed the curve of Dianes breast. “Youd think it would,

wouldnt you? But it real y doesnt. Its possible that he was tel ing

me the truth at the beginning, and somewhere along the line his

priorities or his orders changed. Its nearly impossible to tel .

“But you dont trust him any longer, do

you?

“No,

Valerie

said.

“Do you trust

me?

Valerie kissed Dianes throat, then her mouth. “Yes.

Completely.

“Wil you tel me what youre going to

do?

Valerie hesitated and the silence that closed in around them was more

frightening than anything shed ever known. “When I know, Il tel you.

“Thank

you.

“I know Im asking a lot of you,

but

“I have no idea why people fal in love, Diane said. “Or why we need to.

But I do know this about youyoure strong but youre lonely, and you

can survive without love, but you long for it. You need me, and I need

you. None of the rest matters.

“Youre the only person Ive ever let myself truly need, Valerie said

so softly

Diane could barely hear her. “If I lost you

now

“Im not going anywhere, I promise. Diane lifted Valeries face

between her hands and kissed her, softly at first, then more deeply. She

guided Valerie on top of her until their legs entwined and their bodies

melded. Her kisses grew

insistent as she urged Valeries hips to move with hers, cal ing to her

without words, marrying their bodies and hearts with the force of her

passion and desire.

“I love you, Valerie

murmured.

Dianes breath quickened as Valerie groaned and thrust harder. Wanting

more, wanting everything, Diane twisted onto her side and forced

Valerie onto her back. Stil kissing her, Diane cupped Valeries sex

and found her already wet and open. With a soft groan she pushed

inside her, rejoicing silently as Valerie arched and cried out in pleasure

and surprise.

“Oh yes, thats howthereI need you hard, please, harder, Valerie gasped.

Distantly, Diane was aware of her own building arousal, but al she

wanted was

to have Valerie with nothing between themno secrets, no fears, no

regrets. “I

love being inside you. I love feeling your heartbeat under my fingertips. I

love to

please

you.

With every word Diane thrust a lit le harder. Her teeth skated over

Valeries neck, and when Valerie tightened around her fingers, she

sucked on the delicate skin of her throat.

“Oh my God, Valerie moaned, pushing against Dianes hand. “Im

coming. Oh

God, its so

good.

Diane closed her eyes tightly, concentrating on Valeries labored

breathing, her soft cries, the pounding pulse that beat around her

fingers. She carried her smoothly to a peak, and then again, until

Valerie buried her face in Dianes neck and cried silent tears. Diane

rocked her and caressed her face.

“Its al right, darling. Everything is just exactly as it

should be.

“Im not used to anyone touching me that way, Valerie whispered.

“Sorry, I

cantmy

control

Diane laughed. “Oh, I hope youre not apologizing. Youre beautiful

when you come. I never want to stop making love to you.

Valerie laughed weakly. “Thats one thing Il never

ask.

* * * * *

When Cam walked into the kitchen at 5 a.m., she found Valerie seated

at the table, her hands inert around a mug of cof ee. “Youre up early.

Cam helped herself from the fresh pot on the counter. “Whats on your

mind?

“Henry cal ed.

“Are you ready?

“More than

ready.

“But? Cam watched a litany of emotions flit across her face. Anger,

unease, resolve.

“I know things are going to move quickly once we start planning the

operation, Valerie said. “So I wanted to talk to you before the briefing,

What I am going to say is just between you and me.

“Im listening. Cam could guess what was coming. Valerie was used to

working alone, being alone. She had never learned to lean on

othersso like Blair that way.

“If something goes wrong, we both know its very unlikely youl be

able to extract me, Valerie continued. “I dont want you to try. Col ateral

damage would be high, and She glanced down at her hands, which shed

folded on the tabletop, and then into Cams eyes, “My life isnt worth

yours or one of the others.

A gasp cut across her words. “It is to me. Diane stood in the doorway.

“Damn

you, it is to

me!

“Diane! Valerie jumped to her feet and caught Diane as she turned

to flee. “Diane, wait, you dont understand

Diane whirled back, her cheeks pale and her eyes blazing. She

knocked Valeries hands away. “What do I not understand? I just heard

you tel Cam she should let you die rather than risk someone elses life.

Every single one of them risks their life every day protecting Blair. Is

she so much more important She broke of and covered her face with

her hands. “Oh God, I cant believe Im saying this.

“Thats enough, Cam said steadily, rising to her feet. “No one is going

to die. And no one , she said, her eyes fixed on Valerie, “is going to

be left behind. Thats the last conversation I intend to have about this.

She pointed to the clock. “We have a briefing in twenty minutes and

we have a lot of planning to do. I expect you to be on time, Agent

Lawrence.

Cam walked out without waiting for an

answer.

“Im sorry, Diane whispered, turning away.

Valerie gently caught her shoulders and embraced her. “No,

Im sorry. Im sorry you had to hear that. I never should have

talked to Cam about this here.

“But youre not sorry for asking her to leave you behind, are you.

Ithought you said you loved me.

“Oh God, I do, Valerie said desperately. “But cant you see,

my whole life has been leading to this point, and I couldnt live

with myself if Cam or one of the others suffered for the mistakes

that I made.

Diane caressed Valeries cheek. “You dont get it, do you?

Loving someone means forgiving yourself for the past and

living for the present. And the future. We all have regrets,

darling.

“Ive always operated with the knowledge that my life

is expendable.

“Wel , it isnt anymore. Diane kissed her softly. “Please try not

to forget that.

Valerie took a deep breath. “All right. Id better go.

“You wont do anything without tel ing me, will you?

“No. Weve still got time.

“Of course we do, Diane said fervently. “Of course we

do.

* * * * *

“Yes? Matheson said when his phone rang.

“Weve arranged to meet.

Matheson smiled. “Run it down for

me.

He listened, making a few notes on a notepad with the

motels name and logo stamped at the top. After a moment he

said, “Nice work.

“Theres still a chance we could bring her over. And shes got

an inside channel to several targets.

“You might be right. Lets weigh the options.

* * * * *

“Okay, lets get started. Cam walked briskly to the table,

making eye contact with the agents already assembled. Stark

and Valerie sat side by side across from Felicia and Savard.

“Agent Lawrence, why dont you fill us in on your conversation

with your handler.

If Valerie noted the formality, she didnt show it. “Henry and

I made contact at 0330 and spoke for less than five minutes.

We agreed to a rendezvous at 2300 tomorrow.

“That doesnt leave us a lot of time, Cam

commented.

“I realize that, but he initial y wanted to schedule the meet for

tonight, and it would not have been unusual for us to rendezvous with

such lit le lead time. Twenty-four hours was as much delay as I

thought I could manage without rousing his suspicions.

“Wel work with it, Cam said.

“Location?

“The extraction point we used when I left the island the

last time.

“The beach here? Stark said sharply. “No way. Were not let ing hostiles

onto the island while Egret is on site.

“Im sorry, I wasnt clear, Valerie said quickly. “Not on the beach, but

where the extraction vessel was anchored.

“On the water, Savard said, making it a statement. “Youre going to meet

him at sea.

“Yes. Il take my boat and wel rendezvous approximately a

mile out.

“So he knows youre at Whitley Point, Felicia

said.

“He does. He asked if I had contacted Cameron. I said I had and

confirmed my location when he asked. She glanced briefly at Cam. “I

had to assume that he already knew. A lot of smal planes pass over

here every day, and he could easily have aerial surveil ance photos. If

he knows Im here, or that you are, I didnt want to be caught lying to

him.

“Whose idea was it to rendezvous at sea? Cam

asked.

“His.

“Its a trap, Felicia said. “He can sink you out there and make it

look like weather or a mechanical problem.

Valerie shook her head. “Not before he meets with me. I told him I didnt

trust Cameron. Hel want al the intel igence he can gather on

Camerons operation before he burns his connection with me.

“Smart, Cam observed. “Hel want to talk to you. Hel want to know

what we might suspect about him or Matheson.

“Thats what I think, yes, Valerie said. “That would be typical for this

kind of situation. A brief verbal information exchange.

“What about put ing me below deck on Valeries boat, Commander?

Savard asked.

Cam shook her head. “Hes going to

search.

“Can you at least get him onto your boat? Savard asked Valerie. “We

can rig cameras and microphones to monitor you there, but if you have

to board his, wel be lucky to get audio.

“Wil he search you for a mic? Felicia

asked.

Valerie shrugged. “I dont know. He never has before, but the

rules have

obviously

changed.

Cam held up her hand. “We cant depend on him coming aboard Valeries

vessel. Wel need long-range satel ite tracking. Mac can coordinate that

from here. She looked at Stark. “Youl need to pul people from Tanners