Dodie Smith - I Capture the Castle

Neil's things. I guessed she had dared him to.

I must say I was astonished at him--it seemed so undignified, using

Father's shaving tackle and my little enamel basin. (but then, the

dignified, stately Simon seems to have vanished with the beard-I find it hard to believe now that I was ever even a little bit in awe of

him;

not that I think the change is merely due to the beard having gone, it is far more due to his being so much in love with Rose.) When I went

into the kitchen, Neil was standing so close to the fire that his

bathing-shorts were steaming.

"Why, I thought you'd forgotten me," he said, turning to smile at me.

"Isn't it splendid ?" I cried.

"Rose and Simon are engaged."

His smile went like an electric light switched of.

I said: "You don't look exactly pleased."

"Pleased!" For a second he just stood glaring; then he grabbed the towel.

"Clear out and let me get dressed," he said--in a very rude tone of voice indeed.

I dumped his clothes down and turned to go, then changed my mind.

"Neil--please-was I tried to sound very friendly and reasonable.

"Why do you hate Rose so his You have from the beginning."

He went on drying his shoulders.

"No, I haven't. I liked her a lot at first."

"But not now? Why not, Neil?"

He stopped drying himself and looked me full in the face.

"Because she's a gold-digger. And you know it, Cassandra."

"I do not," I said, indignantly.

"How dare you say a thing like that?"

"Can you honestly tell me she isn't marrying Simon for his money ?"

"OF course I can!" I said it with the utmost conviction- and really believed it for that second. Then I felt my face go scarlet because,

well "You darned little liar," said Neil.

"And I thought you were such a nice honest kid! Did you take me

swimming deliberately?"

I was suddenly angry on my own account as well as Rose's.

"Yes, I did," I cried.

"And I'm glad I did. Rose told me you'd interfere if you could--just because you want Simon to go back to America with you! You mind your

own business, Neil Cotton!"

"Get the hell out of here!" he roared, looking so furious that I thought he was going to hit me. I went up the kitchen stairs like a

streak, but paused on the top step and spoke with dignity:

"I'd advise you to pull yourself together before you see Simon."

Then I whisked inside and bolted the door--I wouldn't have put it past him to have come after me.

One good thing about feeling so angry was that it had made me much

warmer, but I was glad to get out of my wet bathing-suit and dry myself on Topaz's bedspread. I was just finishing dressing in Buffer when I

heard the Belmotte party coming across the courtyard.

Simon, next door, said: "Let's go and tell them, Rose." So I ran in and we all went down together.

We met the others in the hall. Mrs. Cotton was close to the little

lamp on the bracket so I could see her expression clearly. She looked astonished enough when she saw Simon's beard was gone and got as far as

"Simon I" Then he interrupted, "Rose is going to marry me," and her mouth just fell open. I was almost sure she was dismayed as well as

surprised--but only for a second; then she seemed perfectly delighted.

She kissed Rose and Simon--and thanked her for getting him to shave.

She kissed Topaz and me-- I thought she was going to kiss Father! And she talked-- I once wrote that her talk was like a wall; this time it was more like battleship with all guns blazing. But she was very,

very kind; and the more one knows her, the more one likes her.

In the middle of the congratulations Neil came in-I was glad to see his dress shirt had got pretty crumpled while I lugged it about. No one

would have guessed that he had lost his temper only a few minutes

before. He said:

"Congratulations, Simon--I see the beard has gone! Rose dear, I'm sure you know all that I'm wishing you."

I must say I thought that was rather neat; but it didn't seem to strike Rose as having any double meaning. She smiled and thanked him very

nicely, then went on listening to Mrs.

Cotton.

The Vicar said he had some champagne in his cellar and Neil offered to drive to the vicarage for it--and actually had the nerve to ask me to go with him. I refused just as coldly as I could without making it

conspicuous.

But later on, when we were all standing talking in the courtyard before the Cottons went out to their car, he walked me away from the others so firmly that I let myself go with him. He took me as far as the big bed of stocks by the moat; then said:

"Make it up ?"

I said: "I don't think I'm keen to. You called me a liar."

"Suppose I apologize?"

"You mean you don't think I am one?"

"Won't you settle for a straightforward apology ?"

I felt in the circumstances that I would, but didn't see how I could

say so without its reflecting on Rose. So I didn't say anything.

Neil went on: "Suppose I add that I wouldn't blame you for lying--if you did his And that I admire you for defending Rose. You don't have

to say anything at all, but if you forgive me just squeeze my hand."

He slid his hand down from my elbow. I answered his squeeze.

He said, "Good"--then, in a more serious voice than I ever heard him use: "Cassandra, it isn't that I want him to come back to America with me, honest it isn't. Of course, I'd like it from a selfish point of

view--" "I oughn't to have said that," I broke in.

"It's my turn to apologize."

"Apology accepted." He squeezed my hand again, then let it go and sighed deeply.

"Oh, maybe I've got her all wrong--maybe she really has fallen for him.

Why not his Any girl in her senses would, I guess."

I guessed he guessed wrong about that--it seemed to me that lots of

girls wouldn't be attracted by Simon, in spite of his niceness;

and that most of them would be by Neil. The moonlight was shining on

his hair, which was drying curlier than ever.

I told him there was still a bit of duck-weed in it, and he laughed and said:

"That was a darned good swim anyhow." Then Mrs.

Cotton called:

"Come on, you two."

After we had seen them off, the night suddenly seemed very quiet.

I think we were all a little self-conscious. When we were back in the house Father said with a false kind of casualness: "Er -happy, Rose dear?"

"Yes, very," said Rose, with the utmost briskness, "but rather tired.

I'm going straight to bed."

"Let's all go," said Topaz.

"We shall wake Stephen if we wash the glasses tonight."

Stephen had been in quite a while--though I must say he had taken his time seeing Ivy home. I had asked him to come in and drink Rose's

health in the Vicar's champagne but he wouldn't. He smiled in the

most peculiar way when I told him about the engagement; then said, "Oh, well, I'm not saying anything," and went off to bed. Goodness knows what he meant.

I had a feeling that he had kissed Ivy.

I was longing to get Rose to talk, but I knew she wouldn't until the

trek to and from the bathroom was finished; and Father and Topaz seemed unusually slow about their washing.

When they were shut in their room at last, Rose made sure that both our doors were firmly closed; then jumped into bed and blew the candle

out.

"Well ?" I said, invitingly.

She began to talk fast, just above a whisper, telling me every thing.

It turned out I had been right in guessing that she dared Simon into

shaving.

"At first he thought I was joking," she said.

"Then he thought I was trying to make a fool of him and went all dignified. I didn't take any notice- I just had to see him without

that beard, Cassandra; I'd worked up a sort of horror about it. I went close to him and looked up and said: "you've got such a nice mouth -why hide it?"

and I traced the outline of his lips with my finger.

Then he tried to kiss me but I dodged and said: "No--not while you've got that beard," and he said: "Will you if I shave it ?"

I said: "I can't tell till it's off" -and then I ran and got Father's shaving things and Topaz's manicure scissors and a jug of hot water

from the bathroom. We were laughing all the time but there was a

queer, exciting feeling and I had to keep stopping him from kissing me.

He had an awful job with the shave and I suddenly went embarrassed and wished I'd never made him start. I could tell he was furious.

And heavens, he was a sight after he chopped off the long hair with the scissors! I bet I looked horrified because he shouted:

"Go away--go away! Stop watching me!" I went and sat on the window-seat and prayed--I mean I kept thinking "Please God, please God--"' without getting any further. It seemed ages before Simon dried his face and turned round. He said: "Now you know the worst," in a funny, rueful sort of voice; I could see he wasn't angry any more, he looked humble and touching, somehow--and so handsome! Don't you think he's handsome now, Cassandra?"

"Yes, very handsome. What happened next?"

"I said: "That's wonderful, Simon. I like you a thousand times better.

Thank you very, very much for doing it for me."

And then he asked me to marry him."

I didn't tell her I'd heard. I shouldn't like anyone to hear me being proposed to.

She went on: "Then--it was queer, really, because I'm sure I didn't hear you in the tower--I suddenly thought of you. I remembered your

saying I wouldn't know how I felt about him until I'd let him kiss me.

And you were right--oh, I knew that I liked him and admired him, but I still didn't know if I was in love. And there was my chance to find

out with the proposal safe in advance! So I asked him to kiss me. And it was wonderful--as wonderful as--" Her voice dwindled away. I

guessed she was re-living it and gave her a minute or so.

"Well, go on," I urged her at last, "as wonderful as what ?"

"Oh, as ever it could be. Heavens, I can't describe it! It was all right, anyway--I'm in love and I'm terribly happy. And I'm going to

make things splendid for you, too. You'll come and stay with us and

marry someone yourself. Perhaps you'll marry Neil."

"I thought you hated him."

"I don't hate anyone tonight. Oh, the relief -the relief of finding I'm in love with Simon!"

I said: "Supposing you hadn't found it, would you have refused him

?"

She was a long time before she answered, then her tone was defiant:

"No, I wouldn't. Just before he kissed me I said to myself:

"You'll marry him anyway, my girl." And do you know what made me say it his Beyond him, on the dressing table, I could see my towel I'd lent him for the shave- all thin and frayed and awful. Not one spare towel have we in this house--" "Don't I know it ?" I interrupted with feeling.

"I won't live like that. I won't, I won't!"

"Well, you'll be able to have all the towels you want now," said Miss Blossom's voice.

"Ever such congratulations, Rosie dear."

"And all the clothes I want," said Rose.

"I'm going to think about them until I fall asleep."

"Would you like the four-poster so that you can gloat in style?" I offered.

But she couldn't be bothered to change.

While I was lying awake re-swimming the moat I noticed my enamel jug

and basin silhouetted against the window; it was queer to think they

had played a part in Simon's shave.

I kept seeing him with two faces--with the beard and without. Then it came to me that there was some famous person who shaved because of a