DIANE DUANE - A Wizard Alone

Yeah, Kit said. I feel that way, too. I didn t sleep real well after I got in last night.

Late Nita said, going over to sit in the chair by his desk.

Yeah.

She waited a moment to let him tell her what he d been doing, but he just turned his head away and looked up at the ceiling again. He wasn t going to tell her. You have any luck with Darryl she said.

Not really.

Nita started feeling around for something sarcastic and angry to say to Kit, and then she stopped herself.He didn t push me when I didn t want to talk , she thought.I m not going to push him now .

But there s still something that needs saying. Kit, she said, about Darryl I m getting the feeling that you going after him the way you are isn t doing you any good.

Uh-huh.

Nita pursed her lips. That was the same uh-huh that she used onDairine , as code for the message, I am not listening to you. Bug off.

He doesn t mean to be rude. He just doesn t want to tell me what s on his mind, or hear what s on mine.

Did I sound like this He should have hit me on the head with something until I paid attention.

Nita let out a breath. Okay, she said, forget about it for now. But I have a message for you. You need to go see Carl.

That finally made Kit look at her again. Huh How come

Tom s out of town, Nita said. Some Advisory or Senior thing. Carl s handling his interventions for the next day or so. You owed Toma debrief on what s up with Darryl, and Carl wants to know where it is. Just between you and me, I think he s steamed. So if I were you, I d get over there and take your medicine.

I ve taken enough medicine for one weekend, Kit muttered.

After you got in late

Yeah.My pop didn t say much, but my mama did.

Tore a few strips off you, huh

It wasn t my fault,Neets , Kit said. The timing got blown, that s all. He sighed. But it doesn t really matter.

Nita looked at Kit with concern. That was a theme she d been singing too much herself lately, and Nita wasn t going to be indifferent to it when someone else started in on it.

They didn t ground you or anything

No. Anyway, they would have done thathow , exactly Kit said.

Nita had to smile, despite her worrying. It was extremely difficult to ground a wizard without the wizard s consent. Still, you had to live with your parents and rubbing their noses in the fact that they couldn t control you no matter how much they wanted towasn t a great way to make that life an easy one.

Kit sighed. Neets, I m sorry, I m just He trailed off. It wasn t that he was too tired to pursue the thought. It was just that he didn t care.

Okay, Nita said, and got up.At least he talked to me a little. It s possible he really is coming down with something Well, we ll see . Look call me when you feel better. There s stuff we have to discuss about Darryl.

Sure.

But go see Carl first.

Kit turned his attention to the ceiling again.

Nita gave him one last look as she turned away. As she did,Ponch glanced up at her. His eyes had been all for Kit until now, but the lookPonch gave her had even more concern in it than Nita was feeling.

Nita met the gaze, glanced fractionally at the door, and went out.

That could have turned into an argument, Nita thought,if he d had enough energy to bother. But he didn t . She passed through the living room, whereCarmela was curled up on the sofa, watching the TV, where models in frilly things pounded up and down acatwalk. Nita paused briefly, eyed the things the models were almost wearing.

Not for me, Carmela said, not taking her eyes off the screen. Drafty. How is he

He looks tired, Nita said. Anyway, tell your mama and pop I said hi.

Sure, no problem.

Nita got her coat and headed out the back door. She didn t shut it right away, because after about half a minute,Ponch came trotting out of the dining room and headed outside, past Nita.

She closed the door, brushed some stray snow off the back steps, and sat down.Ponch sat down next to her.

Ponch, Nita said in the Speech. What s with the boss

He s sad,Ponch said.But there s more to it than that .

Ponchlooked down the driveway toward the street.I m sad, too , he said.And I m afraid. Something s happening to him, and I don t know how to stop it .

Somewhere down the street, a dog began to howl in a high little voice, like something out of a cartoon.

It s about Darryl, isn t it

We were there again this morning.

Again I thought you went last night.

We did. I took him there. But the second time we went, he started to go by himself. I had to follow him.Ponch licked his nose nervously.It wasn t easy. Hewasn t going the way I go .

Was he dreaming

Yes.

Lucid dreaming, though The guided kind

No. He was worried. His dream took him there without him wanting to be there, at first. Then he couldn t get out. They were getting alike

Nita pondered this. Her ownnonlucid dreaming had brought her to Darryl, or Darryl to her, and those dreams hadn t been good, either. But this experience, at least asPonch described it, sounded slightly different. Ibet their minds are starting to get locked together because of all the time Kit s spending in there , Nita thought.This is not good

And reality doesn t feel terribly real to Darryl,Ponch said. Ithink it s starting to feel the same way to Kit .

That would make a nasty kind of sense, Nita said. Ponch, I don t think you should take him back in there for a while.At least not until he s feeling better. And when you go, I want to go with him.

I want you to do that, too.

Nita lifted her head, listening, realizing that the howling of dogs down the street had increased. Three or four more dogs had joined the first one. What s the matter with the dogs Nita said. Is someone using one of those silent whistles or something

No. I think it s because I m afraid,Ponch said. Ithink they hear me being that way, and they re upset for me .

But that s not all, is it, Nita said, looking thoughtfully atPonch . Something else is happening to you besides just being afraid for the boss. Isn t it

There was a long pause. Idon t know ,Ponch said. Idon t know what it means. I don t have the words. But I m frightened for me, too . He licked his nose again.

The howling down the street got a lot louder, and Nita suddenly foundherself thinking that it wouldn t be smart right now to press the question any further. She put an arm aroundPonch and roughed his fur up a little. We re both nervous about a lot of things, big guy, she said. 'I'll be glad when the boss is better. But listen. Right now, as soon as he gets up, Kit needs to go see Carl. He s not in the mood to listen to me right now. I know how that is. But he needs to go, anyway. Will you nag him Get him to go over there

I will.

That s my boy. She rubbedPonch behind the ears and pulled the door open for him. He went back into the house.

Nita shut the door and headed home. She was almost halfway there before, as she went over the conversation withPonch in her mind, she realized that at least oncePonch had answered a thought in her mind not something she d actually said out loud.

Nita shook her head, sighed, and walked in the direction of the neighborhood deli, to see if they had any bananas.

Entrapments

Kit and Carl were sitting together in Tom and Carl s dining room, later that afternoon.

Kit, Carl said, it s all very interesting what you ve told me. It throws a lot of light on Darryl's problem. I m going to look into this myself, as far as possible. In the meantime he frowned I want to know why it took you so long to get in here and tell Tom or me about this. We ve been working together on power-sensitive issues long enough that you ought to know better than to let a situation of this kind go for so long without a debrief.

I ve had the manual on record-and-report, Kit said.

Carl shook his head. Not good enough, he said. The manual, powerful as it is, is context-poor when reporting on experiences like this. Especially considering that what you ve been doing withPonch is uniqueas far as I can tell. For maximum effectiveness in assessing Darryl s status, I need to know how things looked and felt to youafter the fact, as well as during it. So you d better start getting serious about this, Kit. It s not like you to let things slide.

Okay, Kit said.

Carl looked at him with an expression that suggested he was expecting to hear something else. At last he said, Which brings me to the next thing on the list. The Powers certainly don t expect you to work on a project so hard that you neglect your own well-being. Neither doI . You look terrible; you ve been spending too much time chasing around outside of your home space, and it s affecting you. I appreciate your efforts, believe me but I want you to take a couple of days off.

But

Nobuts, Carl said.

Now it was Kit s turn to frown. Possibly Carl read the expression as rebelliousness. Kit, he said, as aSenior , it s not beyond my abilities to put a freeze on your wizardly exertions for the next day or three. I would prefer not to have to do that: It s undignified for both of us, and it also sends a signal to the Powers that there might be a problem with the way you re using the Art. I would much prefer to hear you tell me that you won t do any further exploration of Darryl s inner worlds until Tom and I have had some time to work out what seems to be the best way to proceed. This may sound cruel to you, but he s been holding his own for the past three months, at least; I would guess he ll hang on for a day or two more. You, on the other hand, need to leave his problem with me for the next couple of days.

Kit let out a long breath. So, Carl said, do I have your word

Mmf, Kit said.

Carl gave him an exasperated look. Even amongnonwizards , Carl said, it s considered impolite to grunt.

I promise, Kit said.

Good, Carl said. Thanks. He relaxed a little. Kit, go home, get some rest. It s not that you did a bad job it s just that you got a little too wrapped up in this one. Take two days or so and get your objectivity back. Then you and Tom and I will sit down and work out what to do next. And he saw Kit out the sliding doors into the backyard.

Kit used his transport wizardry to get home,then walked slowly down the driveway to the side door, withPonch trotting along behind him. He was feeling rather bruised. But to a certain extent, bizarrely, part of him felt grateful. Carl s very understated annoyance had shaken Kit a little way out of the feeling that had been creeping up on him that nothing particularly mattered. However, that was the only good thing about it. Kit felt very much as if he were in disgrace.

You look sad,Ponch said.

I don t know, Kit said. I think I m just tired. Even as he said it, though, Kit wondered how true this was. Ever since he woke up from his jungle dream,he had been moving through a world that seemed oddly dulled around the edges. The daylight seemed to be reaching him through some kind of filter; sound seemed distant, and he didn t even seem able to feel his clothes properly they seemed to bother his skin where they rested on it. The feeling was like what he got sometimes when he was coming down with a cold.Maybe Mama was right

He went in the back door, took off his coat and hung it up, whilePonch trotted over to his dog food bowl and started to chow down on dry food. Kit s mama, in the kitchen in her nurse s pinks, looked up at him from the business of making a sandwich. How are you feeling, sweetie

Maybe a little better, Kit said, thinking that possibly this was true. Getting out in the air was nice. Where s Pop

He s lying down reading a book, waiting for the basketball game.