Teresa Southwick - The Bachelor's Baby

He shook his head. “It takes two.”

An undeniable fact. So she didn’t bother contradicting him. He laced his hands together and rested his elbows on well-muscled thighs encased in jeans. Wranglers, she remembered.

That’s part of what had set the course of events in motion. She had admired his boots, then wondered how he got those jeans over his boots. Then she’d put that wondering into words. The next thing she knew, he had taken her to his room to show her exactly how easy it was to pull those Wranglers over his boots. They had talked and laughed long into the night. Then he had turned those eyes and dimples loose on her, and she’d been a goner. It wasn’t his fault. He shouldn’t be stuck with the consequences. After all, Jason didn’t need anyone but her. And she would never let him down.

“You don’t owe me anything, Tucker. I’m not asking you to be involved in any way.”

He stood up. “Now hold on. Not so darn fast. You don’t spring this on a man, then say adios.”

“I’m the first to admit that I find security in rules, but I don’t think there are any for a situation like this. I don’t know what to do.”

“You might start by giving me time to take all this in.”

Nervously she looked at her watch again, wishing the baby would wake up. “Okay. You’re right.”

“It’s not every day a man finds out he’s a father.”

“And thank goodness for that. The world is overpopulated as it is.” She stood up and stuck her hands in the pockets of her shorts. “I’m sorry, Tucker. This has to be a shock, and I guess I’m not handling it very well. Let me make myself clear. I’m not asking you for anything. I don’t expect anything from you. I’m trying to make this as easy for you as I can.”

Brave words for a woman in her situation.

“There’s no way to make it easy.”

“Sure there is. Just walk away,” she said, holding her hand toward the door.

“Is that what you want me to do?” he asked, irritated.

“Isn’t it what you want?”

“No. But I’m getting the feeling it’s what you want. You didn’t want me here in the first place. Now you’re trying awful damn hard to get rid of me. Why, Casey?”

She looked away for a moment. “My feelings could best be described as mixed. How about this— if you want to go, it’s okay with me. If you want to stay and see the baby, it’s okay with me.”

“I want to see him.”

Casey smiled. “Okay. I think I heard some noises from the nursery. Follow me.”

The thick beige carpet silenced their footsteps as they climbed the stairs to the nursery. Opening the first door on her right, Casey led him over to the white crib on the wall opposite the door. When she peeked in, Jason was on his back, big blue eyes staring up at her.

“Hi, big boy,” she crooned.

A big toothless grin greeted her as he kicked his legs and waved his arms. She felt Tucker behind her, looking over her right shoulder. His nearness sent shivers through her.

Tucker wrapped his hand around the rail and looked down at the baby. “I feel stupid asking this, but how old is he?”

“Three months. He just started rolling from his tummy to his back. Of course I think that’s because he’s the smartest, most well-developed child ever born. But every baby book I’ve read says he’s within normal range.”

“Is it all right with you if I pick him up?”

“Sure.”

He reached in, then stopped and looked at her. “I don’t know how.”

“It’s easy as falling off a horse,” she assured him.

“That’s not all that easy.”

She laughed. “Put your palm up under his back and neck to support him. Like this.” She took his wrist, shivering at the harnessed strength she felt. Ignoring her reaction, she placed his hand beneath the baby. “Put your other hand under his bottom and lift.”

He did as she directed and cradled the baby’s head in the crook of his elbow, while the rest of Jason’s chubby body trailed down his arm.

She slanted Tucker an approving look. “See? You can do it with one arm tied.behind your back.”

“I think I’d rather wrestle a steer.” When his uneasy expression faded slightly, he glanced at her. “He’s a sturdy little fella.”

“He’s not fat,” she said defensively.

Tucker looked at her and raised one brow. “Didn’t say he was.”

“Good. Because he’s not.”

So she was a little sensitive. The pediatrician had made her aware of fat cells and a person’s predisposition to putting on weight. Although, seeing the lean, rugged strength and height of Jason’s father, whom he resembled more than a little, she wasn’t nearly so worried. Although it occurred to her, and not for the first time, that she hardly knew anything about her son’s father.

The baby started to fuss and Tucker froze. “What do I do?”

“Unless you have breast milk, not a thing. It’s time for his feeding.”

“Do you want me to leave the room so you can have some privacy?” he asked.

She took the baby from his arms, wondering why he’d qualified that, as in “leave the room,” not the premises and her life. Jason started fussing louder, and she didn’t give it any more thought.

“You can stay if you want. I’ve gotten used to doing this discreetly.” She looked up at him as she sat in the rocker by the window. “Unless you’re embarrassed.”

“Me? Embarrassed? Heck no, doesn’t bother me at all,” he said, turning his back to her.

Casey grinned as she grabbed a receiving blanket and threw it over Jason and her shoulder, then pulled her T-shirt up and unhooked her nursing bra. Nestling Jason against her, she smiled when he latched on to her nipple with the strength of a vacuum. He started smacking loudly, and. Casey glanced at Tucker. He was still staring at the back of the condo building across the alley, as if a woman was stripteasing in the window. In the past three months she’d spent enough time rocking Jason in this spot to know for a fact the stucco was not that interesting.

“Really, Tucker. This is the most natural thing in the world. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I’m not.” But he didn’t turn around. “I’m sort of surprised that you’d nurse him.”

“Why?”

He raised his broad shoulders as he tucked his fingertips in his front pockets, pulling the denim a little tighter across his backside. She was just as glad he was embarrassed. From where she. sat, the view was pretty darn good.

“Most working women wouldn’t.”

Casey started at the words and tone. It pricked the knot of worry she carried around with her. Did he know about her present situation? That was silly. How could he?

“A lot of women have to work. That doesn’t mean they don’t want the best for their babies,” she said defensively.

He glanced over his shoulder, then quickly back out the window. “Yeah, but something tells me they’d frown on you doing that in between clients.”

“That’s true.” She sighed. “But I’ll manage when I go back.”

“Where would you be going back to?”

She glanced up at him sharply. There was definitely an odd note in his voice, as if he was setting a trap for her to walk into.

“My job at the firm—”

“Why are you trying to hide it from me?”

“I’m not trying to hide anything—”

“Come off it, Casey.”

Tucker was too tired to sort through his feelings about Casey and what kind of game she was playing. But a couple of things he knew for a fact. She hadn’t lied about Jason being his son. His instincts told him that even before he saw the unmistakable resemblance. But with that first look and touch, he’d known a wave of love and protection so fierce, so powerful, it had taken his breath away.

“How did you know?” she asked a note of accusation in her voice.

“That receptionist who gave me your address told me.

“I should have guessed. Actually it was sort of a mutual decision. Because of Jason I didn’t want to work the seventy-hour week they envisioned for a potential accounting partner. And they were concerned that motherhood would dilute the energy I could give the firm.” He heard the worry mixed with bravado in her voice.

“What are you going to do?” he asked. He turned away from the window and caught the tender way she was looking at the nursing baby. His flesh and blood— his son. The thought brought him more joy than he’d ever felt in his life.

“I’m looking for another job. I’ve filed for unemployment. I’ll be fine.”

Tucker watched her rock gently back and forth. Last night he’d thought she was more beautiful than she’d been the night he’d met her. Now he understood why. Motherhood suited her. But she seemed damned determined to deny him a chance at fatherhood.

That wasn’t going to happen.

He wasn’t sure why she was so resolved to do this on her own. But he knew for a fact he wouldn’t let her get away with it. Tucker had driven around a long time before knocking on her door. He’d had a lot of time to think. An idea had come to him, and the more he thought about it, the better it sounded to him.

“What if you can’t find a job? What happens when the money runs out?”

She sighed. “I’m an intelligent woman. I’ll find a way to take care of myself and my son.”

“You haven’t said anything about family. Is there someone who can help?”

“No.” The one curtly spoken word told him a lot about what she had gone through in the past year.

Anger, at her and himself, flowed through him. “You should have tried harder to find me.”

Her gaze snapped up to his. “It’s not your problem, Tucker.”

“The hell it’s not. He’s my son.”

The baby started squirming, and she raised him to her shoulder, then gently patted his back. “I understand how you feel. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much.”

Jason burped loudly and Tucker laughed. “With a little practice he could be a champion.”

Casey snorted. “I’m not sure it’s a skill that should be encouraged.” She settled him at her other breast and he nursed happily again.

“So what are your plans now?” Tucker asked. “Do you have any solid leads on a job?”

“One or two,” she answered vaguely.

“You don’t sound like a typical, enthusiastic career woman.”

“The one thing I hadn’t counted on was how hard it would be to leave my baby—” Her voice caught.

In two strides Tucker was beside her and down on one knee. “Casey, don’t.”

“Don’t what? Don’t leave him? Don’t nurse him? Don’t cry—”

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye. With her hands full of baby, she couldn’t discreetly brush it away. Tucker did.

“There’s no reason to cry,” he said.

“Oh, yeah? He’s my baby, and I’ll cry if I want to.”

“Okay. Go ahead.”

Another tear slipped down her cheek. “I don’t need your permission.”

“Of course not—”

“Don’t patronize me, Tucker. I hate crying. I despise being at the mercy of my hormones. And seeing you isn’t helping, either.”

He wasn’t exactly sure what she meant by that, but chose to believe she was feeling the same way he was. Disturbed by how strong his attraction still was even after a year.

“I’m just trying to help. I’ve got an idea—”

“I don’t need help. Especially from a man.” She sniffled. “Tucker, you’ve seen Jason. He’s happy, hearty, healthy—sturdy,” she said, meeting his gaze. “I’ve played by the rules. It’s time for you to go. Happy trails and all that.”