Carla Cassidy - Strangers When We Married

Physically, he looked the very same way he had when they’d said goodbye so long ago. But, something was different and when he saw her and stopped pacing, she realized exactly what was different. His eyes. They’d never looked haunted before.

“You’ve redecorated,” he said, indicating the round wooden table that had replaced the glass-top modern table they’d once owned.

“I needed a change.” She walked past him and opened the refrigerator. She took out the leftover tuna casserole and placed it in the oven to reheat. She didn’t intend to break her routine just because her ex-husband had shown up out of nowhere.

He paced for a moment longer, then threw himself into a chair at the table and thrummed his fingertips on the tabletop in an irritating rhythm.

Meghan got out a can of corn, opened it and placed it in a saucepan. Placing the pan on one of the stove burners, she looked at Seth. “I gave you five minutes. Two of those minutes have already passed.”

He swiped a hand through his hair, looking tense and distracted. “Did you hear about the sting in L.A.?”

“Bits and pieces,” she admitted. “You were there?”

He frowned. “It was my baby. I worked closely with Keshon Gray setting up the sting to get Simon.”

Meghan moved to sit across from him at the table. “But Simon got away.”

Seth nodded. His eyes glittered with hatred for the man who threatened the very foundation of SPEAR, a man they knew nothing about except that he went by the name of Simon. “Yeah, somehow the bastard slipped through. And he took something with him…seven hundred pounds of uncut heroin.”

Meghan sucked in a deep breath. “That much smack could finance a lot of trouble.”

“Exactly.” Again his hand raked through his hair, tumbling the thick long strands into boyish disarray. “That’s why I need your help. You can do magic on that computer of yours. You have access to information nobody else does. You can help me find Simon and those drugs.”

Suddenly Meghan realized that the moment she’d seen him sitting on her front porch, despite her desire to the contrary, a tiny flare of hope had lit. A hope that he wanted to see her, wanted to be a part of her life, of Kirk’s. For a brief few minutes she’d entertained the foolish idea that he needed her as a woman…but what he needed was her as a fellow SPEAR agent.

His words extinguished that tiny flame of hope, and she remembered all the reasons she’d cast him out of her life, out of Kirk’s.

“You know I can’t do that,” she replied curtly. “The kind of information you’d need is highly classified.”

“You have clearance,” he countered.

“Yes, but if anyone finds out what I’m doing, my clearance could be pulled or I could get fired.”

He grinned, that slow, easy smile that had once arrowed straight through her heart. “You’re too good to get caught. Besides, it isn’t like this would be the first time you’ve done something like this for me.”

She frowned and stared down at the table, knowing what he was talking about. When she’d first met Seth, he’d been assigned to a desk job at the “employment agency” while a leg wound he’d received healed. At that time, Meghan had used her computer and processing information skills to help locate Raymond Purly, the man who’d shot Seth. Raymond had been arrested and was now serving time for the sale of narcotics.

At that time, Meghan had worked beside Seth during the days, and shared a bed with him at night. Their lovemaking had been wild and wicked and wonderful, and Meghan had given him her heart, her soul, and every dream she’d ever nurtured for the future. And he’d taken her heart, her soul, and all of her dreams and shattered them.

“Meghan.” Her name was a soft plea falling from his lips, and he reached out and covered her hand with his. “You’re the only one I can trust and you’re the only one with the expertise to get what I need. Simon is a dangerous loose cannon, and since you’re also a SPEAR agent, he’s as much a threat to you as he is to anyone.”

Meghan yanked her hand from beneath his, hating the fact that even after all this time his touch still managed to stir something inside her.

She stood, and thought she might hate him…for coming to her at all, for needing her in all the wrong ways. She thought she might hate him most of all for reminding her of the threat Simon posed to the SPEAR agency.

“All right,” she said reluctantly. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll see what I can find out.”

“Great.” For the first time since he’d arrived, she saw a slight easing of his tension. “Oh, there’s one other small favor I have to ask you.”

She frowned irritably, not taken in by the seeming nonchalance of his voice. “What?” she asked flatly.

“I kind of went AWOL from the Condor Mountain Resort last night. You wouldn’t mind if I bunked here for a few days, would you?”

At that moment Kirk squalled from his bedroom, a plaintive cry of protest that mirrored the protest Meghan wanted to scream.

As Meghan left the kitchen, Seth drew a deep breath and sank down at the table. He hadn’t expected the sight of her to affect him, but it had.

The moment she’d gotten out of her car, her red curls bouncing and gleaming in the waning sunlight, his stomach muscles had knotted as memories assailed him. He’d always tangled his hands in her wildly curly hair as they’d made love, loving the way it felt so silky against his fingers.

She’d paled at the sight of him, her freckles appearing to grow darker against the alabaster of her skin. If anyone had told him years ago that at some point in his life an obsessive-compulsive, freckled, red-haired woman would drive him wild, he’d have laughed at them. But that’s exactly what had happened.

He and Meghan had shared a crazy, passionate weeklong courtship, then seven months of marriage before reality had intruded and they’d both realized they’d made a terrible mistake.

How many times had he watched those beautiful green eyes of hers darken with desire, light up with laughter, and then at the end of their relationship, cloud with tears?

He shoved back his chair and stood once again, too restless to sit and irritated with the damnable, unwanted memories.

She was a piece of his past and he wasn’t here to fix or change the choices they’d made, choices that had led to separate lives for each of them.

Pacing back and forth, he could hear the faint sounds of her talking to Kirk. His son. The boy’s little face had been hidden in the curve of Meghan’s neck when she’d first arrived.

As he heard Meghan returning to the kitchen, he found himself eager to see the child that he was almost ashamed to admit, until this moment, had been an abstract in his mind.

For the past fourteen months, since the day of Kirk’s birth, he’d consciously shoved thoughts of the child away. It had been the only way he could deal with the agreement he’d made with Meghan, the painful agreement to stay out of Kirk’s life.

Kirk entered the kitchen first, toddling a bit unsteadily. Automatically, Seth went down on one knee and opened his arms. Kirk stopped at the sight of him. His bottom lip trembled ominously then he turned back toward Meghan.

Meghan scooped him up in her arms and carried him to the nearby high chair where she buckled him in. Seth dropped his hands to his sides and stood once again, oddly disappointed that the little boy hadn’t run to his embrace.

You stupid dolt, he told himself. What did you expect? The kid has no idea who you are. Why would he come to you? He doesn’t know you’re his father. To him you’re nothing but a stranger. Nothing but a stranger…and if Meghan had her way, that’s what he’d remain.

“Seth, it’s just not a good idea for you to stay here,” Meghan said. She walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of wine. She held it up and he shook his head.

As she poured herself a glass, he focused his attention once again on his son.

Seth sat in the chair next to Kirk’s high chair. His son. He had his mother’s eyes. Brilliant green and at the moment they stared at Seth with both curiosity and wariness. He didn’t have Meghan’s hair. Kirk’s was straight and a dark, rich brown.

My hair, Seth thought, a thrill shooting through him. The child had his hair and his square chin. Kirk had his straight nose and dark brows, yet had Meghan’s full lips and cheekbones.

The little boy was an attractive combination of both mother and father and a swell of emotion shot through Seth as he continued to drink in the sight of the little features.

Father. The title rang in his head. I’m his father. For the first time the relationship struck Seth deep in his heart.

“Seth, did you hear me?”

Meghan’s voice, tense and with an irritated edge, broke through his reverie. “What?” He tore his gaze from Kirk and focused once again on Meghan.

She handed Kirk a cracker, then joined Seth at the table, her glass of wine in hand. “I said I don’t think it’s a good idea that you stay here.”

“You’re right. It probably isn’t a good idea,” he agreed, then hurriedly added, “but I’ve got no place else to go.”

Her eyes were cold, hard behind her wire-rimmed glasses. “Surely you can think of someplace else.”

“If I could, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now.” He leaned forward and was instantly able to smell her. It was a scent he’d never forgotten, the smell of exotic flowers and mysterious spices. For months after he’d left her, the fragrance had haunted him.

“I need to be someplace where nobody will find me. I need some time to pull myself together, to find Simon. Think about it, Meghan, with the way we parted, nobody would ever think of looking for me here.” He smiled dryly. “In fact, this is the last place on earth anyone would look for me.”

She frowned and took a sip of her wine. The hard glitter in her eyes had been replaced with uncertainty. She looked at Kirk, then back at Seth.

Seth pressed his case. “Please, Meghan. We’re just talking about a couple of days. It shouldn’t take you longer than that to find the information I need. I’ll sleep on the sofa. You won’t even know I’m here.”

Kirk banged on his tray, slobbery cracker crumbs decorating his chin. Meghan stared at her son for a long moment, then looked back at Seth. “Three days,” she finally said, then downed the last of her wine as if she needed the strength found in the bottom of the glass.

“Thanks,” he breathed in relief. He hadn’t realized just how important it was to him until this very moment.

“Don’t thank me,” she snapped. “Understand, Seth, nothing has changed. Our agreement still stands. I don’t want you in my life and I certainly don’t want you in Kirk’s life.”

She stood and placed her empty wine glass into the dishwasher.

At that moment the doorbell rang. She whirled around to look at him, her eyes widened in apprehension. “Maybe being here isn’t as safe as you thought,” she said. “Jonah has ears and eyes everywhere. Maybe they already know you’re here.”

“Maybe you should answer the door and see who it is,” he replied calmly.

He was certain that nobody knew he was here. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said the last place anyone from the agency would look for him was here with Meghan. Everyone knew the acrimony that had marked their divorce.

“Yoo-hoo.” The feminine voice rang out, followed by a rapid staccato of knocks. “Meghan, dear.”