Susan Dennard - A Darkness Strange and Lovely

He skittered to a halt, his body tensing. “Not sorry enough, El. Do you have any idea what you did to me? Blasting me with that electricity?”

“It was the only way!” I reached his side, clasping at his sleeve. “We needed all of our magic—”

“That wasn’t magic ,” he spat. “It was filthy. Unnatural—”

“And strong!” I clutched my hands to my chest. “You saw how many Dead Joseph stopped. We can’t do that with our spells.”

“No, perhaps not, but at least my spells won’t kill me.”

I flinched. “Kill you? What do you mean?”

“I told you electricity would kill me slowly—”

“I thought you were being dramatic.”

He gave a scathing laugh. “Being dramatic? Thank you, El. Thank you very much for seeing me as nothing more than a jester.” He pushed up his chin. “Electricity kills demons. It blasts away their soul like the Hell Hounds, but instead of all at once, it’s bit by bit. I hope you got a good look at what happened to that Marquis, because that is exactly what you did to me. You”—he jabbed his finger into my shoulder, pushing me back a step—“just withered away part of my soul. Part of my very being .

And for what ?”

“T-to stop the Dead—”

“I didn’t want to stop those Dead in the first place. We had time to get away—to leave .”

“But then the Dead would have overrun Paris!”

“So?” he snapped. “That was not my problem, Eleanor. It was your problem, and then you made it mine.” He leaned into me, his face scored with rage and pain. “You gave me no choice. You betrayed my trust.”

“I-I’m sorry.” I cowered back. “I truly am, Ollie. Please . . . what can I do to make it up to you?”

“Free me. Free me and get the hell away from me.”

“I-I do not know how—”

“Because you’re not training!” His roar blasted over me, and I shrank back farther. “You’re running around Paris with everyone but me! You seem more upset about that damned Marquis’s death than you do about hurting me. I really am nothing more than your tool!”

“I’ll start studying—I promise.”

“You’re bloody right you will, but don’t think it will be enough for me to forgive you.”

“Empress?” Daniel stepped into the hall, his hands in fists. “What’s goin’ on here?”

“Nothing,” Oliver snapped. And without another word, he went through the front doorway and stormed into the night.

Daniel looked at me, clearly expecting an explanation.

But I couldn’t speak. Guilt and shame coiled inside me. Only the blackest magic in the world could drain a person’s soul, yet I had done exactly the same thing with electricity. I had killed a part of

Oliver.

For several minutes, all I could do was stare silently at Daniel—and somehow he understood that staring was all I was capable of, for he did not speak. He simply waited for me to return to the moment.

And as time ticked past and the world slowly cleared before me, I began to see Daniel. To see how his lanky body slouched with his weight on one foot. How his face was streaked with dirt and sweat.

How his hair was dusted white and poking up in all directions. How his chest moved beneath his shirt —a shirt that used to be white but was now mottled gray. . . .

And above all, how beautiful he was—not just on the outside but on the inside as well. He knew me; he understood.

My mouth went dry. I took a step toward him. “Thank you.”

His brow creased. “For what?”

“For . . .” Two more steps, and I was in front of him. “For still caring, despite everything.”

“Caring? I didn’t do anything. I heard shouting from the other room and—”

“I mean, thank you for caring enough to save my life tonight. Twice.”

His eyes ran over my face. “You saved my life, Empress. And Joseph’s. I reckon that makes us even.”

“Even,” I murmured, not particularly aware of what I was saying. My eyes were stuck on Daniel’s throat. On the faint flutter of his pulse. It was . . . fascinating. It meant he was alive. We were both alive .

Without thinking, I rolled onto my tiptoes and brushed my lips over that patch of skin, over his heartbeat.

He stiffened. I lurched back.

Heat flushed through me. “I-I am so sorry,” I tried to say, but my voice barely squeezed through my pinched throat.

And Daniel simply gaped at me, slack-jawed and frozen.

“I sh-shouldn’t have done that.” I skittered back several more steps, humiliation boiling inside me.

“Please—forgive me.”

Still he did not move, did not speak.

I retreated farther, wishing the front door were open so I could flee as far and as fast as my legs would go. Oh, why wasn’t Daniel saying something— anything ? And why was he staring at me like that?

I turned to go, my hand outstretched for the doorknob.

“Wait,” he breathed.

I paused, glancing back.

And in three long steps he reached me. Then, his hands trembling, he cupped the sides of my face, and I swear his chest was so still, he could not have been breathing.

I know I wasn’t.

He ran his thumbs along my cheeks, down my jaw, over my lips. And his eyes seemed to scour every inch of me. Then, ever so slowly, Daniel Sheridan lowered his head and grazed his lips over mine.

And I felt as if my heart might explode.

Yet despite that—despite the fragile perfection of his touch—it wasn’t enough for me. It could never be enough. He smelled of sweat and blood and gunpowder. Of caves and torchlight and everything we had been through.

I loved him, and I would not let him walk away—not this time. So before he could draw back or change his mind, I pushed forward and kissed him again. Hard.

A low groan broke from his mouth, and now I knew my heart exploded. My brain, my skin, my lips —everything burned with feverish need.

His hands dropped to my waist, pulling my whole body to his. And now he kissed me, determined at first and then almost desperate. No matter how many times we pressed our lips together, it was not enough.

Then came the nip of teeth, a flick of tongue, and my knees turned to jelly. I almost fell backward.

But he would never let me fall. He crushed me to him, his body hot through his clothes—hot through my clothes. Then he guided me backward and pressed me to the door.

And all I could think—all I could feel —was that I needed more. More of him, more of Daniel.

His stubble scratched my face raw. I did not care. I was too lost in the feel of his lips, of his tongue . . . of any feeling that proved we were alive .

His lips left mine, but before I could beg him to stay, his mouth was tracing along my neck, biting and possessive, and now it was my turn to groan. I could barely breathe, my heart hammered too hard against my lungs, and I certainly could not see straight.

But the moment couldn’t last forever. Always, the real world had to interfere.

A weak voice called out. “Daniel? Eleanor?”

Daniel and I paused. Our hearts drummed and our breathing rasped—so loudly, I almost thought I had imagined that voice.

But the voice called again. “Daniel?” It was Joseph, and at that realization, Daniel and I staggered apart.

“Is all well?” Joseph called.

“Yes,” Daniel croaked, scrubbing a hand over his face. He blinked quickly, as if trying to grab a hold of who he was, where we were, and what had just happened. . . . He looked as completely lost as I felt.

“We’re . . . we’re coming,” he said, his head swinging toward the sitting room.

“Just a moment,” I chimed, forcing my legs to walk, to step away from Daniel. I knew that now was not the time for love, but that did not change how much my body wanted it to be the time. Did not change how much my pulse pounded in my stomach, painful and confused . . . and unfulfilled.

“Wait.” Daniel reached for me.

“No.” I slipped away from him, and a bitter laugh broke through my lips. It never seemed to be the time for Daniel and me.

I glanced back at him. “Joseph needs us, remember? He’s hurt. Badly .” Without another look, I marched away from the door, away from Daniel, and away from everything we had just shared.

While Daniel tended Joseph’s wound, I wandered through Madame Marineaux’s sitting room, skirting the Marquis’s curtain-covered body. The memory from before tickled at my brain. It had to do with the cane. With something I was supposed to do . . .

Then my eyes landed on it. The low shelf from Madame Marineaux’s vision—and the Oriental fan on it. There was something glowing behind the flowered folds.

My breath hitched, and I dropped to the floor, sliding the fan aside to reveal the ivory fist. Now uncovered, the clenched fingers glowed as brightly as a magical well in my chest—and the artifact was mine. I could finally have it. Clearly Madame Marineaux wanted me to take it, for she had shown me where it was.

Ever so gently, I grasped it with both of my hands and held it up.

“What have you found?” Joseph rasped.

I flinched, my fingers closing around the ivory as fast as possible. “N-nothing,” I stammered, stuffing it into my pocket. I stood. “It’s just . . .” My gaze lit on a different shelf—a shelf with hair clasps—and something Madame Marineaux had said flittered through my mind.

We can get your friend, the Chinese girl, back from him.

“Daniel,” I said slowly, “when you followed that lead on Jie—to the train station—why did you think the trail had gone cold?”

“Because people saw a Chinese boy there with a young man. They both boarded a train.” He walked to me—though I couldn’t help but notice he stopped three feet away. The air between us practically shimmered.

I gulped, and he rammed his hands into his pockets. “I don’t think,” he said gruffly, “that Jie would willingly get on the train if she’d been kidnapped.”

“No, but she would if she was compelled.” I held the hair clasp out to him. “Madame Marineaux said she could put her venom on anything—compel anyone to do as she wished.”

Daniel pulled back from the clasp—or perhaps he was pulling back from my hand. He nodded.

“Yeah, I reckon it’s possible she was under a spell, but then where was Jie going? And who was she with?”

“Marcus.” Joseph’s voice was barely above a whisper, yet the name seemed to roar through the room. “Jie was . . . with Marcus.”

The clasp fell from my fingers. I whipped my gaze to Joseph. “Wh-why would you say that?”

His finger lifted wearily, and he pointed at the portraits above the fireplace. “That is Marcus’s mother.”

“Claire?” I gaped at him, horror rising in my chest. “Claire LeJeunes—”

“Claire Duval ,” Joseph corrected. “And, trust me: I know what she looks like.”

I gripped the sides of my face. “I should have realized! Madame Marineaux showed me this portrait—she told me over and over how much I reminded her of Claire.”

“You could not have known,” Joseph murmured. He took a quick swig from Oliver’s flask and, wincing, said, “If anyone should have realized, it is I. The Marquis told me his sister lived in New

Orleans, yet the connection eluded me. I had no idea she was French aristocracy.”