Viktor Gitin - The Testing of a Wizard

Gelo starts to clean up the papers on the table. The Queen comes on stage. With her appearance Gelo bows and goes off stage.

FADRIUS– I’m glad to see you are in good health, my Queen.

QUEEN– What good health, Fadrius! The treasury is empty! Things are going from bad to worse!

FADRIUS– Does that reflect on your health?

QUEEN– Very much so! Because of everything I have a morbid migraine.

FADRIUS– You need to unravel and have a good time.

QUEEN– With what money?! It’s over half a year since the last time I thrown a ball. I haven’t ordered a new dress all week. I have nothing to wear into town.

FADRIUS– Your Majesty, you already have a beautiful wardrobe of dresses. There are three thousand three hundred and twenty-seven dazzling dresses, for all thinkable occasions.

QUEEN– What are you talking about! You think I should go about in old rags? How can you all be so cruel to your Queen!

FADRIUS– But of course not Your Majesty! We all love you. I’m just thinking that the kingdom can survive without new dresses and balls. What is more important is that, by my calculations this year we will have a drought. And a bad harvest would destroy our peasants.

QUEEN– Stop trying to scare me. You’re telling me that I might starve!

FADRIUS– Not you. But it will be hard for your subjects to survive the drought.

QUEEN– Well do something then, after all you’re a Wizard.

FADRIUS– I’m sorry Your Majesty, but there is nothing I can do.

QUEEN– Why? It is so easy. One magic spell and we will have good weather.

FADRIUS– The matter is, my Queen I have become too old. I do not possess the magic power that is needed to do anything…

QUEEN– Here we go, you’re upsetting me again! My migraine is coming back, shame on you!

FADRIUS– Your Majesty, I want you to know the truth. My powers are deteriorating.

QUEEN– I don’t want to hear that! You have to do something. I can’t lead this disgusting life anymore. I’m sick and tired of all the problems, which my ministers are throwing at me.

FADRIUS– But Your Majesty after the death of the King you are now the head of state, and you should rule the country.

QUEEN– It’s always done something, something, something… Why do I owe everyone something, and they don’t owe me anything?

FADRIUS– That’s the burden of power. A head of state is not only about the right to rule, but the responsibility for the country’s affairs and all the people in it.

QUEEN– And who will take care of me?!

FADRIUS– Us, your beloved servants.

QUEEN– I don’t feel it! All that I see is your desire to upset me more and more each day.

FADRIUS– (Disheartened) Your Majesty, just today I was going to tell you all about my new plan. It is possible; if it succeeds it will solve all our problems.

QUEEN– And I will be able to throw a dazzling ball at last?

FADRIUS– (Heavy sigh) Yes, I hope you will.

QUEEN– Fadrius! If your plan will not help me to find money to buy new outfits, then why do I need it? What’s the point?!

FADRIUS– There are more important things in the Kingdom than balls and new dresses.

QUEEN– Don’t talk such nonsense! I thought you were a smart Wizard. But I guess I was wrong about you.

FADRIUS– I won’t argue with you. But anyway, let me explain my plan.

QUEEN– Oh! How boring and frustrating this is… Ok, I’m listening.

FADRIUS– My dear Queen, I have been thinking for a very long time, what can help our Kingdom from the disastrous events, which preceded us after the Kings death. I wanted to find one solution to all the problems. For days and nights, I was restless trying to find the answer…

QUEEN– Fadrius, can you get to the point. I feel my migraine coming back.

FADRIUS– I think I have found the answer. The only thing that will help us is a MIRACLE. There is a mention of it in a very old magical manuscript. This MIRACLE is hidden very far away, near the edge of the earth.

QUEEN– What is this?

FADRIUS– It is a certain magical substance able to grant the wishes of the beholder. But unfortunately, only one wish is permitted.

QUEEN– (Disappointed) Only one! That’s a disgrace. I’ve already accumulated a thousand different wishes.

FADRIUS– That’s not the biggest problem my Queen. I think I will be able to create a formula that can grant all the thousand wishes you have. Especially since most of your wishes are not very varied or original.

QUEEN– If this is true, why haven’t you brought this MIRCALE to my palace?

FADRIUS– That’s my biggest problem. I cannot do this.

QUEEN– Here we go! You’re trying to upset me again.

FADRIUS– The problem is that my powers aren’t what they used to be. And not everyone can get to the place where the MIRCACLE is kept. But even if one can overcome all the hurdles and get there, there is still the problem to actually obtain it. The only one who can possess this MIRACLE is someone with a pure soul and elevated intentions.

QUEEN– Someone like me?

FADRIUS– (With light irony and sarcasm) I’m afraid neither you nor me will be suitable because we’re not young and innocent as we used to be. Our souls are not pure enough to possess this MIRACLE.

QUEEN– Nonsense! My soul is pure and untainted, like a child’s tears. Just because I helped my mother in-law to an early grave, surely that doesn’t mean that I’m a sinner? That’s how everyone acts. And it wasn’t my fault that my brother in-law walked into a cage with tigers; I just informed my husband that his brother was plotting against him. I don’t know why he thought it was a good idea to go into the cage with a hungry predator, when he was drunk. And after all I’m a woman! And women are forgiven for being mischievous. So, after all I’m aloud to be in control of this MIRACLE.

FADRIUS– I’m sorry Your Majesty but the Wizard’s law is very strict. If your soul wasn’t pure enough and your intentions weren’t elevated enough you could die just by touching it.

QUEEN– (Scared) Then I don’t need any miracles!

FADRIUS– That’s why I want to send my apprentice to get this MIRACLE. He is still young and pure enough. You saw him when you came in.

QUEEN– Oh, that nice young man. But what do we get out of it? If he gets the MIRACLE, then I won’t be able to use it?!

FADRIUS– He will obtain the MIRACLE so that he can pass the test in order to become a real Wizard. Gelo will bring the MIRACLE to the palace. And I with his help will formularies this MIRACLE. Only then will Gelo become a real Wizard.

QUEEN– And then I will be able to get new dresses and throw extravagant balls every week?

FADRIUS– (Looking at her with pity) I should think, much more than that.

QUEEN– You’re not as stupid as you make out to be, Fadrius! How crafty you are. You want someone else to get the MIRACLE for you. But remember the important thing is that all my wishes come true. Don’t waste the entire MIRACLE for the Kingdoms stupid affairs, so that nothing will be left for me.

FADRIUS– Don’t worry Your Majesty, If Gelo brings back the MIRACLE I will try to use it wisely.

QUEEN– Well then, call your apprentice. I personally want to see his departure.

Fadrius walks to the side and calls Gelo. Gelo walks in and humbly waits for further instructions.

FADRIUS– Gelo! You have a great privilege. I, as your teacher have chosen your test so that you can become a real Wizard. You’ll have a long and dangerous journey. There you will find a magical substance called the MIRACLE. With its help, one can achieve any magnificent magic.

GELO– (Excitedly) Even to make all of humanity happy?

FADRIUS– (Unhappy that he was interrupted) Perhaps, even that.

QUEEN– What nonsense! A good subject would want to make his Queen happy first.

FADRIUS– Your Majesty, that’s exactly what Gelo meant. (Talking to Gelo again) Here I have prepared instructions and extracts from old magical manuscripts. They will help you find the way and acquire the MIRACLE. (Gives him instructions and extracts) You must go straight away.

QUEEN– Yes, yes. I’m tired of waiting for my wishes to come true. I have too many of them. That’s why you should hurry.

GELO– Can I say goodbye to my fiancé?

FADRIUS– Your Majesty I think you would be magnanimous to let the young ones to have a kiss goodbye. In our Kingdom you never restricted anyone to love one another.

QUEEN– (Unhappy) You use my kindness so skillfully. Ok then – Say goodbye, but not too long. (Tired and coquettishly) Everybody knows how easy it is to get along with me. One just has to agree with me. Show me to my quarters, Fadrius.

Everybody walks off stage Fadrius and the Queen to one side and Gelo hurriedly goes to the other. There is a sound of a gong.

Music plays. Blackout.

Fadrius comes on stage. He turns over the hourglass symbolizing that some time has passed. Then sits at the table and shifts through some papers. Lizy takes the stage. Lizy appears shyly.

LIZY– Dear Wizard, can I ask you something.

FADRIUS– (Hides grin and pretends to be dissatisfied) I’m listening, Lizy. What’s the matter?

LIZY– Mr. Fadrius, It’s been a week since Gelo left. And I’m sick with worry! I don’t know what to do with myself…

FADRIUS– So what?! What do you want from me?

LIZY– Can you tell me in all honesty how dangerous his journey is?

FADRIUS– Very dangerous. I’m not even sure if he will be able to complete the task at hand.

LIZY– Then why did you send him on this horrific journey?!

FADRIUS– Well, Lizy it wasn’t me who sent him. He chose his own destiny. Gelo wants to become a real Wizard, a great Wizard. And because of this he will suffer many trials and tribulations. This is the first of many. And if you really do love him then you should know the truth.

LIZY– What truth?

FADRIUS– For example, every woman can achieve someone’s love, but that doesn’t mean that love will last forever.

LIZY– I don’t understand you…

FADRIUS– Just because a man tells his woman that he loves her, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he loves only her. For every intelligent, creative, energetic man his dedication and love for his work can be greater than his love for a woman. Not all women understand this. Some of these women are even stupid enough to be jealous of a man’s work. And in the end, they make themselves and their loved ones unhappy.