Nikolay Lakutin - Plays on the 5,6,7,8,9,10 people. Collection №4

Vika is sulking, silent.

JULIA: So what? Are you still sick or are we going to practice? Or do we go first to the doctor, and only then after exposure to training?

VIKA (sincerely indignant): I think you suspect me of something.

JULIA (playing along): What are you, my daughter, how could you think such a thing about me?.. I firmly believe that there are such coincidences in life. At least, no one has ever had it, but you have.

VIKA: I don't know what's going on. That's just like training, so this ache attacks. Straight twists all (shows how it turns), shivers, turns out. My throat aches, my nose squishes, my ear shoots, my knee crunches, my side aches.

JULIA: and the head?

VIKA: does it hurt!

YULIA: AND here (shows), under the ankle?

VIKA: Does it hurt!

YULIA: Left hand (raises her left hand)?

VIKA: Hangs like a whip (shows)!

JULIA: And of course my ass hurts… my

Daughter is thinking…

VIKA: Pop? No, there's nothing wrong with my butt, it doesn't hurt.

JULIA (in all seriousness): Does it hurt? Are you sure?

VIKA: Absolutely!

JULIA: so, now it will hurt!

Starts whipping her daughter with her purse on the soft spot.

They run around the stage, Vika tries to Dodge, screams, and her mother catches up with her, completing her aim.

The door of the office opens, and a stern doctor in a medical gown looks out.

THE doctor (in a rough, indignant voice): Can you keep it down? People work here! I can't hear what's going on in a person's lungs because of you! I can't even hear your breath, so scream.

The doctor slams the door behind him.

Mom, taking advantage of the opportunity, while the daughter was distracted a couple of times hits her purse on a known place.

Jeanne's moralizing, authoritative voice is heard behind the stage.

JEANNE (instructive): Vooot! That's right! Children need to be raised!

Jeanne goes on stage, leading the boy by the hand.

JEANNE: They must be kept in a tight grip from the very childhood, otherwise they will bloom, then it will be too late.

Jeanne goes to the study, opens the door, and looks in.

From the office, the doctor can be heard growling:

DOCTOR (furiously): Close the door, I'll call!

The son of Jeanne starts at such a furious cry.

The lady closes the door, looks skeptically around the corridor, stops her gaze on the mother with the child.

JEANNE (busily): Also in the fifth?

JULIA: Yes! I here is so, too, looked, so me inadequate called!

JEANNE (busily): Not adequate?

JULIA: Yes!

ZHANNA: This is still tolerable. Follow me!

Jeanne passes by like a hostess and sits down on the chair closest to the office.

JULIA (indignantly): Why on earth would that be? You came after me, but you're getting ahead of me?

Jeanne looks at Julia as if she's nothing.

Julia indignantly looks at the boorish visitor, turns to her child:

JULIA: Vikul, go while you draw over there, you see a table, chairs, pencils there some paper. Do something while we wait. I'll call you when it's time to go.

Vika leaves the stage.

Jeanne looks after the girl and turns to her son.

ZHANNA: Rudik, the girl you see went where? Follow her step March! Get busy, too, and your mother will call you.

Rudick goes behind the Vic.

Julia takes an empty chair and moves it closer to the door, she sits down on it.

JEANNE: what? The smartest one? I'm on the record, it's my time!

JULIA: I, by the way, also have an appointment for two-fifteen! You have how many?

JEANNE: At two-thirty!

Zhanna shows Yulia's wrist watch.

ZHANNA: can you tell the Time? How much does it show?

Julia looks at her watch.

JULIA: Well, two-thirty, so what?

JEANNE: AND then! My time, so I'll go! If you've spent your time crowing, it doesn't mean that The whole queue should get lost because of you!

JULIA: I haven't crowed anything! I came on time! It's just that when I got there, it was already occupied. Until now, there's a man sitting there, not coming out.

JEANNE (indifferently): Not my problem.

JULIA: I won't argue with you here. Now the man will come out, I'll go.

JEANNE (roughly): I'll go!

JULIA: BUT we'll see!

ZHANNA:

JULIA: let's see!

JEANNE: Let's see!

Nellie, the over – excited mother, rushes onto the stage. He pulls the girl's hand. Does not pay any attention to the people sitting at the office. He runs to the office, opens the door, and pushes his child in.

The DOCTOR (furiously): Close the door! I'm calling!

NELLY: I only ask!

JEANNE (indignantly): Eeeee, Eeeee!

Jeanne gets up and pulls Nellie out of the office by the scruff of her neck.

NELLIE: I just need to ask! What do you allow yourself!

JULIA: Everyone just needs to ask. In the queue – mom! Wait!

Nellie looks around, realizes that the trick failed.

NELLIE: Well… who am I going to follow?

JEANNE and JULIA (chorus): Follow her!

They point their fingers at each other.

NELLY: I don't understand!

(in chorus): I go first, she goes second, you go third!

Nellie pulls her face, gets a rough idea of what's going on in the queue, and decides not to get into trouble.

NELLIE: So, well, then you decide between yourself, I'm going anyway, it turns out, third. Marinochka (turning to her daughter), go over there with the kids, draw something for now, we won't get to the doctor soon.

Marina leaves after the children.

JEANNE (Julia): I'll go next!

JULIA: Just stick your head in!

JEANNE: What will you do?

Julia glares at Jeanne, then silently opens her purse, takes out a pepper spray, takes it expertly in her hand, and points it at Jeanne.

JEANNE: What is this? Pepper spray? What did you say the doctor called you?

Jeanne turns to Nellie.

Jeanne (calmly, as if nothing had happened): Follow me!

NELLIE (looking apprehensively at the can): Understood – understood.

In tears, Rudik runs to the stage, runs to his mother – Jeanne.

RUDIK: Mother, that girl took my pencil from me!

JEANNE: did you take the Pencil? It's a real bitch. What kind of girl are you talking about?

RUDICK: The one over there (pointing at the children) seems to have introduced herself as Vika.

Jeanne (rising from her chair): Vika? Well, I'll give it to her now. So, girls, Vicky, that red-breasted lapwing, whose daughter?

JULIA (aiming the spray at Joan): Well, my!

Jeanne (sits back in her chair): Good girl, pretty. You go easy on her, what's so child on the ass with a bag. The child loves affection. (Turns to his son) Go, Rudik, (shouts) go, draw, said! Take another pencil, there's a lot on the table over there. Don't swear at the girls (rudely) and don't tell me anything here.

He slaps Rudik's ass, and he runs off the stage back to the kids.

Jeanne smiles peaceably at the children.

He turns to Julia.

JEANNE: Children, what can you do? They were like that themselves.

JULIA: Well, Yes. (He turns to the children and shouts at his daughter.) Vika! Well, I returned the pencil to the boy and didn't want to take it back!

JEANNE: Come on, come on, what, let the girl draw. Good girl. It won't get any worse than mine.

Nellie languishes in anticipation, does not find a place for herself. He tries to squat down, lean against the wall, everything is uncomfortable, and finally gets up again.

NELLY: I didn't understand that there are only two chairs for the entire children's Department?

Why are you surprised? In our clinics, especially in state institutions… Thank you for putting up two chairs.

NELLIE: it's easy for You to talk, you're sitting down! I've been up since morning, and I haven't sat down for a minute. You know how much I want to land somewhere.

ZHANNA: there are no hopeless situations, (turns to Julia) isn't there a friend? If you want to land hard – land, the floor is large, there is a lot of space.

Nellie looks at her mothers with a puzzled expression and a disgusted appraisal of the floor.

NELLY: I was actually hoping that one of you would give me a seat. After all, you will be going soon, you will sit in the study for a while longer, and you have been sitting here for so long, and I will be here for a long time.

Julia: never mind, I'll go to the office soon, so you'll take my place. Sit down and relax. I don't see a problem here.

There is a roar from the children.

Julia jumps up from her seat.

JULIA: my God, Vika, how are you so unlucky…

Julia runs away to the children.

Nellie sneaks in and sits down in the empty chair.

NELLIE: Oooooooooo (stretches out her legs) how good it felt right away…

JEANNE: Yes… At such moments, you realize how little a person needs to be happy. I came home from the cold – and it's warm there. Happiness?

NELLIE: Well, Yes. Or when you run from the theater after a performance to the toilet and run first, while there is no queue yet. This is such happiness!!!

JEANNE: Oooh… Yes… However, this happiness is almost impossible. Almost always there is some trash that has time to rush forward.

NELLY: And not alone!

JEANNE: here! Which is quite a shame. And most importantly, you look, in men's clothes – so freely. They walk quietly back and forth, you look in while the door is open, and there are plenty of free places. So you envy the men, they generally have an easier life. And you have fifteen bodies ahead of you, and no one cares what's already gurgling in your ears. As you want, so get out…

NELLY: Yes, as you want? In our case, everything is as usual.

JEANNE: Here. You're a friend to the point. Every girl's middle name is patience. How much we have to suffer from them in life…

NELLIE: Oh, don't tell me. You have to suffer so much before you can get even a little warmth.

JEANNE: I have to. And what is interesting, every time on the same rake!

NELLIE: YES!

Laugh.

ZHANNA: but the conversation still started for happiness. So, when these "rakes" do not poison our lives, or at least do not poison us much, then this is also a great happiness. Isn't it?

NELLIE (after thinking it over, agrees): Happiness. But these "rakes" can not only poison life. That's when you're on a bus full of people and a man gives you a seat. This is also happiness!

JEANNE: OH, Yes, it is. Especially if there are several girls standing next to this man, and he gives way to you, this is generally ecstasy.

Laugh.

NELLIE: No, I would have split it up. When a man gives way, it is happiness. But when you see the fierce envious glances of other ladies that the place was given to you, that's ecstasy!

They both laugh.

Jeanne (holding out her hand like a man): Jeanne!

NELLY: Nelly! (holds out his hand in response).

Awkwardly shake hands, smile at each other.

Julia returns, sees that her place has been taken, puts her hands on her hips, looks at Nelly with displeasure.

JULIA: I'm having A lot of fun here. I've got a girl's forehead bruised, and they're grinning?

NELLIE: that's not what we're laughing about. We have a dispute about men.

JEANNE (corrects Nelly): About happiness!

Nellie looks at Jeanne and nods her head vaguely.

NELLY: About men and happiness. Where else to talk about this as in a children's clinic.

Nellie and Jeanne are laughing.

Julia shakes her head disapprovingly, with all the accumulated resentment goes to the office door, quickly pulls the handle.

JULIA (belligerently): So, how long can I sit there?

The door suddenly swings open and hits Yulia's forehead. Dina runs out of the office with a cheerful laugh, followed by a cheerful laughing woman doctor.