Serik Asylbekuly - Let off Steam, Kazakh-Style

Rysty.You know what? Fuck you!! Your ancestors would spin in their graves, if they heard it! Tell me! Where, at what times, in which country did truth and justice triumph and it was heaven on earth? I learned the story that you memorized at school too. The certificate of completion of secondary education is gathering dust in the chest – it’s no good. It’s all because of you and your stupid stubbornness!..

“Oh, baby, baby!” – how you honeyfuggled me, you were after me all the time. And I was like a bird that was mesmerized by a snake. I followed you, I didn’t dare to argue, start my own business, go my way. Poor me!.. And such great gentlemen were courting me, they were in love with me. It turns out that women are often stupid and naive, when we are young.

Komekbay.Are you serious?!

Rysty.Yes, I am!

Komekbay.Who was courting you? And who was in love with you?

Rysty.Why do you need this information?

Komekbay.We want to know as well. After all, we’ve been living together for twenty years.

Rysty.Come on, don’t mess me about!

Komekbay.By the way, have you just mentioned my ancestors? Have you turned them over in their graves? So blaming me wasn’t enough for you. And you got to my grandfathers. Tell me! What is their fault?

Rysty.The most direct.

Komekbay.And…

Rysty.And listen, carefully, if you ask! If they had walked with God, such a stubborn person like you, who likes newspapers and TV, a fucking dreamer wouldn’t have appeared in this sinful world. And then neither me, nor your five children wouldn’t wonder how to live on.

Komekbay.Did you say everything you wanted to say?

Rysty.Isn’t that enough for you?

Komekbay.Well then give me 700-800 tenge.

Rysty.Why do you need them?

Komekbay.I’m burning inside, because of the shame and sadness, in which you and Nietali have immersed me today. I’ll go to the store, buy vodka and drown my sorrow. I’ll let off steam.

Rysty.I don’t have a dime! How many months have passed since you stopped bringing home money? We’ve been barely surviving on children’s allowance for the past three months. And you see, this poor man wants to heal his grief and sorrow!.. But as far as I understand, your sorrow will never end! You just need a reason, you’re just dying to see this saleswoman, slut Zibash! If one day I see both of you having a good time together, I’ll tear all the hair out and shove it you know where! You’ll see, I’ll name and shame you! And then we’ll see, whether you have enough conscience to look people in the eye. I just can’t track you down, unfortunately.

Komekbay.Wow, what a twist! You believed in the evil gossip of foolish people, and now you are mad. Ollakhi-billakhi, believe me, me and Zibash have never had an affair!

Rysty.Believe?! You?!! Just look at this little angel! Believe me, he says! It turned out that you didn’t spend the night at home the day I went to the matchmaking to Zharykbas in Kyzylkayrat. So where did you sleep that night? I don’t even want to look at you, lustful goat!..

Komekbay.Who told you such nonsense?

Rysty.Who told me such nonsense? – you ask me! You are shameless! Does it really matter! Do you really think that everyone, apart from the two of you, is blinded around? Come on, go to your whore, pour out your heart. Put your head on her white thighs, shed your pathetic tears. Goat!..

Komekbay.Eeeh, easy, I don’t complain to any women!

Rysty.You can go and pour out your heart to whoever you want. Just don’t get drunk and come home in the middle of the night to drive me mad. Look at your senior children, one of them is a jigit already, the other is a young woman, we can give her in marriage. Shame on you!

Komekbay doesn’t know what and how to answer his God-given wife, so he jumps up. He stands completely clueless, then waves his hand in the heat of the moment, rips off his jacket from the coat rack, slams the door, gropes for shoes in the corridor, puts them on crushing their heels, and immediately goes to the store, which is located in the center of the aul.

Scene No. 2

Komekbay enters the grocery store. An attractive young woman stands at the counter. She’s all white, smooth, kempt. She greets him as an old acquaintance. She wears a white robe and snow-white, starched cap. This makes her look very elegantly.

Komekbay. (He approaches the counter and talks in a slightly dull voice). Salem*…

[*Salem means hello]

Zibash. (She smiles sincerely) Salem-salem!.. You seem to be in a bad mood. Perhaps, you got sick, didn’t you?

Komekbay.No… I just have a headache…

Zibash.Aaa, did you drink too much yesterday?

Komekbay.No, I wish I did…

Zibash. (She comes up to Komekbay, strokes his face with her beautiful, white fingers) Look at you, you have stubble. Bristly… Shave. Because you start to look like an old man.

Komekbay. (He livens up, recovers, glances at a large mirror hanging on the wall behind the store windows). Really?.. Like an old man?

Zibash.Just kidding. You are the sultan of jigits, just like Brad Pitt. You know, Zibash doesn’t eye up rustic men.

Komekbay.But still, actually, I’ll become an old man in ten or fifteen years, and then you’ll brush off me, won’t you?

Zibash.Even if you become an exhausted old man, I will still love only you. Because you are kind, you have a bright soul. You have something that only I can see, something that your stupid Rysty will never see.

Komekbay.Rakhmet*, my darling. Thanks God you live in this world. Otherwise…

[*Rakhmet means thanks]

Zibash.What would be otherwise?

Komekbay.Otherwise… there would be no reason to live for me. Sometimes you don’t even know why you exist in the world. On the whole, there is only infinite fuss and bustle. And it never ends.

Zibash.Don’t say that! Live on, even if only for me. By the way, can you drop in tonight? Zheniszhan is on a holiday now, he went to visit his grandfather for a week.

Komekbay.I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to do it today. If I can do it, I’ll call you. Okay?

Zibash.Okay. So, tell me what you need.

Komekbay. (He is embarrassed) Give me a bottle of vodka… on loan… and a pack of cigarettes.

Zibash takes a bottle of vodka and a pack of cigarette from the shelf, wraps them up in a plastic bag and gives it to Komekbay.

Zibash.Do you need anything else? Don’t be shy, tell me.

Komekbay.No, nothing more. Thank you, Zibash. I’ll receive money from the cooperative store soon, and then I’ll pay off all the debts. Deal?

Zibash.Oh, don’t say another word! My darling, everything I have is yours!

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