Александр Герасимов - NLP Radio. The most efficient NLP tools. Part 2

Okay. Very interesting to find out. What makes people such? What

kind of circumstances make us active or reflective? What should

happen in childhood, that a child grows up reflective or active?

In this case, in early childhood… the parenting style plays a significant role… Basically, all children are rather active… You can see that, for example, observing children playing outdoors at a kindergarten…

where they permanently moving somewhere, doing something…

But you surely can imagine how a kid is gradually growing up… and he or she is told, “Where are you constantly hasting to?”, “Why are you always grasping everything?”, “Sit, and think it over!”, “Calculate!”…

and it gradually gets integrated… and if a family is, for example, accustomed to slow heart-to-heart talks… some philosophical speculations… or – parents’ occupations are not related to physical activities… subsequently, such person starts slowing down… realizing that thinking is more beneficial… Besides, it often happens that a person… their pro-activeness is to their detriment… for example, a person makes a decision unthinkingly… for example, with regard to investments… if we are talking about adults… runs somewhere, writes something, or says something… and then gets punished for that… and gets feedback as follows, “If you were not in so much of a hurry, and if you had calculated and weighed everything, that wouldn’t happen!” … And later, in a similar situation, – it really is an imprint, – … in a similar situation, such person asks him- or herself, “Why am I in a hurry?”… and comes to a conclusion, ‘I’d

better take everything into consideration, I’d better listen to experts’

opinion, I’d better think about potential results,’ … and gradually such person begins to slow down… but it is also critical to keep in mind that basically… the context matters.. because, for example, a person may be rather active while communicating with their friends, and reflective, for example, at work, dealing with customers…

It is surprising what you have said, because I thought that

physiology was very strong. I thought, that physiology was

stronger than upbringing of parents. And I actually thought, that

it was impossible to slow down human nature.

Yes, sure. Parents feel comfortable then their child has the same rhythm of life as they do. But not all parents are able to slow down a person… to slow down their child… to their level.

I’d like to add that… Yes, indeed. We understand that our environment has a strong influence on us… for example… a person leaves the country and moves to a noisy and quick city… it is an external factor… and then a person has to make a difficult choice… either to adapt to the crazy rhythm of the city, or… having failed… to get back… well, surely there are some optimal, intermediate variants… something else…

it is an extreme example… I notice, based on my own experience…

I travel a lot… when I – with my already integrated pro-activeness – arrive in a small town, and begin to list something off pretty rapidly, to talk about something, I feel… and see – judging by people’s reaction – that I’d better pause between words… or slow down sometimes… or ask them if everything is clear to them… for example… and I understand that if I stay at that town… for example, for a week… I will slow down…

and I will then need to adapt to the rhythm of the city when I am back to Moscow… so, circumstances do have effect… So, the older we get, the more flexible we are… and the easier we can adapt…

while you have to make rather serious efforts to calm down a kid, and parents sometimes fail to do it… an older person has a more conscious attitude… and understands that… well, let us ask those driving a car a question – imagine a traffic flow moving at a certain pace… it doesn’t matter, 40 km/h, or 20 km/h… if it is a traffic jam… or 90 km/h, out in the country… so, at what speed should you drive your

car? The answer is – at the speed of the traffic flow. And there is no…

if you drive faster, there are certain requirements for your driving…

if you drive slower… you will hear horns sounding, and other drivers will be cutting in front of you… it may happen…

Okay. These metaprograms, active and reflective,… how else can

we call it? How can we paraphrase it? What are these: not filters,

but characteristics? What are they?

Well, those are partially perceptual filters, too. Because, when we are delivered information, we perceive things. Another example related to driving. For example, there is a person, who is driving at the maximum speed of 40 km/h. For example, and old man. So, it is his perceptual filter. He is processing information at this speed.

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