Алексей Дарковский - Mentors

Who are mentors and what purpose do they serve in our lives? Probably, each of us at least once asked this question.

For someone, the closest people – parents or foster parents, sisters, brothers, grandmothers and grandfathers become the mentors. Often, being an adult, a person finds someone who is able to instruct and lead, for example, a friend, colleague, husband or wife. There are people who might not have advisers – they are going through life steadily and independently. And some never had a wise mentor, although they wanted so much to find him or her…

Of course, the first mentors we meet when we come into the world. Family becomes the mainstay of the defenseless baby. And then, everything depends on the twists of fate and, surprisingly, on the personality of the growing-up child.

The line of this story is based on a real history of relationships at different life stages. Such stories can happen to anyone. But did each of us wonder – who helped me to become a person? Who defined my hero? Who pointed me to my virtues and talents?

Perhaps you have already found your mentors long time ago and thank them with all the heart. Or are you still looking for people who would share their precious experiences with you? Anyway, this book will help you to find much to learn and be surprised of.

Recollecting the days of childhood, you involuntarily catch yourself thinking that parents were the only mentors at that time. Perhaps, for someone, they remained so for the rest of life. Some listened more to Mom, others – to Dad, for someone – both parents become idols and authorities forever.

But life goes on and we transit from home to kindergarten. A colorful society of peers is around and there are no moms and dads. Instead of them appear nursery teachers. Little children, unwittingly, look in them a substitution of their parents. Boys try to liken a mother to a teacher, and girls – a father. If it is possible to find this similarity, the child unconsciously considers the teacher to be a new mentor. And children who do not see any relative feature in the teacher are constantly crying and asking their parents to take them home as soon as possible.

Perhaps, dear reader, you will object that there are many teachers and each of them considers himself to be the boss over the children. But does each of them deserve to be called a mentor?

The question is accepted! Moreover, I recall one case that, perhaps, will become an irrefragable answer.

It was in summer of the distant 1989. In our group there was a teacher being with whom we felt like behind a stone wall. When it was necessary, she suggested and praised, and for the cause she called over the coals. But one day our beloved mentor went on vacation, and we were put to another teacher.

At first everything was going fine. Dinners, classes, walking. On one of these walks, we, children, wanted an adventure. Well, what’s wrong with that, the children adore everything new and unusual. We climbed on a tree, but one boy has broken. It is good that he landed successfully – on his back. We got scared and surrounded the injured friend.

And what about the new teacher? She talked to another teacher and continued to do so. She did not even come to us. Of course, we were then too small, and did not particularly understand the behavior of adults. But one of the boys, named Aleksei, muttered:

– Our teacher would not allow such a thing!

Of course, we cannot guess the train of thought of another person and understand why he or she acted one way or another. But this case confirms my idea – people cannot bear to be a mentor – they become to be those.

Surprisingly, but both of these women remain in the memory of Aleksei. One woman as a mentor, the other one as her antipode. It is most likely that the second teacher saw the fall from the tree and just did not want to bother.

Meeting with the second possible mentor is not limited by a kindergarten. At the end of kindergarten period, many of us were joined creative circles for singing, artistic gymnastics, martial arts, swimming. It is a way parents tried to provide us with skills that could become a hobby or even a future profession.

In the life of little Aleksei a swimming class appeared. At first he visited the so-called “paddling pool”. The higher stage was considered to be the “great water”. But it was not easy to cross over there. Children were selected by experienced coaches.

Aleksei could not even imagine that simple swimming teaching would transform to something more. Then he only diligently showed his skills, swimming from one edge of the “paddling pool” to another. He swam to the edge, raised his head and saw a woman standing right above him. She was his future coach in competitive swimming.

– Well, will you join to my team? – she asked cheerfully. I will teach you a competitive swimming!

– I will go, – he answered immediately.

On the one hand, the boy was filled with enthusiasm. It was interesting for him: what and how he will be taught. On the other hand, he felt a slight shiver from fear and excitement. It is so deep, almost five meters! How does he do it, will not he drown?

Coming for the first training session, he changed and went with all the guys to a small hall for a warm-up. In just a half an hour, he already swam in the pool, forgetting about his fears. Undoubtedly, that was the merit of the coach.

Yes, it is possible that many coaches use this system. But she worked not only on the physical skills of children, but also trained their characters. Involuntarily her persistent words are recalled.

– You do not elaborate all the time, not do everything that I tell and show you, – she told Aleksei.

Another coach would probably spit on it. The boy does not want to work hard, let him flounder, as he wants. But she did not give up.

Now, after a little over twenty years, it is hard to say what they could achieve together. But everything remained as a draft. The coach left (in her own volition or she was forced to do so, it will remain a mystery), and our team of budding swimmers has disintegrated.

Of course, the swimming class, where Aleksei met a wonderful coach, was not the only place where he can meet new masters. In this period of his life, a huge influence on the child is exerted by the school.

Every year, when we come to a class reunion, we try to pay more attention to our teachers. Whatever, we spend a quarter of our entire life at school.

We not only acquire new knowledge there, but provide ourselves with friends as well. The school is preparing us for adulthood gradually. It provides us with new mentors – a first teacher, a form master, and subject teachers. Sometimes even classmates or guys from high school become mentors.

The main support for most children in primary school, of course, is the first teacher. Aleksei was not exception. Fate gave him an excellent teacher. But it was not long time for the teacher to run the class. Her help was needed for other children, future first-grade students with a gymnasium emphasis. But she remained in Aleksei’s memory forever as an example for admiration.

Further school life was very interesting, but Aleksei never met such a mentor as the first teacher was among school personnel. Maybe he did not look for a mentor at that time, and was “cooked” in what he had. Although, wait, there was one interesting case…

It happened about a year and a half before the end of school period, in 1999–2000. Senior students studied in a vocational training facility designed to teach adolescents some of the professional skills. For example, there it was possible to train and pass driving examinations completely free of charge.

It would seem that only lazy people would not avail itself of that opportunity! But Aleksei and his school friend could appearsuch lazy persons. Well, here’s the thing. The guys did not want to make much effort, but, at the same time, they desired to get a quick result. They prepared a lot of cribs and became the best in the theory of traffic code. They never once thought that they could not use the cribs on the real exam. And even if they contrive to pass the test, knowing nothing, they could commit many accidents in which innocent people will suffer.

As a result of such machinations, Aleksei and his friend were “sitting pretty”, but such a “sitting” was useless. And then they were selected among the other guys to represent the school in city competitions.

Aleksei did not go there shying away from defeat. But his friend went to the competition, where he has failed dismally. However, it did not change anything. Subsequently, both careless friends were given right kicking from the teacher of industrial training.

“How so? – a teacher, probably, thought. – The best students, “A” students, and suddenly have embarrassed so much at the citywide competitions? Something is wrong here!”.

And he decided to check out teenagers by changing the rules of the game. Situations were similar to those that were offered at the competitions, but ticket numbers are different.

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