Гэрет Уильямс - Темное, кривое зеркало. Том 5 : Средь звезд, подобно гигантам

She was never far from the screams. They were there when she closed her eyes at night, and there when she opened them in the morning. The trapped, the lost, the prisoners. The countless slaves to the Vorlon network. Some she knew, some she didn't. Many weren't even human. That didn't matter. They were telepaths, like her — one kind, like her, one people, like her.

Talia opened her eyes and they were screaming even more loudly. One of them was standing before her. One of the abominations, one of those who actually liked their new role.

The Hand of the Light. The Bloodhounds. Countless different names for the same basic function.

Hunters.

The creature hissed and moved back. Talia looked at it.

"Now, I'm annoyed," she said.

Darkness crackled from her fingertips and she pointed at the abomination. It screamed as bolts of raw shadow struck at it. Light formed around it as a shield, but anger gave her thoughts power and she shattered it with a thought.

These things hunted her people, consigning them to an eternity of pain. They did it willingly, voluntarily.

They enjoyed it.

They would take her if they could, maybe even make her one of them. They had taken Al. They would take Abby. They would take Dexter. They would take all of her people.

Join us, it hissed at her. L iving or dead, willing or not, you will join us.

She glanced at Dexter. His glance was flicking from her to the abomination. She was not sure which repelled him more.

"No," she said, loud enough for him to hear. She would not share her thoughts with this creature. That was for her people, for her lovers, for her loved ones. Al, Abby, Dexter.

She found herself thinking of the soul trapped within the Dark Star she had encountered on the way here. A pitiful thing, still dreaming of the protective blanket that had kept him safe from imaginary monsters as a child.

Well, she was a child no longer, and the hardest lesson Talia had ever learned as an adult was that not all monsters are imaginary, and there is no blanket to hide beneath.

There was only her.

Waves of shadow flowed from her hands, enveloping the abomination. Tiny sparks of light tried to shine through the dark cloud, but they were soon swallowed up. Talia concentrated harder, forcing the tendrils into its throat, its eyes, its nose.

It fell, still trying to summon the light, still trying to invade her mind. It was failing, naturally. Its power worked on fear, and she was not afraid of them.

Help me, came the pitiful psychic cry. It fell to the ground, head tilted back, choking sounds coming from its shaking body. It reached out one hand to Dexter.

Help me, brother.

Talia looked at him, trembling. He was looking back at her, his gaze stern. She caught a glimpse of horror in his expression. It had been almost two years. She had changed. He would have to understand that.

He would understand that, wouldn't he?

The abomination tried to crawl towards him. H elp me, brother, it said again, reaching out to touch him.

Dexter kicked its hand away. "No," he said softly.

It shrank up into a ball, now completely consumed by the shadow. Little moans came from it, but they were becoming quieter and quieter. The shaking grew less and less. The shadow became smaller and smaller and finally faded away, leaving nothing behind.

Talia looked up at Dexter. He was motionless, staring at her.

"Don't judge me," she whispered. "Don't dare judge me."

"You've changed," he said.

"I'm at war. Of course I've changed."

He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. "I've changed too," he whispered.

She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.

"That's what you came to talk to me about, isn't it?" he asked. She nodded wordlessly. "They know you're here?" Another nod. "Will there be more of them?" Another nod.

"So," he said at last. "You need my help?"

"Yes," she said, pulling back and looking up at him. "They're here. They have a base here. IPX is still capturing telepaths and turning us into…. them. They're just going a little further afield."

"They won a contract from the Government some time last year. It involves going out amongst the destroyed colonies, looking for salvage. Lots of big ships. A long time away from Proxima, or anywhere civilised. Lots of scope for…. anything."

"I'm here to fight them," she said softly. "Want to help?"

"You mean, do I want to give up a cushy Senator's job and go back to the glory days of waging a suicidal guerilla war against all-powerful opponents?" He stopped, thinking about it. "Sure, why not? What's the first stage, other than both of us getting out of here?"

She kissed him. His lips were very warm. His head was pounding — she could feel the pain in the back of his skull. Too much alcohol. Not her, though. She was remarkably clear-headed.

"Thank you," she said.

"Anything for a lady."

"The first thing we need is a little help to get a few people inside Proxima without strictly legal passports. And there's an item we need brought in as well. You'll have to see it. It will explain a lot, not least…. how I've changed."

"I can do that. What's this item do?"

"A great many things. It's called the Apocalypse Box."

Ha'Cormar'ah G'Kar loved many things in his life, although it did not come easily to him to say so. I could read some of the things in his expression as he told his tales of the old days.

G'Kar looked at the shrine for a long time, his eyes half-closed, seeing half of what was and half what of had been and half of what he dreamed it could be.

No one ever saw what was there. They saw what they wished to be there.

Or what they feared was there.

Or some combination of both.

He loved his people. He loved his cause. He loved his friends dearly. He loved Delenn of Mir and Emperor Londo Mollari and he even felt some love for Primarch Sinoval, who was hardly the easiest person to love. He loved Commander Ta'Lon and the memory of Neroon, and most of all he loved Lennier, almost as much as I did.

He even loved me a little.

People passed by, no one seeming to notice the building in front of them. A holy place, dedicated to the lost and the fallen, and no one seemed to care. He saw a young human stare at it for a long time, a wide-eyed sense of wonder in his face, and then walk on. He saw a Narn girl humming to herself as she looked at it. He saw an elderly Narn soldier, walking with a heavy limp and missing an arm, stare at the memory of the building with misty eyes.

But the adults, those who held the power or supported those who held the power. The current generation of the Narn people. His generation, those who had survived the Occupation and the War and been able to realise the better world they had always told themselves was possible.

They saw nothing.

Most of all, he loved his hopes for the future. So much of that part of him had been lost before I met him, and most of what remained has been lost since. He rarely spoke of his dreams to me, but sometimes he did, and then his eyes seemed to light up.

That was what he truly loved, the future.

"So much is forgotten, so much is lost."

He was waiting for Lennier or Ta'Lon to get back to him. Both were investigating secret things, digging into buried mysteries. He was doing the same, but in his own way. Lennier and Ta'Lon were investigating conspiracies and secrets.

He was investigating the hearts and the souls of his people.

He told me once that he loved hope more than anything else, for hope was pure and perfect. You could hope for a better world despite knowing it would never come. You could hope for a victory and never have to imagine what would come afterwards, when the memory of the victory faded.

"Ha'Cormar'ah," said a voice quietly to him. He turned to see someone looking at him. He had made no attempt at disguise, but neither had he made any effort to draw attention to himself. No one had spared him a second glance. He was sure the agents and the eyes of the Kha'Ri would have noticed him, but to his people, he was no one.

"Yes?" he said.

The Narn nodded, and then seemed to shimmer.

I have spent thirty years trying to understand everything he told me, and the most important lesson I have learned in all that time is that I never will. I miss him every day. I miss his wisdom, his kindness, his understanding, his drive.

Most of all I miss the dreams of the young man he must once have been. There is no one left now who knew that young man. They are all gone. Speak his name to a few elderly men and women and their eyes will light up, their years drop away and they will remember his face and his speeches, but they will not remember him.

Still, perhaps that is magic enough. Perhaps that is legacy enough. It is more than most of us can ask for, to be remembered in that way.

As a legend.

G'Kar realised what it was almost instantly, memories left over from his sojourn in the Great Machine rising in his mind. But he was paralysed by a sheer lack of comprehension.

Not here! He had expected many things. Thenta Ma'Kur, alien mercenaries, common street thugs, but not this.

The thing that was not a Narn moved too quickly for him to react. One blow staggered him and the second felled him.

He stared up into the sun with unblinking eyes.

Not a Faceless. He had never expected a Shadowspawn here.

He told me once, bitter and angry, how much he resented being a legend. He would have been happy to have his name forgotten and erased from history. Alas, by writing this tome I fear I have removed any hope of that.

But most of all he wished to have his message remembered, his words, his meaning. That was what mattered, not his name.

I hope I have managed to do that, even a little.

No one noticed as the body of Ha'Cormar'ah G'Kar was removed.

In less than a minute it was as if he had never been there at all.

L'Neer of Narn, Learning at the Prophet's Feet.

John J. Sheridan. Saviour of the galaxy. Defender of the true and the virtuous.

You can hide no secrets from me, Sheridan.

All was dark, save for the light of the tiny candle at the foot of the mirror. The mirror was vast, towering up as far as the eye could see, but all he could see in it was himself, staring back at him, speaking with a voice not his own.

"Is this a dream?" he asked himself.

That depends. Are you a man dreaming you are a ghost, or a ghost dreaming you are a man? Is anything real? Is Delenn real, or is her touch only an illusion? Am I real?

"Who are you?"

Who are you?

We have been over this, Sheridan. You don't know who you are. Look, we have stripped everything away, you and I. All that remains is the darkness, a tiny light, the mirror, and yourself. Shorn of all encumbrances and burdens and duties. Here of all places you can surely know who you are.

"How can any of us answer that question?"

Very well, then. Another question. A different one. Who do you want to be?

"My father," he replied instantly. "I want to be my father."

The one who joined the Shadows, who allied with them, fought for them, sent countless millions to their deaths in their cause?

"No. That man was not my father. That man was someone who once had been my father. I want to be my father as he was when I was a child."