Patricia Davids - His Bundle of Love

“And when this baby comes home from the hospital? Who’s going to watch her when you go to work? You can’t expect Mom to take on the job at her age.”

“I’m not expecting any of you to take care of Beth. I’ll arrange for day care like the rest of the world does.”

“You don’t always have to be the hero, Mick,” Alice said quietly.

“I’m not trying to be a hero here.”

“Are you sure?” Mary asked. “First you follow in Dad’s footsteps in the same job that got him killed. And no offense, Mom, but then, Mick insists on moving you in with him after the accident. As great as that is, Mick, I think you’re putting your own life on hold. You were only eight when Dad died, but you were determined to be the man of the family.”

Mick rose from the table with the pretext of refilling his coffee cup. He’d become the man of the family because, with his dying breath, his father told him he had to.

“My life isn’t on hold, and Mom is welcome to stay here as long as she wants.”

“Because you promised Dad you’d always look after her,” Mary stated.

He whirled around, barely noticing the hot coffee that sloshed over his hand. “Leave Dad out of this!”

“Please, children, don’t fight,” Elizabeth pleaded.

Mick stuck his stinging knuckles under the tap and turned on the cold water. “Mom is here because we all decided it was the best solution. As for my work—I like being a firefighter. It’s my life, Mary. Just because I didn’t choose a nine-to-five job like your boring businessman husband doesn’t mean it’s a waste. Money isn’t everything.”

“As usual, I see you don’t intend to listen to anything I have to say. If you wanted my advice, you would have asked for it instead of telling me after the fact. Mother, I hope you can talk some sense into him.”

Biting back his retort, Mick turned around. “I’m sorry, Mary. I don’t want to argue. I do want your support in this.”

“And I can’t give it. A child needs a mother and a father. You’ve got no business trying to raise one by yourself.” She rose and headed out the back door, letting it slam behind her.

“You shouldn’t have said that about Rodger,” Elizabeth chided.

“Oh, pooh.” Alice waved her mother’s objection aside. “He is boring and Mary was the first one to notice.”

“No, Mom is right.” Mick dried his hands. “I let Mary get under my skin, and then I say something that makes her mad.”

“Mary was born mad,” Elizabeth added quietly.

Mick and Alice turned to stare at her in astonishment.

After glancing from one to the other, she straightened. “Well, it’s true. It’s the red hair.”

Mick laughed. “My hair’s red. Do you say that about me?”

Alice snorted. “Mom has never said an unkind word about you from the day you were born. Frankly, it irked me. Nobody’s that perfect.”

“Mom doesn’t know the half of it,” he retorted.

Elizabeth grinned at him. “Don’t be too sure about that.”

“No,” Alice said, “you, little brother, are too good for your own good.”

“Would you rather I lie, drink, steal and swear? That’s not a very Christian attitude.”

“What I’d like is to see you go a little wild once in a while. Skip church on Sunday. The place won’t fall down.”

“Alice!” Clearly appalled, Elizabeth gaped at her daughter. “Just because you don’t go to church on a regular basis is no reason to tempt Mickey to give it up.”

Rolling her eyes, Alice asked, “Are you tempted?” When he shook his head, she turned to her mother and spread her hands. “See? All I’m saying is that he needs to have a little fun in his life. He’s way too serious.”

She rose and crossed the room to stand in front of him. “If you’re determined to do this, fine. Just make sure you’re doing it because you want this, and not because you think this is what Dad would want you to do. Otherwise, much as I hate to say it, I’m with Mary on this.”

“Good news, Mick.” At the NICU the following morning, Sandra came across the room to greet him. “We pulled Beth’s chest tube today. She’s doing fine.”

“That is good news.”

“Would you like to hold her?” Sandra asked.

Joy leaped in his heart. “Of course I would.”

Then, just as quickly, his elation took a dive, tempered by a heavy dose of dread. “Are you sure it’s okay?”

Smiling, Sandra patted his arm. “I’ll be here to keep an eye on her. Have you heard of kangaroo care?”

He shook his head.

“It’s where we let parents hold their babies skin-to-skin. We’ll lay her on your bare chest and cover her with a blanket. Your body heat will keep her warm, and the sound of your heartbeat will soothe her. Want to try it?”

“Sure.”

“Good. We’ll be able to do this once a day if she tolerates it, but moving her is rather complicated and that’s the stressful part. We ask that you hold her for at least an hour. Do you have that much time today?”

“You bet.”

At the bedside, he saw Beth lying curled on her side with both hands tucked under her chin.

“Hey, sweet pea. I get to hold you today. Isn’t that great?”

Beth’s eyes fluttered at the sound of his voice, and she yawned. Chuckling, Sandra said, “I don’t think she’s suitably impressed with you.”

Sandra indicated a recliner beside the bed. “Okay, Mick, take your shirt off.”

He pulled his T-shirt off over his head. Feeling a bit self-conscious, he sat in the chair, still as a fire hydrant, while the nurses transferred Beth. The scary part came when they un-hooked her from the vent. Alarms sounded until Sandra laid the baby on his chest, and reconnected her to the machine.

His large hand covered Beth’s entire back and held her still as she squirmed in her new environment. She was light as a feather against him. He could barely take in the rush of emotions that filled him. Sandra laid a warm blanket over the two of them, and Beth proceeded to make herself comfortable. She wiggled against his skin, her tiny fingers grasping handfuls of his chest hair.

She felt wonderful, amazing. So real and so precious. A tiny, warm body pressed against his heart. It was everything he had ever imagined it would be and more. He wanted to hold on to this marvelous moment forever. Did Beth hear his heartbeat? Did she draw comfort from the sound? Did she remember the sound of her mother’s beating heart?

An intense sadness settled over him, dulling his happiness.

He looked up at Sandra, hovering close by. “It should be her mother holding her for the first time.”

“At least she has you. Some children never know a loving touch their entire lives even when they have two parents.”

Caitlin opened her eyes to see sunshine streaming in through a wide window that framed a blue sky and fluffy white clouds. Her nose itched. She raised her hand to scratch it then stopped, startled. A padded board and a loop of clear tubing were taped to her hand. Swallowing painfully, she discovered a tube in her mouth.

Bits and pieces of a half-remembered dream danced at the edge of her mind. A deep voice telling her everything would be all right, the wailing of a siren, someone saying, “It’s a girl,” other voices saying, “blind and deaf.”

She tried but nothing settled into place, and her head began to pound. She moved a hand to her belly, seeking the lump that sometimes stirred and kicked. She found only flatness. Had she lost the baby? Cold fear settled in her chest.

The sound of a door opening came from behind her. A moment later, a young woman in a nurse’s uniform came around the bed. She stopped short, and her eyes widened in surprise as she met Caitlin’s gaze.

“Well, hello. It’s nice to see you awake. In fact, it’s quite a shock.” Taking a small light from her pocket, she leaned over the bed rail and shined it in Caitlin’s eyes, checking first one, then the other. Putting the light away she slipped her hand beneath Caitlin’s and said, “Squeeze my hand.”

Caitlin did, and the woman’s smile widened. Gingerly, Caitlin touched the tube in her mouth.

The nurse nodded. “You’re on a ventilator, that’s why you can’t talk. It’s been helping you breathe, but I don’t think you’ll need it much longer. I know you have a lot of questions. Let me get something for you to write on.”

Something to write on? No, that wouldn’t do. They’d find out how stupid she was. They’d laugh at her. They always did.

The nurse started to turn away, but Caitlin grabbed her. Fearfully, she patted her now flat stomach and waited with dread crawling inside her.

The woman smiled in understanding and grasped Caitlin’s hand. “Your baby is here in the hospital, and she’s being well taken care of, so don’t you worry. We have to concentrate on getting you well enough to go and see her. Okay?”

Caitlin relaxed in heartfelt relief. Her baby was here. She had a little girl, and she would be able to see her. Everything was fine. Just like the voice had promised.

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