Amber McKenzie - The Surgeon's Baby Secret

“I think I owe you a lot,” she acknowledged.

“So tell me something about yourself and we’ll call it even.”

She thought of all the things she could tell him. She was a physician. She worked at the same hospital as her stepfather and ex-husband. She was recently divorced from the only man she had ever been in a serious relationship with. None of those topics she wanted to discuss. “I was born in Scotland.”

“You don’t sound Scottish.” He was smiling at her and she couldn’t help but feel a sense of warmth from him.

“We moved when I was one. This is my first time back.”

“Your father never brought you here when you were growing up?”

“No. My father died when I was ten.”

He reached across the table and rested his hand on hers. “I’m sorry.”

This was where she normally said “That’s okay” as casually as she could muster, but something about Ryan changed her response. “Thank you.”

His hand lingered on hers until the waitress returned with his dark draft beer. “So tell me something about yourself,” she said, genuinely interested in the man before her.

“What do you want to know?”

“Am I the first woman you have ever pulled off a hillside?”

“First, and hopefully last. What else?” He leaned back in his chair and looked completely relaxed with opening his life up to her questions.

“Where are you stationed?”

“I’ve been mainly in combat zones in the Middle East for the past five years.”

“Do you like it?”

“Combat?”

“Being in the military.”

“Yes. I originally joined to help pay for school but found myself drawn to the hard work ethic and structure. When I finished school I decided to stay for the challenge.”

“You like a challenge?” She was surprised to hear her own voice almost coy, teasing him.

“I’ve found that everything in life worth having you have to work for.” The smile that followed was enough to make her heart begin to race. Was he flirting with her? A second later a horrible thought flashed through her mind and in a moment it also left her mouth.

“Are you married?” She alternated her gaze between the look in his eyes during his response and an examination of his left hand, looking for any hint of an outline of a ring.

“No, never have been.” It seemed as if he was telling the truth, but would she know if he wasn’t? He didn’t seem at all disturbed by her question. “Are you?”

She thought about her new label, hating the way it made her relive all her mistakes every time the label was used. She took another sip of her cider and rested the glass back on the table before answering. “Divorced.”

“That bothers you.”

“You’re observant,” she acknowledged.

“I’ve built my career around paying attention to the subtle clues people give me.”

“Then you’re lucky. I’m so naive that I miss even the most obvious of signs people give me.”

“You don’t strike me as naive.”

“I’m not anymore.” Or that was her new resolve anyway. She still needed to prove it to herself.

“I get the feeling there is a story behind that.”

He was more than observant, he was perceptive and he was right. There was a long story behind the loss of her innocence, but not one that she felt like sharing—especially with Ryan. It had been years since she had been a stranger to anyone and she enjoyed the freedom of talking to someone who wasn’t privy to the backstory of her life. “Are you always this inquisitive with women you have barely met?”

“No. But considering how we met I think we’re already beyond the superficial, don’t you?”

It wasn’t his words that implied an intimacy between them. It was the way he was looking at her. She again took in the man sitting before her. He was as handsome as he was confident and, as silly as it felt, it felt as if he was on her side. She wasn’t sure which feature she found most attractive but attraction was definitely coursing through her body.

“Yes,” she answered. “What exactly are we doing here, Ryan?”

She was direct. He’d known that already but he still wasn’t prepared for her question, because he didn’t know the answer. He had thought about little other than her since they had last parted. Relief had been just one of the emotions he had felt when he’d seen her tonight. If it had only been relief he would have just been happy to see that she was all right and left her alone, but more than relief he felt a complete fascination with the woman he had spotted the moment he’d entered the restaurant.

She looked more mature and somehow more desirable than she had on the hillside. Gone was the young frightened girl and instead, walking past him, was a confident woman. Her blond hair appeared freshly washed and accented perfectly against the blue silk of her shirt. She once again wore heeled boots to add to her height and they clung to her legs in the same fashion as her flesh-hugging gray denim.

Once in the pub he waited for over an hour before he ventured to her table and now he was being asked point-blank about his intentions. Intentions he still didn’t even know or understand.

“I’m getting to know a person who has captured my attention and I hope you’re doing the same.”

He watched as her flush spread from the valley between her breasts that her shirt exposed upward toward her face. She reached this time for her iced water and he watched her bide her time before answering.

“You have definitely captured my attention. But I’m not sure about why we’re bothering to get to know each other.”

“You really know how to flatter a man.” If he’d thought she’d turned red earlier, she had darkened two shades with his last comment.

“What I meant was that neither of us lives here. We may never even see each other again after tonight.”

“Do you want to see me again?”

Another long pause before he heard the small sigh escape her lips before she answered. “I’ve learned the hard way it doesn’t matter what I want.”

“It matters to me.” And it did. He hated seeing the look of defeat in her eyes and felt as if he would do anything to make it go away.

“And if I did want to see you again?”

“Then we would want the same thing.”

He waited for her response, or more so her verbal response. He didn’t miss the way her pupils dilated or the slight tremble in her response to him. “I want to see you again. I just don’t know if it is a good idea.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because things I thought were right for me in the past have been anything but.”

“You don’t think you can trust me?”

She wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t ready for Ryan. Why now? Except she couldn’t really begrudge his arrival in her life, because without him there was the possibility she wouldn’t be alive. Could she trust him? Her instincts said yes, but she had been so wrong before that the person she really couldn’t trust was herself.

“I don’t know what to think about any of this.”

“What does your gut tell you?”

Her gut told her that she wanted more. More of Ryan and more of the feelings he was bringing out in her. That even talking to him felt so different from her beginnings with Kevin. She didn’t feel that sense of being charmed and swept off her feet, which ironically felt better. Ryan made her feel as if this was less about him and more about her and him liking what he saw in her. What would be the harm in spending more time together? To indulge in the feelings he brought out in her? Her first fling and in less than a week they would go their separate ways, and at best he would become a beautiful memory to carry with her as she carved out her new life. At worst, well, really, what couldn’t she face after everything she had already been through?

“It’s getting late and it’s pretty dark out. Would you mind walking me back to the hotel?”

“I think I can do that.”

He signaled to the waitress and paid their bill, silencing her objections to his generosity. She also wasn’t able to slip past his gallantry as he helped her put on her jacket and held the door for her as they ventured into the slightly cooled night air.

“It is beautiful here, both day and night,” she remarked, feeling relaxation take hold of her for the first time since arriving earlier that day. A yawn escaped her as the jet lag she had been waiting for did the same.

“Careful, these roads are charming but a bit uneven.” His words were followed by his arm brushing past hers to take hold of her hand. It was the second time she had felt held to him and she allowed herself to enjoy it.

They walked the few blocks toward the hotel and her mind began to quiet as she enjoyed the evening and her time with Ryan. “It’s nice to have someone to look out for me,” she thought and said simultaneously.

The hand that had so strongly held hers pulled her toward him as they stopped still in the darkness a few meters from the hotel’s entrance. “I wish I could say that all I want to do is look out for you.” His voice, sounding slightly anguished, made the short voyage to her ears.

“What do you want to do with me?” she asked, surprised, with no essence of the “come-hither” that question would normally hold.

“This,” he answered, as his hands moved even closer to hold her against him as his lips descended on hers. His lips were hard yet so soft against her own and she welcomed the contact. She reached up, letting her hands rest against his chest, loving the feel of his firm chest as much as she enjoyed the pressure of his kiss. She felt his desire for more and she wanted the same, opening her mouth to his for him to explore. She wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, in the night, kissing, but she was certain that she had never been kissed like that before.

When they finally broke apart she felt breathless and dizzy, both in a very good way. “Thank you,” she murmured against him.

“Thank you?” he said, puzzled.

“I needed to be kissed like that.”

“I’d be happy to do it again.”

She laughed and she enjoyed the sound echoing through the night.

“Really, Erin. I have full intentions of kissing you again,” he stated outright, and she had no doubt of his plans.

“Can you meet me tomorrow?” she asked with a little hesitancy, hoping for the response she realized she desperately wanted.

“Yes.”

“Then I have no doubt you will make good on your promise. Good night. I’ll see you in the morning.” This time she initiated the kiss as she closed the gap between them once again and softly pressed her lips to his, before breaking away and moving through the hotel courtyard to the entrance. He didn’t follow her, which was good as she wasn’t sure she would be able to resist any further advances.

Ryan walked onto the balcony of his suite, which in the daytime gave him both a clear view of old Edinburgh and the sea. He sipped from a short glass of Scotch and tried to organize his thoughts and motivations.

He could no longer pretend that he was spending time with Erin to protect her from herself. Did she have a hint of sadness to her—yes. But after tonight he couldn’t make the argument that she was depressed and needed saving from herself. Maybe he had misinterpreted what had happened on Arthur’s Seat. What he hadn’t misinterpreted was his attraction to her. Tonight in the restaurant with every word that had come from her perfectly formed lips and every small move of her body toward him he’d felt a pull toward her. He had meant what he’d said to her—she was beautiful and she said what she meant, and he valued both qualities equally. So much so that he had kissed her and now wanted more.