Jill Shalvis - The Detective's Undoing

“I don’t think your mother was real good at truths, Delia,” he said gently.

That had her snapping her gaze back to his, but when she spoke, it was not with the heat of temper, but with the slow precision that only pain and sorrow could bring. “I’d like to be able to deny that.”

It was a surprising admission from a woman who’d been very careful to keep herself hidden from him. He understood perfectly, as the attempt was mutual. “I’m on the case until I have answers.”

She muttered something, but he missed it. When he raised a brow in question, she sighed with exasperation.

“I said thank you for finding my half brother.”

Given how she’d ground out each word, especially the “thank you” part, Cade knew how difficult the words had been. For some reason, this lightened his mood, made him want to grin. “I’m sorry…what was that?” He ignored her growl of frustration and cupped a hand to his ear, giving her an innocent smile.

“Thank you,” she said again through her teeth. Then she swallowed, hard, and all traces of resentment vanished. Her voice and expression softened. “I didn’t even know Jacob existed and I owe you for that. I’m going next week to Los Angeles to meet him for the first time and…”

“And…?”

“And I’m grateful, okay?”

She looked close to tears again, which he couldn’t take. Cocking his head, he ran his gaze over the body that could make a grown man beg and gave a wicked smile designed to claw at her temper. “How grateful?” he asked.

For a second she gaped at him before her composure returned. It was fascinating to watch.

She was fascinating to watch.

Without a word, she sauntered past him, chin high, walking regally from the kitchen into the recesses of the dark house.

Which left him alone.

That was nothing new. He was always alone.

Learning to ride. Oh, the joy of it. Not.

The day stretched out before Delia, glorious and cloud-free. Good thing, too, because though it was only October, they’d been battered by a series of storms, and she was already a little tired of the bone-numbing cold.

She was also tired of worrying.

There was so much, she didn’t know where to start. She worried about Maddie and Zoe and how hard they had to work. She worried about her newly found little brother, living far away in Los Angeles with a distant aunt, because no one had known to contact her. She worried about this big bad wilderness she was living in, when all she knew were shopping malls and Thai takeout. She worried about—

“Hey.”

Him. She worried about him.

Silently cursing her sisters’ good humor—which had included this so-called riding lesson, courtesy of one Cade McKnight—she shifted in her saddle and looked into Cade’s mischievous eyes. As always, her heart skipped a beat, which annoyed her since her heart never skipped a beat over something as simple as a male.

“You’re not paying attention,” he said. “You’re letting that horse have her way.”

“I am not.” But good old Betsy betrayed her, bending her long neck down to graze. Delia turned away from Cade’s laughing gaze, trying to no avail to pull on Betsy’s reins.

The horse continued to graze peacefully.

“Try harder. With authority.”

Delia did…and broke a nail. She gritted her teeth and pulled harder.

Chewing complacently, Betsy twisted her neck and gazed balefully at Delia, but when she finished her mouthful, she didn’t go for more. Instead, she shifted, as if considering taking off for a nice long run.

Delia’s eyes widened slightly, her only concession to alarm. “Stop,” she demanded of the suddenly restless Betsy, the gentlest horse on the Triple M.

Cade reached over and stroked Betsy’s nose. “Shh, baby, it’s okay.”

“I know I’m okay.” Delia said. “Talk to the horse!”

“I was.” Cade grinned when Delia made a sound of frustration. “But you’re looking pretty okay, too. Baby.”

She rolled her eyes and looked away. Anywhere but at Cade.

They were still on Triple M property, but far enough from the house and barns that the vast land before her felt like another world. The hills were dotted with early frost, and the Salmon River raged more loudly than her thoughts. There wasn’t a freeway, let alone a car, in sight. No smog, no sirens, nothing. And to make it worse, she was sitting on a horse. A horse, for God’s sake.

She missed her city.

Cade’s lips curved as he tipped his head, studying her. A lock of wavy dark hair fell into his eyes, eyes that always seemed to see right through her icy calm to the Delia she didn’t want exposed.

“You’re thinking of your message,” he said.

“Humph.”

“The judge finally reviewed your request for custody of Jacob. You have a hearing set for next month.”

Her greatest hope and terror all mixed into one. Oh, she definitely wanted Jacob, but what made her think Jacob wanted her?

Cade was watching her closely now, and she returned his stare with one of her own. He was tall and built like an athlete, with powerful muscles born more from physical labor than any gym. With the sun behind him, every one of those muscles was outlined beneath his dark T-shirt, along with the ones in his long legs, which were encompassed in faded snug denim. And every one of those muscles was tense as he sat in the saddle looking at her. “This is good news, remember?”

“Of course.”

He bent closer, peering into her face. “Then where’s the smile?”

Baring her teeth, she gave the smile her best shot.

His big body shifted back, but he still watched her with that probing gaze.

As if he knew.

She assured herself that her secret fear was safe. No one must know that she was afraid and ashamed that she might be found lacking, not good enough to gain custody of her half brother.

But as she looked into Cade’s melting brown eyes, eyes that were filled with questions, she swallowed hard.

She could trust him.

The thought came from nowhere and was quickly squelched.

With one click of his tongue, Cade moved his horse right next to hers. “Why were you crying last night?” he asked bluntly.

She closed her eyes, blocking out the pretty but too-cool autumn sun, the breeze and his too-curious gaze.

“Was it Jacob?”

She didn’t—couldn’t—answer.

“You don’t have to go meet him alone,” Cade said as if she’d responded. “Your sisters—”

“It’s too expensive.” And none of them had a spare cent to their name. “And then there’s the upcoming opening. Plus, we’ll have guests soon.”

“You need support for this.”

“I can handle it.” She could handle anything.

“So strong.” He gave her a look that said he saw right through her. “You can do it all, right?”

“Yes.”

He shook his head. “No one is that strong.”

“I am.”

He stared at her until she felt that odd fluttering in her stomach. It annoyed her since she could see nothing in his gaze but his irritation at the worry he didn’t want to feel for her.

It was ironic that once upon a time she’d wished for a prince to solve all her problems, but life had taught her the hard way that she needed to be self-reliant—at all times. She would handle this, by herself.

And besides, Cade was no prince.

“Delia—”

“Look, I don’t know why you won’t just drop it.” She felt more desperate than ever, but her voice was sure and calm. Her voice was always sure and calm, thanks to years of practice.

“I can’t,” he said with real regret.

“Why?”

“Because I can’t shake the feeling that…that you need me.”

She managed to laugh at that and toss her head. “I don’t need anyone, Cade, especially you.”

“Yeah. I can see that.” Not a man to hide his feelings for anyone, his voice was tight. She’d stirred his male pride.

In a way, Delia admired him for showing her that. With Cade, she never had to guess what he was thinking, not when his face expressed every emotion, even when he obviously didn’t want to feel that emotion.

What would it be like not to worry what people thought? To just be? Delia didn’t have a clue. She’d been playing at being strong and independent for so long she no longer knew how to do anything else.

“It’s not a bad thing, needing someone,” he said after a long moment, and because she’d often wondered about that very thing, she closed her eyes.

She thought she felt a light caress in her hair, but when she opened her eyes again, he held his reins in one hand, the other lay on his thigh.

It must have been the wind, she decided.

Cade was a man seemingly at rest. Yet power and restless energy emanated from him in waves. There was a dangerous edge to Cade McKnight, one she didn’t understand. For all his casual smiles and laughter, there remained a part of him always prepared for anything. Maybe it was the bright day or the isolation, but she thought she saw a surprising depth to that edge now, and it made her take a good long look at him.

He looked back just as steadily, without a hint of discomfort.

Hurt, she realized, startled. He was hiding a wealth of hurt, just beneath his rough surface, and this unexpected side to the man she’d thought of only as a pain-in-her-own-rear was unsettling.

She looked away first.

The day around them was gloriously white, green, blue—a whole array of colors so brilliant that her eyes welled with stinging tears. It almost hurt to breathe, the air was so cold and crisp and pure.

So different from Los Angeles where she’d worked all her life in busy upscale beauty salons. Yes, she most definitely missed everything about it, especially the weather. Right now, she couldn’t remember what fifty degrees felt like, much less seventy.

And God help her, it was only October.

But her sisters were here, she reminded herself. They loved it and she loved them. It would also be the perfect place to raise the brother she’d never known existed—if she could ever get Jacob here from Los Angeles.

That, unfortunately, depended on Cade’s help. And he didn’t even know it yet.

“We going to ride?” Cade asked lightly.

“Yes.” She drew a deep breath and urged Betsy to walk. The stark wild land before her was the most incredible she’d ever seen, she’d give it that much. When they’d first arrived, the Triple M had been nothing more than two run-down barns and a house ready to collapse.

Over the past few months she and her sisters, along with Ty Jackson, their neighbor and now Zoe’s fiancé, had worked their fingers to the bone and their bank accounts to the limit. Due to inexperience and lack of funds, they’d been forced to give up the idea of ranching. Instead, they’d opened a guest ranch.

It was harder than anything she’d ever done, and if she was in an admitting sort of mood, she’d have to say it was also the most rewarding thing she’d ever done.

Now, looking over the land they’d worked so hard on, Delia felt a fierce surge of pride for what they’d accomplished.

It was all thanks to Constance Freeman, a woman she hadn’t gotten the chance to meet, but who could have been her paternal grandmother. Family.

In a shocking move, Cade came close and cupped her jaw in his leather-gloved hand, gently but firmly bringing up her chin so that she was forced to look at him. “You’re a million miles away and you don’t want to talk about it, right?”

“Right.”

To soothe her, or maybe to combat the glare she knew she’d shot him, his thumb slid over the skin of her cheek once, then again. Her skin rippled in reaction to the touch that should have been impersonal, but wasn’t.