Nikolay Lakutin - A play for 4,5,6,7,8 or 9 people. Holy Gaetz! Comedy

Angela (waiting for the intrigue). Hello? Oh, Zoya, it's you. What's the number that came up? From what phone? Which Anyuta? Ah, Anyuyuta. Say hi to her. Me? And how will I tell her? When? Now?

The doorbell rings.

Angela gets a little lost, briefly rushes between the receiver and the door, not knowing where to run, who to answer.

He returns to the phone again.

Angela (hurriedly, into the phone). Hello? Hello?

The phone is silent. Angela goes to open the door.

With a squeal, a squeak and all that is necessary in these situations, two friends fly into the apartment. Zoya and Anyuta. Both look great, both are on a marathon, in heels.

All three of them hug. Everyone is happy to see each other. Hugging, opening their arms.

Angela (happily, confused). How? Where are you from…

Zoya (interrupts, joyfully, emotionally, throwing off the cape and sheltering her casually where necessary). I'll tell you everything now! Listen up!

Anyuta (emotionally). You won't believe it! How small the world is, it's just some nonsense. (Immediately changes the subject and rushes to hug Angela again.) God, I've missed you so much, let me hug you again! I haven't seen Zoya as much…

Zoya (energetically, intricately). Girls, wait, I'm with you!!!

Zoya also joins the hugging.

All three of them rejoice, enjoy hugs, cling to each other. Friends are straight friends, where to go.

Angela (with interest). Girls, tell me how, what, where???

Anyuta (emotionally). We're telling you!

Zoya (seizing the initiative). Me first!

Anyuta (emotionally). Come on.

Angela (happily, confused). So, well?

Zoya (emotionally). In general, I came to the spa salon. I made an appointment for three hours, and calmly appeared to myself at the appointed time.

Anyuta (interrupts, emotionally, quickly pronouncing and at the same time actively gesticulating). And I also came by this time, because I also signed up for this salon, to the same master, and also for three hours!

Zoya (emotionally, to Anyuta). Yes, Aaaaaaaaaaa! Well, I'm telling you!

Anyuta (emotionally, without blaming herself too much, Zoike). Yes, you-you-you. Everything. Tell me.

Zoya (emotionally, to Anyuta). You've already told me everything yourself!

Anyuta (emotionally, to Angela). You understand, I've been going to this salon for the third year already! Raids, of course, not systematically …

Zoya (emotionally, Angela). I'm the fourth, Angel!

Anyuta (emotionally, to Angela). And not once, can you imagine? Zoika and I have never crossed paths!

Zoya (emotionally, to Angela). And this time there was something messed up. They took a new administrator, a young girl, well and…

Angela (astonished). Oooooballlldeeeet!!!

Zoya (emotionally, Angela). That's what I'm talking about!

Anyuta (emotionally, to Angela). And imagine, this klusha (Kindly mows and points to Zoika.) she didn't recognize me!

Zoya (emotionally, to Angela). It's not that I didn't find out. I saw that there was some kind of chicken behind me, but there was no time to look at it, because I was fighting with the administrator at that time!

Anyuta (emotionally, to Angela). And take the chicken, and shout at the brawler. Zoya already squinted at her feet!

Zoya (emotionally, to Angela). And you remember how Nyurka barked at school. Everyone there had diarrhea, then enuresis made itself felt. (With mockery.) The voice is "angelic".

Anyuta (emotionally, to Angela). Come on, so, I announced it half-heartedly… Lo and behold, this Zoya is standing, looking at me, and his eye twitches. And he can't understand anything that I'm pushing.

Zoya (emotionally, to Angela). And I, most importantly, turned around, I look, this abnormal one, the one who was yelling (Points in a friendly way at Anyuta.) He stands there and grins with his disproportionate mouth. Then I immediately remembered a Soviet joke, remember? "And I know this girl, she still walks and smiles."

Well, I think so to myself, now, I'll dry my pants, and I'll give a burn to this brisk bitch.

Anyuta (emotionally, to Angela). And the bitch is still standing, and smiling, and waiting for Zoya's memory to stir up …

Zoya (emotionally, Angela). And it stirred up, but not immediately! (To Anyuta.) Try to get to know you like this, without preparation. You've changed in everything and everywhere. Hair, figure, proportions… It's like you've become even taller!

Anyuta (emotionally, to her friends). Yes, it's just me in heels…

Zoya (emotionally). So I'm in heels! (He turns to Angela.) Tell me, Angel, you won't find out, will you?

Angela (emotionally, Anyuta). Yes, it's true, Anyut, I would have met you like this on the street passing by, I wouldn't have recognized you right away either… Well, you look great, pretty girl!

Anyuta is spinning, quite showing herself.

Anyuta (emotionally, joyfully, stopping spinning, to Angela). Angelka, how are you? Zoika and I have already talked, but I don't really know anything about you. Tell me!

Angela (emotionally). Oh, girls…, fall down, who's where, let's chat. That we're really on our feet…

sitting down.

Zoya and Anyuta look at Angela in anticipation.

Angela (emotionally, with intrigue). Looks like… I'm finally here… I pulled out my lucky ticket!

Anyuta (emotionally, joyfully). Oh…

Zoya (emotionally). Yes laaaaadno …

Angela (emotionally, with intrigue). Anyway, listen up. I forgot my license last week… well… driver's license. Here. And to nothing. And it had to happen that a traffic cop stopped me.

Anyuta (supporting). This is the law of meanness! It always works flawlessly.

Angela (emotionally, with intrigue). Yes! Well… I really still parked in the wrong place, just in front of this traffic cop. A relative fell on her tail, so I threw her to the subway. Well, in the center, you know, there is nowhere to stand. I'm right on the "dedicated" for public transport and parked. I dropped off a relative, just to leave, well, this one… with a wand to me: "Come here."

Zoya (with interest, sympathetically). Damn it… So, so what?

Angela (emotionally, with intrigue). I stop, open the window a little, ask "What"?

And he stands there, smiling, as if he got a five.

Anyuta (sympathetically). He also smiles. Uuu… bastard.

Angela (emotionally, with intrigue). No, he actually turned out to be normal. I've never met such traffic cops before. Well, judge for yourself. Anyway, he introduced himself… His name is still so interesting – Xenophon!

Zoya (with interest). Wow.

Angela (emotionally, with intrigue). Yeah. Documentaries, then, back and forth. I'm a grab, and there are no documents. I left it at home. I explained to him that, they say, so and so.

Anyuta (with interest). What's he doing?

Angela (with intrigue). And he offered to go to his car. I began to check my swallow on the databases. Now they have everything, all the data. Well, in the meantime, I checked, we talked so casually with him about life, and about how many different incidents there are on the roads. He checked everything, wished me a safe journey, told me not to park in the lane allocated for public transport anymore, and instead of a fine, he wrote out his phone number on a crumpled piece of paper. He said he wouldn't be offended if I called.

Zoya (with interest). So what? Did you call?

Angela (with intrigue). Girls, at first I wanted to throw out this piece of paper altogether, but I was too tired. And in the evening I remembered. I thought that he treated me like a human being somehow. So he smiled sincerely, because somehow he communicated warmly. In short, I did not offend him, yes, I called.

Zoya (emotionally). Yes laaaaadno …

Anyuta (with interest). Soooo, well, well?

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