Nikolay Lakutin - Hear or See? Play on 10,9,8 or 7 people. Fantasy. Drama (and oddly enough) Comedy

ATTENTION! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA AND INTERNATIONAL LAW, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. IT IS FORBIDDEN ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, CHANGES IN THE TEXT OF THE PLAY IN THE FORMULATION WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR. THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY IS POSSIBLE ONLY AFTER A DIRECT CONTRACT IS CONCLUDED BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.

A play for 10,9,8 or 7 people

Fantasy. Drama. Comedy. Duration is two hours.

A play in two acts.

PHILIP GEORGIEVICH-Director of the company, "happy owner" of the gift;

VACHAGAN-the question of who he is remains open to the viewer (the voice of the actor is required mysterious, voluminous);

YANA-Philip's wife;

JULIA – the mistress of Philip;

Yulechka's LOVER – a cameo role without words.

ANTON is an employee of the company, Logist;

YURI-employee of the company, Manager;

NATALIA VIKTOROVNA-company employee, accountant;

GENNADIEVICH-an employee of the company, a driver (preferably a tall actor with a tummy);

MARK-bum, tax collector, cameo role.

The play provides a record (the true thoughts of the characters) of almost all the characters. The sound engineer has a very serious job to do, but it's worth it.

The combination of roles:

Vachagan, Gennadievich and the lover of Yulechka or Vachagan and the lover can be played by one actor, at the discretion of the Director.

Mark and Yuri or mark and Anton are also interchangeable roles.

Three office desks, three office chairs, three laptops, an office phone, an office sofa, a cooler with a water bottle, a pile of documents. Scenography of the working office environment at the discretion of the Director.

The play also involves two different living spaces (no frills). Wardrobe, bed, chair, table, the rest is at the discretion of the Director.

To simulate a forest, you will need several Christmas trees (you can use artificial Christmas trees)

Small safe water explosive packages attached to the actor's body (preferably) or computer graphics simulating flying water splashes.

Safe fireworks that spray fireworks in a diameter of no more than 2 sq. m. (highly desirable)

For setting will require two large trained sheep dogs!!! (it is highly desirable), otherwise dummies or children dressed in authentic dog costumes will do, but the effect will not be the same.

From special effects, it is highly desirable to create snowfall, rain, thunder, as well as wind that reaches the audience (it is extremely and extremely desirable to implement all this)

The time of year of events is autumn (September – October)

Due to the complexity of this statement, the contract will provide for possible minor changes.

A small office sofa for visitors, on which, snoring, huddles heavy driver Gennady. Work desks, laptops at which the Manager Yuri and logistician Anton sit impressively, they are interested in a computer game of tanks, play with each other over the network. The noise of gunfire and the roar of engines comes from their computers. Accountant Natalia is engaged in pedicure, throwing her bare foot on her Desk, carefully displays the coating on her nails, while talking on a mobile phone with a friend, holding the phone with her shoulder to her ear. With all this, the working phone tube is torn, but there is no one to take it, everyone is "very busy".

Finally, Natalia can't stand it, glancing at the work phone several times and looking around, then picks up the phone.

NATALIA: (politely to your mobile) snezhinochka, could you wait a second. The phone is ringing under my ear, I can't hear you at all.

He puts down his mobile phone and puts the work phone to his ear.

NATALIA: (sternly, defiantly, boorishly) Yes! What do you want?

He listens to the phone, looks in the direction of the guys who are engaged in the game, turns to the phone.

NATALIA: (sternly, defiantly, boorishly) Yuri can't come to the phone right now, he has it… negotiations!

He listens to the phone, looks in the direction of the guys who are engaged in the game, turns to the phone.

NATALIA: (sternly, defiantly, boorishly) Anton is also busy right now. Do you think we sit around here all day waiting for your call? Avral, that you as a small! Call back in a minute… two hours.

Natalia looks doubtfully at the guys, who only begin to beat their fingers harder on the keyboard, their enthusiasm only increases.

NATALIA: (already moderately, without irritation) Although you know, call back better later in the evening, or even better tomorrow morning. I'll tell them you called, and if they're free, they'll call you back early. Good day.

Natalya hangs up, shakes her head in disapproval, and shouts at the guys.

NATALIA: Yura!

From the scream, the driver shudders on the couch, marking his experience of this gadfly with a particularly loud snore.

One of the guys reluctantly turns to Natalia.

NATALIA: (angrily) Yura, my e-my, I'm an accountant, not a Manager, why do your clients call me all the time, distract from work!

There is an explosive, furious, victorious laugh from Anton, who jumps up from his chair and gestures humiliatingly (preferably decently) at Yuri.

ANTON: (as emotionally as possible) That's it, baby, Yes!!! Ukontrapupil Gavrik. As to drink give otchekryzhil on one-two! On!!!

Yuri looks at his monitor in panic, realizes that he has lost, jumps out of the chair in horror, and starts yelling at Natalia.

YURI: (furiously, accompanying gestures) Natasha, mother peremat, to vymat to perejimati!!! Why are you distracting me at a time like this? I almost made it! And that you! (Brutally, inflating the veins on his neck from straining) Yyyyyyyyyyyyy!

NATALIA: (Yelling at Yuri) you deal with your clients first, then you will fill the Antonin hangar with your ammunition! You don't get any accounting calls, and I'm sick of your clients! Petropavlovsk called again, they still haven't received the cargo!

(turns to Anton, shouting) you, by the way, Antoshenka also concerns!

Anton stops making faces and dancing, which has been busy until now.

ANTON: I mean, Petropavlovsk. We shipped them everything two weeks ago.

NATALIA: (angrily, to Anton) Two weeks ago, this question was already removed a long time ago. They sent a new request, the invoice was issued and paid ten days ago. Have you forgotten?

Natalia looks in the direction of the sleeping driver.

NATALIA: (to the driver) Gennady, did you take the goods to the transport company in Petropavlovsk?

The driver is not responding, sleeping.

Natalya waves her hand in his direction.

YURI: (Natalia) what's on the bill? By what amount, from what date?

Yuri reaches into his laptop.

NATALIA: (to Yuri) there are two hundred and something thousand, I don't remember exactly. Look at the last bill from them.

Anton also goes to his laptop, looking for something there.

Natalia picks up her mobile phone, clips it back between her shoulder and ear and continues her pedicure session.

NATALIA: (into the phone, gently) yeah, Snezan. So what's up with that dog of yours?

Then he listens to the phone, nods, and paints his toenails.

Plays loud rhythmic music of a panicky nature (recommended Intro to " hymn of the fool»)

All office workers are scared.

The driver jumps like a scalded cat from the couch, rushes, runs to the side of the cooler. His face is sleepy and swollen (you may need makeup).

Yuri and Anton jump up from their seats, grab their heads, frantically start pounding on the computer keyboard, disconnect some cables, hide game disks, some records and magazines under the table, jump on their chairs, "stick their noses" in laptops, create the appearance of work.

Natalia with fright falls from her chair upside down, somewhere at the table, while only her painted leg remains in the field of view (to provide a soft safe fall).

A stern-looking Philip enters the office, dressed in a suit and holding a mobile phone. In the other hand, a work bag. Presses the phone button, the thundering music stops abruptly (the panic music is the soundtrack set as Philip's mobile phone ring).

Philip puts the phone to his ear.

PHILIP: (into the phone, sternly, loudly) Hello? Yes! Ya With me can agree on. What volumes are you interested in? (listens, expresses rejection on his face) Why are you calling me with your hundred kilos, we are a wholesale company, we work from a ton. Well, we can put five hundred kilos in exceptional cases, but no one will bother with a hundred here. You are welcome. Total…

Hang up. Dissatisfied with the situation in the office.

The driver is drinking water from a single Cup, squinting in the direction of Philip, trying to remain unnoticed.

Accountant Natalia rummaged under the table, trying to quickly put on shoes and quickly remove all unnecessary attributes of cosmetics.

Yuri and Anton casually, distracted from the pile of work, pay attention to the fact that the Director is in the office.

ANTON: (to Philip, as if surprised) Oh, Philip Georgievich! What are your fates? You were supposed to be on a business trip…

YURI: (to Philip) Good afternoon, comrade Director, what a pleasant surprise. And here we are already missing you. The office is boring, no one knows how to joke like you, everyone is sitting rotten stunted, but the work is really in full swing, here… from Petropavlovsk the order was knocked out for two hundred s …something like that. Snatched it can be said from the hands of competitors.

PHILIP: (to Yuri, sternly) what kind of order Is this? Which they paid for ten days ago?

YURI: (to Philip) Well… (improbably, wagging) they paid, then wanted to refuse, there someone offered them better terms, but in the end, thanks to my assertiveness and eloquence, we did not lose the client. All for the good of the company, Philip Georgievich, we try, we work!

Philip looks at Anton.

ANTON: (to Philip, nodding) yeah. All right. We work like hell.

PHILIP: (to Yuri and Anton) Well, I look, my eyes are so red. As if the day from the monitor did not leave. You at least have a rest sometimes, you can't do that either. There are, after all, regulations. No more than two hours in a row, then a fifteen-minute break. Have a Cup of tea, I've just brought it with me. I got off early, and the negotiations were easy.

Philip goes to the accountant's Desk, puts out sweets and cookies, and notices that Natalia is rummaging under the table.

Philip leans across the table and looks down at the accountant.

PHILIP: (Natalia) Good afternoon, Natalia Viktorovna!

Natalya looks out from under the table, confused.

NATALIA: (playfully) Hello, Philip Georgievich. Well, don't be so formal, Natalia Viktorovna…

PHILIP: (smiling) That's just me, which you can't say in a joke conversation.

All the employees of the office start laughing hard at once. The Director draws attention to the driver, who inadvertently gave himself away with a laugh.

PHILIP: (seriously) I Don't understand. Gennadievich. What are you doing here? Are you the driver or where? You've got a delivery schedule that's two weeks in advance, and everyone's pushing the deadline, and you're just hanging out here…

GENNADIEVICH: (stammering) Yes… Yes, I literally stabilizability to drink went. All in deliveries, working hard, and no honor! Why are you so quick, Philip Georgievich?