Florence Collymore - No Other Choice

I or better to say we killed him roughly one month after a mom’s “suicide”. I almost got caught before the reprisal of my siblings. But everything is okay right now, so do not worry if you do. I frankly was relieved after that. So many shitty situations happened in my life. I got such a great immune system that even a liar detector did not work on me. I was able to answer all the questions as they wanted me to. Later about it.

After his wife’s death, he started drinking even more. Almost every day he got home absolutely wasted which actually wasn’t really surprising. But one day he decided to beat the hell out of each member of the family. He started to beat my younger sister, then me, and then he became so brave and stupid that he started beating his sons which was kind of crazy. But it was fun. For the first time, my siblings and I had the opportunity to unite because we had the same enemy. However, that man took a knife, a really sharp one, and threw it at Steve. He got the knife in the arm. Gosh, he was injured really badly. The blood started to leak. That was the moment when I knew our dad was not going to survive through that night. And I was happy to realize it. Every fiber of my body was feeling relief. It was kind of shocking to be there, surrounded by the people who wanted revenge, witnessing the scene of murdering and being an accomplice.

That man was wasted and couldn’t control himself. He passed out three times. And when he was passed out for the last time, Steve ended up cutting his throat. It was awful. You should’ve seen that scene. It was disgusting. But we were all there together. Plus he ended up suffering, so we all helped Steve to get rid of the body. That’s what families do. They help each other out. I thought that after that we would always be friendly with each other but no. I’m not living in a fairytale, so I had to suffer new pain.

The sentence above perfectly describes my relationship with my sister. Moreover, it goes both ways. I would’ve been over the moon if she had eaten me. And she would’ve been extremely excited if she hadn’t been born alive. You probably guess that everyone has such a relationship among siblings. But how dare you say it before I even started digging in. So probably you are allowed to say it after reading this chapter.

She is 19, only 2 years younger than me. But it feels like she is 35 and has tried everything out here. Agnes started smoking at 11 years old, drinking at 12. She tried weed at 14 and went to harder drugs at 17. Honestly, she was almost dead because of them when I killed her. So, I feel like I was a blessing for her. She had her first boyfriend at 13, first kiss at 13, and first sex at 13. She got a boyfriend in March, and a kiss and sex were in April. Pretty lucky girl, isn’t she? Or better to use the past tense ‘wasn’t she’ because she is dead. Stupid joke, I know. You know what? I just realized that this whole situation with my family actually kind of seems like “Shameless”. I haven’t watched “Shameless” but I heard a lot about this TV show, so I feel like it seems like this. All members of the family are messed up. Each of them is an embodiment of some kind of sin. But they didn’t kill one another which is good.

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