Terry Brooks - A Knight of the Word

Nest shook her head noncommittally. 'Are you sure Ariel didn't bring me here to see you?'

His face remained expressionless. "Why don't we sit down and talk, little bird's Nest?°

He led her to a bench facing out toward the hater. A group of weathered men was sitting there, passing around a bottle and speaking in law voices. Two Bears said something to them in another language–and they rose at once and moved away. Two Bears took their place an the bench, and Nest sat dawn next to him.

`What did you say to them?' she asked.

He shrugged. `I told them they have no pride in themselves and should be ashamed: The copper skin of his blunt features tightened around his bones. 'We are such a sad and hopeless people. Such a lost people. There are some of us, it is true, who have money and property. There are some who have found a way of life that provides. But most of us have nothing but empty hearts and alcohol and bad memories. Our pride in ourselves was stripped away a long time ago, and we were left hollow. It is a sad thing to see. Sadder to live'

He looked at her. `Do you know what is wrong with us, little bird's Nest? We are homeless. It Is a bad way to be in the world. But that is how we are. We are adrift, tiny boats in a large ocean. Even those of us who have land and houses and friends and neighbours and some sort of life. It is a condition indigenous to our people. We bear a legacy of loss passed down to us by our ancestors. "We bear the memory of what we had and what was taken. It haunts us.'

He shook his head slowly. `You can be homeless in different ways. You can be homeless like those o£ my people you see here, living on the streets, surviving on handouts, marking time between the seasons. But you can be homeless in your heart, too. You can be empty inside yourself because you have no spiritual centre. You can wander through life without any real sense of who you are or where you belong. You coo exist without purpose or cause. Have you ever felt like that, little bird's Nest?'

`No' she said at once, wondering where he was going with this.

`Indians know;" he said softly. We have known for a long time. We are homeless in the streets and we are homeless m our hearts as well. We have no purpose in the world. We have no centre. Our way of life was changed for us long ago. and it will never return. Our new life is someone else's life imposed on us; it is a false life. We struggle to find our home, our centre, but it is as faded as the Sinnissippi. A building is a home if the people who inhabit it have memories and love and a place in the world. Otherwise, it is just a building, a shelter against the elements, and it can never be anything more. Indians know'

He bent close to her, pausing. `There are others who know this, too. A few, who have been uprooted and displaced, who have been banished to the road and a life of wandering, who have lost any sense of who they are. Some of these are like us men and women whose way of life has been taken from them. Some of them are looking for a way back home again. Maybe you even know one'

Nest stared at him in silence.

`Do you still have your magic?' he asked suddenly.

Caught off guard by the question, she fumbled for an answer. `I think so'

'Not sure, are you? Perhaps it has changed as you have grown?'

He nodded his understanding.

`It may be so. Everything changes with time's passage. Only change itself is constant. So you must adapt and adjust and remember to keep close what is important and not to forget its purpose. Remember when we sat in the park and watched the spirits of the Sinnissippi dance?''

She did. On the Fourth of July weekend five years earlier, at midnight, she had gone into the park she had grown up in, the park that Pick warded, to see of the spirits would speak to her. The spirits had came on Two Bears' summons, and they had danced in the starlit darkness and shown to Nest in a vision a secret her family had hidden from her. It had been the catalyst for her terrifying confrontation with her father, and it had probably saved her life. She had not understood it that way at the time; she had not understood much of what had happened to her that weekend until much later.

`We were searching for truths, you and I-me, about my people, and you. about your father.` He shook his mead. `Hard questions were needed to uncover those truths. But the truths define who we are. They measure our place in the world. That is why they have worth. We search and we learn. It is how we grow.'

He looked out over the bay. 'Do you think this country has changed much since we spoke last, little bird's Nest' Since you were a girl, living m the park of the Sinissippi? This is a hard question to answer, but the truth it masks needs uncovering. As a country, as a people, have we changed? On the surface we might appear to have done so, but underneath I think we are still the same. Our change is measurable, but not significant. We remain bent on destroying ourselves. We still kill each other with alarming frequency and for foolish reasons, and we begin the killing at a younger age. We have much to celebrate, but we live in fear and doubt. We are pessimistic about our own lives and the lives of our children. We trust almost no–one'.

`It is the same everywhere. We are a people under siege, walled away from each other and the world, trying to fend a safe path through the debris of hate and rage that collects around us. We drive our cars as if they were weapons. We use our children and our friends as if their love and trust were expendable and meaningless. We think of ourselves first and others second. We lie and cheat and steal in little ways, thinking it unimportant, justifying it by telling ourselves that others do it, so it doesn't matter if we do it, too. We have no patience with the mistakes of others. We have no empathy for their despair. We have no compassion for their misery. Those who roam the streets are vat our concern; they are examples of failure and an embarrassment to us. It is best to ignore them. If they are homeless, it is their own fault. They give us nothing but trouble. If they die, at least they will provide us with more space to breathe'

His smile was bitter. 'Our war continues, the war we fight with one another, the war we wage against ourselves. It has its champions, good and bad, and sometimes one or the other has the stronger hand. Our place in this war is often defined for us. It is defined for many because they are powerless to choose. They are homeless or destitute. They are a minority of sex or race or religion. They are poor or disenfranchised. They are abused or disabled, physically or mentally:, and they have forgotten or never learned how to stand up for themselves.

`But you and me, little birds Nest, we are different. We have advantages others do not. We have magic and knowledge and insight. We know of the ways, men destroy themselves and of the reasons they do so. We know the enemy who threatens us all. Because we know these truths, we arc empowered and we can choose the ground we would defend. We have an obligation and a responsibility to decide where we will stand'

He paused. 'I chose my ground a long time ago, when I returned from the Nam. I did so because after I died and came back to life, I was no longer afraid. I did so because even though I was the last of my people, I was made strong by the fire that tested me, and I was given purpose. You have been tested and given purpose, as well, You have been made strong. Now it is your turn to choose where you will stand'

Nest waited, impatient for the rest, guarded and edgy. On the sidewalk in front of her, close by the railing, the schoolchildren shrieked as a seagull dove over their heads in a wide sweep and soared away.

Two Bears locked her eyes with his. `Let me tell you a story. It is dust a story, but maybe it will speak to you. A long time ago, a servant of a very powerful lady carved a talisman to a man who had agreed to become her champion. This man was conscripted to fight in a good and necessary cause. He was to wield the talisman as a weapon in an effort to help turn aside an evil that threatened to destroy all. He was fearful of his responsibilities, but he was determined as well. He took the talisman from the servant and bore it into battle, and far many years he Fought bravely. His task was not easy, because the people he fought to protect often acted badly and foolishly, and by doing so they: did harm to themselves. But he retrained their champion nevertheless.

`Then something happened to hire, and he lost faith in his cause. He abandoned hope; he gave up his fight. He became one of those who are homeless in their hearts. He despaired of who he was, and he thought to change everything about himself. He ran away to find a place to start over'

Two Bears looked around speculatively.' He might even have carne to a city like this. This is the kind of city a man might flee to, if he were looking to begin again, don't you think, little bird's Nest?'

Her heart was hammering in her chest.

`Now the lady who had sent her servant to give this man her talisman was very disappointed in his failure to keep his promise to her. Shhh! Listen now, don't interrupt. Ask yourself what you would do if you were the lady in question. Your talisman is in the hands of a man who will not use it, but cannot give it back. A talisman once given cannot be returned. The magic does not allow for it

He smiled. `Or so the story goes. At any rate, the lady sent someone to talk to this man, a young woman. As a matter of fact, she was someone very much like you. She was the man's friend, and the lady thought she might be able to persuade him of the danger he faced if he continued to ignore who he was and what he had promised. The lady thought the young woman was his best hope'

His eyes glistened. `Picture how this must be for the young woman. She is faced with a difficult task. She must find a way to help her friend, even though he does not wish her help. She must help him, because he has no one else and no other hope. The young woman is like you, little bird's Nest. She has magic at her command, and she has been tested by fire. She has a strength and purpose lacking in others.'

He paused. And so she must deride where she will stand. Because of who she is. Because, as with you and me, she has an obligation and a responsibility to do so.'

Nest shook her head in dismay. `But I don't know what. .'

A big hand came up swiftly to cut her short. 'Because, if the young woman does not help him,' he said carefully, his rough voice leaning he heavily on each word, 'he will be lost forever.'

She nodded„ her breath tight in her throat.

`Because, if the young woman fails. the lady has made other arrangements' Two Bears leaned so close that his broad face was only inches from her own. His voice became a whisper. `She cannot allow her champion to serve another cause, one that would be harmful to her own. She cannot allow her talisman to fall into the hands of her enemies'

There was no mistaking his meaning‑It was the same message the Lady had given Ariel. If John Ross succumbed to the Void, he would be killed. But how did you kill a Knight of the Word? Who was strong enough? Who had a weapon more powerful than his?

Two Bears rose abruptly, and she with him. They stood close, looking out over the bay. The wind blew in chilly gusts off the water, causing Nest to shiver.

'As I said, it is only a story. Who knows if it is true? T here are so many stories like it Fairy tales. But the young woman reminded me of you' Two Bears folded his massive aims. `Tell me. If you were the young woman in this story, what would you do?'

She looked up at him, tall, broad–shouldered, and implacable. She was suddenly frightened. `I don't know: