Darina Grotto - Unlimited

‘No, no. Kharon, that won’t work…’

‘It’s all useless… I want to get your honesty, Victoria, and how I’m supposed to get it without being in your mind?’

She closed her eyes, gritted her teeth because of the man’s pressuring, threw back her head and soundlessly squeaked. At that time the demon was covering the twisted corridors and halls of consciousness and subconsciousness looking for the answers.

‘Here they are,’ he whispered, stronger pressing the girl’s head. ‘You can stand it a little more… I’ll get them out.’

A minute had passed before Kharon let go of the exhausted girl. He relaxed his hands, gently kissed her lips and stepped back, having turned away from Vic.

‘I’m not a murder, dear.’ He said with his back on her.

‘What are you talking about?’

‘I’m not a murder but you make me be.’ Kharon turned to her. ‘I’m really sorry that it’s me who has to do it as no one will.’

‘What are you talking about, Kharon? You’re scaring me…’

‘Tell me, Victoria, what on earth prompted you to think so?’ He folded his arms. ‘What was your logic?’

Vic frowned and had a blank nervous look, looking at the man.

‘Now you don’t understand what I’m speaking about, do you?’ the man came up to her again, grabbing gently for her shoulders. ‘You make me kill your hope.’

‘My hope?’ Victoria had a lump in her throat as she started getting what a hope murder Kharon was speaking about. ‘No, Kharon, don’t. Don’t shoot from the hip…’

‘I saw it in your thoughts. Is that old woman who gave it to you? Why did you believe her so ridiculously?’

Someone coughed and steps were heard. Kharon let the girl and stepped back. It was the first time in his life he felt so strange. He looked at a stranger, at his leaving shadow and didn’t understand his feeling that had appeared with the stranger together. That was the first step of shame.

‘The Devil’s bride doesn’t mean, dear, that you’re the one. There are no weddings in my world.’

‘No, there aren’t, but there are in my world!’ Vic interrupted him, grabbing his hand. ‘There are weddings in my world. There are brides and fiancées… There’s love. All of it exist in my world. And I have right to dream about it. You can’t make me stop doing it. You can’t. There are lots of things in my world which hardly can happen in yours and they’re immune to you. But it means nothing, does it? Jesus, Kharon…’ Victoria put her hands on her head, being shocked with the conversation. ‘I’m in shock indeed! I’ve never thought that living in your world is torn to pieces and wounded with stereotypes and prejudices which you’re not able to get rid of!’

The girl experienced great desperation. No, it wasn’t about the man. No. She was upset with that fact that some things didn’t depend neither on you nor your surroundings.

‘What’s it, Vic?’ the demon asked, touching his left side of his chest. ‘I can feel your feelings. How do you call it? I wanna know…’

‘It hurts now, and I feel desperation because of your words. I don’t like it and I’m hurt. I would call all of it disappointment…. Let’s go. We’re wet through. This conversation happened too early and now I’m catching up to it. Not for all the world borrow this dispiriting feeling for yourself. Nothing can change my feelings to you, but death can.’

Disappointment. What was the level of it? Was it a strong sense? What was going to be after? There was a small of human senses into insensitive depth of the demon and now he was preoccupied and tried to understand what and why. Most of all he wanted to know why. Why could people experience those terrible feelings? Why couldn’t they reject to experience them, harking after other feelings? Why did people like being disappointed? For a month of being with people Kharon had time to know what joy meant. Why not to use this perfect ability to be happy… What stupid things those two-legged creatures were. They had so wide range of positive thinking, but they ate dirty and garbage without stopping.

‘Ok, Victoria. At this time of day, I got your mind. Thank you. I’ll take this lesson into account. I’d like to tell you something about the man you had dinner with. There’s a thing for you creeping in his heart that you call affection. Certainly, it’s not a love. I don’t feel him feeling the way you do towards me. But as I see all people can fall in love. But, saying it in your language he’s ready to let you see what can be done in his bed.’

Victoria was listening so-called exciting story about her boss and instead of understanding the news she tried to realize if there was a share of jealousy in Kharon’s words, whose love she wanted to arouse. Just a little of jealousy… But she was either deaf or there was no jealousy. Kharon just spoke like a morning greeting or what’s up.

They went away from the Garden Ring Road to Tverskaya Street at Mayakovskaya metro station and headed towards the Red Square. It was the first time they kept silence for a long time. They both had something to think over. At that moment they both were ok. Kharon couldn’t and didn’t want to get into Victoria’s mind and one could hardly get into his except Lucifer. They gave a little time to each other to think over something, work on misunderstandings.

When they were at Pushkinskaya Square Kharon stopped and looked at a big building, proudly elevated behind the monument.

‘Why did you never tell me what a building it is?’ he asked Victoria.

‘This one?’ the girl nodded at the building. ‘This is a cinema. You’ve never asked me.’

‘What’s the sound?’ Kharon asked under his breath turning to Vic. ‘You… Is this a chatter of your teeth? Why are you doing it?’

‘Kharon,’ she smiled, rubbing her sniffly nose, ‘people usually do it in two cases: when we’re afraid or cold.’

‘You have no fear now that means you’re cold… Cold…’ Kharon repeated mysteriously, ‘I see, once I saw a young man put his jacket on a girl in the cold evening… I’ll give you my coat.’

Victoria kindly smiled and stared at Kharon watching him build his logic chain in his head and she looked forward to waiting for it to be done. Kharon quickly unbuttoned his coat, easing down when undid the last buttons.

‘But it’s wet… through. It’s the same as yours and that’s why your teeth are chattering… Oh people… What’s going on in cinemas? Can we go there to get warm?’

‘Sure, let’s go. Moreover, we can watch a film. A cinema is the place where you can watch films.’

‘Really?’ Kharon ‘Then let’s go. By the way why do people go to the cinemas if they have TV and internet at homes where they can watch the same?’

‘Oh, Kharon, it’s so meaningful question it can be answered for a long time and in a variety of ways. Any cinema isn’t just a place to watch a new film, catch a break with no sleeping. You can get new emotions, sympathize or be happy for the main characters. You can be upset a little bit because all that is showed in films never happens in life. Or you can breathe a sigh of relief that things you see are just film and nothing more. So, any cinema is nothing more but the place where you can get emotions. Couples often go to the cinema. They are there to enjoy each other and don’t care about the actions on the screen. As a rule, if you ask them what the film is about, they hardly would remember its title.’

‘Umph…’ the man looked at the girl attentively and smiling. ‘Then we have several reasons to get there.’

There was a world drama on the screen which everyone knew by not a generation. It was the Titanic.

First twenty minutes of the film Kharon was busy with his girl. He kissed her fingers, warming them up with his breath, rubbing her skin, warming up her chilled hands. He embraced Victoria softly rubbing her shoulders, awaking her endless passion. The man intently looked at the sitting near girl. He wasn’t interested so much in actions on the screen. He was more interested in Victoria.

Twenty minutes later the demon glanced at the huge screen and… Victoria lost an interlocutor in him. The demon of lust was buried with unbelievably beautiful and incomparable frames.

‘Who’s it?’ he asked Victoria having seen a red-haired girl on the screen, standing on the deck.

‘The main character of the film. Haven’t you seen the beginning?’ Vic smiled, stroking his hand.

‘No, honestly I’ve been busy with your chilled hands and I wish we had been at home in bed. I’d have warmed you up faster. You’d have been exhausted with unexpected heat… Then I saw this beautiful woman. Why does she look like this?’

‘Are you about her dress? It’s the beginning of the XX century, Kharon. All looked like her then. I think you were with women at that time, weren’t you? Obviously with no dress. Films can show you features of the past and even future. So, there’s nothing surprisingly.’

‘I see.’

Kharon looked back at the screen where one of the main characters tried to speak with the red-haired girl. That’s all the man was consumed with the frames.

Victoria even didn’t try to prevent him from watching this splendid film about love. She was surprised and fun a bit that the demon who was thousands of years old was interested so much in the dramatic film, you can say, even girlish. Of course, all his life Kharon had deals only with women and their sacrament parts of bodies. He knew nothing about what existed in human world and what for. The demon had the better day at that moment: there was no definition of a film for boys or girls. He knew nothing about gender separation. He didn’t know that he had to pretend saying “ugh, this is the wimpy drama for stupid first-year girls and this one is for the real men”. There was not a touch of stereotypes imposed by the society. He had no need to be cool at work for workers in the mornings. He was completely independent of society and its venal opinion. He didn’t even know that he was watching girlish film absolutely. And the best of all was that Kharon didn’t imagine and think that after watched the film he would have no need to say “ugh what a shit” , giving 105 Oscar reward to the actors and director in depths of his heart. The demon just watched the film, giving birth to his pure opinion.

There was love raised in the screen. True and sincere one could ever happen between a man and a woman. Kharon followed that love very attentively. He followed the young man’s actions, his emotions and experienced feelings, the moves of his lips and loudness of his words.

He observed the girl and her emotions, experienced feelings also. He felt such tenderness walking between the two main characters. He had never felt nothing of that with women before. He didn’t because he didn’t believe or despise but he just didn’t know that he could do it, he had a right to do it.

He watched the scene of shipwreck with his opened mouth and getting frozen heart. The enormous thing in all subtexts, in historical and perfection especially, was destroyed by nature… The demon couldn’t believe his eyes: how did people manage to build such unusual miracle covered with luxury? Why did absurdity happen to it? With one slight move nature razed that huge ship to the dust, showing people what they fought against, reminding them of that they shouldn’t think they were gods. Nothing was eternal, everything had the end.

There was a scene, where light hardly begun to live love tried to survive with the help of the hands: they both wanted to be saved to keep their love. Kharon was very interested to watch both of them. He carried about them, soundlessly whispering where they had to ran, where they would probably find the rescue. With curiosity he watched the second beloved man, his insult and humiliation. He also was in love with the red-haired girl.