Robert Sheckley - Kenny

KENNY AND THE REST OF The People were in the hold of the spaceship as it continued its interminable trip through space. There were about a hundred of The People lying naked together in a big tangled mass in the ship's hold. This was not due to lack of room, however: the hold was immense. When there was nothing else to do, The People liked being all crowded together, deliciously sprawled on top of one another. They liked this more than reading or playing computer games — skills they had learned, laboriously and tentatively, from The Masters. They preferred to lie coiled together, erogenous areas sometimes delightfully touching, sometimes delightfully almost touching.

Apart from eating, sleeping, and eliminating, they had been lying in this tangle since the nearly forgotten day when The Masters had led them aboard the ship.

But now something had changed. Kenny raised his head. "I sense something!" he cried.

The others looked up and tuned in. Kenny was the one who usually detected things first. But now they all sensed it.

"Yes! What is it?"

"It's a planet! I sense a planet!"

Planetfall, at last! Just as the Masters had promised!

In a flash, The People were lifted from their erotic somnolence. The pleasures of their long idleness forgotten, they untangled themselves, got up, began jumping around and jabbering at each other. A planet, at last! The end of their long wait, the end of the endless journey! Now they could all sense the new place, looming up ahead of them in the sterile darkness of space.

Kenny said, "I must go to the Captain! I must find out when we are to start exploring!"

The others nodded. It hadn't occurred to them to visit the Captain. They thought the Captain would come to them when he decided to, when he had finished doing his other, more important things. But of course, Kenny was right.

Kenny was a tall, lean, brownish-red Person in the prime of life. He undogged the hatch and went out into the corridor. It was a long corridor with even lighting. There were signs pointing in the direction of officers' country. Kenny started out walking, but soon he was trotting, then running, because the great day was finally here.

He went to an elevator, pushed a button, and waited, dancing up and down with anticipation. The doors opened. Kenny hesitated a moment, wondering if he should have put on clothing before visiting the Captain. But no one had told him he had to. The People didn't bother wearing clothing. Not without a reason. And aboard the ship, with its even temperature, there seemed no reason for it.

One more corridor, and then he was at the door leading into Master's Country. Kenny paused, took a deep breath — this was a big moment —then opened the door and walked in. It only occurred to him later that perhaps he should have knocked first.

There was the Captain and the other ship's officers, sitting m front of their screens. At first no one noticed Kenny, so engrossed were they. They were playing one of the computer games that had been the rage back on their home planet. Kenny stood in the room waiting to be recognized. Through the main port he could see the planet, green and blue, coming up ahead of them. Automatics were bringing the ship to a safe landing. But still no one paid any attention. Until Kenny finally said, "Hey, doesn't someone want me to do something?"

"What?" The Captain was a short, pale, skinny Master, with a big head and large pop-eyes. He looked up, blinking. During the game, he had been practicing one of the narrowing trances, and it had been going very well. Regretfully he let his consciousness swim back to the surface of now, the unremitting now, the eternally disappointing now.

"We've arrived at the new place," Kenny said.

The Captain glanced at his instruments, then out the port. "Yes, so we have."

"In fact, we have landed."

"That's the usual procedure," the Captain said.

"I think it's customary now for the exploring phase to begin."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You know, sir. The purpose of our mission. To find out if this planet will support life-forms of The People and The Masters."

"Ah, yes," the Captain said. "The purpose of it all. I had forgotten for the moment. These great conceptions get lost in the facticity of the moment. Exploring a new planet! Of course! How important! And yet, how droll, when you come to think of it."

The Captain turned to the other crew members sprawled on the deceleration couches. "Mandragan! Dexter! We're here!"

Mandragan was short and pale and skinny. He had a big head, like the Captain. He stirred sleepily. "I was having such a wonderful dream! Must we do this now?"

"Dreams later," the Captain said. "Now it is time for exploring."

Dexter, the observer, was a little taller than either the Captain or Mandragan, but he looked a lot like them.

Mandragan said, "Lot of nonsense, if you ask me. New worlds, indeed! Isn't it obvious that real exploration is into the wonder of ourselves, rather than into the banalities of the external?

The Captain said, "Very true! But we must abandon the delights of introspection and discursive philosophy and attend to the moment. Gentlemen, we are here!"

Kenny cried, "Hurray!" and did a standing somersault, landing on his feet.

The Captain said, "Kenny, what was that all about?"

"An expression of pleasure, Master."

"I don't remember anyone programming you for that."

"It was spontaneous, Master. An expression of my pleasure at being on this long-awaited planet. Can The People go out and explore now?"

"I suppose it's what we came for," the Captain said.

Dexter had taken out his pad and stylus and was busy recording the moment. He looked up. "By the way, does this planet have one or two suns? I forgot to check as we came in. Though I suppose I could look now."

"Don't bother," The Captain said. "Kenny and the other People are going out there. They will look for us. Won't you, Kenny?" "I'm eager to start exploring," Kenny said.

"I'm eager to start exploring," Kenny said.

"Of course you are," the Captain said, his tone condescending. "But that's what we created The People for, isn't it?"

"So I have been told, Master," Kenny said.

KENNY LEFT to collect the rest of The People. Dexter said to the Captain, "So here we are, spreading human life to the stars. Quite a moment."

"I suppose so," the Captain said. "For those who are moved by such things. Back in the old, naive days, there were some who believed that the purpose of life was the mere perpetuation and continuation of life. They used to get all misty-eyed at the idea of spreading human life to distant planets. They could think of no greater purpose than to extend their species to some other planet, perhaps one with two suns. Do you think that's what it's all about, Dexter?"

"I believe it has something to do with spreading intelligence throughout the universe," Dexter said.

The Captain smiled "That's what you and I are about, Dexter. We are the representatives of intelligence. Anti the purpose of intelligence is to develop to the point of putting itself out of business."

Kenny and the other People came racing down the gangplank ad onto the surface of the new planet. They paused a moment to sniff the air and taste the soil. It didn't kill them so they started running toward a nearby forest. They were a stream of people, large and robust, and variously colored white, red, black, yellow and brown, running upright for the most part although a few went on all fours.

"Look at them run," Dexter said, standing at the port. "How high they leap! It's almost as though they had wings!"

"Our scientists did consider giving them wings," the Captain said. "I believe one or two models were even tried. But discontinued. The weight-to-lift ratios were all wrong. Esthetically pleasing, however. Personally, I'm glad they stuck with the standard model. It's been around for millions of years, but it's still the best."

"Anything to drink around here?" one of The People asked, pausing at the fringe of the forest.

Kenny sniffed. "Water a couple of miles away, a lake I think! Straight ahead!" He and the others rushed into the forest.

Dexter and the Captain watched from the ship. They saw The People enter the woods and vanish from view.

"Will they come back to report on the water?" Dexter asked.

"No need," the Captain said. "I'm in telepathic contact with them. Kenny will report to me."

"Convenient," Dexter said.

"Saves lugging around a lot of equipment."

"What happens if the water poisons them?"

"We'll have to do something about that. Or perhaps find another planet."

"But The People will be dead."

"Plenty more where they came from," The Captain said.

Kenny reported, "The water is good, Masters. Everything here is good. Oh, there are some things not good to eat or drink, but they are minor, insignificant, easily avoided, the sort of thing you could find anywhere, even back home. Your own bodies are equipped to handle anything this planet has to offer. Now will you join us?"

"We can't land the ship in the forest. But our radar shows an open space a few miles ahead."

"I can sense it, Master."

"Good. We'll meet you there."

Kenny loped off in the direction of the open space, the other People following. He wondered, not for the first time, why the Masters were so lazy. They went everywhere by machine. And when they needed to check something, they constructed an instrument instead of doing it themselves. Or they created The People to do it for them. The Masters were strange!

But why had they constructed The People to be able to move around on their own, even to make decisions, to try things out? That was supposed to be the Masters' job. Why had they given The People intelligence and autonomy, instead of using those things themselves? Was it because they were too lazy? Did they really think it was better to sit around playing games?

He knew how the Masters thought about them. They considered The People nothing more than intelligent multipurpose instruments, self-propelling. But surely they were more than that? Otherwise, why bother to create them?

The Captain stood at the port, looking out on the planet. All of The People were out of sight now. He sighed.

"Well, then," he said, "shall we get on with it?"

"To the rendezvous, sir?" Dexter said. "I'm ready."

"We're not going to the rendezvous! Really, Dexter, I thought you'd have caught on by now."

"Caught on? I'm afraid I don't understand, sir."

"Where we're going should be obvious. You young people can be a little obtuse."

Dexter was well over a thousand years old. Nothing to the Captain's estimated five thousand, but old enough to assume maturity. But still, he made no comment.

"Obvious, sir? Is it obvious to The People as well?"

"No, not to those dummies!"

"Is there some other rendezvous point, sir?"

"Yes. Code name, home."

Dexter gaped.

"Real name, home, too."

"I don't understand, sir."

"You don't? It's really very simple. We're going back to our own planet."

"But The People —"

"They'll stay here, of course."

"But no one's warned them!"

"They'll figure it out. Maybe in a month or two, or a year or two, when they finally figure out we aren't coming back."

"But we're leaving them without any tools — weapons — food —"

"Plenty to eat here. Kenny said so himself. As for weapons, tools -well, they'll figure all that out for themselves. Maybe lose a few people, but the rest'll be okay."

Dexter wasn't so sure. "There are only a hundred of them. They've barely scratched the surface of this planet. One bad break and they could all be wiped out."