Антон Калинин - Factory

I

In one beautiful country X, there were two companies engaged in very non-standard informal activities in the field of medicine and pharmaceuticals. But they didn't produce pills. They were engaged in the production of global inventions that affect human health in a positive way. The speaker of “Factory N” Gennady Bismuth surpassed the uniqueness of the products of the company “Factory Z”, which was owned by his competitor Peter Anionov. Bismuth had a team of his schoolmates under his command: Evgeny Wolframov, Alexey Brom and Georgy Azotoshtyan. Anionov also had assistants: Nikolai Benzolov, Yan Vodorodov and Vladimir Neonov. Both speakers were very talented, but the reason for their talent was truly terrifying. Both Anionov and Bismuth had a neck injury (note not the brain), but taking into account the fact that about 80% of unfortunate newborns, according to statistics, get this injury thanks to "virtuoso" obstetricians, for many this fact is as familiar as the flu or sore throat. Another thing is that the environment forms a personality. And the stronger a person's conviction of his own uniqueness, the more he will achieve a priori from the pressure from our "sweetest" society. Due to this disorder, blood circulation in the brain area was characterized by increased cerebrospinal fluid dynamics. Sometimes the blood tides were so strong that young scientists could write business plans, develop strategies like an automaton or a robot. Everyone around at the sight of such productivity simply lost the gift, but the loyal staff of assistants, unlike casual visitors, knew the reverse side of the coin. After 5-6, and sometimes 2-3 hours of such work, the forces rapidly began to leave the "prodigies". Weakness, bad mood, a sense of their own uselessness, worthlessness, and most importantly the transience of the picture of the world (which I wanted to change so much) rolled over. The cervical vertebrae in the c5-c6 area began to ache. And the bosses sat with their eyes downcast in papers, veins swelled on their temples and forehead, the blood flow literally carried them from the inside, the head fell off (as if the execution on the scaffold was half carried out). Peter called the secretary Malvina, and Gennady – Albina and asked to bring coffee. It is noteworthy that in childhood, from one glass of Coca-Cola, blood gushed from the nose of current scientists like a fountain. And now what they were forbidden was at least some kind of panacea. Each of the competitors cursed the "spastic torticollis" and vowed to open a "vaccine" against this vile disease of the 21st century. The drugs only aggravated what wasn't there. The infusion helped more, but only for a while. The study has repeatedly shown that both the neck and the brain and the distance between the skull and the brain are ideal, well, just go to Mars, but just a pinch in the neck area near the back of the head turned these worthy people "whales of a unique business industry" into stooped, insecure personalities with a displaced binocular, pleading with an absurd pathetic "tenor" of their miracle secretaries about making them tea or coffee, well, to be stronger and without sugar, so as to "disperse the lava". The scientists, like their teams, were only 25 years old, but they tasted all 50 torments. It was the torment that spurred Gennady Bismuth to create, and Alexey Anions to "rewrite", adjusting it to his concept (he acted dishonestly towards Factory N). Like all creative people, scientists considered themselves old. Although if they were only five years old, on the contrary, they would consider themselves insufficiently competent. Due to the displacement, slight wrinkles formed on the foreheads of scientists, which began to form from the age of fifteen. Due to the damage to the shoulder girdle, the scientists did not train, and remained asthenics with a deficiency in the body mass index of 16, or even 20 kilograms. While the subordinates successfully managed to celebrate the wedding, the speakers remained in an "active search" At first it really amused. And the great scientists of the new formation had both many positive qualities and disadvantages. Both Anionov and Bismuth had a unique quality of finding flaws in everything, even in the most beautiful and unselfish girls, so they often changed them, while they worried about each until they lost their pulse. However, like many similar people, they were enemies. They constantly competed, starting from the school bench. But Bismuth was in the lead in terms of generating ideas. And Anions are part of the trick. The latter copied and turned the ideas of the former into "remakes". This made the director of “Factory N" even more angry. The internal conflict of these great talents helped, with the help of unique physiotherapy from steam, to treat cancer, heart, lungs, but they still needed to improve their ideas, perfectionism was in the blood of Bismuth, and Anions also did not lag behind in terms of "rewrite". Also, scientists were real stoics, no matter how much their inventions were not cheated in the press, no matter how society laughed at them behind their twisted backs and no matter how their passions were insulted, which they got rid of so quickly. Inventors found time for self-education, sports, travel, the latter they liked the most, because there was a more tolerant attitude to human ailments in the world than in country X. They were both legally and psychologically savvy, but it didn't bring them happiness. Moreover, the more patents they invented, the more unhappy they became. For example, when a year passed, Anionov told his team: we have aged another year of the lord. Bismuth also stated to his team: how I want to go back to the time that was a year ago, relive the events, meet new people again, get a chance to show my best side to that brunette or that blonde over there, but this is no longer possible, she blocked my number.

II

The working day was gushing with ideas as always. Company "N" developed the elixir of youth. The goal was set. Ordinary pills for various ailments had side effects: cancer, ulcer, Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, sinus tachycardia, extrapyramidal disorders and other charms, a priori depending on the age of the person. "Factory N" set the task to create a sublime achievement – an elixir of steam in the cabin, like a shower, which will absolutely rejuvenate, treat everything including the musculoskeletal system, help a person achieve harmony worse than in karate "do". Simply put, they decided to make the existing couples, whom they have so far treated only cancer, heart and lungs, a universal "weapon" to combat old age and diseases. And Anionov was already rubbing his hands to redo the concept of the cabin design, and leave the steam the same, in other words, steal the idea, as usual. The presentation of the patent was held at an international conference. Bismuth came on stage and began his speech: "Hello, gentlemen! Up to the age of 16, I tried to be philosophical about my appearance," the scientist began, "I was absolutely flat on the comments of narrow–minded teenagers about my intelligence, which for some strange reason they associated with my twisted neck. I do not argue, I still see a similar reaction from the outside, however, already hidden in my presence. And so, dear friends, we live in the 21st century and are well aware that a set of external phenotypic characteristics does not always reflect the content of an individual's personal qualities. Narrow-minded teenagers are such because of excessive harmonics and lack of life experience, with rare exceptions. When adult adequate people with a scientific degree and other set of attributes with which they demonstrate their legal personality behave like immature teenagers, the question arises: are we stuck in the primitive communal period when a pithecanthropus could be afraid of an opponent if he was taller and thicker than him, which did not mean that he was stronger, but only created an appearance. Apparently, the molecules in the neurons and capillaries of modern people have not changed. And now I would like to focus on the beautiful ladies of our era, whom I love and respect very much (at this moment loud female applause rang out). How many times dear, lovely, adored young brunettes walk down the street with a similar injury to the c5-c6 vertebrae, they are so cute, but with this terrible defect, my soul just smoulders like a cloth after bleach when I see them. I'm a man, I went to the fight with this injury, there were throws, punches and many other things, I don't care. But when I see cute girls who are going to become moms with this problem, I just barely hold back a stingy male tear. Here I look at how small and at the same time strong she is: she keeps herself in shape, and is smart and has realized herself in the profession. The universe, why did you punish her like that? And 9 out of 10 beauties, well, it would be a rarity. The main problem is the obstetricians, they took it out, turned their neck and live as you want, oh, say thank you for life, otherwise you wouldn't be at all. And then bullying, gaslighting, bullying and other joys. It's good if the environment is also good, and they form a personality. And you would like a diagnosis of "torticollis" for your children, especially for your daughters. My team and I have developed a unique remedy for everything, including this terrible disease, besides, we will all live forever now, and think better than any exact science, more crystal than precious metals – I promise you that. In order not to be unfounded, now I will show you our miracle invention. After that, a miracle cabin was brought into the hall. Look, I have wrinkles, but you didn't hear wrong already at 25, neck injury, red eyes after the computer, and it's also July, I overheated, and my ICP jammed again, it's good that there's no blood coming out of my nose, and you know what it's like to talk to ladies like this, honestly, I wouldn't care if the articulation apparatus didn't fail, and after all, speech in a person is everything, today is definitely a good day, now I'll go into this cabin, and in 15 minutes you won't recognize me and you'll never see me in a "pre-stroke state" again. It took 15 minutes when the door opened, the inventor came out, he looked like he could have been 20 years old, the neck really straightened out, the eye pressure also disappeared, and any other pressure, it was an ideal person. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, the scientist said our new patent, my dear colleagues Bromine, Azotoshian and Wolframov will demonstrate. The first has cirrhosis, the second has an ulcer, the third has impotence, but do not be surprised, nowadays not only souls age faster than bodies, as well as organs and the central nervous system, but we will fix it. Another 45 minutes passed, during which time three employees came out of the three compartments of the booth at once, also perfectly healthy both mentally and physically. For visual confirmation, the presentation was attended by devices that measured the indicators necessary for anamnesis, which simply did not exist. "I would like to continue my speech," Bismuth exclaimed cheerfully, "as you can see, my invention is by no means a quackery and not a figment of your imagination. The parameters were configured so that I eliminated absolutely all the shortcomings, both external and internal. But I left this small scar on my forehead – this is my uniqueness, I got it when I hit the fireplace at the age of four, because they were afraid to sew it up, it remained for life and I have to admit that it suits me, a small "accessory" for brutality. Now I would like to invite my beloved secretary Arina. Look gentlemen at this "chrysanthemum", did this beautiful, young, petite, kind, intelligent, purposeful girl deserve to have a neck clamp all her life? Intracranial hypertension? Do you really think that her face is arrogant, and she is heartless? Question to the audience (to those who do not have the "happiness" to have such a disease), would you look different in her place? The poor girl is holding on so much from the pain in the cervical region, didn't she deserve to get rid of this damned disease? Look at her: she is perfect, if it were not for this small nuance, you know that a carriage and a small cart of different–class cavaliers pay attention to her anyway, she could be Miss universe if she did not have this defect, and her self-confidence would reach 500% – reasonable selfishness.