Таня Д Дэвис - Полёт фантазии, фантазии в полёте

— «Fine, thanks. You know he received a prize for his last screen play».

My God, still writing those idiotic screen plays, making money out of fools, sooner or later you will turn into a fool, too.» — Jim used to say. «Is this really true?» — wondered Julia, — «what had become of Jim’s talent, of his soul? If only I could find out! But what if I… Oh, what a brilliant idea!»

The next morning Julia stood in front of the now familiar Dickesian door with golden letters determined to have a business conversation with the owner of the Human Soul Travellers Club. Mr. Toffiles greeted her like an old friend and without waiting for her to enquire offered a colourful leaflet, provided full details about human soul travelling.

«After passing a medical test the customer is provided with a traveller’s card, which enables him to make three tours, joining three soul-bearers. HSTC is responsible for the client’s body while his soul is on tour. HSTC ambulance (number plate HX 0103) is due to fetch the client’s body within five minutes after switching and take it to the waiting room of the HSTC. The traveller can use the right of extra-switching in case he cannot adjust to the mental atmosphere of his soul-bearer. Any interference in other people’s affairs on the part of the traveller or any attempt to influence their behavior will be penalised».

Julia’s common sense and curiosity were fighting so vigorously that her head began to ache.

«Well, Mr. Toffiles», — she said. — «I think I’m going to try, but there’s some points which I’d like to clarify. Do I choose my soul-bearers only from the list offered by your agency or am I free to join any person I want?»

— «You can choose either from the list or make your own choice. It’s up to you. But the advantage of our list is that it gives the name of people, who are going on tours to places our customer would like to visit. For example, if you pay one hundred pounds we shall immediately supply you with a list of people, who are going to visit China in the very near future».

The temptation was so great that Julia yielded. Curiosity won the battle. Julia paid 100 to the porcelain beauty, received the list of potential soul-bearers and the white plastic card with three red spots to check her tours, put her signature to a document, certifying that she had been acquainted with the rules of human soul travelling, and left the agency.

At home Julia didn’t even look at Mr. Toffiles’ list for she was quite certain whom she would join first. Jim! That fool Jim whom she had once loved so much and who had preferred Helen’s charms to her fidelity. In their student years Jim had been no success whatsoever with the girls, but Julia had fallen in love with that thin, ordinary, grey-eyed boy, because he possessed two precious talents — to create wonderful stories out of simple words and to make friends with children.

The next morning Julia occupied a well-chosen position from which she could safely observe Jim and Helen’s front door. She had to wait for almost an hour before Jim appeared on the doorsteps. He couldn’t see Julia, but Julia was able to watch his every move perfectly well: opening the garage, getting into his car, sending kisses to Helen, driving away.

Julia clicked her fingers quickly and… «Oh, what a curious sensation, so light, so weightless as if I’m a balloon flying away from its negligent owner. How nice to be a cloud floating in the sky! But I must hurry up, Jim’s car is gaining speed». Julia, or rather Julia’s soul, for her body remained lying lifeless on the pavement, waited for the Human Soul Travellers Club ambulance, got into the car easily through the open side-window and gently kissed Jim on the forehead.

— «Oh, Christ! This damned blood pressure jumps like crazy grasshopper» — thought Jim as he felt a sudden influx of blood to his temples. — «What a fool I am! I shouldn’t have drink so much whisky yesterday, I shouldn’t have started quarrelling with that silly bitch. (Who does he mean? I wonder — said Julia to herself). She has succeeded in spoiling the better days of my life, she has destroyed my talent, she has murdered my son. Yes, what else can one call that awful abortion at nearly four month’s pregnancy, without saying a word to me, secretly. And the only thing which could have made our marriage at least tolerable was the baby. A son, my son David, how passionately I wanted you to become real. Alas! ( — Helen, he means Helen! — reflected Julia frightened by these revelations.) Stupid fool, she is to blame for all my failures. But I’ll teach her a lesson, I’ll prove to her that I’m still a writer, not just a waste paper basket, filled with idiotic screen plays».

«Where are we going?» — thought Julia, as they passed West Hill park and took the turn to the left. Jim stopped his car in front of a bleak grey house with dirty windows. He opened the door with his won key and went up the shaky stairs.

A big dirty room looked deserted-very little furniture: an old table with a type-writer on it, a Victorian wooden chair with a broken head, an old-fashioned fridge in the corner and a blotchy carpet of uncertain dirty colour on the floor.

«What is he going to do in this awful room?» — wondered Julia.

Jim looked off his jacket and sat at the table. — «Settled! Work, work and work. I won’t get out till I finish at least the first chapter. Nobody will interfere with my writing here». Julia looked at the sheet of paper stuck into the type-writer and read: «On a bright October morning when the air is transparent and the leaves and the leaves are golden I meet Julia…»

— «Oh, how nice of you to remember me», — thought Julia, — «What will be the continuation be, I wonder?»»

For half an hour Jim sat at the type-writer staring at the white sheet of paper. Random thoughts came and went like waves, leaving nothing on the blank paper but the acute feeling of sadness in his deserted soul. Julia tried hard to follow his disorderly thoughts.

— «Julia… she was the only one who had really understood me… How happy we were on that bright October morning: the leaves were golden, the air was transparent, we were young. Remember what she said on my wedding day: it’s not me you’ve betrayed, it’s your talent. My talent! What have I done with my talent? Just wasted, writing all that silly disposable stuff and making money. Oh, in that I’ve succeeded, I’ve made a lot of money to feed that monster Helen — never enough, never satisfied. Waste, sheer waste… She even refused to give birth to my son. And Julia has two wonderful children, they could have been our children. Julia is absolutely right: I’ve betrayed my talent I’ve wasted myself, I’ll never be able to right anything really worthy… I’ve lost the ability to concentrate…»

— «Poor Jim», — sighed Julia, — «how can I help him? It is impossible without breaking the rule of non-interference in other people’s thoughts. How can I help him?»

— «Help, help». — echoed in Jim’s brain. «Just a little drop of whiskey would help me to concentrate, just a tiny drop». Jim went up to the fridge and opened it. (Oh, there are three bottles of whiskey, — reflected Julia, — and there are five empty bottles on the floor! My God, he has been drinking heavily, so much alcohol!)

By five o’clock Jim was lying flat on the dirty carpet and snoring like a wounded bear. There were no thoughts whatsoever in his deserted soul. The smell of whiskey was so strong that Julia couldn’t stand it any longer: she clicked her fingers, paused for a moment in the air looking at the lumplike lifeless body of the man, who once had been dear lover… Farewell, Jim!

The next morning Julia found herself sitting in a comfortable chair in Mr. Toffiles’ office. The porcelain beauty was holding a glass of water and a pill.

— «Take this, Mrs. Evans, and you’ll feel much better».

Julia took the pill and stretched her limbs. «How nice to have your own body», — she thought to herself, feeling the life coming back into her hands and legs, she moved them, breathing gave her a new physical pleasure.

«How nice to be a body sitting on a chair», — she interpreted a well-known children’s song in her own way.

— «May I have your traveller’s card, Mrs. Evans?» — the Chinese-looking secretary interrupted her pleasant thoughts.

— «What for?» — Julia looked worried as she produced the white plastic card with three red spots.

— «It’s just a formality, I must register that you’ve made the first trip. Will you wait a minute, please?» — And she disappeared behind the door of Mr. Toffiles’ room. «What a polite and nice girl! What a clean and cosy office!» — thought Julia as her eyes glided from the grey silk curtains to the lovely pink roses in the black vase on the white table, and from one bright tour-advertising poster on the wall to another.

«Oh, that dirty sheet of paper again, absolutely out of place among those colourful ads». — Julia went up to the wall and looked at the unfamiliar letters. She even put on her glasses, as if that would help her to understand the text. As she was studying it word by word, sentence by sentence she had a curious sensation that she got the message. Incredible as it may seem she grasped the meaning without understanding the words!

«Oh, how curious», — she thought, — «it proves Jim’s theory that a word is a three, and not a two-sided phenomenon: it has form, content and the message. The one who is able to perceive the message can grasp the content without knowing the form».

Julia was very pleased with herself as she discovered this new delightful secret. The blotchy paper offered a very special kind of travelling, a sort of survival school». It ran as follows:

Памятка для путешествующих по Системе

Устройство Системы таково, что жизнь на верхних ярусах гораздо комфортнее, чем на нижних. Чем выше ярус, тем комфортнее условия существования. Поэтому естественно, что между элементами Системы наблюдаются постоянные конфликты как в скрытой, так и в открытой формах, вызванные всеобщим стремлением попасть на более высокий ярус. Однако это движение не нарушает общего порядка в Системе, так как она закрыта по отношению ко внешней среде и обеспечивает достаточно комфортные условия существования для всех своих элементов.

Система обеспечивает настолько высокий по сравнению с внешней средой уровень жизни, что в большинстве случаев она просто поглощает все внедрившиеся в нее элементы. Они привыкают к комфортности, которая становится неотъемлемой частью их существования, и отказываются от борьбы против Системы. Происходит полное поглощение и перерождение внедрившихся элементов — в этом главная опасность борьбы с Системой.

Если путешествующему удается сохранить свое «я», ни в коем случае нельзя обнаруживать его раньше времени, иначе произойдет его немедленное отторжение.