Павел Миллер - The Power of Time

Max tried to figure out how much time he would stay home. He was home over a month, but he felt no progress in his condition. He actually felt worse: head was aching and spinning, weakness was driving him crazy. He had to remain still for hours to regain the lost energies at least a little. He was annoyed by staying in bed because he was not sleepy and it was challenging to concentrate on thinking. Growing a little stronger, Max opened his eyes. He experienced a grand surprise when he saw that in the corner of the leaving room, right near his room, stood a decorated New Year tree! That was amazing! He became surprised even more when he looked at the calendar: it was the thirtieth of December! That means, that tomorrow is the New Year! Wow! Max felt a fit of energy, stood up from the couch, limped to the tree and took a sit on the chair near it. He got a feeling that New Year tree is giving him some inner strength. It didn’t smell like a pine tree, but Max knew that it was alive. Alive, but will die soon… His happiness disappeared. On top of that he remembered: everyone would go out tomorrow, but he would still be at home like today. Loneliness disappointed him at first, but them he moved negative thoughts aside and said to himself: «I shall have a New Year next year only anyway, when my dream will come true! Right now I need to forget the New Year, my birthday, and everything else that can slow me down on my way». Do I need to overwhelm myself with all that?

He knew the answer to that question already. Getting rid of this idea, Maxim thought that life had no meaning unless you made another person happy, even by dedicating your whole life to that goal. Max was angry at himself for the moment of weakness: «Is this how you see yourself and your love»!? He had never sworn, and even at that time didn’t let himself to pronounce a single indecent word. He thought again about the idea which upset him and asked himself: «Why am I angry? I have taken the decision, more over; I took the first move already. I am on the way to success. So why was I upset»? Could it be the weakness taking me off the right path?! Or was it a weakness of spirit? Or uncertainty which hasn’t left me yet, trying to block the way?! Everything – away!

Maxim stood up on the gypsum and fell down, hitting his head with the window-sill. His nose started to bleed. He stood up with effort and made it to the bathroom. After catching up breath, he reached the light switch and then lost consciousness. He fell on the floor heavily. He recovered right away and heard the echo from the fall in his ears. Everything was drifting in front of his eyes: walls, floor, and furniture – the whole corridor was storming. Maim could not stand up: broken foot created acute seizures which moved directly to the head. Every single movement caused him loosing vision. Overcoming this terrible pain, he managed to grab a wall with one hand and a dresser with the other in order to remain in the sitting position. It was easy to overcome dizziness, but when his heart was burning, he had to lie down still. Maxim could not take hands off the wall and dresser, that action would mean to fall again. Energies left him again. He flexed his aching stomach, released hands free and lay on the back. It was hot, and cold corridor floor was refreshing. Lying on the floor, Max was making decision where to creep: to the leaving room, bathroom, or his room. Decision arrived itself: first to the bathroom, then to my room. «I need to stand up! – said Max. – Last thing I need is to catch a cold»! Leaving the crutch, he crept to the bathroom. How pathetic can a human being be! He is not much different from a dog at the moment, even weaker and more helpless! After washing up he knew that he had energies for another five minutes, and he need to use the bathroom and brush teeth. He had strength for that, but not to get to the room. He remained sitting in the bathroom, with eyes closed, as if he slept. He could not fall asleep, but was taking a nap, seeing a dark-haired and dark-skinned girl, who smiled at him and wanted to tell something. She was calling Max, but he could not understand what she wanted from him. He moved, chasing the view away, but it was holding him tightly. Then Max tried to relax but almost fell in the tub, having time to close eyes and to grab the sink. After soaking head in cold water, he rose from the floor sharply, made a few jumps along the hall to reach the crutch, and then limped to his room. He collapsed in bed and didn’t wake up till the next evening.

When mom woke Maxim up on the New Year’s Eve, it was half past five: «Wake up, it is time to have dinner, and you haven’t had breakfast yet»! Son was stretching while she was rushing him: «Come on, wake up»!

Max loved his mom’s cooking: there were a lot of tasty dishes, and he never knew what to try first. So he was trying everything in small portions and ended up totally stuffed. His parents were talking to him, interrupting each other, but Max, occupied with food, didn’t hear them. He was not eating for a few days – had no appetite before today. That feeling gave him a hope for soon recovery. Maxim was amazed with himself, feeling that he had missed school. It was even good that his illness matched the time of winter break. He had fifteen more days to recover, take off the gypsum and start walking. That made him glad, so he stopped eating and smiled.

– What is wrong with you Max? I am telling you that we are going out to see friends soon, and you are smiling!

– What else I got to do? I can’t go with you.

– What are you going to do when we are gone? That is very interesting.

– I’ll go to bed- what else can I do. May be I’ll read something before falling asleep.

– Will you watch TV shows?

– Probably no. However, I don’t know yet. If there is a good movie, then I’ll definitely watch it. Max was eating a cake, washing it down with tea, which was heating after cold salads. He looked at his mom, looking very elegant and pretty, just like the New Year tree! Women know how to dress up!

– Are you finished with dinner? We are about to leave. Probably, we’ll be back only tomorrow morning or even tomorrow evening. So don’t loose us!

– All right, all right, don’t worry so much.

– You are not upset with us for leaving you by yourself at the holiday?! Answer honestly!

– It is not your fault! – said Max sarcastically and didn’t add anything to that, looking at his mother resentfully. He was offended that she didn’t pay any attention to what he had said. «From the other hand, – he thought, – it is even better this way: there is no reason to ruin a holiday».

– Stop by Margarita Leonidovna, tell Roma to come over! – he shouted at the closing door and felt himself so lonely and forsaken, that his heart started to burn again… He recalled Sveta one more time. She is also watching TV, crying quietly and more then likely thinks about him, so helpless and immature. Max knew that she has inner battle for her credence and that loves helps her. Probably, this is why he feels mournful in the depth of heart. Strengths are gone when no one believes in you. He imagined how difficult that is for her. But she can do that, she is strong and she will be able to give Max support. Sveta will give him energy which will help him to make her happy. «I love you Svetlana»! Will she be able to hear him this night? More then likely yes.

At seven pm Max decided to take a nap to get some rest before Roman’s visit. He tried to imagine how Svetlana could be dressed up at the moment. That is so bad he can’t see her!

When he was falling asleep, the New Year tree was standing in front of his eyes…

«Great solution out of the situation»! – Svetlana thought when she woke up in the evening from the noise guests had created. At first she got angry at her husband for not canceling the celebration. Later, however, she decided that it was a good idea to enjoy the occasion and get digressed from negativity. The new coming year should be a good one. It should be like this one – cheerful, enigmatical and mysterious. Svetlana smiled and remembered the expression: «You will spend the new year exactly how you will celebrate its beginning». She wanted to meet the guests, but felt pain in the stomach and had to sit down on the couch. Svetlana closed her eyes, not being able t stand up.

– Stay where you are, Svetlana! – Ludmila hurried up to stop her. How are you feeling?

Svetlana didn’t answer.

– Don’t worry; we brought all the snacks with us. We’ll stay here for a while, celebrate with you, and keep on going. Svetlana, please say something.

– I haven’t prepared anything, Lyudmila, – Svetlana answered quietly, not opening her eyes.

– Oh, we don’t need anything; we just came over to see you. I hope it is a good idea. To be honest, I didn’t want to bother you, but Vadim took an effort to talk me into that.

«What is going on with me? – Svetlana was puzzled. – It is not a right way to treat people who love and respect you. I have always been distant from my colleagues and people perceive me as an arrogant person. Some are offended by me, some don’t even talk to me and some treat me with coldness. Oh God! I have never noticed that before. I could not understand why all relatives and colleagues turn away from me; I am a good person and a good teacher. I feel so guilty right now! God, forgive me!

– I hope you are not offended by me; – Svetlana gave Ludmila a hug. – I haven’t given you a proper welcoming…

– Of course not! I totally understand that you are having hard time and it is not easy for you…

A tear ran over Ludmila’s cheek.

– Ludmila, I love you very much too! Probably, like one can love a sister. I am very sorry for my actions…

Svetlana shed a tear too, – more from happiness then from the disparity.

– Everyone misses you at school! You are being waited for, despite the holidays. Everyone is worried and concerned for you, – told Ludmila, mopping the tears off. She calmed down, inhaled air and said:

– As if I knew I would be crying. I didn’t apply any make up on, it would all be smudged off now if I did.

Svetlana didn’t answer – she was mopping the tears off.

– All right, I’ll go to set the table it is almost 11 pm…

Ludmila took another look in the mirror, fixed her curly fair hair, and charmingly smiled. She had impressive gray-blue eyes, beautifully shaped lips and accurate nose. «I don’t even need make-up»! – said Ludmila to herself. Standing up from the couch and leaving Svetlana by herself, she proceeded to the kitchen. She understood very well how low Svetlana felt at the moment…

– Would you like to sit here or in the living room?

– Don’t worry Vadim; of course we’ll sit in the living room as usual. Svetlana is all right. If you don’t understand, she is a different person now.

– All right Arthur, let’s move the table. Ladies need to start setting it up, time is running fast.

– We need to light up the New Year tree and turn on the video recorder. Are you planning to record the concert?

Svetlana didn’t want to stand up from the couch, but didn’t want to stay on it either. Stomach stopped hurting, so she enjoyed a feeling of wellness and tired to feel every cell in her body. Relaxed, she regulated her breath and listened her heartbeat. She was satisfied that she didn’t even have a fever. Energy was missing, but doing things slow helped. Svetlana got distracted from her thoughts by the kiss on the lips. She enjoyed it and, wanting more, moved closer to her husband.

– Are you going to change clothing, Svetlana?