Павел Миллер - The Power of Time

© Miller P., 2022

© Aegitas publishing house, 2021

When Svetlana Smirnova woke up at the sound of the alarm, she was not even surprised that she did not get enough sleep and it was time to go to work. Getting out of bed with struggle, she made it to the bathroom. First of all she reached her shirt, which was washed last night and left for drying. What was her surprise that it was still moist, as if right out of washing machine! «All right, – thought Svetlana, – I would have to find something else to wear».

She took another look at the reflection of her face in the mirror, set free from the fetters of sleep, a little elongated, with beautiful like the blue sky eyes, accurate lips with charming movements. Touched her aristocratic nose, spread long heavy lashes, fixed still sleeping brows and stated to take care of thick and curly fair hair that covered her forehead and fell on the shoulders almost reaching bust. Pressed lips as if wanted to smile and proceed to the kitchen after turning off bathroom lights.

While tea was heated, Svetlana opened the window and became surrounded by the freshness of the chilly autumn. She enjoyed autumn, especially at that time, in the remaining night darkness, when under the завораживающих star light on the dark sky dopey trees become weaker and weaker and every moment compete for its leaves with the forces of nature. But forces of nature are stronger; they are draining the tree crown leaf by leaf, tearing their essence from the mask of the foliage.

Sveta lighted up a cigarette, letting the smoke pass in the kitchen window. Everyone wassleeping in the total silence and only in a few neighbor homes the lights were glowing. Nothing was bothering her, but for a reason unknown perception was addled. Svetlana switched attention to the flying comet, got lost in her thoughts, and the cigarette ash fell on the floor. Only then an idea to make a wish which she desired for a long time came to her mind. At that moment, the craving of her wish coming true became especially strong and Svetlana even felt a slight dizziness. She jerked hand abruptly, dropped a cigarette butt that burned her, dropped an ashtray on the floor and thought: “I need to pull myself together”. After collecting ashes from the floor she turned off the tea pot, opened the cabinet doors to get a mug and became frozen on the spot fixing eyes in the sink at the chicken covered with ice which was left there at 6 pm yesterday to melt. Chicken looked exactly the same as she got it out of the fridge. Sveta was afraid of darkness, but decided to turn off the lights and lit a candle. She started another cigarette sitting still at the chair, trying to organize thoughts in vain and understood: she could not think about anything at the moment but felt something obscure. That became frightening: rays of light in the facets of the crystal ashtray, comet flying away and the sky which become edification of coldness and loneliness. Heart started to beat a little faster. Taking a look in the corridor, Svetlana suddenly noticed that two green eyes are staring at her without blinking from the darkness. Svetlana curdled and realized that she is not scared any more. Lighting another cigarette, she remembered that yesterday a dog was brought from a village. It even became easier to perceive herself at that moment.

Ejecting the smoke and having a sip of tea, Sveta firmly decided that precisely today she would talk to her husband about what was torturing her for a long time. She dressed up, entered her son’s room, sat on his bed carefully not to wake him up, stroked his head, kissed and left.

A tear slowly ran down the cheek, then another one. «Enough, have to leave for work», – said Sveta to herself. Quietly leaving the apartment, she stood at the door for some time placing the bag near her. Her eyes streamed tears and she did not have strength to understand what was happening and could not move. Tears kept falling down, smudging mascara and powder over the face. After taking a deep breath, she calmed herself down, grabbed a bad and started to slowly getting down the steps from the second floor.

– Hello, Sveta! Is everything ok? – Like a bolt from the blue asked the neighbor who entered the apartment building from the street.

– Everything is good, I am going to work, – she replied automatically.

– Did you change job? – He yelled from the above, moving fast.

– No, – whispered Svetlana and heard the neighbor closing his door.

«He works till midnight, and getting home only now… May be he changed jobs? Then why did he ask me that question? Strange”! – She thought.

Wind was blowing, playing with the fallen leaves. Sveta looked at the open space behind her home which she needed to pass. Wind was flapping the grass, and it seemed that it was the sea playing with waves and alluring them at the depth of the storm. She still haltered to take a step into that habitat, as if was asking for vigor from someone, becoming intimidated of the light of the Moon, which was watching her hesitation formidably. But still she managed to calm her breath down and took the rout in the open space, looking at the stars not to see the grass which seemed to wish to swallow her. Svetlana noticed a flying comet again and immediately remembered her problem, that matter of which was that she desperately wanted a second child. Her husband Vadim is strongly against. It is not that he does not love children. They already have one child, and he loves him deeply. He works as a teacher in school, and kids just adore him! From the very beginning Svetlana had a feeling, that he simply protects her from unnecessary problems, and deep inside not against at all. However, something was stopping her and she could not find determination to discuss this important topic. It looked like the circumstances were fortunate, but no matter what she tried she did not find courage for the most important talk with her husband.

Passing dark streets in the yards at the cold autumn night, Sveta retired to herself so much that she did not notice at all the lack of lights in the windows and people on the streets. Public transportation should be working at that hour, but it was not there either. An experienced teacher of Russian language and literature raveled in herself and did not know what to do. She was walking this way deep in her thoughts before she grabbed a handle of the own school and pulled it roughly.

«I don’t understand anything, why is it locked»? – thought Svetlana, pulling the door handle one more time. All of the sudden her previous hesitation left and feeling inner strength she said to herself loudly «That is it, enough! I will solve this problem today! I will have another child»! She was surprised herself of founding courage at that specific day. Looking at the door again, she realized that it is purposeless to try to open the door by herself and knocked loudly. Silence. Appraising the situation, Sveta looked around, knocked on the school door again, then again and again. The door was opened by the guard.

– Something happen? – He asked without irony, but with a slight fear.

– Nothing happen; I came to work as usual. Why don’t you let me in? – Sveta felt unfathomable agitation, but tried to hide it.

– Excuse me, what time it is now?

Guard looked at her face attentively; it was tear-stained and stripes from the smudged mascara provoked strange thoughts. Sveta kept quite, staring at the tall, stocky man in his middle age dressed in uniform.

– So what happen? – He repeated. – Are you feeling bad, should I call the ambulance?

– No, thanks. Tell me please, what time it is? – Sveta spoke affirmatively, but her anxiety could be sensed.

– Half past midnight. May be I can help you with something?

– No, thank you, I better go.

With the lump in the throat, Svetlana rushed to the stairs of the high porch realizing that her nerves were on the stretch. She cried out loud at the same time as the school door slammed with crash. Sveta covered face with hands, dropped her bag and could not stop until she was taken by hand. She stopped crying, but was not moving hands away from the face, sighting deeply to calm herself.

– Don’t be scared, this is me. May be you want to come in and calm down?

– No, I will go home. Unless it is too difficult, could you please help me to get downstairs, I don’t see anything.

– Sure, sure of course it is not, – the guard lifted the dropped bag and helped her to get down the stairs.

– Excuse me, should I walk you home? I am not aloud to leave the building, but I can call someone for help.

But Svetlana already did not hear him, hardly perceiving the reality. It seemed that she is in a different world and carried away on the powerful wings of the giant bird, descending suddenly and soaring rapidly. Every moment of the received impressions absolutely could not be compared to that world that remained below and appeared so insignificant. All of the sudden she felt eerie. She fathomed that she represented a small particle of this world and required to return to it. Falling down accelerating speed Sveta thought: «I will be back»! It was not frightening at all, but she still decided not to look at the face of death. At the sight of the approaching earth it was getting more and more dolorous and heavy at heart. And nothing – not the expected paid, not the coldness, not the fear – nothing was there. After waiting for a little while, she opened eyes and saw the entrance door of her apartment, keys in the right hand and bag in the left. Striving hard not to think of anything, Sveta said to herself: «Enough, Svetonka, stop, calm down! Enough for today. Let’s go home and go to bed».

Falling asleep instantaneously, Svetlana saw herself in the unfamiliar commodious building. Something wicked was chasing her, something she was desperately scared of, and she was running away from it not knowing where and what for. All at once she entered an empty room which had no exit and hid in the corner. And the creature, overstepping the doorstep of the room spreading something that reminded hands, slowly approached Svetlana who was paralyzed from head to toes by horror. Sveta was shaking…Then she screamed from terror, opened her eyes and looked out of the blanket all wet, flushing, with disheveled hair and slowly started to gain consciousness.

– Darling, have you seen a nightmare?

Husband sat on the bed, hugged her and continued:

– It is three pm now. This morning I called school, informed of your illness and cancelled your classes. Should I heat something to eat love?

– Just tea dear.

– Ok.

Vadim left, and his voice pealed from the corridor:

– Allo! Who is on the phone? Oh hello dear…

Sveta realized that husband is talking to his sister. Oh yes, she has birthday today and they need to visit – have not seen each other for ages.

– Vadim, tell that we are leaving right after I finish tea.