Павел Миллер - The Power of Time

Husband left to start a car. Sveta lifted a tea cup and her hand started to shake slightly as she remembered last night. "All right, – she thought, – it is all past. It is better to go ahead and solve my problem".

Closing the front door of the «Audi», Svetlana immediately gathered herself together and said:

– Vadim, you know how much I love you. I wanted to tell you for a long time that I want another child. We have a son already – that is great! Let’s have a daughter too, you know how I love children! I wanted to discuss this for a very long time, but could not find determination, more then likely because of the fear of refusal…

She could not contain herself again, and everything that tortured and excruciated her for years broke through…

– Calm down dear, what is wrong?

Sveta did not reply. They were passing the city for a long time and she could not abate even though she heard and was able to understand everything that her husband was saying – a very attractive man: tall, fit, green eyed blond with absolutely accurate facial features, confident voice and sight.

– I also want a child from you dear! I was only waiting for you to start the conversation!

Vadim took a hand off from his wife knee, hugged her and kissed on the lips, as he thought very fast. Before the kiss Svetlana acknowledged Vadim’s words and realized that she was torturing herself for years for no reason. And the burden – absolutely not necessary one – left all at once! Sveta felt as the happiest woman on earth. How good she felt and that very short moment!

After a kiss, Vadim took a glance at the road again while Sveta dropped the jaw and her eyes opened wide. Jeep was heading right into their direction. Collision was unavoidable – it became obvious right away. Everything that followed appeared in the slow motion. With every moment as the Jeep approached, Svetlana was loosing hope. She and Vadim clearly realized that there is nothing more to long for. It can’t be true! For everything to get ruined like that! In one moment, not having a time to start… In this situation Sveta absolutely was not thinking weather they would stay alive, she was totally consumed by her dream which seemed imaginary for years. At that specific moment, when she sensed it so close… So realistic!

It was indispensable not to let the collision happen. Vadim turned right on his side of the road, but the Jeep driver turned left on his. Why?! No more space on the roadside! Jeep was moving «head to head». The fact that the transmission was off and the speed was suppressed by breaks did not help much. Both drivers understood the essence of the occasion. Vadim was mostly concerned for Sveta. He could not concentrate on anything other then the happening situation but at the same time was so overwhelmed with emotions, that while turning the wheel and pressing the breaks was blaming everything on himself: «What was the point of hiding from the wife that I want to have a child too? For a result like this…» That was the last thought on Vadim’s mind, because at the very next moment his Audi and Jeep crashed and became a subject not liable to reconstruction…

Ascending to the school porch, Maxim walked slowly enjoying crunch of the clean snow. Then he stopped and took a look on the school yard that was still covered with the virginal white snow. “Strange, that has never happened before that I was the first one to come to school. Wow…” He stood still for some time, watching flying snow flakes, delighted by the windless and coolness of the frosty morning. Suddenly, Max noticed his footsteps and thought: "Can it be that I am such an insecure person? Footsteps are uneven, as thought I was staggering. When walking, seems even!" Getting ready to enter the school, Maxim noticed another oddity: on the turns he walked steadily and securely, without rush, however steps were located on the various length from each other and with the same number of steps to the left and right the distance significantly differed.

"What does it mean? – thought Max and after turning left walked eight steps. Then he turned around to the starting point and repeated his action. Then walked to the right. The result was the same. «Why is it happening this way? It can be like that in life: when a person thinks about something and trying to do it, something will be on the way not wanting for the event to occur exactly to the plan. Everything will be like it should be!" – disserted the student of the tenth grade. After changing in the dressing room, he ascended to the third floor for the lesson of Russian language. He looked fifteen years old, medium height, athletic build, with dark hair, green eyes and comely face, serious sight and smile. At that moment he was upset from the overwhelming facts of reality. Maxim was deliberating the problem of reality, imagination for a long time, as well as the human drive to do everything his way: «Don’t the steps prove that theory? No matter how you try, there won’t be precision, till you deviate from the verity, deceive, disguise or do things in the way they should not be done…»

School was silent, no one was there yet, and every movement which was accompanied by the sound created loud echo. Maxim felt somehow unusual, and rules of Russian grammar could not be recalled before the test. He looked at the classroom door and did not even want to attend the class: «Why do I need a failing grade? Next class is chemistry anyway – chemistry, which means another failing grade. Very good! Then algebra – a third one. All together! Totally perfect! Yes, by the end of the week things are going not so good». Max’s face became serious, cheeks blushed: «Why did I decide to go to school today, does not make any sense! Got a headache yesterday, failed to do homework, and woke up early to make it to school without rush. Footsteps… Yes, I answered the question that bothered me, so what?»

Max got annoyed by thinking of nothing as well as of sitting at the cold window, so he made an effort, lifted himself and looked out of the window. School was entered by the students, voices and steps were heard, they were disturbing habitual science, disturbed from thoughts. He felt his own insignificance, when students started to pass the hall carrying bags and backpacks. They were running somewhere, hustled for the reason unknown, talked about something… Boring to listen to them! Max did not feel like communicating to his classmates today, he felt dreary in his soul and he did not know why. Sitting away from others, Maxim waited for the bell to ring.

Finally, the bell rang; all classes entered the rooms to begin studies, and only the class 10 "В" remained near the cabinet. In ten minutes’ school administrator Polina Pavlovna – tall, attractive and a very intelligent woman, a teacher of algebra and geometry in high school classes approached the class. Her curly hair up to the shoulder dyed in chestnut color, expressive face with brown eyes always looked good. Smooth, slow footsteps, showing calmness and imperturbable confidence in tomorrow allured with grace and charm. She was passing down the hall totally tranquil, but Max realized already that the lesson of Russian was cancelled. He looked at Polina Pavlovna and tried to predict her words. That was easy and complex at the same time.

– Good morning, students! Have you been waiting long? Svetlana Victorovna did not feel good yesterday, and classes were cancelled. Right now, not to waste time, proceed to Ekaterina Savelievna to the chemistry class.

Administrator spoke so quietly and calmly that it seemed every word insinuates in your soul and finds something to hold on to there. Her speech was appealing, like something inexperienced and frightening that attracts and intimidates at the same time by its inscrutability. Polina Pavlovna spoke like that every time, under any circumstances. It is always interesting to listen to her, even when the talk has no purpose.

– Polina Pavlovna, – girls bubbled all together at once, – can we go to your class?! Algebra is the last class we have!

– No, students! We have a test today; you need to understand that I can’t give a test to two classes at the same time. You need to write it today. So please understand my point and do not take offence. Ok?

Polina Pavlovna smiled, and even thought she could never make a perfect smile, companions always felt the warmth and tenderness she wanted to express.

– Can you let us leave earlier? Can we take a test second time if we fail it? – classmates were trying to waste time not to go to a chemistry class.

Raising from window sill, Max slowly walked down to corridor to the stairs, speculating how to explain his mother a bad grade in chemistry class: «There is no way I should go to algebra, then I can make it with one failing grade. But for mom it is already an occasion: one or many, the fact of having a bad grade this is what matters. Affray is expected». With every step he wanted to go less and less, finally did not want to go at all, but he had to! Had to get that failing grade! But what for? Max could not find an answer to that question. Before taking the steps he turned around and heard the voice of Polina Pavlovna:

– Nothing is going to change. Whoever finished work, can submit it and leave. If someone receives a failing or a poor grade and wants a better one, I will schedule a day for another test. Or you can take it during independent study time in class. Ok, go to the lesson, we have been talking for ten minutes already.

She approached the stairs where Maxim stood. May be he should tell her that he is not ready and wants to take a test another time? It would be a way not to go to a class today! Students outran teachers and already reached the second floor, when Polina Pavlovna reached the place where Maxim stood. At first he could not find courage to speak up. It is not comfortable to excuse yourself from the class.

– Polina Pavlovna, I need to go to the hospital to see a doctor. May I take a test during the next class and not go to the lesson today?

– Yes, Maxim, of course you can. There is no problem in that, if you need to go to the hospital – then go.

– Good bye, thank you Polina Pavlovna! You are such a wonderful person! – he whispered when she left.

Opening the doors of the chemistry classroom right in front of Maxim’s nose, Ekaterina Savelievna asked with in a strict voice:

– Shtuforuk, why everyone is here and you are running late? I was going to search for you! – she opened the door wide for Max to enter and continued:

– Put your bag down and go to the black board, please tell the class about isomers of carbon. Like usual, begin with physical properties and chemical structure and proceed to the reaction with acids and alkalis. Reactions will be written by someone else.

Maxim stood near his desk not thinking about anything and was waiting for a moment to announce that he was not ready for the class. Finally, a teacher finished her speech and looked at him attentively waiting for an answer.

– Ekaterina Savelienvna, I am not ready today, please don’t give me a failing grade. I promise I will give an answer at the next lesson.

– At the next lesson we’ll have another topic. You will give me an answer after classes when I have time but for now I shall give you a grade you deserve. If you correct it – good, if not – it will remain.

– Ekaterina Savelievna…

– I do not want this to happen any more! Next time you will be prepared in the timely matter. Enough, sit down. Who else is not ready? Tell me now, let’s not waste time.

The rest of the time till the end of the class Max wasn’t giving attention to the teacher, his friends sitting near, and of course not to the lesson. In his thoughts he was home and anguished about upcoming quarrel over the failing mark. He could not stand them: fracas have no point! And what is a failing grade? Right now you do not know the subject, but in a moment you know it and receive an excellent grade! So what is the meaning of fighting over it? Those thoughts were occupying head and disturbed thinking about something else, much more important. At that time, experiencing gloomy feelings, Max hoped that nothing else negative would happen that day.