Никита Капернаумов - 2018: Истероидный инцел и сталкер

ну напиши мне на почту, чтобы я знал что там доходят письма, я бы тебе там писал и ты бы не читала, мне просто хочется писать и надеяться что ты можешь прочитать, я так хочу с тобой общаться, пожалуйста, я просто хочу писать тебе письма и знать что ты не считаешь меня тем кто я нет, я не маньяк, я не опасный, ну умоляю ну верни то время когда ты мне не отвечала но всётаки иногда могла ответить. ну сейчас же ты совсем не отвечаешь, знаешь как мне обидно увидевать что ты ограничила доступ, это воспринимается каждый раз как конец, я не могу это выносить. ну не блокируй хотябы сейчас, ну вот просто не блокируй и всё, я лишусь этой страницы в течении суток всё равно, это взломаная, ну просто не блокируй. прими это письмо и не блокируй, не читай это письмо но только не блокируй. ну представь какого это когда самый нужный тебе человек тебя блокирует, ну это же конец, это кошмар, я не могу этого выносить

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( – я не уверен отправил ли верхнее, но вот нижнее это просто набросок точно – )

даш пожалуйста поговори чучуть и я не напишу ни разу за весну. я не понимаю в чём дело, я не верю что только потому что я скучный, я не вижу зачем тебе быть такой жестокой, а ты же понимаешь что мне правда плохо. может я в неподходящее время пишу, может ты в этой греции и тебе не до всякого типа меня, ну напиши тогда потом.

я не могу перестать хотеть с тобой поговорить, я не знаю что ещё делать, кроме как просить пока есть деньги покупать эти фейк акаунты. не могу перестать открываать твою страницу, вот опять и тут такие фотки, ты самое красивое что я видел и у меня с тобой, ну ладно не с тобой а твоими фотогарфиями, все самые главные желания связаны. я не знаю что делать, ну облегчи пожалуйста в очередной раз.

специально создал сообщество чтобы тебе не писать ни с какой почты и не разблокировывать, напиши тут ссылкаs-вк/topic-****

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19 03 18

( – ездил в банк – )

Today I did to downtown go

The second time in the last two months,

Now on the train I got and lo!

A pretty lass I spied at once.

A knit cap she on her head wore

Her puffy coat below the knee,

Styled jeans, an Iphone, rings and more

Of voguish things on her had she.

Now to her face. What words should I

Choose to portray her beauty rare?

Conceive a lass that you’d just die

For she and you are not a pair.

Now forth I step out of the car

Thou bonny lass, we’ll never meet

My stop, the escalator up

Through tears I view the next girl’s feet.

Oh, how can I die?

I dare not turn, there’s still the hope

That She is going up as well

And maybe I have been a dope

To bid that beauteous fair farewell.

And «twas just so! When at the top

I slowed my pace and looked aside

My heart for a few seconds stopped:

A step away she passed me by.

Now like a rutting dog I followed,

To push these heavy doors I helped

Though that heroic deed was hollow

I wasn’t noticed, a poor whelp.

Along the street a bit I stalked,

She saw me not, nor I her face

To a bus driver now she talked

And leapt on it, somewhere to race.

All I want now is to die.

Oh when will my mother be dead at last?

Then I’ll to the rails go and make all past.

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i gave up all hopes to learn ****ing english. and i haven’t persuaded any girl to meet and show me her pu*** for money (february and half of march i spent on it, wrote to girls and advertised my community from morning till night). went to a free moronic psychologist (a woman), she hadnt heard all my story (50 minutes weren’t enough. i had the time only for relating my early life which of couse meant that i told about my fetishes and sexual perversions and this is more about psychiatry than psychology. but i went to her with psychological issues, the introducing of which is nevertheless impossible without telling about early life) but sent me to a psychiatrist. nobody understands me and my situation and my psychology. everybody thinks my current suffering has something to do with psychiatry. nobody understands deep psychology. i’ve became very cruel with people in thoughts. at the moment, were I now at that psychologist’s to whom i went i would hit her in her face when i heard her mentioning about advisability of me going to a psychiatrical clinic. i will, if i can, physically fight with everybody who wants to have me do anything. the other day i went downtown on buisiness and i had planned to fight (i don’t know other verb. i mean beating with fists, tearing clothes and all that) even those who would tap me on sholder in the subway to get me stand up for some elderly to sit on my place. i cannot stand when somebody tries to have me do anything. i want to kill them. my mother is the same, and all my grandmothers on mother’s line. we won’t stand it and we will resist any attempts of strangers to make us do anything we don’t want to. my mother of course couldn’t fight, so she became very introvertish. but I, being a son of a father whose father (my gradfather on fathers line) was a prisioner for some killing or somthing. so i naturally have low threshold of agression and all my childhood was full of frays with my male peers (and even female). when somebody is tapping me on the sholder in public transprt to give my place for some damned hag, I know that the mother****er is a male, he is assured that he will make me stand up and he is prepared for violence. so i don’t say anything when i am being tapped on the shoulded. i give no notice. but when he is persistent then i won’t say anything because i understand that he is of course in the right, and i should stand up and give my place for the hag. but i don’t want to do it, i am in the wrong, i admit it. but i shall be sitting on, nobody will move me, unless physically. so when i feel that the situation begings to be more about physical means of moving me from the seat, i then don; t wait for the sqabble, i begin it myself at once. but me being cunning, i want to fight immidietly, i say offensive phrases to the tapping man provoking him to make the first blow. that how i acted when i worked and all day was in public transport. but now im going whenever i go somehwee to begin fight instantly without offencing. because getting offenced that man usually avoids the fight anyway. and i left the scene unsutisfied. i had been tapped, i was offended by somebody trying to make me do somthing and i am not satisfied with just swearing on him, because the today man is not easily offended by just words. i want to do to him some physical injury so that he would know better than to tap me next time. i also want to beat and get a fight with people on the internet who offend me by their calling me psycho or anything. i think i would have made a dedicated duelist of myself, if it we lived in an old century.

dasha isn’t answering any my message nowhere. nor when i send from my fake accounts on VK, nor in gmail. she went to greece with her beloved (i caught a video «story» which was avaliable for some ten hours on her instagram, a video of her sitting in a hotel room, and i got a screenshot of it and i think it was His leg beside hers on the photo (she doesn’t make any photos with him. he never appears anywhere. he is a very secret spy or something)). so she went to greece, the contryy which is very much related to Ulysses, that damned book which i must read sometime and which if dasha reads it first my self estimation will be smashed completely. now i must finish that bloody martin eden, then i mean to read beowulf, and then i will proceed to the damned iliad. i think i need to read this cr** before i take james joyce. i hate books, absolutely loathe reading. i’m not interested at all. all i want i to love and f*** a pretty girl, and indulge my sex fetishes. then i would be able to be interested in anything else.

my mum returned. i even had asked myself her to return: i needed somebody to prevent me constantly masturbating and looking at girls all day. i lost eyesight very much, and i degraded, i didn’t read anything in february and the first half of march because of my obsession with wanting girls and sex. and of course now i am again sucidal and wanting my mother to die so i could kill myself.

i composed a song about my falling in love with a girl in subway when i went downotn. it is in «my own» english of course, like my post. i recently began and am now often writing verses in this my incorrect english. this one i even transformed into a song and that into a videoclip.

[YOUTUBE] [url] ссылкаs-youtu.be/ny3FxMVq_xI [/url] [/YOUTUBE]

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ОЧЕНЬ ХОЧУ ПООБНИМАТЬ КРАСИВУЮ ДЕВУШКУ!!!! ((((((С 3ЁХ ЛЕТ МЕЧТА ТАКАЯ!!!!!!! ((((((((УДАЛОСЬ ТОЛЬКО ОДИН РАЗ КУПИТЬ В 2011-ом ГОДУ (((((ОЧЕНЬ ХОЧЕТСЯ ЕЩЁ (((((((((((!!!!!!! (((((

####### почему за деньги? #######

у меня самооценка на нуле (по обоснованным причинам: у меня нет даже 9ти классов и ничего в жизни не получилось что пытался), и я потомственный мазохист, не позволю себе быть с девушкой без денег

####### у психиатров был? #######

был не помогло. такие проблемы как мои решения таблетками и болтовнёй не имеют. но если вы настаиваете пойти ещё к «хорошим» платным вот мой яндекс кошелёчек 41001442252910 жертвуйте!!! (ещё можете со мной связаться вышлю номер карты сбера) 2тыс за каждую консультацию в институте Бехтерева. я работать не могу уже, а все деньги что заработал за молодость я потерял изза депрессии (5млн потерял, родительские в том числе с продажи квартиры).