Maxim Titovets - The Rubicon. A play in two acts

© Maxim Titovets, 2022

ISBN 978-5-0059-0172-9

Создано в интеллектуальной издательской системе Ridero

maxtitovets@mail.ru

www.maximtitovets.com

THE RUBICON

Maxim Titovets

a play in two acts

Translated by Ekaterina Zudova

«I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself». David Herbert Lawrence.

«Seek, and ye shall find». Matthew 7: 7—8.

«Last night I had this dream: The sea at dawn and a pat of flamingos by the water…». Maxim Titovets, Sharm el Sheikh, February 24, 2022.

Oleg (Sea Lion),owner of the Rubicon Hotel, 51 y.o.

Nadya,his wife, 43 y.o.

Makar,his brother, 48 y.o.

Katya,Nadya’s daughter from her first marriage, 18 y.o.

Andrey,21 y.o.

Polina,19 y.o.

Stvolov (Chopper),age unknown

Agap,hotel’s employee, 35 y.o.

The action takes place in present-day Russia.

Twenty years before the time the play is set.

A cold May night. A rapid of a mountain river. Wet stones are gleaming in the moonlight.

A scream rends the dark. It’s a woman. Something falls into the water, making a short heavy splash which is quickly drowned out by the rumbling of water.

Oleg comes out of the darkness, clothed in a sailor’s striped shirt, clenching a flashlight. A beam of light is sliding confusedly along the river and stones.

Makar is sitting on the edge of the cliff. Oleg aims his flashlight at Makar. Makar turns around. His face is covered in blood.

Oleg.Makar. You got your nose smashed. Where is Vera?

Makar. [He paws at the ground, aghast.] Eh?!

Oleg.Makar!

Makar.Oleg. It’s not my fault… she did it herself.

Oleg.You drunken fool! What have you done?

Scene 1

The Rubicon Roadside Inn & Diner, the parlor with panoramic windows. There are a few tables and a bar counter.

Evening. The storm is raging outside.

Andrey is standing in front of the bar counter. He looks around, then approaches the tableware stand, takes a fork, and puts it in an inside pocket of his jacket. After that, he picks up a knife, stabs an invisible opponent in the neck a number of times – his movements well-practiced, – tests the knife sharpness and puts the knife back on the table. Polina enters the stage. She goes down the stairs from the second floor carrying a tray.

Polina.Have you no shame? Stealing cutlery.

Andrey.No idea what you are talking about. I was just about to ask for the menu and order a bottle of good wine.

Polina.Garbage. You don’t have enough money to order a bowl of soup, let alone a bottle of wine.

Andrey produces a fat wad of shabby banknotes out of his pocket but then quickly puts it back.

Andrey.What are you doing here?

Polina.None of your business.

Andrey.You are a movie star, I’d wager. An actress? A supermodel?

Polina.I’m not. Who do you think I am?

Andrey.A waitress.

Polina. [Pause]. Well, and what are you up to when you are not busy stealing cutlery?

Andrey.To be perfectly blunt, I am looking for a job.

Polina.And what did you do before?

Andrey.Spent days in an asylum, served time, holed up in various places.

Polina.You were in a loony bin?

Andrey.That’s right.

Polina.After falling across a mean waitress, huh?

Andrey.Kinda. Do you see this foot?

Polina. So?

Andrey.I cut off my big toe with an axe.

Polina.What?! Why would you do that?

Andrey.To dodge the draft. Wanna take a look?

Polina.No way. I have no intention to see your stump. Damn, you really did that?

Andrey. Yep.

Polina.For crying out loud, what a place! It seems that our Rubicon is not really a poky hole of a place, considering its loony visitors.

Andrey.May I take a picture of you?

Polina. Why?

Andrey.It’ll be a proof that angels exist.

Polina.You are a funny guy.

Andrey.Not in the least.

Polina.One of a kind.

Andrey.Not in the least.

Polina.Yes, of course, you are

Andrey.Not in the least.

Polina. [Pause.] Right. Not in the least.

Andrey.What is your name?

Polina.Try to guess.

Andrey.People call me Andrey.

Polina.Well, if they call you, you should probably go.

Andrey.My psychiatrist says that we should accept others as they are.

Polina.Well, alright, the therapy session is over.

Nadya appears from the kitchen and stands behind the bar counter.

Nadya. [To Andrey.] Here’s your change. Your room is on the second floor. We serve breakfast at eight. The bar is open round the clock.

Andrey.Bingo!

Nadya.Polina, escort our guest to his room.

Polina.Welcome to the Rubicon Hotel.

Nadya rings the bell on the counter. Andrey and Polina take the stairs up to the second floor.

Andrey.Polina?

Nadya.And tidy up upstairs!

Makar appears from the second-floor corridor and runs into Polina and Andrey in the stairway.

Makar.Hi. How’s work?

Polina.Great! Hope to be a waitress here for the rest of my life.

Makar.What a bit of good!

Polina. [To Andrey.] Are you married? You have a ring.

Andrey.It’s a gruesome story. When I was a child, I was kidnapped by ornithologists…

Andrey and Poline leave.

Makar.The Moon is as beautiful as ever, outshining the Sun itself!

Nadya.A nice suit. [Pause.] Didn’t they have your size?

Makar.Nadya.

Nadya.Don’t take chances, Makar.

Makar approaches the door leading to Sea Lion’s study, peeps through a key-hole, and presses the door handle. The door is locked.

Makar.Nadya…

Nadya.Your brother lets you stay here out of pure generosity.

Makar.Say just one word.

Nadya.Go away, you viper.

Pause.

Makar.So, where is my goody-goody brother?

Nadya.At the old ranger station, with the gamekeeper.

Makar.A raid?

Nadya.Some tourist has been ripped apart by a bear.

Makar.Poor little bear. These two won’t let it go.

Stvolov walks in.

Nadya.Welcome to the Rubicon Hotel.

Stvolov.It’s raining like hell. How are you, mistress?

Makar. [Aside.] Could be better.

Stvolov.Pour me some coffee and get me a bite to eat.

Nadya.What about something stronger?

Stvolov.A cognac, please.

Makar comes up to the window and peers into the darkness.

Stvolov.That went down good.

Nadya.Have a slice of lemon, it’s on the house.

Stvolov.There’s this village, Bear Creek Valley. How long will it take to get there?

Nadya.Why would you go so far at this time of night?

Stvolov.I’m going to see my brother.

Makar.How long has he been in jail?

Stvolov.He is a hydrologist there.

Makar.Hydrologists, geologists… Our gold makes everyone restless.

Nadya.Bear Creek Valley is three hundred kilometers away from the city. And we are right in the middle. The Rubicon.

Stvolov.The Ru-bi-con.

Makar.He’s gone.

Stvolov.Who’s gone?

Makar.Your taxi driver.

Stvolov leaps up, dashes outside, and then comes back.

Stvolov.Piece of shit. I didn’t get the plate number.

Nadya.And your bag’s in the trunk.

Makar.Count your lucky stars he didn’t bump you off on the way here.

Nadya.God spare us.

Stvolov.That’s a fine how-de-do you have here.

Makar.It’s a dog-eat-dog world.

Nadya.Welcome to the Rubicon Hotel.

Scene 2

The stage setting is the same.

Sea Lion and Agap enter. Sea Lion is dressed in a sailor’s striped shirt. He is carrying a leather travel bag.

Agap.Fuck…

Sea Lion.What?

Agap.I got soaked to the bone and almost froze to death.

Sea Lion.It’s because you are a wuss.

Agap.I’m frozen stiff because of this wind.

Sea Lion.So, warm yourself, knucklehead. Maybe then you’ll hurry up your ass.

Nadya. [Aside.] Speak of the devil.

Makar.Agap! The street lamp isn’t working again. Go and fix it!

Agap.Suck my dick, will you?

Makar.Sure. If I can find it.

Sea Lion. [To Agap.] First feed the cattle. Then move the jeep to the pit, the U-joint’s clunking. [Handing his car keys over to Agap.]

Makar.So, goodbye, poor little bear…

Agap leaves

Nadya.Hello, Oleg. How did it go?

Sea Lion. [Looking at Agap.] The priest has gone away – the devils in the churchyard play. [To Nadya.] How many guests are here today?

Nadya.The place is chock-full.

Sea Lion.Where’s Polina?

Nadya.I’ve sent her upstairs to do some cleaning.

Sea Lion.Send her in.

Sea Lion unlocks the door of his study with a key and disappears inside.

Scene 3

Sea Lion’s study.

Sea Lion is seated at his desk. There is a knock at the door. Polina enters carrying a tray. She puts a jug of water on the table.

Sea Lion.Sit down. I’ll pay you up.