Людмила Ансельм - Короткие пьесы

JULIA:Why did you break up?

MICHAEL:She cheated on me… and not just me… I have to admit she was sort of like a leaf just blown where ever nature and excitement took her…

JULIA:So since I was on the TV show you thought I was like her too? Sort of a prostitute?

MICHAEL:Well… you went to bed with me quickly… I think all women are like prostitutes… “Under their skin”…

JULIA( crying ): What? What did you say?

MICHAEL:It’s not me; it’s a rhyme of Rudyard Kipling… But he thought that all women are lesbians. “The colonel’s ladies and Judi O’Grady are lesbians under their skin”…in their souls…something like that…

JULIA( bitterness mounting ): Thank you for your gratis opinion about women.

MICHAEL( smiling ): Just kidding!… ( Looking at his watch ) I have to go!

JULIA:So I have to decide what I want!

MICHAEL:What do you mean?

JULIA:To stick with you…or to find another…

MICHAEL( now angry ): You blow this all up! I’m a bad lover and bad potential father just because I want a “quickie” now and then?

Juliaquickly lies stiffly down on the sofa shoes and all.

JULIA:You still want me to undress?

MICHAEL:You could at least take your high heels off before you lie on the sofa!

JULIA:( artificial surprisingly ) Do you really want me to take off my shoes?

MICHAEL:You’re toying with me!

JULIA:So you toyed with me! You still want me to undress?

MICHAEL:You’ve ruined any desire now.

JULIA:And….. I have no desire for you…I’ll go…

MICHAEL( shouting ): Get out! Go! Find another!

JULIA( calm down ): I’ll go. Even if you call me like last time, I’ll never come back!

MICHAEL:I don’t want to see you again! Go to the zoo and adopt a baby monkey!

Juliathrows the sofa pillows on the floor. She kicks over the chair with Michaels clothes on it.

JULIA:So now you clean up for the last time after me!

MICHAEL( shouting ): Go!… Go…get out! Bitch!

Shetakes off her shoes and throws her shoes at Michael who deftly ducks them.

JULIA:These are from all women! You son of a bitch! Impotent!

Juliaruns out the door crying. Michael picks up a vase to throw, but then he sees the ship’s bell. He yanks the bell off the wall and throws it on the floor. He kicks it thru his thin slippers. It makes several loud clangs. He hurts his toe. He sits on the sofa in pain holding his toe. Bare foot Julia enters the apartment again

JULIA( surveying all ): Michael, I heard you rang the bell! Did you call me?

Pause

Are you crying?

MICHAEL:You hurt me… Just sit down…

JULIA:Michael, I’m so sorry. I hate to fight…I feel so badly… It’s as if we descended into Hell…

MICHAEL: Me too…

JULIA:Michael, now I hope you understand me better…

MICHAEL:Yes… I understand you…

(Pause)

But Julia… please; tell me, where your hot spots are…

JULIA( cold ): I don’t know…

MICHAEL:Julia, please…

JULIA:My ears…

THE END

PETER:8 or 9 years old, he has a band aid on his forehead.

MICHAEL:25–30 years old. He has a beard about five days old.

Family room in upscale home. PETER, sobbing, sits at a table drawing. MICHAEL enters, briskly.

MICHAEL:Peter, have you seen my electric razor?

PETER:No…

MICHAEL:Why are you crying?

PETER( angrily ): I already told you! Zack pushed me down the stairs at school!

MICHAEL: Right. We started to talk about it in the car, and then we ran into that gridlock at 5 corners. Do you know why Zack pushed you?

PETER:Mr. Allen said to draw a picture of our mothers for Mother’s Day. Zack said I didn’t have a mother. So I pushed him.

MICHAEL:Your mama…

PETER:Papa said he’d talk to me about my mama sometime soon. I don’t know who my Mama was…

MICHAEL:Why she “was”? She’s alive…

PETER( surprised ): You have seen my Mama?

(MICHAELpulls up a chair and sits confidentially near Peter)

MICHAEL:Your Dad told me about her…

PETER:What did he tell you?

MICHAELWell… She goes to collage. She lives in a big city far away. Your Dad is paying for her college.

PETER:Why?

MICHAEL:Because she’s your Mama.

PETER( shaken, holding back tears ) Is he paying money for me?

MICHAEL:Well, sort of…

PETER:How come Mama doesn’t come see me?

MICHAEL:They agreed that you would not see or meet each other.

PETER:He paid money so that she will never see me?

MICHAEL:He loves you very much… He loves you so much he wants to have you all to himself.

PETER:If Papa loves me, why he isn’t home more?

MICHAEL:He’s an engineer. He has to travel around to different cities. He visits many different businesses that need his knowledge. Some times he gets to ride in a helicopter. When you are older he’ll probably take you with him.

PETER( Stars crying ): I want him home. Not just you…

MICHAEL:Peter, you know… You know. I had never seen my real parents…

PETER( stops crying ): Why?

MICHAEL:Tom’s mother and father took care of me like a son. It’s called “adoption.”

PETER:Who’s Tom?

MICHAEL:Tom, you know him, we go to Mac Donald’s every Wednesday with him. Tom is just like a brother to me. ( Pause ) Tom’s parents both worked very hard. My adoptive father usually came home late after I had gone to bed.…

PETER:You had a brother, but I’m all alone…

MICHAEL:Tom was mean to me for a long time. He used to hide my sneakers. He snuck bites from my desert. ( Pause ) Adoption made me different. It was a dirty word back then. Tom told all the kids on the block and at school. They tackled me hardest when we played pick up football. I had to be tough. ( Pause ) Peter, you see your father more often than I saw my adoptive father… Soon your Dad will come home, have dinner with you, read to you and tuck you in. ( Pause ) Now tell me where you have hidden my electric razor.

PETER( sulking ): Didn’t hide it.

MICHAEL:It’s always on the shelf in the bathroom, and now it isn’t there. I guess, you want to play “hide and seek”…

PETER( still sulking ): I don’t want to play any games with you. I want my Papa. ( Pause ) He bought me like a loaf of bread!

(PETERstarts crying. MICHAEL tries to hug him but is pushed away.)

MICHAEL:We have talked about a lot… about a lot big things… adult things… It’s all new to you… I’ve been completely honest with you… and I love you.

PETER:I want Papa…

MICHAEL:He’ll be home soon for dinner… Let’s try not to upset him… He’ll be tired. Papa doesn’t know that you know so much. ( Pause ) This has been hard for me. I’m tired too. ( Pause ) And now if you don’t want to play “hide and seek,” tell me where my razor is.

PETER:Why do you want your razor?

MICHAEL:I’d like to shave and shower, and put on a clean shirt, neaten up for dinner…

PETER:You haven’t shaved all week and now that Papa is coming home you want to shave!

MICHAEL:Jake likes me clean-shaven…

PETER:So you and Papa can kiss each other?

MICHAEL( stunned ):What have you seen?

PETER:I saw how you and Papa kissed… I never saw him kiss my other babysitters… Every babysitter left after awhile, and another one came. Why are you always here?

MICHAEL:Papa entrusts you to me. We agreed we’d see how you and I got along.

PETER:You’ll be here, even when Papa is home?

MICHAEL:We all will be sort of like a family.

PETER:A family?

MICHAEL:Not a family like your friends Andy or Zack has with their parents… It would be another sort of family…There are a lot different kinds of families nowadays…

Our family would be a better family than you having one babysitter and then another babysitter. We will all get to know each other better.

PETER:It means you’ll live with us always?

MICHAEL:Maybe….I like to read to you… I like to play with you… I love you. ( Pause ) We’ll get different kinds of power from each other… Like Harry Potter has powers beyond anybody else…

PETER:What kind of powers?

MICHAEL:Who knows? So much happens that we don’t understand…

(PETERhas been getting more and more unsettled.)

Peter,what do you want to ask me about? What’s the matter?

PETER:I don’t it like when you pick me up at school!

MICHAEL:Why not?

PETER:When you started to come, the mothers and babysitters hurried my friends away. ( Pause ) Yesterday Andy and Zack didn’t let me play with them. Today they pushed me around and called me “fairy!”… I want a babysitter like all the other kids.

MICHAEL: I’dbetter talk to your teacher…

PETER( Beginning to cry ): No! No! You can’t go to school… No don’t talk to Mr. Allen

MICHAEL( nervously ): Peter, OK… Don’t cry… I only want to help you… Soon your Dad will come and he’ll see your tears… I promise not to go to school…

PETER( Stops crying ): I can take care of myself. ( Pause ) I think your razor is in my room…

(MICHAEL,relieved and smiling, exits. PETER pushes the old drawing aside and starts a new drawing.

MICHAEL( beginning to cry ): Peter! I don’t see it!

PETER:Where are you?

MICHAEL:I’m by your table.

PETER:Cold.