Людмила Ансельм - Короткие пьесы

ANNA:But it was a mistake.

PETER:I decided that I was committed to marry you…Well, I’ve come to see you on business. I finally wanted to dot all the “i”s. Now I understand everything. You’re a liar and disgusting trash! I feel suffocated! I’m divorcing you. I’ll complete the divorce agreement myself. Good-bye!

Peterleaves. Anna runs after him.

ANNA:Peter, wait stop! I told you a lie!

PETER:( stops at the door ). More lies?

ANNA:Listen, I had a love affair and it ended when he, my lover, died in a car crash. He was hurrying to be with me when…( Anna swallows hard. ) passed a bus and hit another car…

Pause.

PETER:Passed a bus? Passed… When did it happen?

ANNA:Six months ago.

PETER:Six months… It was Michael! My best friend!

ANNA:Yes, Michael.

PETER:How did it happen?

ANNA:He was hurrying to see me…

PETER:I introduced you to Michael! I was proud for you to see what a wonderful friend I had.

ANNA:He was really a wonderful…

PETER:You’re going to say “a lover”? I can’t believe… it can’t be true. If there had been something between you, I certainly would have noticed it.

ANNA:You and Michael didn’t meet so often lately… He was afraid that you would suspect us.

PETER:I respected him so much: joyful, full of life, and so tragically… We’d been friends as kids: at school, at college…he had always rescued me… when we were about twelve; a dog jumped out and grabbed my leg… Michael found a stick and beat the dog away. I still have the scar; I can show it to you.

ANNA:I’ve seen your “dog bite” a lot of times…

PETER:We used to be close friends… Used to read each other well, so quick on the uptake… How come I didn’t notice anything?

ANNA:You were busy… You so persistently hung round his wife.

PETER:It was nothing serious… ( angry silence. ) Oh, and she must’ve noticed that there was something between you. Women – they notice everything. I’ll call her right now…

Grabshis cell phone.

ANNA:Stop it! Can you really call a woman who lost her husband just six months ago and ask her about her husband’s infidelity?

Petersilently closes his cell phone and throws it.

ANNA:Didn’t you have an affair with her? I thought that you were seeing each other, especially after his death.

PETER:How could he? I cannot believe… My best friend…

Silencewhile Peter stares with confused interest at Anna.

ANNA:Why are looking at me like that?

PETER:Anna, what did he see in you?

ANNA:Think…

PETER:I don’t… Tell me, please…

ANNA:He loved me… It was real passion…

PETER:Amazing! So unexpectedly. He was striking, brilliant, so able…

Pause.

Whatnow…

ANNA:Peter, you’ve come to agree about our divorce. Let’s start.

PETER:Anna, wait, wait… let me see…

ANNA:Just a second. I will get the agreement you sent me.

PETER:Anna, I don’t know…

ANNA:Since you’ve come, let’s do it. We need to dot all the “i”s…

PETER:I need time…I have to understand… Maybe, I’ve changed my mind…

THE END

BOB:14-year-old boy

MA:Peter’s mother

A living room. Curtains drawn over a window. At rise BOB’S hand is poised and eyes are staring at the phone he expects to answer any second. Ma enters in a rush and grabs for the phone. Peter deftly deflects her hand and grabs the receiver him self.

MA:Why did you do that? I have to call Aunt Gail.

BOB:Call her later.

MA:I want to call her now.

BOB:Can’t you see? I’m expecting a call.

MA:Who?

BOB:Emma will call. We agreed to go to the movies.

MA:Why don’t you call her?

BOB:It’s the Sabbath. Her family can’t use the phone until “first star”, like around sunset time.

MA:Give me the phone. Gail and I can certainly finish talking before sunset!

BOB:No! Emma will call any minute from a pay phone.

( Maupset, falls into the sofa )

Calllater after Emma and I go… or call her on your cell phone…

MA:I have to pay to use the cell phone before nine o’clock.

BOB:Call after nine… What’s the hurry?

MA:Aunt Gail owed me $100. She gave it back to me yesterday, but when I counted it, $10 was missing. Maybe this was her installment idea, or a mistake.

BOB:Why doesn’t Emma call? I asked her a week ago and I reminded her again yesterday. She promised to call. I hope… I hope…

MA:Try calling her yourself.

BOB:I did. No one answered. Maybe she’s sick.

MA:If she’s sick she certainly should have called you.

BOB:Look at me Ma. What’s different?

( Mapeers at BOB )

MA:You shaved! Why?

BOB:Girls were teasing me “Fuzz Face”. What do you think?

MA:That was such nice soft fuzz on your cheeks. I loved to stroke it. Where did you get the razor?

BOB:Uncle Ted, Aunt Gale’s boyfriend. He has an electric shaver.

MA:So soon…

BOB:I told you I wanted to shave.

MA:I know you wanted to shave for your date… Did you use an after-shave lotion?

BOB:No. Should have?

MA:All your pimples are bright red… Next time we’ll at least put some rubbing alcohol on your face after shaving…

BOB:I saw… I’m so embarrassed… Ma why doesn’t Emma call? She should…

MA:I don’t know… Instead of doing your homework you are wasting time shaving too soon and mooning over a girl. Silliness…

BOB:It’s not silly. I just want to go to the movies with Emma… Practically all the boys in my class have girl friends… I have nothing to boast about and, they don’t talk to me…

MA:And they won’t until you do better in school… Good marks get respect…

BOB:Girls don’t care about boys’ marks! They like boys who risk and clown and have to stay after school.

MA:Emma?

BOB:She’s smart…

MA:Then why don’t you work harder? Talk to her about hard homework…

BOB:There’s nothing I’m interested in…

MA:Now the school psychiatrist wants me to go and talk with him. Are you arguing with your teachers again?

BOB:They tell stories and stupid lies.

MA:What lies? Tell the truth now!

BOB:Mr. Small my biology teacher said that he’s reading Solzhenizin’s book “Archipelago Gulag” and that if a man peed outside in the winter cold the hospital could operate on his frozen penis without anesthesia!

(Pause)

Iraised my hand and said this was stupid.

MA:How do you know that it was not true?

BOB:I didn’t, but I asked Uncle Ted and he agreed that it didn’t sound right.

MA:I really don’t care whether it can happen… tell me better about your session yesterday with the psychiatrist.

BOB( bored ): He wanted me to put the words on some little wooden blocks in alphabetic order.

MA:So?

BOB:I don’t know the last part of the alphabet, so I built a pyramid out of the blocks…

MA:I’ve got a son who doesn’t want to learn and I have to go to school!

…Have you started that report you have to hand in Tuesday?

BOB:No, but…

MA:Emma won’t call you!

BOB:Why?

MA:When I was a little girl I studied hard and liked boys who were good in school. And you are just a… You just have to learn…

BOB:All you say is study, study… you forget that now it’s spring…

( Forchange the theme ) Ma, tell me better how you met my father…

(Pause)

MA:That was a long time ago… in Russia… I don’t remember.

BOB:But I want to know something about my father…You loved him?

(Pause)

MA:Yes, I loved him…

BOB:Was he your first love?

MA:First, no! When I was in school there was the boy that I liked, all the girls liked him too…

(Pause)

BOB:Did he like you?

(Pause)

MA:No.

BOB:So nothing happened?

MA:Something…

BOB:What?

MA:I wrote him a letter saying how much I liked him… and he told everybody that he was my “Heart Throb”.

BOB:And then?

MA:The whole class laughed at me.

BOB:And you?

MA:I cried.

BOB( sympathizing ): All saw you cry?

MA:I cried at home… But I went to school after that… And learned all my lessons…

BOB:What happened after that?

MA:I graduated that spring and went to work…

BOB:And? Where did you meet my father?

MA:We worked in the same place.

( Malaughs to herself )

BOB:Why are you laughing?

MA:I just remembered how we met.

BOB:How?

MA:We all ate lunch in the same cafeteria. When I saw him the first time I thought, “He’s for me”, but he walked right by. He didn’t notice me. So I set out to try. I jumped in back of him in line. He put a bowl of soup on his tray. I quickly hit his tray with mine. His soup spilled all over his tray. He glanced at me and wanted to swear, but then I took the exact same soup as his. We sat at the same table and traded soups. That’s how our friendship started.

BOB( laughing admiringly ): You were quick! And then?

MA:He asked me to a movie…