StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky - Lōkōpō kikowaena. Hōʻike kūlohelohe

– Baska, ke ʻōlelo mai nei ʻoe, he dwarf?

– Uh …, ʻaʻole, kala, haʻalele.

– ʻĀnō, e noʻonoʻo ʻoe ma hope, e pili ana i ke ʻano o nā poʻe o nā lālā a me nā mea nona nā ʻāpana. Aia, he aha kāu i loaʻa ai, kekahi mea nui?

– Ae!!!

– He aha kou ʻāʻī, ʻaʻole ka Lūkini ʻo Pygmy?

– E kala, ʻae.

– ʻĀnō, e kamaʻilio pū mākou e pili ana i nā palena o ke kani ʻana o ke kelepona ʻana i ke kelepona ʻana, i hāpai ʻia i ka heluhelu mua ʻana o ka ʻaha kūkā o Moscow a me Lūkini.. No laila, pehea ʻoe e Sneak Bug? A hele wikiwiki, hiki wau i ka hālāwai.

– Ua nānā ʻoe i ka pō nei i kahi aʻe e pili ana i ka Call Center?

– ʻAʻole, loaʻa iaʻu kahi DiViDishka. A ma?

– Ma St. Petersburg, ua ʻaihue ʻia kahi kolokolo i ka Nose.

– A he?

– Makemake wau e noiʻi i kēia hihia, inā e ʻae mai ʻoe iaʻu, e Mr. Mr. Marshall.

– He aha nā ihu ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻohe mea i hōʻike mai iaʻu, e ʻōlelo pololei loa aku. ʻO wai ka ʻaha i hōʻoki ʻia ai ko lākou ihu

– ʻAe, me Gogol..

– Ua hōʻoki ʻia ka ihu o Gogol?

– ʻAʻole, he moʻolelo ʻo Gogol e pili ana iā FNL.

– A he?

– I ka hoʻohanohano ʻana o kēia moʻolelo, ua kūkulu ʻia kahi pā hoʻomanaʻo i St. Petersburg a ua ʻaihue ʻia. Ma ka ʻike maopopo iā wai ka mea nāna i hana.

– Loaʻa a ʻole paha? ʻAʻole kekahi. ʻO kona keleawe. A he aha hoʻi kāu e makemake ai mai iaʻu?

– E hoʻokaʻawale i kēia ʻoihana, ke kākala.

– E wikiwiki ʻoe, e aha ke aha? Akā wale nō i kou manawa manawa.

– Akā au e pono ai i nā koina, lilo nā huakaʻi hele, ʻai, ʻai hale ʻaina, holo kaʻa a holo.

– M-o. Pono e hoʻomaka me kēia. ʻO ia wale nō e hele ai i St. Petersburg, hiki nō iā ʻoe ke lawe i ka ʻoni ma ke kaʻa, ʻo ka pilina Bomzhovskoe, no laila ʻaʻohe pili ka hōkele. Hiki iā ʻoe ke loli ma ke kaʻa a i ʻole, i ka ʻole, ma ka hale ʻole i ka papahele. E ʻai pū ʻoe me lākou; A ma ke kūlanakauhale a me nā wāwae e hiki iā ʻoe ke hele me nā mākaʻikaʻi o St. Petersburg. ʻAʻohe kālā i ka waihona kālā a hiki i ka hoʻopau ʻana i ka kūkulu ʻana i ka hale ʻaina. Ma, e hoʻomaopopo mai ʻoe iaʻu?

– A mai ka pākuʻu kālā o kaʻu Manaʻo? Ua koho au i kahi mea liʻiliʻi ma luna o nā uku mai ka mea mahiʻai o nā mea mahiʻai.

– A he nui?

– ʻAe, lawa kēia no ka manawa mua.

– ʻAole. Lawe iā ia mai ka moʻolelo. Inā ʻoe e hoʻoponopono i ka pilikia, e uku aku wau i nā kumukūʻai o ke kūʻai ʻana, akā ʻaʻole naʻe! ʻAʻole wau noʻu e hoʻoholo, no ka mea, lehulehu ka kālā.

– Maikaʻi, Eximendius Janis oglu Snegiryov. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ua liʻiliʻi koʻu manawa, akā e pae mai au i kahi mea. – Ua waiho ʻo Ottila i ke kelepona a kau ʻia ma luna o ka papa ʻaina, hoʻonui ʻia nā lima.

– Eia, he hana hou! Ma kēia lākou e ʻike lākou iaʻu ma Petrovka 38.

Ua puka ka puka, a puka mai nā meʻe nui o Isolde Fifovna, kona ʻaoʻao nui.

– E ʻai anei ʻoe? – noi ʻo ia me ka ʻoluʻolu, – a mai pale ʻole ma ka papa ʻaina, holoi pū wau.

– E ʻoluʻolu wau i ka ʻaina kakahiaka!

– He aha ke ʻano o IA? ʻIke wau i ka mea hoʻolana a i ʻole? Hele i ka lumi kuke a ʻai e like me nā mea ʻē aʻe. ʻAʻole wau e halihali.

– Aloha wau e, akā e kāhea ʻo Marshall iaʻu.

– Malima? E ʻōlelo nō wau. A laila e kali. E lawe mai ke keiki i kēia mea i koe. A e haʻalele iā i ka papaʻaina, ʻo Sherlock Holmes… Hahaha … – ʻakaʻaka ʻo ia a komo i loko o ka lua o ka pahu o ka hut.

Ua kū pono ka puka alo a hope, a ʻo Kopal Incephalopath i kū i ka puka.

– Hiki iaʻu ke loaʻa kahi pahu?

– E hele mai a noho ma… ʻO mākou he ʻoihana… ʻapōpō e hele mākou i St. Petersburg. – Kū aʻela ʻo Ottila a huli a noho i kahi noho.

– No ke aha?

– E ʻimi ka ʻaha kanaka i ka ihu o Gogol.

– Aaaaa … – komo maila ka encephalopath a noho ihola i loko o kahi noho no nā lālā a me nā malihini, e hoʻolei ana i kahi wāwae ma kahi wāwae. – Ke hoʻomanaʻo nei wau, ʻo Bos…

APULAZ 2

Nānā iki ʻia ʻo Harutun Karapetovich He helehelena maʻamau ka maka. He poʻo hina ka lauoho, lōʻihi ke alo o nā poʻohiwi, ʻoiai he mauʻu. Ma Tiechka aia kahi hōʻeha paʻa i loaʻa mai ka hana ma mua he mea mālama i nā limahana loea. Ma mua, ua ʻimi ʻo ia ma ke ʻano he pēpē, ma hope o ʻumi makahiki i loko o ka hale paʻahao, me he paʻahao paʻa. Ua haʻi aku ka ʻōkuhi i pili iā Lenin, ke alakaʻi o ka proletariat, a me nā puaʻa, hoʻi i ka mea hoʻoponopono ma ka ʻaha kauhale, a kuʻi maila ia. E ʻoluʻolu e ʻoluʻolu a Lenin, e ʻakaʻaka wale nō, akā ʻo nā luna kūloko i laila – ʻaʻole. Aka, aia nō ma ka wā hope o Soviet. A ma ia mea, me ka nalo ʻana o ka ʻōnaehana Soviet, ua nalowale hoʻi ka palapala lawehala. Ua ʻōlelo hou ʻia ʻo ia a hāʻawi i nā pōpō waiwai. Akā me kona lohi ʻana, makemake ʻo ia i mea e pono ai no ka ʻepekema, a laila lilo ka wahine o ka mākaʻi hou wahi i hoʻopio ʻia me kona mau maka uliuli… a ʻo ke koena ʻo HACK… No laila, manaʻo wau, ʻaʻole hoʻohiki… No laila ua hele ʻo ia i ka hui hale o i ka mākaʻi o ka moku, a ua waiho ka ia mai ka lawelawe kaua.

Ua makemake ʻo ia iā Poirot ka ʻaha Pelekane a no laila ua huki ʻo ia i ka paipa e like me Holmes, hoʻopiʻi wale ʻo ia iā lākou. Hana ia ʻo ia i ka pāpale a me ke kumule, e like me Elkyl, ʻo Georgian wale nō. ʻO kekahi keke ke kūʻai aku i kahi like a me ka tailcoat mai nā limahana i ka Mariinsky Opera a me Ballet Theatre no kahi pahu o moonshine. Ua hoʻoholo ʻia nā kāmaʻa e kahi hoalauna e lawelawe ana ma ke ʻano ka mea kahakaha ma ka wahi. Ua ʻāʻī ʻo ia iā lākou me nā pōkole a i kona hele wāwae ʻana, ʻoi aku hoʻi i ke asphalt, pāluhi ʻo ia e like me kahi lio a he kaikamahine mai Broadway Ua like kona ihu me ka ʻaeto, A ʻo kona mau maka nui, ua like me ka lemur.

«No laila,» i ʻōlelo ai ʻo Ottila, a noho ihola ma luna o kahi noho. Ua hoʻopiʻi ʻo Izya i ka puka a komo i loko o ke keʻena. Ma luna o kahi pākuʻi, ua lawe ʻo ia i nā moa i ʻoki ʻia me ka iʻa a me kāna punahele punahele i kāhea ʻia. – e hele wikiwiki paha, inā «ālele ʻole ka python.

– Fuuuu! – Ka hoʻohālikelike ʻana o Incephalopath, – pehea lā ʻoe e inu ai? Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻomaha…

– He aha kāu e hoʻomaopopo ai i loko o nā mea momona nani? Mai inu. Makemake wau ia. -ulk.. – i laliki I t a Ottila me.., – Uhhh, – kaa loi ma ka aoao. Lele aku la a lele aku la i ka huina mamao o ke keena. Ua waiho mai ka pahu o nā foggy mau ʻōpala me nā hua o ke kūlohelohe o ka ʻāʻī a hele koke, e like me ka waimaka waimaka. No ka mea, ua hopu ʻia ʻo Arutuna me ka pohihihi a me ka palu ʻana i ke ʻano, ʻaʻole ia i hiki i ke akamai.

– E hilahila ai kekahi mea paha?! He kūpono wau no ko ʻoukou poʻe kūpuna.

– A he makuahine paha? – ke hele nei ʻo Ottila i nā hua a ʻeli, a me ka waha, ke uhaki ʻana i nā pōpoki, hakakā maoli: – ʻae nā kānaka a pau, e ʻōlelo ana i ka poʻe Hindu, e iho ana i ka makika a me ka ʻala ʻana i kāna ʻoki me ka lau lau. Makemake kou maka?

– ʻAe! E kala mai, ke kiaʻi, ua poina iaʻu kekahi mea … – ua hilahila ʻo Arutun Karapetovich a noho ihola i kahi noho.

PĀkiʻi koke kekahi puka komo ʻana i kahi puka a komo kekahi luahine wahine ma kahi o hoʻokahi haneli mau makahiki i komo aku ai i loko o ke keʻena.

– Nawai ʻoe i pani ʻole i ka puka??? Aiʻa ole wau, ka makuaahine!!! – Loaʻa Klop a kalaka…

Ua lohe ka wahine i ka uukui a holo akula iā ia me kahi pepa a me kahi peni, no laila i kākau ai ia i kahi makemake. Aka, i ka ike ana i kona makee ole, ua wili a poepoe i kana kane ma na koha kaao poohiwi. Ua kāhea ʻo Ottila i waho i ka huaʻala.

– ʻOh, ʻo Harutun, kahi kākeke kahiko, no ke aha ʻoe i hoʻopaʻa ʻole ai i ka puka ma hope ou i kou hele ʻana mai? A ʻo ʻoe, e ka graneni, e hele mai, i hui mākou.

– ʻAe? nīnau i ke kupuna wahine kuli.

– Kaule! hele mai i hope o ka ʻaina!! – ʻ Kllelo nui ʻo Klop.

– ʻAi, ʻai, momona ʻoe me ka marigold… E kali wau. – ʻoni ka makuahine, a hoʻowalewale i lalo, no laila, ʻaʻohe noho ma luna, a ʻaʻohe maʻamau ke hāʻawi i ʻaneʻi, ʻaʻohe mea mai ka lehulehu e noʻonoʻo ai.

– He aha ke ʻano awakea? Huh? Aia wau i ka ʻaina kakahiaka… A laila ma ka kumuhana: hana me nā subordinates. – Kuʻi ʻo Ottila i kona lima a hoʻopaʻa iā ia i kahi puna me kahi ʻāpana o ka hua, ua huki koke ʻo ia i ka luʻu i ka maka o Harutun, – a ʻo ʻoe? – lele i loko o kahi noho, – ʻaʻole mahalo aloha mediocrity, – a laila lele i luna o ka papaʻaina, – hiki ʻai wale ʻoe i ka meonshine, a kuʻi pū kekahi i nā maka kekahi. ʻAʻole au e hele e like me ka coyote.. – a like me ka acrobat, e hoʻohana ana i kahi ʻenehike, lele wau mai ka papaʻaina a hiki i ka papahele, – a hoʻonoho pū me ʻoe.. E kākau i kahi ʻōlelo a me kahi kumu!

– He aha ka ʻōlelo? He aha kāu mea e ʻakaʻaka ai? «Ua hāpau ʻo Isolde Fifovna iā ia me ke kāhea o King Kong.»

– ʻAi? – ua hoʻomaka ka dwarf mai ka hoʻomaka.

– He wai ʻoe? – noi aku ’o ia me ka lewa mālie a me ka mālie, – ʻaʻole’ oe e ’ike, ua hiamoe kona hiamoe.

– A laila, eia i kēia, i kēia manawa e noho ai? Incifalatus, e lawe i kēia ka penikala. – Ua hoʻi hou ʻo Ottila i kahi ʻeke a piʻi aʻe i luna o kahi noho e moe mau ai.

– He kanaka wau ʻo Incephalopath, he kiaʻi, ʻaʻole ka Incifalate. – hoʻoponopono i ka Kālepika a hele i ka wahine kahiko hiamoe. Hoʻopiliʻo ia iā ia me kahi puʻu, e like me Poirot a i Watson. – E nā mea aloha, ʻae?! – huli i ka Boss, i noho pono i ka papa ʻaina a i ka hoʻokūkū.

– ʻO Boss, ʻo ia, i koʻu manaʻo, ʻōhumu.

– Wai? Role-pāpū.

– Aloha. ʻAʻole i hanu. Ua make ia. – hou hoʻi me ka makaʻu i kona leo, ʻī akula ʻo Harutun. Ua palolo kona lehelehe. Ua noʻonoʻo ʻo ia e like pū ka hoʻokau like ʻole iā ia. Uwe iho la o Harutun.

Piʻi ʻo Ottila me ka waha o ka meaʻai. Nānā akula ʻo ia i kāna wahine a nīnau:

– Zhinka, hele i ka nānā ʻana iā ia.

Ua piʻi aʻe ʻo Fifovna a hāpai i ka wahine kahiko ma ke kolo. Hele maila nā wāwae mai ka papahele, ʻaʻole i kū pololei nā kuli. Piʻi akula ʻo ia a hoʻonoho i ke kupapaʻu e like me kahi paʻu i mua o kahi moʻo, ke nānā wale nei me kona waha ua piha i nā hua ʻuʻupu, kāna kāne.

– E ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho, e schmuck, ua make ʻo ia a i ʻole?! – a kokoke e haʻalele. -He, Zhinka. E ʻane mai ʻoe no ka Zhinka. hōʻa…

– E lawe aku ʻoe iā ia ma luna o ka papaʻaina, ʻoe ka mea kala ʻole!!! Manaʻo ʻoe… a i ʻole? ʻO wau ka moku, a me ka luna, a me ʻoe?…

– Ma, hoʻomaka hou. – kāpili ʻia ka pahū ʻo Intsephalopath.

– A ke hoʻohana nei ʻoe i ka waihona kālā Ottila Aligadzhievich Klop no ka manuahi! – Holo ka pūlohelohe mai ka waha mai, – A ma ka laulā… pah, shit, – kākā ʻo ia i nā ʻōmaka a pau mai kona waha a ʻā mai, ma mua o ka piʻi ʻana mai i ka papa ʻaina. «He wahine wahine ʻoe ma ʻaneʻi.» Loaʻa ia?

– ʻ Yes, kuʻu haku. -Donald Isoldushka a kukuli. Ua ʻōlelo ʻia kona poʻo me ke poʻo o kāna kāne e kū ana i luna o ka papa ʻaina. A ʻo ka nui o ko lākou mau poʻo i hoʻoweliweli wale ai i kekahi pessimist: ʻElima mau poʻo ʻo kona poʻo ma mua ona.

– ʻAe, heh heh heh, kala mai iaʻu, lawe i kēia kupuna wahine i waho o ka puka ma ka lānai. ʻAi, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ke kāka. Ma ke kakahiaka loa a loaʻa mai kekahi iā ia.