Виктор Миловидов - Английский разговорный шутя. 100 самых смешных анекдотов на лучшие разговорные темы

And she says, «So have I, love.»

He cries out, «Don't tell me you've eaten my socks!»

Study the words and expressions given below:

confessionпризнание

coupleпара

honeymoonмедовый месяц

edgeкрай

bathtubванна

smellyпахучий, вонючий

to stinkвонять

to manageудаваться, преуспевать в чем-л.

to date зд. встречаться до брака

meanwhileтем временем

breathдыхание

to courtухаживать

gentlyмягко

to climbзабираться

hersее

to keep sth from sbскрывать что-л. от кого-л.

to be boundбыть вынужденным

to find outобнаруживать

sooner or laterрано или поздно

to be luckyбыть удачливым

as soon asкак только, так…

to pluck up enough courageсобраться с духом

So have I.И я тоже.

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. Where was the husband sitting?

2. What did he worry about?

3. Guess how he had managed to keep his socks as well as his feet away from his would-be wife while they were dating?

4. Where was the wife sitting?

5. How long would it take the man to learn everything about his wife's breath, she thought?

6. Why did the man think that his wife had eaten his socks?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. A young couple _______ on their honeymoon.

2. How can I tell my wife that my socks _______ stink?

3. I've _______ to keep it from her while we were dating.

4. I've been very _______ to keep it from him.

5. He's _______ to find out.

6. How do I tell him _______?

7. Darling, I've a _______ to make.

8. So have I, _______.

3. Match the two parts of each sentence:

4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Рано или поздно она вынуждена будет обнаружить это.

2. Тем временем жена сидела в постели.

3. Мне удавалось делать это, пока мы встречались.

4. Как мне сказать ему об этом мягко?

5. Муж наконец собирается с духом.

6. Он забирается к своей жене, обвивает ее шею своей рукой и говорит.

7. Я тоже, любовь моя.

В предложении A young couple were on their honeymoon… подлежащее, выраженное существительным в форме единственного числа, согласуется со сказуемым, выраженным глаголом во множественном числе.

Проверьте свои знания согласования подлежащего и сказуемого в английском предложении. В случае необходимости используйте грамматический комментарий (раздел 8).

6. Choose the appropriate form of the verb:

1. The husband, as well as his wife, (was, were) _______ in the hotel.

2. It (was, were) _______ the young couple who rented the apartment.

3. Both the husband and the wife (was, were) _______ bound to find it out.

4. Everyone in the house (know, knows) _______ that they have left.

5. Both (was, were) _______ afraid to confess their secrets to each other.

6. A pair of his socks (was, were) _______ lying on the table.

7. Neither my wife nor her relatives (know, knows) _______ that my feet stink.

8. The number of married couples in our hotel (is, are) _______ growing.

9. Honeymoon Jokes (is, are) _______ the most funny section of the book.

В предложении And she says, «So have I, love»… используется краткая форма выражения солидарности с предыдущей репликой диалога. Таких форм – положительных и отрицательных – существует несколько.

Проверьте свои знания данных форм, при необходимости обращаясь к грамматическому комментарию (раздел 9).

7. Fill in the blanks with appropriate forms. Follow the directions given:

Model:

1. We were on our honeymoon. (They – so): So were they.

2. The husband wasn't sitting in the bathroom. (I – neither): Neither was I.

1. I've got really smelly feet. (they – too)

2. My socks absolutely stink. (mine – also)

3. I didn't manage to keep it from her. (we – either)

4. We weren't dating. (they – neither)

5. I've been very lucky to keep it from him. (she – so)

6. The husband has finally plucked up enough courage. (I – so)

7. He hadn't walked into the bedroom. (she – either)

8. He won't walk over to the bed. (I – neither)

9. He didn't put his arm around her neck. (I – either)

10. He moves his face very close to hers. (I – too)

11. I've a confession to make. (she – so)

8. Insert articles where necessary:

1. The husband was sitting in _______ bathroom on edge of the bathtub.

2. I've got really smell _______ feet and my socks absolutely stink.

3. I've managed to keep it from _______ her while we were dating.

4. The wife was sitting in _______ bed.

5. How do I tell my _______ husband that I've got really badbreath?

6. The husband plucks up enoug _______ hcourage.

7. He walks into _______ bedroom.

8. He puts his arm around her _______ neck.

9.Render the joke.

A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn't have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided to just go back to their new apartment after the wedding.

The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other an ordinary guy, and the third a dentist.

They all decided to pull practical jokes on their newly married friends. The carpenter decided he would cut the slats in the bed so that when they climbed into bed, the bed would collapse. The ordinary guy decided to short-sheet the bed, so that when they got into it their feet wouldn't reach the bottom. The dentist chuckled and wouldn't tell anyone what he planned to do.

A week later the three friends all received letters in the mail.

«Dear friends, we didn't mind the fact that when we got into bed, the bed collapsed, or the guy that short-sheeted it, but I'm gonna kill the bastard that put the novacaine in the vaseline!»

Study the words and expressions given below:

groomжених

to commitсовершать, устраивать

carpenterплотник

ordinaryобычный

guyпарень

dentistдантист

slatперекладина

to collapseпадать, рушиться

bottomниз

to chuckleхихикать

to mindвозражать, иметь что-либо против

bastardублюдок

novacaineновокаин

vaselineвазелин

to plan on doing sthпланировать сделать что-л.

to be prone to doing sthиметь склонность к чему-л.

close friendблизкий друг

practical jokeрозыгрыш

to pull a joke on sbподшутить над кем-л.

newly marriedмолодожены

to short-sheetподвернуть простыню под матрац

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. Why did the couple decide to just go back to their new apartment after the wedding?

2. What were the groom's close friends prone to committing?

3. What were they?

4. How did the carpenter decide to make fun of the newly married couple?

5. What did the ordinary guy decide to do?

6. Why didn't the dentist say what he was going to do?

7. How long did it take the newly married couple to write letters to their friends?

8. What was the young husband going to do with the dentist?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. A couple was planning on _______ married.

2. They decided to _______ go back to their new apartment.

3. The groom had three _______ friends.

4. They were prone to _______ practical jokes.

5. They decided to _______ a practical joke on their friends.

6. The carpenter decided he _______ cut the slats.

7. The bed would _______.

8. Their feet didn't _______ the bottom.

3. Say if the sentences are true of false:

1. They decided to just go to Italy after the wedding.

2. The groom had three close friends.

3. The carpenter decided he would put the novacaine in the vaseline.

4. The ordinary guy decided to short-sheet the bed.

5. The dentist chuckled and told he would pull the bride's teeth out.

6. A week later the three friends all received telegrams.

4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Парочка собиралась пожениться.

2. У жениха было трое близких друзей.

3. Они имели склонность к розыгрышам.

4. Плотник решил, что он подрубит перекладины на постели.

5. Дантист усмехнулся и никому не захотел сказать, что он собирается сделать.