Виктор Миловидов - Английский разговорный шутя. 100 самых смешных анекдотов на лучшие разговорные темы

6. Я убью ублюдка!

В предложении The carpenter decided he would cut the slats… используется не встречающаяся в русском языке временная форма глагола – будущее-в-прошедшем время. Она образуется при помощи вспомогательного глагола would.

Этот же глагол – в другом значении – используется в предложении The dentist chuckled and wouldn't tell anyone what he planned to do…

Проверьте, насколько хорошо вы владеете этой формой глагола, при необходимости обращаясь к грамматическому комментарию (разделы 10, 11).

6. Fill in the blanks with appropriate forms of the verbs:

1. As the young couple didn't have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided that they (to go back) _______ to their new apartment after the wedding.

2. The groom's close friends thought that they (to act) _______ wisely if they (to commit) _______ some practical jokes on their newly married friends.

3. The carpenter decided he (to cut) _______ the slats.

4. They thought that when the couple (to climb) _______ into bed, the bed (to collapse) _______.

5. The ordinary guy decided to short-sheet the bed, so that their feet (not to reach) _______ the bottom.

6. The dentist chuckled and (not to tell) _______ anyone what he planned to do.

7. Find English equivalents to the Russian words in the scanword:

1. (с… ) совершать, 2. (с… ) падать, 3. (m… ) женатый, 4. (с… ) признание, 5. (с… ) пара, 6. (b… ) дыхание, 7. (с… ) мужество, 8. (1… ) удачливый, 9. (r… ) осознавать, 10. (1… ) грузить.

8. Render the joke.

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman. But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the bannister for dear life.

She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, «Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!»

The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, «Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years and I thought he meant his money!!»

Study the words and expressions given below:

brideневеста

feebleслабый, хилый

healthyздоровый

vivaciousживой, веселый

bannisterперила

concernозабоченность, беспокойство

whateverчто бы то ни было, что же

to wrestleбороться, заниматься борьбой

alligatorаллигатор

to groanстонать

save upкопить

to meanиметь в виду

to be all abuzz разг. to buzzжужжать, волноваться

lo and behold уст. и вот! о чудо!

step by stepшаг за шагом, ступенька за ступенькой

to hang onto (on to) sthвисеть, виснуть на чем-л.

for dear life(борясь) за жизнь из последних сил

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. Why was the hotel all abuzz?

2. How old were the groom and the bride?

3. What did the groom look like?

4. In what manner did the bride come down the next morning?

5. What did the clerk at the counter ask the bride?

6. How long had the groom been saving up?

7. What had he been saving up?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. The hotel was all abuzz _______ the wedding.

2. The groom looked _______ feeble.

3. The _______ was that the wedding night might kill him.

4. _______ next morning, the bride came down the main staircase.

5. She _______ managed to get to the counter.

6. The clerk looked _______ concerned.

7. You _______ like you've been wrestling an alligator.

3. Match the two parts of the sentences:

4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Жених выглядел весьма хилым.

2. Брачная ночь могла убить его.

3. Но, о чудо! на следующее утро невеста медленно спустилась вниз, держась за перила.

4. Клерк выглядел действительно озабоченным.

5. Вы выглядите так, словно боролись с аллигатором.

В предложениях You look like you've been wrestling an alligator и He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years… используется форма совершенного длительного времени, имеющая весьма своеобразную сферу применения и отличающаяся от форм совершенного времени.

Проверьте, насколько хорошо вы владеете этой формой, при необходимости обратившись к грамматическому комментарию (раздел 12).

6.Fill in the blanks with appropriate forms of the verbs:

1. A small tourist hotel (to wait) _______ for the newly married since early in the morning.

2. They (to come) _______ to the conclusion about their age only after a long discussion.

3. The bride (to prepare) _______ for the wedding night for about two hours, and when she was ready, the groom (already to fall) _______ asleep.

4. She (to wrestle) _______ with this alligator since midnight.

5. I've (to save up) _______ money in the bank for twenty five years, and I (already to save up) _______ about ten bucks.

7.Render the joke.

A young couple were married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well.

Her eyes went up and down and at about midway they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, «What's THAT?», pointing to a small part of his anatomy. He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, «Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night.»

And she, in amazement, asked, «Is that all we have left?»

Study the words and expressions given below:

to celebrateпраздновать

newlywedsмолодожены

to exposeвыставлять, показывать

midwayна полпути

shyзастенчивый

anatomyанатомия; зд. тело

amazementизумление

all night longвсю ночь

to ask sb to please do sth разг. попросить кого-л. сделать что-л.

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. How did the young couple celebrate their first night together?

2. What couldn't the groom find when he emerged from the shower?

3. What did he ask his bride for?

4. Who and what did she see when she opened the door of the bathroom?

5. Do you think she could control the movement ofher eyes?

6. Judging by the way the bride reacted to her husband's appearance in the bath, could you guess where she had been brought up?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. They _______ their first night together.

2. What do _______ all night long?

3. The groom goes into the bathroom but finds _______ there.

4. He asks the bride to _______ a towel.

5. He is _______ his body for the first time.

6. Her eyes went up and down and _______ midway they stopped.

7. She asked _______, «What's THAT?»

3. Say if the statements are true or false:

1. A young couple were married, and celebrated their first night together.

2. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no bath there.

3. He asks the bride to please bring a towel from the bedroom.

4. He opened the door, exposing his body for the first time.

5. Her eyes went down, and down, and down.

6. Well, that's what we had so little fun with last night.

4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Они занимались этим всю ночь напролет, снова и снова.

2. Он появился из душа, но не нашел полотенца.

3. Она отлично увидела его целиком.

4. Ее глаза скользнули вверх и вниз, и примерно на полпути они остановились.

5. Она спросила застенчиво.

6. Это все, что у нас осталось?

В предложениях Не said, «Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night» и And she asked, «Is that all we have left?» содержатся фрагменты прямой речи, которую при пересказе или иных формах передачи текста иногда приходится трансформировать в речь косвенную.