СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - PAZUVA. Chokwadi chinosekesa

© StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky, 2019

ISBN 978-5-0050-9806-1

Создано в интеллектуальной издательской системе Ridero

Mushure mekunge ndanyorera amai vangu: «Huyai mama, mamai!», Ndakafamba ndakananga kuimba yandaigara nzara yekudzidza uye ndikafunga:

– Ndeupi musiyano uripo pakati pevaRussia nemaAmericans nemaEuropean?

– Uye nenyaya yekuti ivo vanogara uye vanofunga zvine musoro, isu hatibvumirwe. – Ini ndakazvipindura ndokuenderera mberi. Ini ndaida kumwa – inotyisa nekuruma. Ndiri kuenda, saka ndiri kuenda nenzira kune alley kure kure kweye kongiri-yematanda fenzi yeimwe bhizimusi rekugadzira. Ndiri kuona kuti kwasviba. Ini ndinonzwa kuti kune rimwe divi remadziro mumwe munhu anoita runyararo, asi achibaya, asingakwanise kuridza muridzo. Ini ndakapindurawo. Ndiri kuona kuti hombodo ye mbatatisi inobhururuka kubva kune chimwe chinhu kune rumwe rutivi rwemadziro, yakarongedzwa nechimwe chinhu pandiri. Ndakakwenya, uye bhegi rakabata kubuda kweimbwa yeimwe bere risingazivikanwe, harina kunonoka kumberi kwangu. Ndakaenda kwaari, ndikamuongorora zvinoshamisa, uye, ndisingafungiri kana kufunga chero chinhu, ndikamusunungura, uye ipapo …, apo?! Ikoko aive akazara akasungwa, kunyangwe akatsimbirirwa nesosi yekusvuta. Pasina kufunga nezve chero chinhu, ndakaburitsa rimwe panze, ndikabata bhegi neapuro yaAdam uye, ndokukanda pamapfudzi angu, ndakawedzera nekukurumidza nekukurumidza kweFerrari ndakananga kuimba yangu yekubatira, ndichidya sosi iyi isingakanganwike munzira.

Ndakabva ndangoda kudzidza uye kurarama.

Chii chakaitika ipapo?! Kuzya. Lee: iye muridzo, iye anogadzira mbatatisi, anove chizvarwa weSytytykkar uye akauya kushamwari yake pamwe naye: mugari weAldyrbaguy gorge, purazi «Ndipei ndidye», iro randakatamba senhapwa uye asingatauri Russian.

– Chikwama chiri kupi? Kuzya akabvunza.

– Uye iwe wakamukanda? – ChiHebheru comrade vakapindura mubvunzo.

– Uye iwe wakaridza muridzo?

– Uye iwe..??

Ipapo kunouya kurira mbeveve. Asi nokutendeseka, sausage yacho yaipisa-yakatetepa uye inonaka…

P.S: Takatengesa pasi pebhegi kumhuri uye takazadzwa negungwa re swill nehupenzi… Chirongwa chakapihwa bang…

Rimwe zuva, nekuda kwekusapa musangano uyu, vakandiendesa munhare dzevarwi veSoviet Union, kureva uto. Ikoko, mumwedzi, ndakakanganwa zvese zvandaidzidza munzvimbo dzinochengeterwa vana, kindergarten, muchikoro chepamusoro uye muzvikoro zviviri zvekudzidzisa zvine huwandu: mazana manomwe nemakumi masere nemazana mapfumbamwe nemakumi mana nenhatu makumi maviri nemakumi mana emakore, kwaive kuruboshwe rweguta kubva pambabvu kuenda kune mhanza. pasitadhi.

Takamira, saka tenge tiri pabasa pabasa rekunopinda muchiuto unit nekuputa fodya pamusuwo. Ipapo kwaive nenhamo munyika yedu isina kuzorora. Iyo nguva yaive yakaoma, midzanga mapaundi matatu pamwedzi. Uye chikamu chedu chiri padyo nepurazi rekudyidzana «Bull udder» uye ichi ichokwadi. Saka isu tinomira uye tinoputa, uye Baba Yaga vanobuda kumashure kwemuti. Chokwadi, zita rake ainzi Jadwiga. Zvakanaka. – isu tinofunga, – chinyakare huku uye, kunyangwe iyo, isu tinorota nezvemakwenzi ane madema. Uye anopopota, achikanganisa pfungwa dzedu. Iye matsi uye ibofu.

– Ah, mauto, pindura, www?!

– B, iwe benzi, chii chauri kuchema? Isu tiri mazana masere nemaviri masentimita kure newe?! Kumashure kwefenzi!!

– As?

– Bes! – akapindura mushandi webasa zvakare. – Chii chaunoda, chiti, kana enda karoti?

– Me, anodaro sekuru sekuru. – iwe unofanirwa kuenda kunotengesa, – uye kunyemwerera, – yenguruve shoma, Boryusenka. Ndichaisa mwedzi pamatafura, kunyange uchindipa.

– Chii chauinacho ikozvino? Ndakabvunza, murume akaona inguruve chete ku zoo, asi nekuda kwechimwe chikonzero ivo vanonzi hippos.

– As?

– Dras!! Chii chakauya newe?? Ndakadzokorora nezwi.

– Ini ndichakupa imwe nyama yenguruve … – pasina kunzwa kana kusanzwisisa mubvunzo wangu, iyo yekare yakapindurwa.

– Iye, munzira, anobhururuka agaric gluttonous.. – Ndakanongedza, pamberi pevaeni vangu.

– Uye unogarepi? – akabvunza shamwari

– Uye iwe unouya kumusha uye ubvunze Yadu, migwagwa yedu haina mbeveve.

– Chii? Arsenic, kana chii? Ndakasheedzera munzeve yake, kuita kunge maikorofoni.

– Kwete, mudiwa wangu! Hehe.. Bvunza Yad Vigu!!

– Uye uchauya rinhi? – akabvunza comrade.

– Uye pakupera kwevhiki, masikati! Ini handisi kuzomudyisa chete. – vakapindura ambuya ndokuenda kunotora spiky green bus.

Ndichipedza, ndakabvunza mumwe wangu.

– Comrade, wakauraya nguruve here?

– Ehe saizvozvo. Ini ndaigara mune rimwe purazi remapurazi.

Svondo yasvika. Isu takatizira muAWOL kuburikidza nekona iri kure yefenzi. Takasvika pamusha pasina kana dambudziko uye zvakange zvakatiomera kuti tiwane imba yavo, kunyanya sezvo kwaingova nedzimba shanu mumusha, uye muhotera iine vashandi vanobva kune imwe nyika, mapuranga. Huya zvinoreva kwaari. Uye iye uye chingwa, uye munyu, uye kunyange iyo goof yakawanikwa. Isu takadya chikafu chemusango uye tikanwa zvimwe.

– Zvakanaka, mukadzi mukuru? – comrade yakatanga. – iripi nguruve?

– Ehe, inguruve, inodikanwa mudura. akapindura achipinda muroom. Anotora imwe hafu-metres. Inovhura uye inodhonza pfumo rezana rechishanu ramakore BC, sezviri pachena kubva pazera re. Ngura, ngura uye mubato wakarukwa netepi yemagetsi.

– Hepano, vanakomana, uyu ndiye wangu Josefa anonoka, kumashure kuHondo Yenyika I Grant. Paaive mufekitori yenyama, aigara uye akacheka vanhu vese: kunyangwe mombe nehuku.

Ndainzwa kusagadzikana kutarisa kwaari Stakhanovsky, akajeka kutarisa. Shamwari yakatora banga kubva pamaoko enhare..

– Huya unondiudza. -Kupi kwaraifudza, A?

Anotishandura kuva bura.

– Ipapo, – anoti, – Mudiwa wangu Borusenka.

Nokutendeseka, ini ndinotarisa izvi Borusenka uye maziso angu ari kumashure kwezeve dzangu.

Yake corral yakapfurwa pasi kubva pamabhodhi ane slits maviri nhatu. Uye kubva kuChrisvice slots mapepa uye tsvimbo inorembera mu elastic. Sezviri pachena iyi ndiyo piglet Boryushishche hafu yehupenyu uye haanyepi.

– Ah, madhiri angu, ndichaenda kutumba. – akapfugama ambuya, achifukidza muromo wake wetiothless nemakona ehafu. -Uye iwe unonyanya kungwarira ne boryusenka. Ndini ndega kubva kuhama dzangu. Hapana mumwezve, ndinomuchengeta kubva pakuzvarwa. Mhoroi, mombe dzangu dzirikumhara. Yyyyyyy!! – mukadzi wekare akarira uye akabva angomira achifemedzeka mune imwe yakawira pasi, achichinja izwi rake kubva pakunyorova kuenda kumabhass. -Uye usakanganwa, vafo, ndinayo yekutengesa…

– Zvese zvichange vachipopota, gogo!!! – Comrade yakakurudzira uye yakatendeukira kwandiri. – Uye iwe, shamwari yangu, ndibatsirei kunze, kuvhura gedhi.

Ndakanyarara ndichiuya ndikabvisa turntable, gedhi rakagomera, uye nguruve haina kana kufambisa nzeve yake. Kick bastard. Zvakanaka, shamwari yangu haina kuvhiringidzika ipapo, uye nesimba rake rose, kuti anocheka sei inguruve mu nickel, akagwina pakati uye akakwira. Nickel, saizi yeplate. Mushure memasekondi mashoma, nguruve yakavhura ziso rake rekurudyi, uye ipapo kuruboshwe. Kwakazozara kunzverwa, uye «mammons» anonzi Kurwisa akasvetukira pamabhuruku ake achimerera kubva mudumbu rake, makumbo ake asina kucherechedzwa.

Achikwenya nemaziso ese kuiri, ndokuzoregedza bhuruu blond vadzidzi munzira dzakasiyana, nguruve yakatarisa kumeso kwayo. Mushure mekunge akanda maziso ake zvakare pachibatiso chejadha, akamusimudzira nickle: kumusoro, pasi; kumusoro, pasi, yakarongedzwa kuona ekutarisa komrade uye yakashungurudzwa kure, zvakanyanya zvekuti iyo corral yose yakangopunzika ikava kuwanda kwemachipisi. Nyowani nyowani akasaswa kubva pasi petsoka dzake uye akavhara huchi dzinoverengeka, achigogodza pairi, iyo yakanyatsotarisa pane zvaiitika. Comrade iyi yanga yatomhanyisa yakananga kubindu, kuburikidza neiyadhi yezve hupfumi. Iyo mammigs nguruve yandiri kurwa, nekukurumidza kubatwa neiye akatadzira, kuparadzira zvese zvipenyu izvo zvine mvumo yekugara muyadhi iyi. Ambuya vakanamatira pahwindo, vachiumburuka mhino yavo yenyoka. Ndakagwinidzira padivi, ndakangogumburwa.

Vakamhanya kunze kwechivanze, mukwikwidzi, achipinda mudura, akatanga kukunda magadheni, achirova nzvimbo dzekudyara uye zvimedu-zvidimbu, uye yenguruve, Borusya, akarwisa kumuruma chitsitsinho, ruoko chete rwegumi nemasere-hwai mini-pfumo rakabatana kunze kweiyo nickel yakakanganiswa. isina mechi. Ranga raive rakapfupika uye mufambidzani wacho anga achitopopota kuti abatsirwe uye kutendeuka kwakapinza, kwakamubatsira kutiza nekupunyuka, izvo zvairatidzwa nechaunga cheAsia-Gypsies nevanhu vekuona-vavakidzani vakatarisa panze pefenzi. Vanaamai vechiTajik nevari kudzvanya vakadhonza vana kubva pafenzi, asi havana kuramba, kuda kuona munhu anofara achinzi: «kutsiva nekuuraiwa yenguruve Borusi pamusoro pemurwi wehondo yeRussia.» Uye zvaingave zvinosiririsa dai zvisiri zvemapombi ezvipuka zvemupfudze pamagumo ebindu, asi mukati maro mune marara anonamira maputi eiyo vagari vemumisha yeRussia vanohwanda huswa mumatanda. Vakavabata, zvine hunyanzvi, mumwe munhu airwira, uye nekukasika zvese zvakaitika nenzira dzakasiyana kana kuti zvinopesana: iyo mammoth yenguruve Kurwa kwaive kutiza, uye mumwe munhu akarwa akamupuruzira mativi emafuta, maererano neshuwa, uye nekukasira nekukurumidza uye nehungwaru, sekunge ari pabvunzo yekuongorora., inobata kwete forogo, asi Kalashnikov pfuti yekurova, ine bayonet-banga. Uye kunyange vateereri vakatsigira murwi nekupururudza, vachirumbidza uye vachirumbidza kukunda kuri kuuya kwehomo sapiens, vakajairika mauto eRussia – pamusoro pechisikirwo, kufunga pamusoro pepfungwa, uye nekuda kweizvozvo nguruve yakange isingakwanisi kumira kurwiswa ikadonha ikafa, pamberi pomusuwo wemba, pane chikumbaridzo chayo pakanga paine shaggy. akabata bangafu mune rumwe ruoko uye vachikanda wechipiri kumashure kwake kumashure, ivo babamukuru teary vaYad-Vig. Iyo comrade yakaita yekupedzisira mukati mechitunha chenguruve uye pitchfork, ichibaya isina hupenyu yemhuka, ichisvetuka senge tambo yeviri bass, ikatsemuka.

– Zvakanaka, ambuya, shamwari shamwari Spartak akatanga zvine hunyanzvi. – waita, dururira uye gadzika tafura!!!

Ambuya vakadhonzera pini inosimuka kubva kumashure kwavo, inovhuvhuta mukanyiwa wekurasa uye pizza, uye nematanda vakamurovera padhuze. Paive nemheremhere, uye isu vaviri takatiza kubva kwaari. Iye zvakare mabwe emabwe, gumi kusvika mashanu emakirogiramu, akakanda kwatiri. Uye vese vaiona vakatendeukira kudivi rake vakatanga kuenda nesu, asi havana kusimuka, asi kumashure kubva pamatombo kwakakuvadza. Ambuya Yad-Vig, uye vakanyora kunyunyuta kumutungamiriri weuto, kwavakandipa mazuva gumi, naComrade – vakarova battalion yekurangwa kwemakore maviri, kwavakatanga kubva kubhero kusvika kune bhero, kuchenesa shit mune iyo pigsty yemuno, manually…

Zvakanga zvakaita seiyi: kuseri kwemetro station yemutungamiriri mukuru, Saint uye achingove Sasha, mune penny zone yemazon inokuvadza, pakanga paine chimbuzi cheBio chematumba matatu akabatanidzwa necheni imwe, akaomeswa nechinangwa chimwe, vaviri vacho vakashanda seimba yekushanda, uko vagari vemuSt. Petersburg, uye chechitatu yaive hofisi yeanoshanda uye mubati wechibhokisi, mumunhu mumwe chete akaunganidza mari yebasa rekupa muunganidzwa we shit.

Vanhu vakamira mumaraini, vachimhanya vachitarisira kwenzvimbo dzose dzekutanga.