СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - NGOMHLA. Inyaniso ehlekisayo

– Kulungile, kuhlobo. -Ndizamile ukuzolisa iicormorant zabo, ndiyathetha. -Hayi, bantu bangenamakhaya, zichithe kwiibhedi. Ndixelele, Methodius, yintoni eqale ukubhuza?

– Me!! -ukungavumi ukuhamba kwe-Bald, utat’omkhulu waqala ukuzithethelela. -Ndilala, ngohlobo, ndiziva umntu othile ukuba uthatha, ndivula amehlo am – ikhephu. Ndashukuma ndaqala ukuphakama. Ndiyajika, kwaye phambi kwam kukho u-anti kunye netram, iipesenti ezilishumi ukusuka kum. Ubusuku buyabanda, kunye ne-hangover, kunye ne-Lysy, iinkomo, ziyiphose, ah!! Yay!! Yay!! -aphinda kathathu wakhwaza uMethodius.

– Yep!! Yep!! Yep!! -Uphindwe kathathu uLysy wambetha esweni.

Emva kwesiqingatha seyure, sasisele siyalele iigram ezingamakhulu amabini kwaye sasizokucacisa ukungavisisani kwethu. Kwaye njalo inyanga, ngelixa uMethodius engazange ahlwempuzeke. Into elungileyo ikhadi lebhanki. Ngezoqoqosho…

– Kwakukho, kula maxesha akude ngaphandle kwamaxesha asemthethweni, xa i-tundra yayingumntu. Phakamisa i-armpit ye-tundra-indoda, isiqingatha semini, yehlisa i-armpit ye-tundra-ndoda, isiqingatha sobusuku. Iintwala bezihlala kuwo. Kwaye ukujonga ngokusondeleyo ikhulu lepesenti umbono, ezi yayingezontwala konke konke, kodwa iimmonys, iibhere zepolar, deer ekugcineni kunye neehagu. Kwaye ke wonke umntu wabiza i-Chukchi – abantu, kuba yayikukuphela kohlobo oluhlala kwi-tundra. Ngandlela-thile indoda ye-tundra ihamba ne-armpit ephakanyisiweyo kwaye iyikrwece, ngelixa i-Chukchi kwi-yaranga isinda kwisiphepho esibi. Umkhosi wamisa ukukhuhla i-tundra-ndoda, kwaye isaqhwithi sathamba. Kwaye u-Chukchi washiya amakhaya abo e-tundra kwaye ngoko nangoko wambulela ngekhephu elimhlophe elihlambulukileyo nomchamo wakhe omthubi. Kwaye i-tundra yaba njengokusweleka kweevithamini emzimbeni, njengamalungu asebusweni. Kwaye konke oku kwavela kwaye wonke umntu waqalisa ukudanisa, kodwa ngokuthe cwaka ii-icicles eziphuzi zaqala ukunyamalala, umntu othile waba kwaye washiya imingxunya. Kwaye ke, uSerezha wasekhaya ongenamakhaya waseChukchi, wonke umntu abembiza ngokuba «likhephu elimthubi,» laqhubeka ibali lakhe, le ndoda i-tundra yamyalela ukuba afumane isela aze alibethe liluhlaza. Yonke i-Chukchi yangcwatyelwa kwindawo yekhephu kwaye, bejonga, balinda kwaye bamangaliswa. Kwaye kwavela ukuba abantwana babo baguquka baba isela, elithathela ingqalelo ezi icicles ngeeckekerels, abathengisa ngazo kwi-bazaar. Kwaye ekubeni umntwana azelwe, bathi kuye:

– Ungadli, bastard, ikhephu eliphuzi!! -uye wambetha, wambetha kwangoko, ngakumbi entloko.

Ngokubanzi, uSerezha-Yellow Snow wayebonakala emncinci, eneminyaka engamashumi amabini anesixhenxe, abanye bonke bafana nabakwaChukchi. Uye kwilayibrari ephakathi waqokelela iibhotile apho endleleni. Nje ukuba aqale ukunyamalala kangangeentsuku. Wonke umntu wayehlukile, kodwa enomdla. Xa wabonayo, wabuzwa. Wathula. Kodwa xa sele enxila kwaye uSerezha Yellow Snow wavuma ukuba uza kutshata kungekudala.

– Kwaye ngoobani? -ulandelwe ngumbuzo.

– Ewe, kukho isiqingatha sentliziyo yam, uhlala kule ngingqi, nangona sele eneminyaka engamashumi amathandathu ananye ubudala, kuba akukho mfuneko yokuba benze abantwana, sele benesibhozo. Apha ndiyabondla kwaye ndifundise, njengoko utata wandikhulisayo, kwaye utata wakhe utata, kunye notata-utata, umama wakhe ngenxa yokuba engenayise. -Seryozha watyibilika ngempumlo yakhe, wakhupha ibhokhwe, wayijonga wayitya. -Ndiyamthanda u-Chupa-chups, nangona kunjalo, unika iingcinga ezihlakaniphile. Khange kube kudala ndafumana indlu yomntu. Wenyuka phakathi, wakhangela, lalikhona indawo elanele wonke umntu: inkosikazi yakhe, kunye nam, nabantwana. Kuyinyani, ukuba umdala uxolile, uvalelwe iminyaka elishumi elinambini. Kodwa usemncinci, usisidenge, kuphela unkqonkqozile. Ndimfundisile, kodwa akazange akholelwe amava am. Ewe, ihlobo lisekhona, ngoko ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndenze i-euro yokulungisa endlwini, sele ndithenge i-putty, umbala, iibrashi. Kuyinyani, kungene abanye ootishala: «Wenza ntoni?». -bayabuza. «Ukulungiswa». -Nditsho, kodwa ndaqonda kwangoko ukuba bebefike kade, indlu yona sele ihleliwe ndim. -I-Serezha Yellow Snow yathatha i-cracker phantsi kwebhedi, yacofa kwi-cockroach engazi ukuba ingagxuma njani kumthengisi, i-oyile ityhidiwe ngotyheli, kwaye igqunyiwe, iyicime. URusk uqhekekile, kodwa akaphulanga. U-Chukchi wavula kancinci amehlo akhe, ejonge kwi-fang eyaphukileyo ukunamathela ngaphandle kwendlela yomqhekezi.

– Ooooooo!! wagcuma waqalisa ukufudumeza izinyo lakhe ngentende…

Ihlobo lidlulile. Ufike uChukchi ephethe iiFingals, ngaphandle kwamazinyo angaphambili. Intloko yakhe yayixhonywe kwigazi eligutyungelweyo.

– Yintoni uSeryozha, ukubhiyozelwa kwendlu, kwakumnyama, ukukhanya kuphume? -abangenamakhaya babethandana.

– Hayi, aba babini kunye nabanikazi bale ndlu bafika, kodwa ndandisele ndigqibile ukulungisa, ndifuna ukuhamba nosapho lwam. Bandibetha ke iiklabhu. Izinja. Isiphelo…

inqaku lesi-6

Yifa, bitch, ngenxa yomngxunya!!

Ilanga lalikhanya. Isibhakabhaka sasicacile kwaye abantu abangabathandi bezindlu behlala ezindlini bahlala kwigumbi lokugcina iimpahla kwaye bancamathisela amakhadibhodi, babeka ezinye iibhotile, abanye bafaka iinkonkxa zealuminium zekhephu kunye nebhiya. Kwaye konke kuzolunga, kodwa kwenye yeendawo zokuhlala abafundi, kukho i-UAZ emibini enezibane ezihlaza okwesibhakabhaka kwaye ootata «bakhokelwa emnyango kwaye» babephethe izandla «umfazi kunye nabantu ababini abanxibe iimpahla zangaphantsi, ababizwa ngokuba» zi-yolks «kubantu nje abaqhelekileyo. Abahlali bendawo bebengasiqondi isizathu sokubanjwa, kuba le trio ibigcwele kwindawo yokulahla inkunkuma, kwaye icoca iiyadi mihla le. Ngamnye wayenoluhlu lwezinto zakhe, esele izandla ziqhelene, kwaye ezi ziphawulwe ngomtshayelo, ngesikipa nangxowa. Ezi zixhobo zabonakala kubo njenge-talisman okanye i-amulet, njengendlu okanye i-cottage yekhaya. Kwaye, makube njalo, ukuba umntu athathe umntu ongamaziyo. Yonke into, ukufa. Kranty. Kodwa uvele kule tratu ngaphambili kwesiganeko kunye ne-Madame Tumor yesine. Kwaye siyahamba.

Ngosuku olungaphambili. Ngorhatya lwakusasa, uMadam Tumor uvuke kuqala wagqiba kwelokuba abonise enye indawo, enze umsebenzi olungileyo kwaye acoce le ndawo ngelixa wonke umntu wayelele ngesiphango se-booze, oko kukuthi, ubhaliso kusapho. Onke amalungu ale «genge» akazange agwetywe kanye. Kuba engenayo eyakhe, uthathe i-inventri yomnye umntu, ngethemba lokuba, bathi, yeyakhe yonke?! Iyahamba, iyagqogqa, iqokelela iibhutsi zecuba, isusa zonke iintlobo zeeswiti kwaye ingadeleli, ijonge into emigqomeni kwaye iqokelele inkunkuma ethe saa emabaleni naseetankini ecaleni kwendlela. Sele ecoce umgangatho wommandla kwaye ngequbuliso ubona indlela kwelinye icala lendoda nomfazi balungiselela ngokuqinileyo.

– Ingcikivo. -Wacinga uMadam Tumor kwaye waqhubela phambili ekucoceni komhlaba. Ingxabano yayishushu kwaye amazwi sele eviwe, xa ngequbuliso inenekazi lakhala, elikhulu kakhulu kwaza kwakhala ingxolo eyadini. U-Madame Tumor waphakamisa amehlo kwaye wabona ukuba le ndoda ngendlela ephucukileyo ibethe inenekazi ezityeni. Abantu abadlula ngendlela abahoyi, kodwa isela elitshisiweyo lamaqanda enkukhu kunye nenkukhu eyadlulayo, ubukhulu becala, ubukhulu becala, yongezwa kukuphathwa kwe fama yenkukhu kumaqanda amabini athathwe nguye ngesicelo somlindi-cohabitant, esarekhodwa ngekhamera yokhuseleko lweli shishini. Andikwazanga kuyimela kwaye ndazimela ngomtshayelo ngapha kwendlela. Iimoto kwixakeka zimnkile, ngokungathi uphambene. Uhoya, enganikeli ngqwalaselo iimoto zamanye amazwe ezibalekayo, wabalekela ecaleni kwendlela, njengekhayithi evela ezulwini, wabalekela kumlimi, embetha ebusweni ngesikipa kunye nomtshayelo, apho inyawo yayibalekela emacaleni. Eli nenekazi laqhwanyaza amehlo alo kukungakholelwa kwaye, ligqume umlomo ngezandla, lahleka kakhulu. Ngequbuliso ukusuka apho uza kuyithatha khona. Ngequbuliso, ngaphandle kwendawo, kwavela amapolisa amathathu kwaye kwangoko aqala ukuya ku-Madame Tumor etsala. Ukukhwaza:

– Lo ubanda, wabetha inenekazi!!

– Yithobe phantsi, yehlisa umoya! – amapolisa abuza ngenhlonipho. Akukho mntu wabetha mntu. Jonga phaya. -Ukude ungabona ikhamera ye-movie kunye neqela labasebenzi beefilimu.

– Ifilimu le idutyulwe ngumchwephetsha weqonga! -ngeze ikopi yesibini.

– he yena he he!!! -mangalela owesithathu. – Kwaye inkohliso! Hu hu hu!!! Kwaye umlo!

Isundu lahlala phantsi laze laguqukela entweni, lalingqengqeleka kwiingcali, emva koko zajonga kwii-cops, zathatha umtshayelo zaya kwisiphukuphuku ngaphaya kwesitalato iFurshtatskaya.

Kwaye ngeli xesha kwi-candeyka, apho inkampani ye-gop yayivuthele khona ngaphambili, kwaye ngoku i-wipers ivukile kwi-hangover, babona ukuba enye yeempahla ezilahlekileyo yayilahlekile okanye yayilahlekile, yakhula imilenze yakhe babaleka, baqala ukulungiselela iyelenqe lokubhenca isela okanye imilenze yakhe. Banikezele ngeebhotile ezishiywe kwimpelaveki ephelileyo, bakha isitya sokutshiza esibizwa ngokuba «yi-Snowflake» kwaye, beyisongele amanzi ukusuka kwindlu yangasese, ngenxa yokunqongophala kwetephu, ngokunxulumene nokulungiswa kombhobho, baqala kancinci ukusela, besitya izitya ezazihluthiwe izolo ebizwa ngokuba yi-bay kwaye inegwele kakhulu.

Yayikufuphi imini. U-Madam Tumor wayibetha ngengoma intombazana egwetyiweyo, wabuyela kwi-candey, ephethe, ngesandla esinye, uluhlu, kunye nengxowa ephethe i-aluminium cans yeebhiya kunye neebhotile. Ngaphandle kokucinga okanye ukukrokrela nantoni na, wavula umnyango wangena kwi-candeika, ejongene nengqibelelo yakhe…

Kwangoko, wadibana nokujonga kude.

– Kulungile, yintoni? -Kuqala ikhonsathi eyoyikisayo, umhlolokazi omnyama, owabulala amadoda akhe amathathu, ekuhlaleni endaweni yababulali eneminyaka eli-15 kwathiwa nguKampuchea, nangobuzwe-Kalmyk ngaphandle kwamazinyo angaphambili.

– Yintoni? – woyika kancinci kwaye edidekile, wabuza uMadam Tumor ukuba abeke uluhlu lweempahla.

– Yintoni, ntoni? – yongeze ngakumbi igama lakhe le-hahal eligama lingu-Balamut ngohlobo lwesifo sephepha esivulekileyo. -Kwi-esile fuck, ayitshisi??

– Ndiqagela isizathu sokungqubana, utshilo uMadam Tumor. -Ndicocile indawo.

– Kwaye njani? -ubuze umntu wesithathu kulo mdlalo we-comic comer, ogama lingu-Fox.

– Ngaba yonke into icocekile?! watsho.

– Kwaye siya fuck! -Bhengezwe iKampuchea. – ayingomsebenzi wakho lo, ayizothathwa nguwe, awuyongqobanga ebhokisini, kodwa, bitch

Kwaye siyahamba: ekuqaleni wabethwa kabuhlungu wabetha kwimilenze nenqindi. Emva kokungena, izinto zahamba: ii-thermometers ezintathu, zaphuke emngxunyeni wakhe womlomo, zabetha kabini ngesinqe kwintombazana encinci, zinqabe kakhulu nge-rose kwibhotile yamehlo ephukileyo kunye nezihlathi, amanxeba asixhenxe emzimbeni emzimbeni ngommisi, ekwaphula iibhotile zebhiya ezaziziswe kuye ngesando. ukuqala kwiindawo ezifihlakeleyo zokusondelana. Kwaye ngelixa ulawula ukucula «ikhephu elinekhephu» kunye nokwenza iitho zangaphantsi. Ekugqibeleni, emva kokuqengqeleka, umzimba ongaphilanga watsalelwa echibini, kodwa ummelwane wadibana wabiza amapolisa kunye ne-ambulensi ngasese.

Kude kube kusasa, bancina ngemibuzo ngonobangela wokuphanga ngenqindi kwaye babasa kwiziko elalilungiselelwe ukuvalelwa kwetyala ekuseni, kwaye uMadam Tumor wakhutshwa ngoogqirha. Ngoku uhamba ejikeleze ummandla we-Metro weChernyshevsky, oempempe, othetha nezithixo kwaye usela kakhulu. Aba balishumi baba ngumhlobo wabasasazi abakhohlakeleyo. Kwaye kwenye i-candeyka, ngokubanzi, ngenxa yokudlwengulwa ngokunganyanzelekanga komfazi wasekhaya, oonyana bakhe bohlwaye i-janitors ngemikhono nangemikhono kangangokuba bajonga ngelinye lamehlo babeka elinye kwiintsiba, abanye basinda ngemivumbo yesando entloko. Kwaye oku kwenzeka ngoNyaka oMtsha woNyaka, kodwa le yenye ingoma yaseSodom naseGomora…