СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - NGOSUKU. Iqiniso elihlekisayo

© StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky, 2019

ISBN 978-5-0050-9519-0

Создано в интеллектуальной издательской системе Ridero

Ngemuva kokubhalela umama wami ukuthi: «Woza lard, sawubona mama!», Ngangena indlela ehostela lami elifundayo ngacabanga:

– Uyini umehluko phakathi kwabantu baseRussia nabaseMelika nabaseYurophu?

– Futhi ngeqiniso lokuthi baphila futhi bacabanga ngokunengqondo, asikwazi. -Ngiziphendulile ngaqhubeka. Bengifuna ukuphuza – ngokwesabisa nokuluma. Ngiyahamba, ngakho-ke sengidlula kulo i-alley ngiye ebangeni kocingo oluboshwe ngokhonkolo lwebhizinisi elithile lezimboni. Ngibona sekuqala ukubamnyama. Ngizwa ukuthi ngakolunye uhlangothi kocingo othile wenza ethule, kodwa angabhoboze, angakwazi ukushaya ikhwela. Ngaphendula ngokufanayo. Ngibona ukuthi isikhwama samazambane siphuma kokuthile ngakolunye uhlangothi kocingo, sigxishwe okuthile nami. Ngasikhonkotha, isikhwama sathinta ukuphuma kwenja yohlobo olungaziwa, yahamba isikhathi ngaphambi kwami. Ngakhuphuka ngaya kuye, ngamhlolela ngobuhlakani, futhi, ngingasoli noma ngicabanga nganoma yini, ngamthukulula, futhi lapho …, lapho?! Lapho, wayegcwele, ecindezelwe nangososi ababhemayo. Ngaphandle kokucabanga ngalutho, ngakhipha esisodwa, ngabamba isikhwama nge-apula ka-Adamu futhi, ngasiphonsa emahlombe ami, ngashesha ngejubane le-Ferrari ngasehostela lami, ngadla leyo nduku engalibaleki ngasendleleni.

Ngokushesha ngafuna ukutadisha nokuphila.

Kwenzekeni-ke?! Kuzya. U-Lee: ungumhlophe, ungumuntu ophonsa izimbiza zamazambane, futhi ungowokuzalwa eSytytykkar, weza kumngani wakhe futhi wabambisana naye: ongowokuzalwa e-Aldyrbaguy gorge, ipulazi elithi «Nginike ukudla», iqhaza lakhe engilidlalile ekudingisweni futhi alikhulumi isiRussia.

– Siphi isikhwama? Kubuza u-Kuzya.

– Futhi wamphonsa? – IsiHeberu saphendula umlingani wombuzo.

– Futhi ushaye ikhwela?

– Nawe..??

Bese kuza impi eyisimungulu. Kepha ngokweqiniso, umvimba wawumunca-ubonda futhi unambitha…

P.S: Sithengise phansi isikhwama emndenini futhi sagcwala ulwandle olwalubhukuda futhi ubuwula… Iseshini yanikezwa i-bang…

Ngolunye usuku, ngokunganikezeli esimisweni, bangingenisa ezinhlwini zamasosha ahlomile eSoviet Union, okungukuthi, ebuthweni lezempi. Lapho, ngenyanga, ngikhohlwe konke engangikufunda ezikhungweni zokunakekela izingane, enkulisa, esikoleni esiphakeme nasezikoleni ezimbili zomsebenzi ezinenombolo: izinkulungwane eziyisikhombisa namakhulu ayisishiyagalombili namakhulu ayisishiyagalombili namashumi amane nantathu amaphuzu angamashumi amabili nane, okwakungakwesobunxele kwendlela ukusuka eblukhwebeni kuya endaweni yezimpandla, lapho esitimeleni.

Simile, ngakho-ke cishe sisemsebenzini ekungeneni kwebutho lamasosha futhi sibheme ugwayi emnyango. Kwabe sekuba nenkinga ezweni lethu elingaphumeleli. Isikhathi besinzima, ngibhema amaphakethe amathathu ngenyanga. Futhi ingxenye yethu iseduze kwepulazi elihlanganisiwe «iBull udder» futhi lokhu kuyiqiniso. Ngakho-ke simi futhi sibheme, futhi uBaba Yaga ukhishwa ngemuva kwesihlahla. Kuliqiniso, ibizo lakhe bekunguJadwiga. Kahle. – siyacabanga, – iphupho elidala futhi, yize kunjalo, siphupha ngamakhasi anamajikijolo amajikijolo. Futhi uyakhala, ephazamisa imicabango yethu. Uyisithulu futhi uyimpumputhe.

– Hhay, masosha, phendula, www?!

– B, siwula, yini oyikhulumayo, endala? Sikude ngamasentimitha ayisishiyagalombili kuwe?! Ngemuva kocingo!!

– Njani?

– Bes! – kuphendule isikhulu somsebenzi. – Ngabe udinga, uthini, noma uye ku-carrot chop?

– Mina, kusho ugogo omdala kakhulu. – udinga ukuya kuthengiswa, – futhi wamomotheka, – ingulube encane, iBoryusenka. Ngizofaka ukukhanya kwelanga etafuleni, uze unginike lona.

– Unani manje? Ngabuza, indoda ebona izingulube kuphela e-zoo, kodwa ngasizathu simbe ibizwa ngokuthi yimvubu.

– Njani?

– Dras!! Yini lelethele wena?? Ngaphinda ngezwi.

– Ngizokunikeza ingulube … – ngaphandle kokuzwa noma ukungawuqondi umbuzo wami, endala yaphendula.

– Yena, endleleni, undiza obudla izindwani.. – Ngiphakamisa, phambi komngane wami.

– Futhi uhlala kuphi? – ubuze umngani

– Futhi ufike edolobhaneni ubuze uYadu, imigwaqo yethu iyisimungulu.

– Yini? I-Arsenic, noma ini? Ngamemeza endlebeni yakhe, ngathi umbhobho.

– Cha, sithandwa sami! Hehe.. Buza uYad Vigu!!

– Futhi izofika nini? – kubuza umlingani.

– Futhi ngempelasonto, ntambama! Ngeke nje ngimphathise ukudla. – kuphendule ugogo ahambe ayoqoqa amahlahla aluhlaza okotshani.

Ukuqeda, ngabuza uzakwethu.

– Comrade, ubulele izingulube?

– Impela. Bengihlala edorobheni elihlangene.

ISonto selifikile. Sibalekele kwi-AWOL enqamula ekhoneni elikude kocingo. Safika kuleli dolobhana ngaphandle kwezinkinga futhi kwakungekho nzima ukuthi simthole endlini yakhe, ikakhulukazi njengoba kwakukhona izindlu ezinhlanu kuphela edolobhaneni, kanye nehostela elinabasebenzi bokufika. Woza kusho kuye. Futhi yena ne-breadcrumbs, nosawoti, ngisho ne-goofer yatholakala. Sasidla ukudla okungokwemvelo futhi saphuza okunye.

– Hheyi, mfazi omdala? – Umlingani uqale. – iphi ingulube?

– Yebo, ingulube, ethandekayo esigangeni. waphendula wangena egumbini. Ukhipha isigaxa semitha. Kwenzeka futhi kudonsa inkemba yangekhulu lesihlanu leminyaka, ngokusobala kusukela eminyakeni yobudala. Ukugqwala, ukugqwala nesibambo esigoqiwe ngentambo kagesi.

– Lapha, madodana, lo nguJoseph wami ongasekho, emuva eMpini Yezwe I Grant. Lapho efektri yenyama, wayehlala futhi asike wonke umuntu: ngisho nezinkomo nenkukhu.

Ngazizwa ngingakhululekile ebuka uStakhanovsky, ukubukeka kwakhe obala. Umngani uthathe ummese ezandleni zomphathi kabi..

– Woza, ungitshele. – Kutholakalaphi, A?

Usiguqula esibayeni.

– Lapho, – uthi, – – Isithandwa sami uBorusenka.

Ngokweqiniso, ngibheka le Borusenka futhi amehlo ami asezindlebeni zami.

Isidumbu sakhe sidutshulwe emabhodini ngamapayipi amabili ngabathathu. Futhi kusukela ku-crevice Slots imigoqo futhi induku ilenga ngokunwebeka. Ngokusobala le yengulube i-Boryushishche isigamu sempilo futhi ayiqambi amanga.

– O, zithandwa zami, ngizoya emjondolo. – ugogo okhalayo, emboza umlomo wakhe wezinyawo ngamakhora wesikhafu. – Futhi uqaphela kakhulu nge-boryusenka. Yimina ngedwa ezihlotsheni zami. Akekho omunye, ngiyamphatha kusukela azalwa. Ngibingelele, izinkomo zami ezivuthayo. Yyyyyyy!! – Isalukazi sakhala futhi ngokushesha sayeka ukuphefumula kwesinye sehla sowaop, sashintsha izwi lakhe kusuka ku-squeaky kuya ku-bass. – Futhi ungakhohlwa, bafana, nginayo ngokuthengisa…

– Konke kuzobe kumemeza, ugogo!!! – UComrade wakhuthaza futhi waphendukela kimi. – Futhi wena, mngani wami, ngisize ngivule, vula isango.

Ngasondela ngaphenduka amandla ngaphenduka i-turntable, isango lakhula, nengulube ayizange ibuye nendlebe. Ukukhahlela. Hhayi-ke, umngani wami akazange adideke khona manjalo, nangawo onke amandla akhe, ukuthi ulinquma kanjani ingulube ngesiteketiso, wagxuma umgwaqo futhi wakhuphuka. Isidlaliso, usayizi wepuleti. Ngemuva kwemizuzwana embalwa, ingulube yavula iso lakhe lokunene, bese kwesokunxele. Ngemuva kwalokho kwalandela ukugcotshwa, kwathi «imam mam» egama linguBlwa yagxuma okhalweni lwayo inamathela ngaphandle kwesisu, imilenze yakhe ayizange ibonwe.

Ukuphikisana ngamehlo omabili e-dagger, bese iqondisa abafundi be-blond eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka ngezindlela ezihlukile, ingulube yaphenduka imbonakalo yayo. Ngemuva kokuphinda amehlo akhe ebambe isibambo sensangu, imshukumise ngesiteketiso: phezulu, phansi; phezulu, phansi, ukuqondana kokubona komlingani futhi kuklwebheke kude, kangangokuba i-corral yamane yaphenduka inqwaba yamachis. Kufafazwe umquba omusha kusuka ngaphansi kwezinyawo zakhe futhi wagcwala izimbambo zezinkukhu ezimbalwa, wazikhuhla ekhakhayini, futhi zagqolozela ukubona ukuthi kwenzekani. Umlingani wayevele egijimela engadini, edabula egcekeni lezomnotho. Ingulube enkulukazi engiyilwelayo, ibanjwa ngokushesha nomuntu okonile, isabalalisa zonke izinto eziphilayo ezazinemvume yokuhlala kule ndawo. Ugogo wanamathela ewindini, emthinta ekhaleni lakhe lokuhluza. Ngabambelela ohlangothini, ngathukile nje.

Ngemuva kokuphuma egcekeni, umlingani, eqonda endaweni ebaziwe, waqala ukunqoba indawo etshalwe engadini, eshaya izingadi ezishisiwe nezingcezwana zezingcezwana, nengulube enkulu, uBorusya, ilwa ukuyiluma esithendeni, isibambo kuphela senkemba yangekhulu leshumi nesishiyagalombili inamathela ngaphandle kwe-nickel ephazanyiswe. ukubamba okungenakuqhathaniswa. Ibanga lalifushane futhi umngani ubesevele ekhala ecela usizo futhi ephenduka kuphela, umsize ukuba akwazi ukuphuma futhi aphunyuke, okukhonjiswe yisixuku sabase-Asiatic-Gypsies kanye nababukeli-omakhelwane ababheke ngaphandle kocingo. Omama abangamaTajik nabama-jypsy badonsa izingane bopha uthango, kodwa azange bahluleke, bafuna ukubukela umuntu ophilayo owayebizwa ngokuthi: «ukuziphindiselela nokubulawa kwengulube eyinyamazana uBorusi phezu kwebutho lezempi laseRussia.» Futhi bekungaba buhlungu uma bekungeyona imfumba yesaladi yomquba ekugcineni kwengadi, kodwa kuwo kukhona ama-pitchforks anamathela okunamahlaya lapho izakhamizi zaseRussia zifihla khona utshani ezitokisini. Bababamba, ngokudelela, umlobi kanye naye, futhi ngaso leso sikhathi konke kwenzeka ngendlela ehlukile noma ngokulandelana: ingulube eyinkulukazi i-Fighting yayibaleka, futhi omunye olwa naye wamhlikihla emaceleni omhloshana, ngokusho kwesiqu, futhi ngokushesha nangobuhlakani, ngokungathi wayehlolwa ngobuchule, ayigcinanga imfoloko, kepha isibhamu seKalashnikov sokushaya, ngommese we-bayonet. Futhi ngisho nezilaleli zazisekela ngokulwa ihlombe, zincoma futhi zishaya ihlombe ngokunqoba okuzayo kwama-homo sapiens, amasosha aseRussia ajwayelekile – ngaphezu kwemvelo, axoxa ngengqondo, futhi ngenxa yalokho ingulube ayikwazanga ukumelana nokuhlasela futhi yawa yafa, phambi komnyango wendlu, ngasesifundeni lapho kwakukhona khona ubugagu. ebambe isikhafu ngesandla esisodwa futhi ephonsa owesibili ngemuva komhlane wakhe ophansi, ugogo ongumfundisi we-Yad-Vig. I-comrade yenza okokugcina emzimbeni wesidumbu sengulube ne-pitchfork, yahlaba isidumbu sesilwane esingaphili, yagwilika njengesixha se-bass ephindwe kabili, i-ratter.

– Kulungile, ugogo nomlingani wami uSpartak waqala ubuqhawe. – uqedile, uthele bese usetha itafula!!!

Ugogo wadonsa iphini elaliqhamuka ngemuva kwakhe, eligoqa inhlama yokulahlwa kanye ne-pizza, kwathi ngumbethe wamgwaza ngaphesheya kwesigebhezi. Kwakunokukhala okukhonkotha, futhi sobabili sabaleka samshiya. Ubuye ngamatshe angama-cobblestones, ama-kilos ayishumi kuya kwayisihlanu, asiphonsa. Futhi bonke ababukeli badlulela ngakuye bazimisele ukusiphatha, kepha abazange babhekane, kepha emuva kwamatshe kulimele. Ugogo uYad-Vig, wabe esebhala isikhalazo kumphathi wenhlangano, abanginikeza khona izinsuku eziyishumi, nomlingani – bashaya amakhala ngesihluku seminyaka emibili, lapho aqala khona ukukhala izinsimbi, ahlanzwa umdweshu endaweni yezikhumba yasendaweni, ngesandla…

Kwakunjengalokhu: ngemuva kwesiteshi sika-metro somphathi omkhulu, uSanta kanye no-Sashka nje, endaweni yemfenqo ye-alimony eyingozi, kwakukhona ithoyilethi le-bio lamadokodo amathathu axhunywe ngeketanga elilodwa, elalinenkinga yenjongo eyodwa, amabili awo asebenza njengethoyilethi elisebenza, lapho izakhamizi zaseSt. Petersburg, kwathi elesithathu kwakuyihhovisi lika-opharetha kanye ne-cashier, kumuntu oyedwa owayeqoqa imali yokwenza umsebenzi wokunikeza iqoqo le-shit.