СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - NGOSUKU. Iqiniso elihlekisayo

Abantu bemi emgqeni, bephelelwa yisikhathi belindele zonke izindawo zokuqala. Futhi esikhathini sokuvakasha phakathi kwabavakashi, ngayihlawulela imali, ngathengisela yena umamkhulu imali, othatha isikhundla sokuba ngumphathi kanye nomgcini walezi zindlu zangasese ze-bio, uClaudia Filippovna Undershram, ifa iLeningrad esizukulwaneni sesihlanu. Akavumanga ukunqotshwa ukunqotshwa kwami kobugebengu obukhulu, ngifuna ukuqaphela ukuthi angizange ngiveze umbono wami ngaleso sikhathi, futhi ngakhuluma naye. Kepha umphumela waba ebusweni. Ubuso baphindwe kabili. Kwakunjalo, ngandlela thile, kusihlwa. Futhi abantu sebephungile ngobuningi. Mina, ngingacabangi ngamandla omzimba womamekazi wami, nginqume ukusiphonsa kancane. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngangisebenzisa ukukhululeka kokugonywa. Futhi njengoba ngingena kwi-biosort yamahhala, ngazizwa ngofana no-Aunt. Ukudla okudliwayo kungibeka ethoyilethi. Emva kwalokho ngaba nesiyezi, lapho-ke kwaxoxwa nabafokazi, futhi kwaqhubeka, ukuqhuma kwezixhumo zethala lesibeletho ezindongeni, ngomlomo wami nokulala, iphupho elimnandi ngaphandle kwamaphupho. Ngalesi sikhathi, uClaudia Filippovna Undershram waphaphama ekudakweni kotshwala, wavezwa ngomlomo owomileyo nomuzwa womphimbo, okuwukuthi womile, waphuca uketshezi okuthile futhi, ngokushesha nokwesaba ukutshona, njengesizathu sokufika sekwephuzile ekhaya. Wavuka masinyane wavala, kuvulandi, wonke amakamelo owomile nami, ngilala ngaphakathi, kubandakanya nokubaleka…

Bese kuba nobusuku obugcwele imigqumo yezinhlanga nothwala bezindlela ezihlukile zokuphila ababengakafiki esitimeleni, belele emabhentshini. Bebuka ukuqaphela, izikhulu zomthetho ezintathu ezazigqoke umfaniswano, emotweni yenkampani, zohlobo lweZhiguli ezinezinombolo eziluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka nokubhalwe ezinhlangothini ze-MILURE, amaphoyisa abengakasungulwanga eRussia, ahamba ayohamba eyohlola uhlangothi olumnyama. Ngemuva kokuqikelela ukuthi yonke into ihambisana nomthetho futhi akukho muntu ongathatha imali eyishiywe, bafake izimoto zabo zilingana, bezungeza indawo ethengiswayo, okubandakanya i-biosorti… Ababili abanezibhamu zomshini, amabatons, izicubu zegesi, amabhuzu nezigqoko baphuma baqonda ekhanda maqondana nezitolo zabathengisi base-Eshiya be- «shawarma», ezaziphethwe yizakhamizi zaseRussia Federation, ezazinezizwe ezingamaMoroccans, ezazingaqondi nhlobo isiRussia, kepha beyizakhamizi, futhi kwakusembholweni obhalwe ukuthi «GAY SHAURMA FOR PUTIN AND TRUMP». Kungani igama elinjalo lalikhona, mhlawumbe, kungenzeka ukuthi abahumushi babenamahlaya. Umshayeli onesibhamu, wayehlala emotweni e-helm futhi ngokuzumayo?!

Mina, umuntu okugcina umthetho ongeyena isakhamuzi seRussian Federation, ngingumRussia ngokobuzwe. Sivela e-USSR, eRiphabhlikhi yaseKazakhstan, lapho bangishaya khona bonke ubuntwana bami ngoba ngangingamaRussia kuphela. Kodwa-ke, lapho ngikhula, sengivele ngabashaya. Kepha le yindaba ehlukile, futhi manje sibuyele ecebeni: Mina, umuntu ongeyena isakhamuzi esithobela umthetho waseRussian Federation, ngesizwe – isiRussia, umuntu ogwetshiwe ohlonishwayo, ophambili weFSB, impesheni, umuntu okhubazekile nakho konke lokhu ngokuhlangana, ikakhulukazi njengoba ngangikwazi konke lokhu ngingekho, lapho ayengazange khona, wavele wavuka engxenyeni ekhathazayo evela edokodweni elingumakhelwane futhi, ukuba ngicace kakhudlwana, ngangizwa ikamelo elivaliwe, ebusuku, igumbi lesikwele elizungeze kimi, nophahla ngaphezulu. Ngakuzwa konke futhi angikhumbuli noma angiqondi ukuthi ngikuphi?! Izindonga zazichoboza umqondo wami kanjalo. Nginqume ukungena «esiteji esincane», lapho bengihleli ngaphambili, futhi umlenze wami wawela emgodini, ngakho konke kufana ne-bay. Ngakhala ngaze ngaphaphama, ngigqolozela isigqi, ngaphupha ngendodakazi ejwayelekile, i-comrade sergeant, kanye nomshayeli wesikhashana. Wayethukile futhi ekhanyise okomdlwembe, echoboza isifuba sakhe, kodwa ngaso leso sikhathi wasithokozela leso simo, kodwa akakholelwa ku-ghost. Mina, ngingenakhono, ngaqalekiswa ngicela usizo, ngizama ukugqekeza okungenani umgodi othile odongeni oluzungezile, kodwa umsebenzi wami wawungenamsebenzi, futhi ukuhlwitha akubanga.

Ngaleso sikhathi, ngakolunye uhlangothi lwendlu yangasese, omunye umshayeli wenqola yamaphoyisa, lo msolwa wayevele esefonele ukuthi kuqinisekiswe, futhi ababili, bengalindele ukuthi ukudla kwase-Arabhu kusuka enhlama nasenkukhu, amakati nezinja ezithengwe ngeze, bebevele begijimela ukusiza umlingani naye.

Ngezwa amazwi ngaphesheya kwedokodo, kodwa lokho akuzange kusize ekunciphiseni ikhanda le-hangover.

– Ubani olapha? – omunye wabo wabuza.

– Ngilapha, futhi ungubani? Ngibuze.

– Mina? manje uyazi…

– Hlukana nenqaba!! – Ngibuze enye futhi kwakungekho nzima ukwenza lokhu ngesigaxa sesibhamu sokushaya. Umnyango uvulekile. Phambi kwami kwakumi izingane ezintathu ezimangele, eyodwa, ngasendleleni, zinqamleze umfaniswano, zifana neyodwa iphoyisa. Ngemuva kwalokho bangiyisa esiteshini samaphoyisa esiseduze, futhi ithoyilethi lokufuya alizange linciphe.

Unogada wacabanga isikhathi eside ukuthi angasichaza kanjani isizathu sokuboshwa kwakhe emsebenzini lowo mbiko. Futhi kushiwo kanjena:

«Uboshiwe, ngesikhathi uzama ukuphanga okuqukethwe kwendlu yangasese ye-bio kusuka ngaphakathi, ecashe ngobulungiswa nge-padlock, ngaphandle.»

Wonke umuntu wayezijabulisa, ikakhulukazi selokhu lo mboshwa wangaphambilini, owayephoqelelwa ukuba ahlanze ihhovisi elithile, wazama ukubaleka futhi wabambeka phezulu phakathi kwesihlalo sefestile sewindows nezimbambo ezivikelekile zekhulu leshumi nesishiyagalombili lokudala ithenisi. Abacimi bomlilo babizwa, ngokunembile, abacimi bomlilo, futhi abacimi bomlilo yilabo abawucisha umlilo. Ngeshwa, uMnyango Wezimo Eziphuthumayo wawungakasungulwa. Labo bambuza:

– Yini enamathela kuyo?

– I-Pubic namaqanda!! kuphendula izinyembezi emehlweni akhe. Wabuye wasindiswa futhi wathunyelwa ukuba ahlanze i-outhouse, eyayingenawindi. Ngokuphikisana nalokho, ngakuphika ukuthi ngizoqeda impilo yami uma beqhubeka nokuphula amalungelo ami omthethosisekelo futhi bangiphoqa ukuthi ngihlanze imishini yabo endlini. Bahleka uMthethosisekelo futhi bathatha indawo yesijeziso sami ngokungishaya ezinsoni, okwathi ngemuva kwalokho ngaqala ukufuqa ebusuku, ekuqaleni ngegazi ngibe nosawoti. Kepha indlu yangasese ayigezanga!! Futhi mina, ngehora, ngalima izinkathi zobusuku baseNevsky Prospect, ngifuna impilo…

Isiphetho sangiletha okwesikhashana edolobheni iqhawe. ISt. Petersburg, ehostela losizo, imane yabiza abantu njengomuntu ongenakhaya. Banginikeza i-shkonar, okuwukuthi, umbhede, engawushaya isigamu senyanga kusuka kubaphathi bezidakwa bendawo, befaka abayishumi nanhlanu esibhedlela ngaphambi kokungishiya kwami. Ama-Trophies ayematilasi. Ngiqoqe ayisishiyagalolunye kuyo. Ngababeka elinye ngaphezulu kwesinye futhi ngalala cishe ophahleni. Kwakukhona ezinye iziphazamiso: ukuthopha phansi kwakuyimpicabadala kakhulu, futhi ngangincika esitebhisini sokhuni. Impilo yathatha inkambo yayo ejwayelekile: Ekuseni – kusihlwa, kwasemini – endlini yangasese, njalo njalo. Bangikhokhela mina nomngani wami engihlala naye uLyokha Lysy, owayesephothule izifundo ezimbili eziphakeme kuleyo ndawo iminyaka eyishumi nanhlanu, ngesimo esizolile sesitezi sethu sesibili. Wayengafani ngokubona futhi wayeneshumi nesishiyagalombili kobomvu ngamazwi akhe. Futhi njengoba kwakunzima ukuthola izibuko ezinamehlo anjalo, wazigoqa kokutholakala, ngokungeza, ozimele ezintathu ezinezingilazi futhi wazixhuma ngocingo lwethusi. Ngakho-ke wazuza umbono wamaphesenti ayikhulu. Futhi ngaqala ukumhlonipha ngesithunzi amahlaya anamehlo ayisishiyagalombili. Sasihlala naye emndenini, njengakule ndawo, ngamafuphi, sasinezimpande futhi sabelana ngesinkwa ngokubhaka, noma kunjalo, ngasizathu simbe wanginikeza iqhebe elikhudlwana, wangihlonipha noma wangondla izikhathi zokulinda zokuphila ukuze ngandise impilo yami ngokufaka inyama yami. Njalo ekuseni mina, ngivuka, ngithola etafuleni lami ukudla okwenzeka usuku lonke noma ngaphezulu. Abantu asebekhulile kanye nezakhamizi zakwezinye ubudala, bonke abahlala ezindaweni ezingekho kude kangako futhi abemfishane kakhulu: omncane kunabo bonke wayeneminyaka eyishumi nanhlanu, ngokuzithandela wabelana nathi izabelo zabo, ezitholwa ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene zobusela obuncane nokunikezwa kwezingxenye ezicebile zabantu, okubizwa ngokuthi yikhaya. Ngangihlala ngiphikiswa futhi ngibuyisa lokhu emuva, ngakho-ke babekhokha intela lapho ngilele. Onempandla wakujabulela lokhu ukunakwa futhi waqala nokudla amanoni.

Ngolunye usuku ekuseni ngineqhwa. Isithwathwa sasiwela ngaphandle kwewindi. Ukuvuka njengenjwayelo bekungamavilapha, futhi bezingekho izinhlelo zokuthenga imali, ikakhulukazi kusukela izolo, ikhanda lami labe selimile. Indoda eyimpandla, njengenjwayelo, ifunda okuthile engqondweni yayo, ihamba kuphela ngezindebe eziphansi. Futhi konke lokhu bekuyoqhubeka, ukube bekungekho ngokubonakala kwendoda endala yamashumi ayisikhombisa ubudala i-cormorant-recidivist, itilosi, ibanga elide, umphenyi kanye noMethodius ongenakhaya onezimpande zaseFinland. Ngifuna ukuqaphela ukuthi iziboshwa zivame ukuxhumana nezinhlangano, njengakulesi simo. Futhi wayekhuluma kakhulu ngeCaucasus kunokukhuluma ngendlela yaseFinland.

– Hawu, izinambuzane, sinokopha? waqala kusuka ehlombe. Ngaphenduka, uBald wehlisa le ncwadi. Kudlule umzuzu.

– Yini oyidingayo? – kubuza uBald wazingcwaba kwinoveli.

– Yima ubheke isiphawulo, thatha iziqhosha zegolide, okungukuthi, kimi, bese uyaphonsa. Iminyaka emine ngathola impesheni.

Ngemuva kwamazwi akhe, sekudlule imizuzu emibili futhi iqhwa elisha lashwabana ngaphansi kwezinyawo zethu. Kude kude, bekukhona isitolo esinezitezi zohlobo oluthile lwesiGeorgia. Sangena kuwo sa-oda amakhulu amabili. Nge-Methodius enziwe kahle futhi:

– AmaTatar awaphili ngaphandle kwezithandani! – Sikhishwe enye ikhulu. Okulandelayo, emva kwethosi lakudala:

– uNkulunkulu uyabuthanda ubathathu! – Sikhishwe lezi zingilazi futhi. Ngemuva kwalokho saxoxa sathula, ngamunye waba yedwa futhi uMethodius kuphela akazange athule azitshele ukuthi ikota yokuqala yamukelwa kanjani kulawa amahlanu atholakalayo. Sasingezona izilaleli ezikhululekile.

– Umkhumbi wethu weza noKyuubi. Ngaya emzaneni kamfowethu. Siphuze isonto lonke. Ngakho-ke ekuseni sahlangana kumnini-ndlu, emva kwento ebekonakele sadlula endlini lapho kwakukhona umshado. Ngabancoma, futhi bangithumelela nezincwadi ezintathu… Ngabuka lapho ngabona inqwaba yezitini ngemuva kwami, ngenkathi umfowethu ehamba eyokhanya inyanga nembazo, ngathatha onke amatshe endlini, kunenxeba, yebo, umakoti wayephambili ebunzini. Ngemuva kwalokho, waqala ukuthulisa amafasitela. Inqwaba ibingenaso isikhathi sokuphela lapho sengiboshwe iminyaka emithathu ejele. Yini enye ozoyiphuza? -uqedile waya kwikhawunta yempahla yabathengi.

Siphuze kakhulu futhi isikhathi eside, ngibe nokudla okulula. Kusihlwa, uphahla lukaLysy lwaludilikile futhi waqala wagijimela kwabanye. Ngabheka lesi sifundo se-bespontovoe futhi ngasiholela isidekick esidakwayo endlini. Futhi uMethodius ngalesi sikhathi, wayesamukele kuLysy, ngamathuba noma cha, ngaphansi kwamehlo akhe, wayethule phezu kwetafula, emi phansi.

Ekuseni ngivuswe ngumsindo oshubile kanye nokuxokozela kukaBald. Kwavela ukuthi ngesikhathi elele, uMethodius owayethukuthele wabaleka wangena egumbini elinesixakaxaka futhi washaya uLyokha owayelele nge-crutch ngqo ebunzini lakhe. Agxume embhedeni awele phansi, asukume ephethe umucu amhlabe ngawo kwakudala. Ngibe sengikhumbula ngidlula nje, kwaba nokulwa, baze bahlukana. Kwavela ukuthi lapho ngisusa uLysy endaweni yokucima ukoma, uMethodius waphelelwa amandla. Waphonswa ngaphandle ngokwesiko emgwaqweni ngaphambi kokuvalwa, futhi wakhasa ekhaya, encike emvelweni wakhe.

– Ungiphonsa, Bald!! -Ukhonjwe njengegramophone futhi uyeka ukugqekeza futhi uyisikhulu, umkhulu, usevele ulele phansi, umhlane wakhe phansi.