СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - IZIMBALI ZESONTO. Amaphupho amnandi

– Kuyajabulisa ukuba seGalupia … – isitshudeni esincane okuthiwa uPukik saqala ukuncibilika kwezingxoxo.

– Yebo, uyakhohlwa, Pukik, kepha konke kukashokolethi! – Unovalo unqabile uKazul okuthiwa nguZulka. Abantu abadala uKazul kuyinto ejwayelekile ukusho ngokuphela «ia» – Kazulia, futhi omncane – ngaphandle «no» – Kazul. Kuyacaca lokho?? – Ungabi muncu, ukhuphuka, konke kufakwa uwoyela!! Phezulu. Sazalwa futhi sasinda.

– Abafowethu bonke bafa. – UPukik ukhiphe umgogodla odongeni wakuguqula phambi kwakhe. Oshaka babengenamehlo ngakho-ke babheka lonke udweshu lwabo futhi babona ngokushesha embuthanweni, amaphesenti angamashumi amabili kuphela ayegxilwe kakhulu, kanti okunye bekubhekwa njengento esekuhambeni.

– Yini oyigingqa uvolo wekotini, okhuphuka? – ushaye ngemuva ekhanda lakhe ngethambo likaZulk Pukik, obemamatheka kamnandi futhi ebuhlungu futhi, eshiswa yilanga.

– Eh, heh, heh – usizi kwavela ohlangothini lwesobunxele ngesimo sokwehla kwesihlabathi wazigoqela phansi izihlathi zakhe, washiya uphawu.

– Musa ukubheka wena, njenge-dandruff kumakhwapheni akho! – UZulka ukhale ngokuthi waqhafaza ngethambo lakhe lomlenze kuPukik. Ukuchofoza kuzwakale futhi kuzwakala ekujuleni komhubhe.

– Chofoza futhi! – kubuza uPukik.

– Yini, uyayithanda?

– Oooooh!!!! – i-siga yayigcinwe iqhwa ngokuqhaqhazela okuqhaqhazelayo, ngoba le yindlela yokugeza, njengokugeza noma ukugeza.

– Musa ukucabangisisa, zema, ungazungezi wave. Konke kuhle kakhulu!!!

– Ngeke ngigobe … – kumuntu ophethe inyongo.

– Ukuthenga!.

– Musa ukugoba..

– Ukuthumela!!

– Musa ukugoba!

– Ukuthumela!!!

– Musa ukugoba!!

– Ukuthumela!!!!

– Musa ukugoba!!!

– Ukuthumela, Ukuthumela, Ukuthumela, Ukuthumela, Ukuthumela, Ukuthumela, Ukuthumela!!!!! -UZulka uthathe umoya ojulile wamemeza – Aaaaaooo!!!!!!!

– Ungakhali njengengulube. – UPukik uhambe.

– Yini «ingulube»?

– Angazi, ngakho kwenzeka kimi.

– Kuvelaphi?

– Evela kwikamela.

– Ikhamela? Yini leli gama?

– Ah?.. Yebo kanye «nengulube.» Ngiyeke!

– Ahh! Yebo, phumula.

– Yini, «aaaaa»? – kuphazamisekile uPukik.

– Yebo, ngibonile?! – UZulka wamhlikihla iso.

– Yini, «kuqondwe»?

– Leyo «ngulube» «ikamela», futhi «ikamela» uku..

– «ingulube»! – ungeze umjondolo futhi wakhetha enye impande odongeni. – Ayikhanyi… Ngabe ufuna ukudla? – futhi wayinameka esweni lakhe.

– Ugh.. – amkhafulele. – Yebo, udlani, kepha yidla. Bheka ngapha nangapha. Umuhle kanjani konke, darkoo..

– Toto futhi yona, emnyama hhayi i-horseradish ayibonakali, ngaphandle kwakho.

– Futhi ubukeka kangcono, leli yizwe lakini, izwe lakini!

UPukik ngobuwula nangobuhlakani waphakamisa ugebhezi wakhe waphenduka amehlo agxile futhi akabonanga lutho. Wabheka ngaphansi kokungabonakali futhi ngombono oseceleni… waphinda futhi.

– Yebo, awubheki, kepha bheka ngaphakathi, ujule ekuchazeni lokho…

– Yini?

– Lokhu!.. Lokho esikufuna ngaphakathi.

– Angiboni lutho. – noPukik wehlisile inhlansi yakhe.

– Kanjani: Ngiyabona, kepha awuboni? -UZulka ngentambo yakhe yasentambo wakhipha ugebhezi wakhe amahlandla amabili waqala ukuphenduka: manje ngakwesokunxele, bese kwesobunxele, bese phezulu, bese kuthi phansi … – Futhi manje uyakubona ubuhle bobumnyama bezwe?

– Ngakho-ke?! – UPunkik. – konke kuyadabukisa..

– Yebo, ubukeka ungcono kakhulu! – futhi yena, esimeni sakhe sobuntwana, amkhafule njengomsubathi wesando. Isigaxa sakhe siguqekile, hhayi izinkanyezi kodwa kwavela amabala emehlweni akhe.

– Ngiyeke, ukhohlakele. wamemeza.

– Ah kunjalo?! – futhi yena, esebenzisa amandla akhe amakhulu, futhi kwakukhona amashothi amancane amancane kuneKazul, waqondisa izinzwa zakhe eziwubala futhi waziphonsa, nge-inertia ye-angular velocity, eceleni kodonga. Oshaka babengenazo izinzwa zokuphelisa izinzwa ngakho-ke abuzange bezwe zinhlungu, yingakho uPukik eqala ukuzikhipha ebusweni obuqinile njengebhola le-billiard kanye ne-ricochet: ngokuchofoza ibunzi lakhe etsheni elaliqoshwe odongeni, bese lingena ophahleni, lapho ophahleni, mayelana naphansi, futhi eceleni kodonga, olunye udonga mayelana naphansi, futhi mayelana nodonga, ophahleni, mayelana naphansi, futhi mayelana nodonga, olunye udonga, uphahla, cishe phansi, mayelana nodonga, olunye udonga futhi lwaphuthuma ngokuzimele oluya eZulka.

– Futhi uze ngokwakho, ngaphandle kwalokho maduze kuzoba nohlobo oluthile lokunciphisa … – UShisha uthathe umoya ojulile.

– Yini izifinyezo? – UZulka wazama ukukususa iso, kepha iso leso lalinamathinta futhi laphawulwa lapho kuhlangana khona nentamo ngenhliziyo yomzuliswano owedlule.

– Udinga ukuya ezifundweni. – yaqhubeka enye i-kazul egama layo linguSoplyushka. – E-Galupia, phakathi nenhlekelele.

– Isitoko semisebe ewusizo siphelile. – umhlanga wokuqala waphulwa, kwabizwa – Owokuqala.

– Ama-cesspools … – engeza owesibili, wabizwa ngokufanayo.

– Futhi-ke, ukuze wonke umuntu angafi okuhle, izikhohlakali ezimbi zizobhujiswa.

– Benzele ukudla okuhle.

– Yebo, sizokufa noma kunjalo uma singatholi omunye umthombo wokudla. – UShisha waphetha, futhi ngaso leso sikhathi bakhala ngazwi linye. UZulka akazange aqaphele ngisho noma kwakhulunywa, kwakubaluleke kakhulu kuye ukuthi avele ngokushesha, futhi wazidonsa, wakhipha elinye laphenduka kanye neso iso ngosizo lwethambo lomlenze laphuma lagobhoza lapho kungafakwanga khona, kwase kuthi lapho kuvunguza umoya njalonjalo. Iso lalengiswa endaweni yokwelula, kwathi ngemuva komzuzwana umzimba wagijimela iso, wayishaya. Iso lindizela kude nomzimba futhi selulele i-nerve entanyeni, laqhakaza futhi lahudula ngemuva kwamehlo eduze komhubhe. Iso belingathandeki futhi, ngenxa yokwelula, ehudula uZulka, ashaye ujike olubheke odongeni futhi wakhipha umgodi. UChopik wandiza futhi iso lakhe lalengiswa ekuqaleni. Abafowethu bagijimela ukuyosindisa, kwathi okokuqala ngqa, «badonsa donsa» ngesithathi, ngobunzima, kusukela emzameni wesihlanu bakhipha amehlo abo ngaphandle kwejeme kwathi udonga lwawa, okwenza ukuthi bangakwazi ukungena esivulekweni esikhulu. Ngaphambi komuzi, uGalupy ubengazi ngempilo yasemhlabeni, noma abaphathi bengazange babazise.

Bonke bagoqa amakhanda phezu kwezithende futhi bezwa ukukhanya kwemvelo kweLanga kuze kube yilapho isigodi singabonwa ngobuningi bamaGalups.

Ngokuphazima kweso, isidina sabuya futhi undlunkulu oyinduna uStasyan wandizela emgodini wanamathela phansi kwesisu sakhe…

– O, ungubani? – kubuza uZulka.

– Mshaye!! – Ukumemeza i-crockck okweshumi, futhi ama-future fighters athatha isikhundla sokufunda isikhathi eside esingabizwa kakhulu ngokuthi «anti-izindiza.» Kusukela ekushayweni kwazo zonke izimpukane zazikhubazekile zabaleka, ziphi ezafa, elesithathu zindiza.

– Ay, ah, ah, ah, ah! kumemeza undlunkulu. – ngoba yiniooooooh????

UStasyan akakuzwisisanga ukubungaza kwabo ngakho-ke wanquma ukuzivikela nokudla. Wayephindwe kabili nge-kazuli, ngakho-ke ngentokozo ngensipho yakhe wabanjwa iso likaShisha. Wamemeza.

– U-Aahai yay yay, uyaluma, futhi mina, isiwula ngiyamkhulumela. Mshaye, nina bafana. – kanti abaseshi baphinde batheleka kundlunkulu, bamshaya, kwathi gxuma uZulka onamandla weqa wamkhipha emgodini ngaphandle. Imizamo yakhe isize ngama-paws akhe, okuyinto ayidonsayo, ngokuba, ukuba nomzimba womzimba kusukela ngaphandle komgodi.. UStasyan, engazitholi, wazithola esengaphandle, wabaleka. Wayengasakwazi ukundiza phezulu, njengakuqala. Kusukela ekushayweni kwabantu abangabazi wonke umquba undiza kanye nezimpukane, kepha washesha, washesha, wagijima ngokushesha, wagijima ngokushesha, wagijima ngokushesha, wagijima ngokushesha, wagijima ngokushesha, wagijima futhi, waduka emasimini omhlonyane, walala phansi walala…

U-Generalisiphilis ngokwakhe kungekudala wafunda ngalesi sigameko esisekupheleni komhume. Bonke uGalupii, ubuMongameli Bakhe, uSemisrak. Lo Mkhandlu ongagxiliwe wamaCherepovichs eHole of Botva wePhalamende Eliphezulu le-Great Galupia (NBVPVG) wafunda futhi wafunda ukwazi lokhu. (INora yisisekelo; iBotva iqoqo lezingqondo zekoloni).

– ngicela wonke umuntu asukume!! – kubike unobhala wezindaba ZobuMongameli Bakhe, uCasulia Zack, – uSamu, Inkosi Yakhe Ngaphandle Kwe-Tower Greatness, uGeneralisifilis All Galupov, Ihhovisi Lakhe, INkosi Ephakeme, uSemisrak prt… OOOOTSTOOOOY!!!!

Wonke umuntu wayemi ebumnyameni, okungukuthi, ezimpondweni.

– Haihai hylayek bir amajusi, ama-bir bark. Ulwandle olunenkani, ulwandle olugxolo, Umkhosi wama-gulemys wawumdala … – okwamukela uCherevichi iNhloko yakhe. IGeneralisyphilis yathatha indawo yayo.

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