СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - Wopanda Chinyengo. Wofufuza woseketsa

Khomo lakumaso lidatsekeka, ndipo Corporate Incephalopath adawonekera pakhomo.

– Kodi ndingapeze nawo katoni?

– Lowani mukakhale pansi… Tili ndi bizinesi… Mawa tikupita ku St. – Ottila adadzuka, natembenuka ndikukhala pampando.

– Chifukwa?

– Chipilala chomwe chabedwa mpaka pamphuno ya Gogol.

– Aaaaa … – encephalopath adalowa ndikukhala pampando wa omvera ndi alendo, ataponya phazi kumapazi. – Ndimakumbukira, Bos…

APULAZ 2

Harutun Karapetovich amawoneka wowonda komanso wautali. Nkhope yake inali Caucasian wamba. Tsitsi limachita imvi, lalitali mpaka mapewa, ngakhale ngati udzu. Ku Tiechka panali khola lolimba lomwe limapezedwa pantchito yakale monga woyang’anira antchito alendo. M’mbuyomu, adagwirapo ntchito, ndipo adakhala m’ndende zaka khumi. Anecdote adafotokoza za Lenin, mtsogoleri wa gulu lowongolera, ngakhale nkhumba, kwa owerengetsa milandu ku khonsolo yaku mzindawo, ndipo idagunda. Lenin akanayankha mosavuta, adangoseka, koma aboma akumaloko komweko – ayi. Koma zinali mu nthawi ya Soviet. Ndipo chifukwa chake, ndi kutha kwa dongosolo la Soviet, mbiri yaupandu idasowanso. Anapangidwanso komanso kupatsidwa phindu la mpweya. Koma atapuma pantchito, amafuna kuti akhale othandiza pagulu, kenako mkazi wa wapolisi wachigawo watsopanoyo adakwereketsa ndi maso ake amtambo ndipo… enawo ndi HACK… Chifukwa chake, ndikuganiza, osalumbira… Chifukwa chake adapita ku Corporate kuti kwa wapolisi wakuchigawo, ndipo maudindo adatsalira pantchito yankhondo.

Amakonda Chingerezi Chofufuzira cha Chingerezi ndipo chifukwa chake amasuta chitoliro ngati Holmes, iye amangosokoneza. Anavala chipewa komanso masharubu, ngati a Elkyl, aku Georgia okha. Ngakhale nzimbe idagula zofanana ndi izo ndi tawuni kuchokera kwa antchito ku Mariinsky Opera ndi Ballet Theatre ndikutengera bokosi la mwezi. Nsapatozi zidapangidwa kuti aziyitanitsa ndi woyandikana naye yemwe amagwira ntchito yowombera m’derali. Anawafikitsa ndi zikhomo ndipo akamayenda, makamaka phula, ankadina ngati hatchi kapena mtsikana wochokera ku Broadway. Mphuno yake inali ngati ya chiwombankhanga, ndipo maso ake akuluakulu anali onga a mandimu.

«Chifukwa chake,» anatero Ottila, ndikukhala pampando wapadera. Izya anakhomera chitseko nalowa muofesi. Pa tray iye ananyamula mazira okazinga ndi nsomba ndi msuzi wa adyo watsopano wowoneka bwino. – bwerani mwachangu, pena ndiye kuti chithacho chikugunda kale.

– Fuuuu! – Incephalopath wokongola, – mumamwa bwanji? Mutha kumasuka…

– Mukumvetsa chiyani pamawu okometsa? Osamamwa. Ndimakonda. -ulk.. – adatenga sip ya Ottila ndipo.., – Uhhh, – adaipitsira pambali. Adalumpha ndikuthamangira kukona yakutali ya ofesiyo. Gulp la timiyala tokhala ngati fumbi lidachoka pakhosi paja ndipo nthawi yomweyo, monga mpweya wong’ambika, idasefukira m’chipindacho. Arutuna adagwidwa ndi matenda amphumu ndipo m’mene adakhazikika, sanali wokhoza.

– Mungachite manyazi kapena china chake?! Ndine woyenera makolo anu.

– Kapena mwina amayi? – Ottila adakumana ndi mazira osokosera ndipo, pakamwa, ndikulavula zibowo, zolimba kwambiri: – aliyense ali ndi zokonda zawo, atero Mhindu, akutsika kuchokera pa nyani ndikupukutira tambala wake ndi tsamba la nthochi. Kodi mukufuna diso?

– Ah! Pepani, mthandizi, ndayiwala kena kake … – Arutun Karapetovich anachita manyazi ndikukhala pampando.

Mwadzidzidzi khomo lolowera mumsewu lidatsekeka ndipo mayi wachikulire wazaka pafupifupi zana adalowa mu ofesi.

– Ndani sanatseke chitseko? Ndili otanganidwa, agogo!!! – Bug Klop ndikutsamwitsidwa…

Mkaziyo adamva kutsokomaku ndipo adathamangira kwa iye ndi pepala ndi cholembera, kuti amulembe. Koma ataona kuti ndi wopanda pake, adawombera ndikumenya mamuna wake pamapewa. Ottila adatulutsa pansi ndikatulira zilala.

– Uh, Harutun, cartilage wakale, bwanji sunakhome khomo pambuyo pako pomwe umabwera? Ndipo inu, agogo, tulukani, tili ndi msonkhano.

– Monga? anafunsa agogo ogontha.

– Agogo! bwerani chakudya chamadzulo!! – adatero Klop mokweza.

– Idyani, idyani, wokondedwa ndi marigold… Ndidikirira. – agogo adamwetulira pansi, chifukwa kudalibe mipando yambiri, ndipo sichinali chizolowezi kusiya malo pano, ndipo palibe aliyense mwa omvera omwe adakumbukira.

– Ndi nkhomaliro wanji? Huh? Ndikudya cham’mawa… Ndipo pajambule: gwiranani ntchito ndi oyang’anira. – Ottila adasuntha dzanja lake ndipo, atanyamula supuni ndi chidutswa cha dzira, adakoka kachilomboka mwachindunji m’diso la Harutun, – ndipo iwe? – adalumphira pampando, – osayamika, kenako adalumphira patebulo, – mungathe kudya kuwala kwa mwezi, ndikugundana nkhope. Sindikufuna kuyenda ngati coyote.. – ndipo ngati ndima, ndikugwiritsa ntchito choposa, ndinadumphira patebulo pansi, – ndikukupatsani. Lembani mawu ndipo ndi!

– Natani? Mukufuula chiyani? «Isolde Fifovna adasokoneza iye ndikulira kwa King Kong.»

– Ah? – matalala adayamba ndikuyamba.

– Mukumva chiyani? – adafunsa modekha komanso mwakachetechete, – sukuwona, wagona kwanthawi yayitali.

– Ndiye, apa, tsopano, kugona usiku umodzi? Incifalatus, chotsani penshoni iyi. – Ottila adachira m’thumba ndikukwera pampando kuti adye nawo nthawi ina.

– Ndine Incephalopath, woyang’anira, osati Wachifundo. – adakonza Corporate ndikupita kwa mayi wokalambayo. Mopepuka adamupukuta ndi ndodo, monga Poirot kapena Watson. – Wokondedwa, eti?! – adatembenukira kwa Bwana, yemwe adakhala kale pagome komanso pampikisano.

– Bwana, mwa lingaliro langa, ndisangala.

– Chiyani? Rape-rattle.

– Chabwino,. Sipumira. Idamwalira. – kachiwiri ndi mantha m’mawu ake adati Harutun. Milomo yake inanjenjemera. Amaganiza kuti zomwezi zimuyembekezeranso. Harutun analira.

Ottila atangolekemera ndi pakamwa pakudya. Amayang’ana mkazi wake ndikufunsa:

– Zhinka, pitani mukaone.

Fifovna adabwera ndikumkweza mayi wokalambayo pa kolala. Mapazi ake adagwa pansi, ndipo mawondo sadawongoka. Adapita ndikukakhazikitsa mtembo ngati chikho patsogolo pa mug, ndikuyang’ana mopusa ndi kamwa yake yodzaza ndi mazira otafuna, mwamuna wake.

– Dziwonere nokha, misozi, kodi wamwalira kapena ayi?! – ndipo anali atatsala pang’ono kuchoka. – Iye, Zhinka. Muyankha Zhinka. adasilira…

– Muthane naye pagome, chitsiru!!! Kodi muli… kwenikweni, kapena chiyani? Ndine bwana pano, ndi abwana, ndipo inu?…

– , zidayambanso. – anasokosera thireyi Intsephalopath.

– Ndipo mumagwiritsa ntchito thumba la Ottila Aligadzhievich Klop kwaulere! – zinyenyazo kuchokera mkamwa zidafalikira, – Ndipo ambiri … «Ndiwe wantchito kuno.» Muli nazo?

– Inde, mbuyanga. -Donald Isoldushka ndipo adagwada. Mutu wake unali utafooka ndi mutu wa mwamuna wake ataimirira patebulopo. Ndipo kukula kwa mitu yawo kumangochititsa chidwi chilichonse: Mutu wake unali zokulirapo kasanu kuposa iye.

– chabwino, heh heh heh, ndikhululukireni, tengani agogo awa kunja kwa khonde. Ayi, ndibwinoko kutalitali. Ndiye m’mawa ndipo wina adzamupeza.

Mkaziyo adatenga mtembowo ndipo adapita nawo pomwe mwini wake adawalamulira. Kupatula apo, adagwiranso ntchito othandizira, ngati waluso waukadaulo, woyang’anira ndege ndi mlembi wothandizira ndi wamkulu masitetesi. Patatha mphindi imodzi anabwerera ndikuyenda, ndikuguba patebulo.

– ndinamponyera mpanda.

– Kodi ndiwe wopusa kapena china chake? Uyu ndi msirikali wakale wa mbewu. Zowona, atakhala. Mwachidule – bum.

– Mumadya. – mkaziyo adatola mbale.

– sindikufuna. Mukadayenera kuyikapo mbale yanga. Chakudya chamtundu wanji? Chotsani, tuloleni ana adye. Osangowauza zomwe ndadya. Ndipo amanyoza.

– Uko nkulondola, ngati uli ndi hule kuchokera mkamwa mwako. Kodi mukufunika kutsuka mano mukamaliza kuyeretsa, zaka zana zapitazo? – mkaziyo adatola mbale kuchokera pagome ndikumapita ku theka lanyumba.

– Khalani chete, mkazi! Kodi mumamvetsetsa chiyani? Chabwino, – ndidataya mpango wanga ndi zinyenyeswazi ndi madontho patebulo. – Zomwe ndimafuna kunena. Huh?.. Chifukwa chake, konzekerani kupita kwa Petro.

– Chifukwa?

– O, mnzake, tili ndi bizinesi yatsopano. Choyamba komanso chomaliza!

– Kodi tikusamutsidwira ku St. – Harutun adatulutsa tsitsi m’mphuno mwake, adakondwera ndikuwomba ndodo.

– Ayi, itengereni kuzizira. Tifufuza nkhani yayikulu, osati kuthamangitsa mbuzizo, posaka nkhuku ndi ng’ombe zotaika. Ndipo, tikamupeza, tidzasunthidwa…

– Kumakhala kuti kumwamba?

– Opusa, kulibe mizinda kumwamba, Ku America.

– Ndipo tidzayang’ana chiyani? Kodi chikufunika kupezeka kuti chititumize ku America ndi chiyani?

– Tikuyang’ana mphuno…

– Ndi mphuno ya yani? – Harutun sanamvetsetse.

Ottila anakwera patebulo ndi kupita kutsidya lina, pafupi ndi Corporate. Adakhala pansi ndikukhomerera miyendo yake, ndikucheza nawo.

.., Mwachidule.. – adayamba ndi liwu limodzi.

– Ndipo bwanji, mu kunong’onyeka ndiye?

– Nerd, mpikisano. Mlanduwu ukhoza kuchotsedwa ndi a Feed.

– Ahhh! Ndinazindikira cartridge.

– Ndiye, manja. Heh, ozizira! Ndine «cartridge», ndipo ndinu «malaya». Ndipo cartridge imayikidwa m’manja. Hahaha Ndizoseketsa

– Ayi. Amayikamo chipolopolo.

– Chiyani, anzeru? Ndipo mukudziwa kuti m’dziko lathu aliyense ndi wanzeru – osauka komanso osauka. Kodi mukufuna kusintha? Ndiye mverani, sindikufotokozera kawiri. Malo oyera sakhala opanda kanthu. Ndipo malo anu, osati Oyera Oyera.. Kodi mukudziwa kuti ndi anthu angati osowa m’mudzi mwathu omwe akufuna kuti akuchitireni ufulu wanu?

Harutun adatupa m’maso chifukwa cha mantha ndikugwetsa misozi.

– Pepani, cartridge, osati chipolopolo chimayikidwa mu malaya, koma cartridge.

– , Ndiye, mverani, kuchuluka kwake, ndifotokoze mwachidule: Eeee… kodi udawerengapo Gogol?

– Adamwa mogul.

– Mukundibera?

– Zinali nthabwala. Ndinawonera makanema nawo omwe amatenga nawo mbali.

– Ndizabwino. Kodi mudawonera kanema wonena za NOS?

– Za mphuno ya ndani?

– Chabwino, osati za zako? … – Ottila adalumphira patebulo, – Humor kachiwiri?

– Mnn, inde! – nkhalamba idayimirira mwachidwi. Ottila adayang’anitsitsa mtengo wa bizinesiyo ndipo, ndi maso opupuluma, adakweza mutu wake, ndikuponyera mutu wake kumapeto ndipo adangowona tulo tofa nato.

– Khalani gonana… adafuwula. Wogwira ntchitoyo adakhala pachiwopsezo.

– Ndinakumbukira. Kathumba… apa ndipomwe bambo adataya mphuno…

– Mukukumbukiridwa?

– Ndizotheka!!

– Chifukwa chake tim’funa. Mwiniwake … – Ndipo Ottila adakankhira chala padenga. – adandifunsa theka la tsiku. Adandipempha kwambiri kuti inenso ndiyankhe nkhaniyi. M’malo molankhula, adachita kudziletsa.

– Mulungu?

– Ayi, chitsiru iwe, Marshal. Nuuu, mulungu wathu. Anatinso kuti palibe munthu wofunika … – Ottila adalumpha ndikugwada, ndikuyimirira pansi ndikuyendetsa zinthu.

– Ndipo tidzamuyang’ana bwanji. Iyi ndi nkhani?! Komanso, adamwalira.

– ndi ndani?

– Eya, awa, otchuka adamwalira kale… ndipo Gogol ndiye mboni yayikulu, yemweyo… chabwino, wakufa.?! Uku si nthabwala.. Ahhh?

– Chitsiru. – Chidacho chidalumphira kuchokera pamphumi pa Incephalopath. – Tidzayang’ana chipilala pa bolodi lamkuwa lomwe linabedwa. Pali anthu opanda nyumba kapena akhwangwala. Zomwezo, chipilala ku NOSU, ndipo mwina… malo akale.!?

– Ndipo ndani azikhala pano?

– Isolde ndi Izzy pa wamkulu.

– Kodi akadali ocheperako?

– Palibe kanthu kakang’ono, ndimadziwa kale mkazi wazaka zake.

– Pa izi, malingaliro ambiri sofunikira: ayikeni, mate ndikumapita…