СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски - Umseshi Obucayi. Umseshi omnandi

– Akukho lutho, lapha eSt. Petersburg uzophefumula amagesi futhi ukhululeke.

UHarutun wayefuna ukusho okuthile ukuthi azohlala nonkosikazi kaKlop, kodwa waba nomcabango futhi wabheka lo msila onamakhwapha amabili edolweni lakhe futhi wacindezela lesi sinambuzane endwangu yebhulukwe lakhe ngesithupha sakhe.

– Yini obefuna ukuyikhipha? – ngokubhuqa, ekhwehlela amehlo akhe, kubuza u-Ottila.

– Anginayo imali noma umuthi.

– Yebo, lokho kuyathengiseka. Konke kukhokha isabelomali. Uma sithola ikhala.

– Futhi uma singayitholi?

– Futhi uma singayitholi, khona-ke zonke izindleko zizodonswa… kuwe.

– Kanjani?

– Kanjalo. Uma usabuza imibuzo yobuwula, ungalahlekelwa ngumsebenzi wakho. Ngiyitholile?

– Kulungile, kuyaqondakala. Sihamba nini?

– Umbuzo oyisiphukuphuku. Kufanele ngabe sesikhona. Asihambe manje!

– Futhi yini maduze? Angizange ngiphathe ipotimende lami?

– Kufanele siyigcine ilungile ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ubuwazi lapho uwuthola khona umsebenzi… By the way, into efanayo…

– Yini?

– Angizange ngiphathe ipotimende lami. Yebo, asizidingi. Lapho ufika, thenga okudingayo. Nginekhadi lasebhange.

– Futhi uma imali ingekho?

– Uyophonsa. – Kuphinde futhi iphoyisa lesifunda lafaka umunwe ophahleni futhi ngesitayela se-pygmy lasuka, lisebenzisa izikhathi ezithile, etafuleni, liphakamisela unyawo phambi kwakhala likazakwabo. Wasondela ezinyaweni zakhe wawela etafuleni ngezinyawo ngendlela eqonde e-Arutun eya esihlalweni sakhe. Izinyembezi futhi zingena ekhanda zizophuma.

– Uhleli ini? asihambe! – wasula isandla sakhe, – futhi, kwaba sengathi ngomgwaqo waseSt. Petersburg, wakhukhula uMhlaba…

Bashiya inqaba, bashiya inothi kuphela ku-chalk emnyango:

«Ungakhathazeki. Sesiphumile esabelweni esiphuthumayo eSt. Petersburg. Uhlala endaweni ye-Incephalate, ne-Izya – esikhundleni sami.. Me!»

Futhi ezansi kukhona ukwengeza komunye umbhalo wesandla:

«Uxolo Pupsik, ngizobuyela njengoba kufanele! Ngenkathi uFlea wakho ehamba. Ngilinde futhi ngibuye. Mhlawumbe eyodwa…»

U-Izya wafunda lo mbhalo futhi, ebhala ephepheni elibhalwe ngesandla sikayise no-Intsefalopat, walifihla ephaketheni lakhe wayesula okubhaliwe emnyango.

– Yebo, imbuzi endala, uyitholile. – Ngathatha umakhalekhukhwini wami ngathumela i-SMS kubaba. Ngemuva kwalokho wangena endlini wanikeza umama wakhe inothi. Wayefunda futhi emhlikihla.

Agibele. Sizokubuyisela. Futhi akulona izwi ngokuqhubeka kukababa. Ngiyitholile?

– Impela, mama, ngiyaqonda… Futhi ake sithathe ingulube kumphathi omkhulu, ahh? waphakamisa.

– Uyini? Kumele senze konke ngokuya ngomthethosisekelo nangobulungiswa.

– Ungikhihla ngokungabi nangqondo?

– Ungumqondisi. Wazi kangcono. Futhi ngokwakhe uzolungisiswa phambi kukaNkulunkulu.

– Ingabe yileya elengiswe odongeni ehhovisi?

– Cishe. Lapho kulenga u-Iron Felix, iPhini lakhe. Kulungile, hamba wenze umsebenzi wakho wesikole.

– ngenzile. Mama, ngingahamba ngizohamba ngezinyawo emfuleni?

– Hamba, kepha khumbula, umdlwane: shona, ungafiki ekhaya. Ngizokubulala… Ngabe ngiyakubulala?

– Yebo. – U-Izzy wamemeza wanyamalala ngemuva komnyango…

APULAZ 3

– Cha, mlondeli, bengingahlala, inhliziyo yami ibuthakathaka…

– Akukho lutho, lapha eSt. Petersburg uzophefumula amagesi futhi ukhululeke.

UHarutun wayefuna ukusho okuthile ukuthi azohlala nonkosikazi kaKlop, kodwa waba nomcabango futhi wabheka lo msila onamakhwapha amabili edolweni lakhe futhi wacindezela lesi sinambuzane endwangu yebhulukwe lakhe ngesithupha sakhe.

– Yini obefuna ukuyikhipha? – ngokubhuqa, ekhwehlela amehlo akhe, kubuza u-Ottila.

– Anginayo imali noma umuthi.

– Yebo, lokho kuyathengiseka. Konke kukhokha isabelomali. Uma sithola ikhala.

– Futhi uma singayitholi?

– Futhi uma singayitholi, khona-ke zonke izindleko zizodonswa… kuwe.

– Kanjani?

– Kanjalo. Uma usabuza imibuzo yobuwula, ungalahlekelwa ngumsebenzi wakho. Ngiyitholile?

– Kulungile, kuyaqondakala. Sihamba nini?

– Umbuzo oyisiphukuphuku. Kufanele ngabe sesikhona. Asihambe manje!

– Futhi yini maduze? Angizange ngiphathe ipotimende lami?

– Kufanele siyigcine ilungile ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ubuwazi lapho uwuthola khona umsebenzi… By the way, into efanayo…

– Yini?

– Angizange ngiphathe ipotimende lami. Yebo, asizidingi. Lapho ufika, thenga okudingayo. Nginekhadi lasebhange.

– Futhi uma imali ingekho?

– Uyophonsa. – Kuphinde futhi iphoyisa lesifunda lafaka umunwe ophahleni futhi ngesitayela se-pygmy lasuka, lisebenzisa izikhathi ezithile, etafuleni, liphakamisela unyawo phambi kwakhala likazakwabo. Wasondela ezinyaweni zakhe wawela etafuleni ngezinyawo ngendlela eqonde e-Arutun eya esihlalweni sakhe. Izinyembezi futhi zingena ekhanda zizophuma.

– Kungani uhleli? asihambe! – wasula isandla sakhe, – futhi, kwaba sengathi ngomgwaqo waseSt. Petersburg, wakhukhula uMhlaba…

Bashiya inqaba, bashiya inothi kuphela ku-chalk emnyango:

«Ungakhathazeki. Sesiphumile esabelweni esiphuthumayo eSt. Petersburg. Uhlala endaweni ye-Incephalate, ne-Izya – esikhundleni sami.. Me!»

Futhi ezansi kukhona ukwengeza komunye umbhalo wesandla:

«Uxolo Pupsik, ngizobuyela njengoba kufanele! Ngenkathi uFlea wakho ehamba. Ngilinde futhi ngibuye. Mhlawumbe eyodwa…»

U-Izya wafunda lo mbhalo futhi, ebhala ephepheni elibhalwe ngesandla sikayise no-Intsefalopat, walifihla ephaketheni lakhe wayesula okubhaliwe emnyango.

– Yebo, imbuzi endala, uyitholile. – Ngathatha umakhalekhukhwini wami ngathumela i-SMS kubaba. Ngemuva kwalokho wangena endlini wanikeza umama wakhe inothi. Wayefunda futhi emhlikihla.

Agibele. Sizokubuyisela. Futhi akulona izwi ngokuqhubeka kukababa. Ngiyitholile?

– Impela, mama, ngiyaqonda… Futhi ake sithathe ingulube kumphathi omkhulu, ahh? waphakamisa.

– Uyini? Kumele senze konke ngokuya ngomthethosisekelo nangobulungiswa.

– Ungikhihla ngokungabi nangqondo?

– Ungumqondisi. Wazi kangcono. Futhi ngokwakhe uzolungisiswa phambi kukaNkulunkulu.

– Ingabe yileya elengiswe odongeni ehhovisi?

– Cishe. Lapho kulenga u-Iron Felix, iPhini lakhe. Kulungile, hamba wenze umsebenzi wakho wesikole.

– ngenzile. Mama, ngingahamba ngizohamba ngezinyawo emfuleni?

– Hamba, kepha khumbula, umdlwane: shona, ungafiki ekhaya. Ngizokubulala… Ngabe ngiyakubulala?

– Yebo. – U-Izzy wamemeza wanyamalala ngemuva komnyango…

– Uuh, – umlawuli, ongowokuzalwa kwelinye ipulazi elihlanganyele laseLatvia, unikine ikhanda, evumela izivakashi ukuba zidlule. – Akunanembeza, kusobala ukuthi ubuso abuwona owaseRussia, futhi kudonsa umfaniswano jikelele.

– Futhi kukhona isijeziso sokuphatha ngaso.. – Wachaza uSergeant Golytko, ongowokuzalwa eLviv.

– Nali iphasiphothi lami, elines screech, uHarutun Karapetovich futhi wamnikeza ipenta. – Russian. NgingumRussia, wami!

– Njengami, – engeza ipenti

– Nami. – Ukuhlukumeza amehlo akhe, umlawuli ungezile.

– Kulungile, unempilo. – Iphasiphothi lamaqabunga lalihlaba umkhosi, – noma owesibili, – wawubukeka ungaphansi kwamabunzi, – ungumculi? – ngamehlo anemibala eminingi, emva kwalokho wehlise ukubuka kwakhe ukutadisha ezindlebeni, – noma ku-zoophile?

Amehlo ka-Ottila aqhephuka futhi wabambana njengethanga, ebuka i-Intsefalopat. I-Corporate reded.

– Well, stitch, yiziphi izinkomo edonsa wena, noma isiko lasekhaya? – isikhonzi sinikeze uHarutun ipasipoti.

– Ngingumculi onjani? Angisiye umsizi wesikhathi esigcwele edolobhaneni lasendaweni Sokolov Stream, eLeningrad Region.

– O, hlangazwa, phuma lapha. – kuphakanyiswa isikhulu somsebenzi.

– Nayi i-ID yami.

– Corporate, uthi? – lo msakazi wahlafuna esihlathini sakhe wafaka imbewu emlonyeni wakhe. – kahle, ukhululekile, futhi lona uzofika nami.

– Kusho ukuthini ukuthi, «woza nami»? -uBedbug wathukuthela. – Ake ngibize umphathi wami manje? Uzobeka ubuchopho bakho…

– Uyabiza, ufonela lapho, ehhovisi lami, futhi ekuqaleni ngikuvivinya ukuthi useshe, mhlawumbe ungumphekula wakwaChechen noma uphunyuke kubazali bakho. Wozani, asihambe. inceku yathuka futhi yamane yamdubula: kungaba nge-butt noma ngesigajana, u-Ottil wayephathwe naye isibhamu sokuhlaselwa esitimeleni sikaloliwe isiteshi sesitimela. U-Ancephalopath wamlandela futhi wafuna ngisho nokuhamba nomlilo ne-Ottila yakhe, njengoba kwakubukeka sengathi uKlop, wanyamalala ngokushesha ngemuva kwekholamu futhi wenza sengathi akamazi uKlop.

– UHarutun, shayela u-Isolde, makamlethe imibhalo! – kumemeza uKlop.

«Futhi masishane,» kunezela lo mshushisi, «uma kungenjalo uzohlala nathi isikhathi eside.»

– Futhi izokhishwa nini? kubuza uHarutun.

– Ungamsungula kanjani umuntu…

– Izinsuku ezintathu? – ikhehla lamamatheka.

– Noma mhlawumbe iminyaka emithathu. – kuphendule umlindi. – Uma engeke amelane nabaphathi. – wabe eshaya umnyango usuka ngaphakathi.

U-Incephalopath, ngeminwe yesandla sakhe sobunxele, wagoba isilevu sakhe esincane, kwathi esakhula ngaphansi kwempumulo, wanquma ukwenza lo msebenzi, owamfanela yena neBoss lakhe. Waphuma ngokushesha esiteshini wangena emgwaqweni futhi ngokushesha wema.

– Ngiyaphi? UHarutun wazibuza.

– Ku-Isolde, wena siphukuphuku. – uphendule ngokwethuka izwi elingaphakathi.

– Ngakho-ke ayikho imali? Ngizoya kuphi?

– Futhi wena, ngenxa yesithandwa sakho, yeba, lapho, kuleya ndoda ebheke fat ehleli jeep emnyama.

– Uyamshaya ebusweni. Futhi akufanele, ngiyi pent?!

Futhi ngenkathi uHarutun ebonisana nezwi lakhe langaphakathi, uKlop, enikeze imininingwane yakhe, wavuka ngesizotha ngenkathi ehleli monkey.

– Sawubona bum, fart enhle! – Kumemeza isikhonzi. U-Ottila wababaza wavula amehlo akhe amangele. Wavuma umlomo wakhe, lapho ezizwa eshibilika emlonyeni wakhe, wazama ukuqoqa amathe nolimi, kepha kwakungekho manzi emlonyeni wakhe futhi wacela ukuya endlini encane.

– Uzakwethu, ngingakwazi ukusebenzisa indlu yangasese?

Abadala bamphendula kahle bathi, «kungenzeka, kodwa uma uyigeza.»

– Kungani? – U-Ottila wathukuthela, – Ngingumboshwa, kepha unenenekazi lokuhlanza esifundeni sakho futhi udinga ukugeza phansi.

– Kufanele kodwa kungaphoqelekile ukuthi igeze i-dolnyak ngemuva kokunuka okunjalo kwabantu abangenamakhaya. Hhayi-ke, kanjani?

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