Эрих Ремарк - Время жить и время умирать - английский и русский параллельные тексты
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Jews?" Steinbrenner grinned. "If you could see my conduct records you wouldn't have to ask. Those were the times!" He bent over confidentially toward Graeber. "I've put in for a transfer. Back to an S.S. division. There's more going on there. And you've got better chances. Everything's on a bigger scale. No boring court-martials for every lousy Russian. They get rid of them in batches. Not long ago three hundred Polish and Russian traitors in one afternoon. Six men got the Distinguished Service Cross for that. Here all that turns up is a few measly guerrillas-you don't get any decorations for that. We haven't had more than half a dozen since you left. In the clean-up battalions and in the S.S. Security Service they get hundreds and hundreds. A man can get ahead there!" Graeber stared out into the red Russian evening. A few crows were flapping about like dark rags. Steinbrenner was the perfect product of the Party. He was perfectly healthy, in perfect physical training, perfectly devoid of any thoughts of his own, and perfectly inhuman. He was an automaton, for whom polishing a gun, exercising, and killing were all the same. "You sent the announcement of Hirschland's death to his mother, didn't you?" Graeber asked, "Who says so?" "I know it." "You know
nothing at all. How could you know?" "I found out. That was a fine joke." Steinbrenner laughed. He had no ear for irony. His pretty face beamed with satisfaction. "You think so too? Just imagine the expression on that old woman's face! And nothing can happen to me. Hirschland will be careful not to say anything. And even if he did, it was simply a mistake! Could happen any time." Graeber looked at him closely. "You have nerve," he said. "Nerve? That doesn't take nerve. Just a sense of humor." "You're wrong. It takes nerve. Anyone who does a thing like that always dies himself soon after. That's well known." Steinbrenner laughed aloud.
"Drivel! That's an old wives' tale!" "It's not an old wives' tale. Anyone who does that summons his own death. That's an established fact." "Oh,
listen," Steinbrenner said. "You don't mean you - Северофризская - с моей стороны, рейнско-нижнесаксонская - с ее. Гребер не отрываясь смотрел на багровый русский закат. Черными лоскутами мелькали на его фоне несколько ворон. Штейнбреннер, насвистывая, ушел.
believe that yourself?" "I do believe it. So should you. It's an old Germanic belief. I wouldn't like to be in your boots." "You're crazy!" Steinbrenner stood up. He was no longer laughing. "I knew two people who did something similar. Both were killed shortly after. Another was lucky. He only got shot in the balls. Naturally it made him impotent. Perhaps you'll get off as cheaply as that. Then naturally there won't be any twins or triplets. But of course someone else could always take care of that for you. In the Party the only important thing is purity of blood-not the individual." Steinbrenner stared at Graeber. "Man, what an unfeeling ass you are!" he said. "Have you really always been like that? Besides, that's all drivel, drivel with gravy on it!" For a minute longer he stood there waiting. Then he walked off. Graeber leaned back. | |
The front was rumbling. | Фронт грохотал. |
The crows flew about. | Вороны летали. |
Suddenly it seemed to him as though he had never been away. | Греберу вдруг показалось, будто он и не уезжал отсюда. |
He had sentry duty from midnight until two o'clock. His route lay around the village. | От полуночи до двух часов утра он был в карауле и обходил деревню. |
The ruins stood out black against the fireworks of the front. | На фоне фейерверка, вспыхивающего над передовой, чернели развалины. |
The sky shook, brightening and darkening with the muzzle flashes of the artillery. | Небо дрожало, то светлея от залпов артиллерии, то снова темнея. |
His boots groaned in the tough mud like damned souls. | В липкой грязи сапоги стонали, точно души осужденных грешников. |
The pain came upon him swiftly and surprisingly and without any warning. | Боль настигла его сразу, внезапно, без предупреждения. |
He had not been thinking of anything and had been in a stupor as on the days of his journey. | Все эти дни в пути он ни о чем не думал, словно отупел. |
Now suddenly and without transition pain cut through him as though he were being torn to ribbons. | И вот сейчас, неожиданно, без всякого перехода, боль так резнула, словно его раздирали на части. |
He stood still and waited. | Гребер остановился и стал ждать. |
He made no move. | Он не двигался. |
He waited for the knife to begin to turn, to become torment and realization of torment, to acquire a name and with the name to become localized and accessible to reason and solace or at least to stoic acceptance. | Он ждал, чтобы ножи начали полосовать его, чтобы они вызвали нестерпимую муку и обрели имя, а тогда на них можно будет повлиять силой разума, утешениями или, по крайней мере, терпеливой покорностью. |
It did not come. | Но ничего этого не было. |
Nothing was there but the clear pain of loss. | Ничего, кроме острой боли утраты. |
It was a loss forever. | Утраты навеки. |
Nowhere was there a bridge. | Нигде не было мостика к прошлому. |
He had had it and it was lost. | Гребер владел всем и утратил все. |
He listened inward. | Он прислушался к себе. |
Somewhere there must still be a voice; an echo of hope must still linger somewhere. But he found nothing. | Ведь где-то еще должен маячить, как тень, хотя бы отзвук надежды, но он не услышал его. |
There were only emptiness and nameless pain. | Внутри была только пустота и невыразимая боль. |
It is too early, he thought. | "Еще не время, - подумал Гребер. |
It will come back, later, when the pain is past. | - Надежда вернется позже, когда исчезнет боль". |
He tried to conjure it up; he did not want it to tear itself away; he wanted to hold onto it, even if the pain became unbearable. | Он попытался вызвать в себе надежду, он не хотел, чтобы все ушло, он хотел удержать ее, даже если боль станет еще нестерпимее. |
It would come back if he only persevered, he thought. | "Надежда вернется, главное - выдержать", -говорил он себе. |
He whispered names and tried to remember. | Затем он стал называть имена и пытался припомнить события. |
Shrouded by mist Elisabeth's distracted face> appeared. It was the way it had been when he had last seen it. | Как в тумане, возникло растерянное лицо Элизабет, такое, каким он видел его в последний раз. |
All her other faces were blurred; this one alone became clear. | Все ее другие лица расплылись, только одно это стало отчетливым. |
He tried to picture Frau Witte's garden and house. | Он попытался представить себе сад и дом фрау Витте. |
He could do it, but it was as though he were striking the keys of a piano that gave no sound. | Это удалось ему, но так, как если бы, нажимая на клавиши рояля, он не слышал ни звука. |
What has happened? he thought. | "Что произошло? - думал он. |
Perhaps she has had an accident. | - Может быть, с ней что-нибудь случилось? |
Perhaps she is unconscious. | Или она без сознания? |
Perhaps at this very moment the house is caving in. | Может быть, в эту минуту обвалился дом? |
Perhaps she is dead. | И она мертва?" |
He tore his boots out of the mud. | Он вытащил сапоги из грязи. |
The damp earth sighed. | Вязкая земля всхлипнула. |
He realized that he was sweating. | Он почувствовал, что весь взмок. |
"That's going to tire you out," someone said. | - Этак ты умучаешься, - заметил кто-то. |
It was Sauer. | Оказалось - Зауэр. |
He was standing in the corner of a ruined stall. | Он стоял в углу разрушенного хлева. |
"What's more it can be heard for at least a kilometer," he went on. | - Кроме того, тебя слышно за километр, -продолжал он. |
"What are you trying to do, setting-up exercises?" | - Что это ты, гимнастику делаешь? |
"Sauer, you're married, aren't you?" | -Ты женат, Зауэр, а? |
"Of course. | -А то как же? |
When you have a farm you have to be married. | Когда есть хозяйство, обязательно надо иметь жену. |
Without a woman a farm's no good." | Без жены какое же хозяйство! |
"Have you been married a long time?" | - И давно ты женат? |
"Fifteen years. | - Пятнадцать лет. |
Why?" | А что? |
"What's it like when you've been married for such a long time?" | - Как это бывает, когда долго женат? |
"The questions you ask, man! | - О чем ты спрашиваешь, милый человек? |
What should it be like?" | Что как бывает? |
"Is it like an anchor that holds you? | - Ну, может быть, вроде якоря, который тебя держит? |
Something you think about all the time and want to get back to?" | Или вроде чего-то, о чем всегда думаешь и к чему стремишься скорей вернуться? |
"What do you mean, anchor? | - Якорь? Какой там еще якорь? |
Of course I think about it. | Ясное дело, я об этом думаю. |
I've been thinking about it all day, if you want to know. | Вот и нынче целый день. |
It's time for spring sowing and planting! | Скоро время сажать да сеять. |
You get silly in the head just thinking about it." | Прямо голова кругом идет от всех этих дум. |
"I don't mean your farm. I mean your wife." | - Я говорю не о хозяйстве, а о жене. |
"They go together. | -Так это ж одно. |
I've just explained it to you. | Я же тебе объяснил. |
Without a woman a farm's no good. | Без жены и настоящего хозяйства не будет. |
But what do you get from it? | А что толку думать? |
Nothing but worry. | Беспокойство - и только. |
On top of that here's Immermann always trying to tell you that the prisoners of war lie in bed with every woman who's alone." Sauer blew his nose. | Да тут еще Иммерман заладил, будто пленные спят с каждой одинокой женщиной, - Зауэр высморкался. |
"It's a big double bed," he added for some mysterious reason. | - У нас большая двуспальная кровать, - добавил он почему-то. |
"Immermann doesn't know what he's talking about." | - Иммерман - трепло. |
"He says that once a woman has found out what a man is she can't hold out for long without one. | - Он говорит, что если уж женщина узнала мужчину, так долго одна не выдержит. |
She's sure to find another for herself." | Живо начнет искать другого. |
"Oh, crap!" Graeber said, suddenly furious. | -Вот сволочь,- сказал Гребер, вдруг разозлившись. |
"That damned Communist thinks everyone's the same. | - Этот проклятый болтун всех под одну гребенку стрижет. |
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